Heaven, Texas (26 page)

Ahead of them, Natalie turned, her expression worried. “You're certain the pager you gave me works, Bobby Tom?”

Gracie knew Natalie was nervous about her first separation from Elvis, even though she trusted Terry Jo, who had become her semi-regular baby-sitter. All week she had been expressing breast milk into bottles and freezing it to get ready for this day.

“I tested it myself,” Bobby Tom said. “If Terry Jo's having any problems at all with Elvis, she'll get hold of you right away.”

Anton thanked him for the third time.

As of this morning, Bobby Tom had still been complaining about how hard it was for him to face Natalie's husband after everything he and Natalie had been doing behind his back. Natalie might not have any difficulty approaching their on-camera love scenes as a professional, but Bobby Tom felt as if he was somehow violating his personal code of honor.

Despite the incongruity of its urban setting, Gracie loved her tour of the Alamo. Along with dozens of other tourists, she listened to the guide's dramatic recounting of the thirteen fateful days that led to Texas independence and found her eyes misting at the end.

Bobby Tom gazed at her with amusement as she dabbed at them with a tissue. “For a Yankee gal who doesn't know George Strait from Waylon Jennings, you've got a proper attitude.”

“Oh, Anton, look! Davy Crockett's rifle!”

Gracie felt a pang of envy as she watched Natalie draw her husband's attention to the contents of a large glass case. Their intimacy was evident in every touch they exchanged, every glance that passed between them. Natalie had been able to see past her husband's homely exterior to the man beneath. Was it possible that Bobby Tom might someday do the same with her?

She backed away from that particular fantasy. There was no need to torture herself with the impossible.

After their tour of the Alamo, they ended up at the Riverwalk a few blocks away. There, they took a ride on one of the tourist barges that cruised beneath the stone bridges of the waterway, then they wandered along the winding flagstone pathways. They ended up at a collection of shops known as La Villita, where Bobby Tom bought Gracie sunglasses with lavender lenses shaped like the state of Texas and Gracie reciprocated by buying him a T-shirt that read,
I'M NOT TOO SMART, BUT I CAN LIFT HEAVY THINGS.
Natalie and Gracie giggled over the T-shirt until their eyes teared, while Bobby Tom pretended great indignation. At the same time, he kept holding it up to the mirror and admiring himself.

As evening approached, they stopped at his favorite Riverwalk eatery, the Zuni Grill. While they nibbled on pecan-crusted chicken and ate black bean and goat cheese enchiladas, they enjoyed the pedestrian traffic passing in front of them.

Bobby Tom had just taken a bite of Gracie's dessert, a scrumptious bourbon pecan crême brülée, when she felt him stiffen. She followed the direction of his eyes toward the open metal stairway that led to the upper tier of the restaurant and saw Suzy Denton coming down the steps.

Way Sawyer was walking right behind her.

N
atalie, who'd just returned to the table from her third telephone call to check on Elvis, spotted Suzy and Way Sawyer on the stairs. “Bobby Tom, isn't that your mother? Who's that great looking man with her?”

“Careful, chérie,” Anton said. “You're going to make me jealous.” Natalie laughed, as if Anton had just made the silliest joke imaginable.

“His name is Way Sawyer,” Bobby Tom said tightly.

At that moment Suzy spotted her son, and her face froze. She looked as if she wanted to flee, but since that was impossible, she approached the table, her reluctance obvious. Way followed just behind.

As she stopped, her mouth curled in a brittle smile. “Hello.”

Everyone but Bobby Tom returned her greeting.

“I see you and the baby made it back to town safely,” Way said to Gracie.

“We did. It was nice of you to stop.”

Bobby Tom gave her a sharp, questioning look. She ignored him and explained to Natalie and Anton how she and Way had met. She also performed the introductions, since Bobby Tom showed no inclination to do so.

The tension between mother and son was so strong Gracie could almost feel the air twang. Way began to address the table in general in a voice that was a shade too effusive.

“I have an apartment not too far away. When I stopped in here for a bite to eat a little while ago and saw Mrs. Denton sitting alone, I persuaded her to let me join her, but I need to be getting back.” Turning to her, he took her hand and shook it. “It was good to see you, Mrs. Denton. Nice seeing all of you.” With a final nod, he left the restaurant.

Gracie had seldom heard a less convincing cover-up. She noticed that Suzy's gaze followed Way as he wended his way through the tables and turned out onto the walk.

Since Bobby Tom continued to be mute, she took it upon herself to invite Suzy to join them. “We're just having dessert. Why don't we ask the waiter for another chair?”

“Oh, no. No, thank you. I—I need to get back.”

Bobby Tom finally spoke. “It's a little late for you to be driving home tonight.”

“I'm staying over. A friend and I are going to the symphony at the Performing Arts Center.”

“What friend?”

Gracie could almost see Suzy crumpling under the force of his displeasure, and she was furious with him for bullying her. If his mother wanted to see Mr. Sawyer, that was her business, not his, and Suzy should tell him so. But at that moment, Suzy seemed more like a child while Bobby Tom had adopted the role of a stern, judgmental parent.

“No one you know.” Suzy's hand fluttered to her hair. “Well, good-bye, everyone. Enjoy your dessert.” She hurriedly left the restaurant, turning to the left when she reached the sidewalk, the opposite direction Way Sawyer had taken.

Suzy's heart thudded against her ribs. She felt as if she had just been caught in an act of adultery, and she knew Bobby Tom would never forgive her for this. She rushed along the sidewalk, dodging couples with baby strollers and groups of Japanese tourists. The low heels of her brown and-black spectator pumps tapped a frantic cadence on the uneven fieldstone walk. Nearly a month had passed since the illicit night she and Way had spent together, and nothing had been the same since.

She remembered how tender he had been with her the next morning, despite her condemning silence. As they'd driven to the golf course, he'd told her that he wouldn't ever touch her again but that he'd like to continue seeing her. She had acted as if she had no choice in the matter— as if he'd close Rosatech if she didn't do as he asked—but in her secret heart she hadn't believed it. Despite his tough facade, that sort of ruthlessness wasn't in his nature.

In the end, she had continued to see him. As long as there was no physical contact between them, she told herself it wasn't a betrayal, so there was no harm. And because she couldn't face the truth, she let herself pretend she was with him against her will. As they played golf, talked about their gardens, and flew around the state to entertain his business associates, she privately acted out the role of the reluctant hostage, just as if the fate of Telarosa rested on her shoulders. And because he cared for her, he had let her get away with it.

But what had just happened had put an end to that. In the space of minutes, the fragile world of illusion she had built for herself had been smashed apart. God forgive her, she wanted to be with him. Their times together were like bright splashes of color against the monotonous predictability of her daily life. He made her laugh and feel young again. He made her believe that life still held possibilities and filled her aching loneliness. But by letting him come to mean so much to her, she had betrayed her marriage vows, and now her dishonor had been exposed to the one person on earth from whom she'd most wanted to hide her weakness.

The doorman let her into the building where Way lived, and she took the small elevator up to his apartment. She dug in her purse for the key he'd given her, but before she could fit it in the lock, he swung the door open.

His face was set in the same grim lines she remembered from their early encounters, and she almost expected a scathing comment, but, instead, he shut the door and drew her into his arms. “Are you all right?”

For just a moment, she allowed herself to rest her cheek against the front of his shirt, but even that brief comfort felt like a betrayal of Hoyt. “I didn't know he was going to be there,” she said as she pulled away. “It was so unexpected.”

“I won't let him badger you about this.”

“He's my son. You won't be able to stop him.”

He walked over to the window and, bracing the heel of his hand on the wall next to it, gazed out. “If you could have seen the look on your face when we were standing there  .  .  .” His shoulders heaved as he drew a deep breath. “He didn't believe me when I told him we'd met accidentally. I wasn't very convincing. I'm sorry.”

He was a proud man, and she understood what it had cost him to lie on her behalf. “I'm sorry, too.”

He turned to her, and his expression was so bleak she wanted to weep. “I can't do this anymore, Suzy. I can't keep sneaking around. I want to be able to walk down the sidewalk with you in Telarosa and be invited into your house.” He gave her a long, searching gaze. “I want to be able to touch you.”

She sagged down on the couch, knowing the end had come but unwilling to accept it. “I'm sorry,” she repeated.

“I have to let you go,” he said quietly.

Panic spread through her, and her hands knotted into fists at her sides. “You're using what just happened as a way out, aren't you? You've had your amusement, and now you're ready to get rid of me and move Rosatech, too.”

If he was startled by her unfair attack, he gave no sign of it. “This doesn't have anything to do with Rosatech. I'd hoped you would have known that by now.”

She hurled her pain and guilt at him. “Do men like you have some kind of corporate locker room where you go to tell each other stories about all the women you seduce with your threats? They must have laughed at you for going after an old biddy like me when you could have had some busty young fashion model.”

“Suzy, stop it,” he said wearily. “I never meant to threaten you.”

“Are you sure you don't want to screw me again?” Her voice choked on her tears. “Or was it so distasteful that you only wanted to do it once?”

“Suzy  .  .  .” He came toward her, and she knew he wanted to take her into the comfort of his arms, but before he could touch her, she jumped up from the couch and moved away from him.

“I'm glad you're putting an end to it,” she declared fiercely. “I never wanted it to happen in the first place. I want to forget all of this and go back to the way things were before I walked into your office.”

“I don't. I was lonely as hell.” He stood in front of her, but he didn't touch her. “Suzy, you've been a widow for four years. Tell me why we can't be together. Do you still hate me so much?”

Her anger faded. Slowly, she shook her head. “I don't hate you at all.”

“I never intended to move Rosatech; you know that, don't you? I'm the one who started the rumor. I was like a little kid. I wanted to strike back at the town for the way they'd treated my mother all those years ago. She was a sixteen-year-old kid, Suzy, and she was brutally raped by three men, but she was the one punished. Still, I never intended for you to get caught in the path, and I won't forgive myself for that.”

She turned her face away, silently begging him not to say any more, but he wouldn't stop.

“That afternoon when you came into my office, I took one look at you and felt like a kid from the wrong side of the tracks all over again.”

“And you punished me for it.”

“I didn't mean to. It never entered my head to blackmail you into sleeping with me—surely you know that by now—but you looked so beautiful that night you walked into my bedroom, and I wanted you so much that I couldn't let you go.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “You forced me! It wasn't my fault! You made me give in to you!” Even to her own ears, her words sounded like those of a small child unwilling to take responsibility for her own actions and blaming everyone around her.

He regarded her with eyes so old and sad she wanted to weep. When he spoke, his voice was a hoarse rasp, full of pain. “That's right, Suzy. I forced you. It was my fault. Only mine.”

She willed herself to keep silent and let it end there, but her innate sense of honor rebelled. This was her sin far more than it was his. Turning away, she murmured, “No, it wasn't. All I had to do was say no.”

“It had been a long time for you. You're a passionate woman, and I took advantage of that.”

“Please don't lie for me; I've done enough of that for myself.” She took a ragged breath. “You didn't force me. I could have walked away any time I chose.”

“Why didn't you?”

“Because  .  .  . It felt so good.”

He touched her. “You know, don't you, that I fell in love with you that night? Or maybe it happened thirty years ago, and I never got over it.”

She pressed her fingertips to his lips. “Don't say that. It's not true.”

“I fell in love with you, Suzy, even though I know I can never compete with Hoyt.”

“This doesn't have anything to do with competition. He was my life. We married for always. And when I'm with you, I'm betraying him.”

“That's crazy. You're a widow, and in this country women don't throw themselves on their dead husband's funeral pyre.”

“He was my life,” she repeated, not knowing how else to express it. “There could never be anybody else.”

“Suzy—”

Her eyes filled with tears. “I'm so sorry, Way. I never meant to hurt you. I—I care too much about you.

He couldn't quite conceal his bitterness. “Apparently not enough to throw off your widow's weeds and start living again.”

She saw the pain she was causing him and felt as if it were piercing her own body. “You saw how Bobby Tom reacted tonight. I wanted to die.”

He looked as if she'd slapped him. “Then there's nothing more to be said, is there? I won't cause you shame.”

“Way—”

“Get your things packed. I'll have a car waiting for you downstairs.” Without giving her a chance to respond, he walked out of the apartment.

She fled to the guest room, where she'd stayed ever since that first night, and threw her clothes into a suitcase. As tears trickled down her cheeks, she told herself her nightmare was over. Eventually she would learn to forgive herself for what had happened and go on with the rest of her life. From now on she'd be safe.

And very much alone.

The fight blew up like a summer storm: quick, unexpected, turbulent. As the two couples flew back to Telarosa from San Antonio, Gracie considered what she should do about Bobby Tom's rude behavior toward his mother at the restaurant. By the time Natalie and Anton had left and they were finally alone, she had decided to hold her tongue. She knew how much Bobby Tom loved Suzy, and now that he'd had some time to cool off, she was certain he would be ready to make amends.

It didn't take him long, however, to relieve her of that notion. As he entered the living room, he threw his hat down on the couch.

“Call my mother in the morning and tell her we won't be coming for dinner on Tuesday night.”

Gracie followed him as he stalked into his office. “She'll be disappointed. She said she was making a special meal for you.”

“She's going to have to eat it alone.” He sprawled down behind his desk. Ignoring the ringing of the phone, he picked up the stack of mail Gracie had organized for him, making it clear that he was dismissing her.

“I know you're upset, but don't you think you should try to be a little more understanding about this?”

His nostrils flared with outrage. “You didn't believe that crap of Sawyer's about how he just happened to run into her at the restaurant, did you?”

“What difference does it make? They're both adults.”

“What
difference
does it make?” He jumped up from the desk and whipped around the side to face her. “They're seeing each other, that's what!”

The answering machine clicked on and someone named Charlie began leaving a message about a boat he knew Bobby Tom was going to want to buy from him.

“You don't know that for a fact,” she pointed out. “Instead of flying off the handle like this, why don't you just talk to her about what happened? If they're dating, she has her reasons. Talk to her, Bobby Tom. She's seemed so sad lately. I have a feeling she needs your support right now.”

He jabbed his index finger toward her. “Stop right there! She'll never get my support on this. Not ever. When she started keeping company with Way Sawyer, she betrayed everybody in this town.”

Gracie couldn't suppress her indignation. “She's your mother! She should come ahead of the town in your loyalty.”

“You don't understand anything.” He began pacing across the carpet. “I can't believe what a fool I made of myself. I didn't give those rumors a minute's thought. It never occurred to me she'd stab everybody in the back like this.”

“Stop talking about Mr. Sawyer as if he's a serial killer. I happen to think he's a nice man. He didn't have to stop that day I was parked on the side of the highway, and I like the way he tried to protect your mother today. He knew how you'd feel about seeing them together, and he did his best to shield her.”