Hell Bent (23 page)

I
t was only a dream
,
I tell myself as I work to control my breathing. I wipe my sweat-drenched face on the sheet before groping around for the light switch. Once the light is on, my anxiety recedes a little.

This dream had been more realistic than usual—more memory than a dream, really. There’d been no dragons to face, no fireballs. Just my dead squadron, screaming in pain as I watched them die, knowing it was all my fault.

Shaking my head, I climb out of bed. It’s nearly five o’clock, according to my phone, so there is no chance I’d be getting back to sleep. I groan at the realization, considering I hadn’t even fallen asleep in the first place until after two a.m. And today promises to be a long, tedious day.

The wedding. My father’s wedding. First, there will be a ceremony—“small and tasteful”—at City Hall. I’m expected to be there for that. I’m serving as my father’s witness. I don’t mind, I guess. Then, there will be a reception—large and extravagant, I’m sure—held at my father’s friend’s mansion in West Virginia. From the sound of it, half the city is expected to show up—a laundry list of politicians and military personnel. I’m absolutely dreading the reception. I’ve never been very extraverted—I’m not one for charming crowds or talking to strangers. And since my… incident… I’ve wanted to be around others less and less.

I can’t help but wonder if Milly will be there. The last time we spoke, she was extremely angry with her mother. I can’t imagine she will have gotten over it completely by now. But Sabrina seems sure Milly would be there—both for the ceremony and the reception. I’ll believe it when I see it.

I can’t decide if I want her to be there or not. The last time I saw her—the last image I have of her in my head—she was in tears. Because of me. That’s not how I like to imagine her, though. Generally when I think about her, in the shower or in my bed, it’s those images from our one night together. Sometimes I think about her as I run, remember her voice and her smile.

It would be nice to see her again, but I also know that it will be extremely hard—to see her and hear her and know that I can never have her. Not the way I want to, at least.

“
B
ig day
,” my father says as I come down the stairs. He hasn’t stayed here, at his own apartment, in a while. Generally, he stays at Sabrina’s house, which I’m more than happy about. This way, I don’t wake him up when I scream in the night. But they’d decided to be traditional and sleep apart the night before their wedding.

Which means I have the pleasure of dealing with him this morning.

“You ready?” I ask as I pour myself a cup of coffee.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” he replies.

“It
was
very fast,” I say, trying to keep my voice casual. We never talk much—except maybe about my health, or the Marines. But I feel the need to point this out today. I’m feeling contrary.

“It had to be,” he grumbles. “There was no other time to do it. Next year is an election year, and Sabrina will have to start campaigning soon.”

“Do you ever think…” I stop, not really sure that I want to broach this topic.

“Think what?” he asks. His eyes are narrowed, and I can tell that he knows what direction I’m going.

“Never mind,” I say, trying to drown myself in my coffee cup.

“Say it, son,” he growls.

“I mean… it’s a great political move—for her.”

“It’ll be good for both of our careers,” he snaps. “Sabrina is a fine woman.”

I don’t reply, I just nod.

“I was thinking,” I say, deciding to change the subject. “I may skip out on the reception. I didn’t sleep well and I really don’t want to drive all the way out to West Virginia and deal with all those people.”

“You will do no such thing,” he says, slamming his coffee cup down against the counter. “I don’t know what’s come over you, son. First you’re questioning the woman I’m supposed to marry today, now you’re saying you won’t come to the wedding.”

“I’m coming to the wedding,” I say, exasperated. “I just don’t want to go to the reception. I haven’t been sleeping enough and I don’t feel well.”

“Did you stop and think about what it would look like if my only son wasn’t at my wedding reception? Sabrina’s daughters will be there.”

“Both of them?” I ask, almost trembling. “You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. But don’t get any ideas. They are to become your
sisters
after today.”

“I’m going up to change,” I say, no longer able to deal with him. My heart speeds up a little at the thought of seeing Milly again, even if she hasn’t forgiven me. At least I’ll get to see her. Maybe she’ll smile, and perhaps I’ll even get to hear her laugh.

S
abrina is already waiting
when we arrive at City Hall, her two daughters flanking her on either side. She is wearing a white skirt-suit that appears to have been perfectly tailored to her body. Her blond hair is adorning the top of her head in intricate braids. She probably looks very pretty, but I find her cold and harsh. I shudder, imagining binding myself to that woman forever.

The girl to her right—Madi, I assume—is very similar to Sabrina in mannerisms and dress, though her blond hair is cut short and her suit is a cream color. I’m afraid to hazard a look past Sabrina’s left shoulder, but when I do, I have to fight to breathe. Milly looks absolutely stunning. She’s wearing a pale blue dress that makes her eyes brighter than they already are. It hugs her body, accentuating her chest and hips. Her blonde hair falls loosely around her shoulders. I long to run my fingers through it.

Milly doesn’t look at me. She doesn’t look at her mother either. In fact, she keeps her eyes focused on the ground as she follows Sabrina through the door and into the judge’s chambers where the ceremony takes place.

I can’t focus on what’s being said. The judge is talking, then my father exchanges vows with Sabrina. At one point, he extends his hand out towards me, and I absentmindedly drop her ring into his hand, but other than that, I lose track of what’s going on.

I can’t focus on anything but Milly. She looks sad, her eyes unfocused as she canvases the room, looking everywhere except at me or the ceremony taking place in front of us. It makes me sad. I remember how it felt to have those magnificent blue eyes trained on me, passionate and hungry. I shake my head, quickly trying to change my train of thought before I’ll need to adjust my pants.

Soon enough, the ceremony is over. Madi, Milly, and I are asked to sign something, as witnesses. Milly hangs back, waiting for me to sign and step away before she approaches the table. I can’t help but appreciate the way her dress hugs her ass as she bends over to sign her name.
Stop it, Cameron.

I turn and head outside, in dire need of a breath of fresh air. It’s going to be a long day.

T
he reception is just
as awful as I thought it would be. There are lots of friends of my father’s who have known me for years, and whom I can’t avoid. Most of them know about my injury in Baghdad. They talk to me with pity in their eyes. It makes my stomach queasy. What’s worse, there are a few people who I know have read the details of what happened. They smile just the same, yet I can’t help but wonder if they secretly blame me. Do they think I even deserve to be accepted back into Marines?

I end up hiding away in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I sit up there for what feels like hours, playing on my phone. If I could leave, I would have done so in a heart beat. And so I stay hidden.

I think the area I’m in is actually off limits. I had to do some creative maneuvering in order to get past the attendant at the bottom of the stairs. But it was worth it, because now I’m completely alone and haven’t had to talk to anyone in a while. I play the game on my phone as I will the time to pass.

“Cameron?”

I jump at the sound of my name, dropping my phone. I look up into Milly’s surprised face. I’d been so wrapped up in my stupid game that I hadn’t heard the door open. She leans down to pick up my phone and hands it to me, an eyebrow raised.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, wincing because it sounds rude.

“I could ask the same of you,” she replies as she moves to sit beside me on the bed.

“I’m hiding,” I admit with a small laugh. “It’s miserable down there. And you?”

“Looking for you, actually,” she says. She looks away, as if she’s embarrassed. Something inside me grows warm at her admission.

“You were?” I ask, trying not to sound too excited. “Why?”

“I thought we could talk,” she says. “I haven’t seen you in a while. I was just wondering how you were doing—how you were recovering.”

I can’t help but feel slightly disappointed. She’s probably only asking in her capacity as a nurse. I’d been her patient for over three weeks. It makes perfect sense for her to ask after my health.

“I’m well,” I lie.

Milly doesn’t seem to be convinced. She just looks at me intensely. I can feel myself blush under her scrutiny. I wonder what she sees when she looks at me. Can she tell that I’m not sleeping very well? Can she tell how much I’ve missed her? How happy I am to see her now?

“You don’t look so well,” she tells me eventually.

“Gee, thanks,” I say, looking away.

“Are you sleeping?” she asks.

“Some,” I answer more honestly. She just nods and doesn’t reply, so I continue. “How about yourself, how have you been?”

“Okay,” she manages, and I know she’s lying as well.

“I didn’t know if I’d see you here,” I say after a moment of silence.

“I didn’t want to come,” she admits.

“Then why did you?” I ask.

“Madi, mostly. She didn’t want to have to be here alone.”

“I totally get that,” I say with a dry laugh. “It really sucks.”

“Hence the hiding place,” Milly says with a smirk. It’s the most genuine smile I’ve seen on her all day. I grin at her in return.

“I guess it’s not all bad when you have a hiding place,” I agree. “You should tell Madi that, then you can leave knowing she’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” she says, looking down. “I’m planning on leaving in a minute, actually. I just wanted to find you first and see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine,” I lie again, hoping that if I repeat it enough times, it will suddenly be true. “I’m good.”

A
s I look
at Cameron now, obviously lying about how well he’s doing, I have to fight the urge to wrap my arms around him and pull him into a tight hug. But that’s what I want
him
to do—hold me close and promise me that everything is going to be okay.

I’d intended to tell him off. That was one of the reason’s I’d finally agreed to show up to this shit show. Yes, I promised Madi and I did want to be there for her. But I also wanted to see Cameron again and give him a little piece of my mind. I’d let go of the fantasy of a public confrontation. I wasn’t planning on making a spectacle of him or myself. But I
was
planning on pulling him aside and telling him how I felt.

When he’d first arrived at the City Hall, however, paler than I’d ever seen him and with dark circles under his eyes, my heart almost bled. He’d lost even more muscle mass and he was skinnier than I’d ever seen him—even under the padded layers of a suit.

He shifted from foot to foot anxiously through the entire ceremony, his gaze constantly flitting over to land on me. I refused to look at him, not sure what I would do or say if I did. But I could see him out of the corner of my eye as I canvassed the room.

As the miserable ceremony progressed, I felt the anger and the bitterness that had been gnawing on me for weeks slip away. Yes, Cameron made a stupid decision. He’d allowed his father to tell him what to do—to dictate who he could and couldn’t date. And for whatever stupid reason, he was convinced that he wasn’t good enough for me. But he seemed to have paid for his choice. He was obviously miserable.

I promised myself that I would talk to him once we were at the reception. But then, for the first half hour or so, Cameron was constantly surrounded by people. I kept trying to sidle up next to him inconspicuously and wait for my turn, but every time I turned around there was another old man pinching his cheeks or telling him how sorry he was to hear about his injury.

Eventually, I’d given up and gone in search of food and drink. Later, I began my quest anew, only to find that Cameron had completely disappeared. I searched everywhere—inside, outside, even the parking lot.

“Are you looking for our dear stepbrother?” Madi had asked eventually, sliding up to me on the bench outside, a cocktail in her hand.

“Have you seen him?”

“I saw him earlier, slinking up the stairs,” she said with a smirk.

“The upstairs is off limits,” I replied with a huff.

“Which is why you’re going to slip past the attendant while I distract her. Don’t say I never did anything for you,” she said with a wink before going back inside, with me following closely behind and wondering over to the woman guarding the stairs.

She made herself trip, my dear big sister. I could’ve kissed her. As the woman bent down to help Madi get up, I quickly slipped past her and hurried up the stairs.

It took another fifteen minutes to find Cameron, who was tucked away in the corner bedroom. He was so focused on his phone that he didn’t even hear me enter and jumped adorably when I spoke. It made my heart pang.

And now he sits in front of me, obviously lying about his wellbeing as he smiles at me with those dimples and those eyes. I just want to kiss away his worries. Instead, I raise my eyebrows suspiciously.

“You don’t seem so well,” I tell him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, really. My doctors say I’m recovering fine.”

“Do they now?” I ask skeptically. “You look like you’ve lost more weight.”

“I do?” he asks, seeming genuinely surprised.

“Yes,” I answer, “and it’s worrying me that you haven’t noticed.”

“I’ve been running a lot,” he tells me. “It’s the only thing that helps me sleep.”

“Is it—helping you sleep?”

“Some,” he admits. “I’m sleeping some.”

“What do your doctors say about the insomnia?” I ask. I can tell by the way his face drops that he hasn’t told them. “They don’t know, do they?”

“I don’t want any more drugs,” he says adamantly. “They don’t help with the nightmares, they just make it harder to wake up.”

“You’re still having nightmares?” I ask. Maybe he is suffering more than just physical injuries.

I can tell that Cameron regrets mentioning them, but I refuse to let it go.

“Have you talked to anyone about them? Have you seen a therapist?”

“Yes,” he says defensively. “Once. But I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You
were
doing fine before, last time I saw you. What happened?”

“I don’t know. The last few weeks have just been tough. Stressful.”

“Since we stopped seeing each other?” I ask, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

“Since about that time,” he admits.

“And you still think you made the right decision, breaking up with me so it wouldn’t reflect poorly on our parents?” The bitterness definitely creeps into my words this time.

“That’s not why I broke up with you, Milly,” Cameron replies, his voice growing pained.

“Yeah, then why did you?” I’m almost ready to cry.

“I…” The wind goes out of his sails, and Cameron hunches in on himself. “I’m broken. I don’t have anything to offer you. You deserve so much better.”

And just like that, my heart completely melts. I reach out and stroke his hair, which has grown substantially since the last time I saw him.

“Everyone is broken in some way,” I tell him gently. “You’re not broken beyond repair.”

“What if I am?” he asks, still looking at his hands.

“Then I’ll make you unbroken. I’ll love you anyway,” I say. I realize my slip and cringe at the admission, but Cameron looks up and meets my eyes.

And then he’s surging forward, pushing me back onto the old, dusty bed as he presses his lips to mine. This kiss is unlike any we’ve had before. It’s hungry and demanding. He licks his way into my mouth then explores it with his tongue, as if he wants to taste every inch of me.

I whine when he pulls away, but his lips are soon on my neck, licking and sucking a path towards the top of my dress.

“No marks that won’t be covered by scrubs,” I pant, but I know that he’s ignoring me. He’s too busy tugging down the top of my dress until my breasts spill out over it. He moans in appreciation before burying his face between them.

“God, I’ve missed these,” he says to my breasts, and I can’t help but giggle. My laughter quickly transforms into moans, however, as he moves to suck one nipple into his mouth. He bites and licks at the sensitive flesh until I’m writhing shamelessly beneath him. When he switches to the other breast, I feel like I’m going to erupt into flames.

“Please,” I beg, though I’m not sure what I’m begging for.

Eventually, he pulls away and looks down at me with a self-satisfied smirk, obviously admiring the marks he’s left against my pale flesh. He then kisses down my body, hiking my dress up so that he can swirl his tongue around my stomach. Ignoring the one place I want him the most, he sucks and bites bruises down the length of one thigh, then up the other.

I’m a complete wreck. My sex is throbbing like never before, aching for the delicious friction Cameron has so far denied it. I can feel my wet panties clinging to me as my juices accumulate. Cameron licks at my slick inner thighs, moaning with pleasure.

“Please,” I sob again, a little more focused on what I want this time. I lift my hips, trying to push myself into his teasing mouth.

When he does kiss me between my legs, it’s so light and gentle, over the lace of my panties, that it’s more of a tease than anything else. Even when he extends his tongue to lick the moisture from my panties, it isn’t enough.

I’m crying now. Tears are streaming down my face as I pant and beg. If I wasn’t ridiculously aware of the healing scar on his scalp, I would have wrapped my fingers in his hair and pulled his mouth down hard against me. As it is, I have to wind my hands in the comforter above my head to keep myself from doing just that.

Finally, after what feels like hours, Cameron slides my panties to the side and gently pushes his tongue between my folds. I moan in pleasure, rolling myself against his mouth. He finally responds to my pleas, thrusting into me with his tongue. His fingers soon replace it, pushing into me as his lips then move slightly up, wrapping around my throbbing, swollen clit and sucking hard. It only takes seconds until the orgasm is ripped out of me, crashing through my body in a pleasure so intense, it’s almost painful. I scream and twist against Cameron’s mouth and hands, but he doesn’t let up until the last pulse of rapture has left my body.

It takes a long time for me to collect my thoughts. When I finally open my eyes, Cameron is still kneeling over me, staring hungrily at my exposed flesh.

“I want to fuck you so bad,” he says, his voice husky and rough with need.

“Do it,” I whisper.

“I plan to,” he says, rubbing his still-clothed cock against my thigh. We groan in unison.

I sit up on one elbow, raising one hand to massage his length, feeling it pulsate through his pants. His hips jerk at the action, spurring me on. Sitting up so that I have both hands, I quickly undo his fly and pull his pants down far enough to allow his angry erection to burst free.

I stroke him a few times, earning a wanton moan from the depths of his throat. Leaning forward, I suck him into my mouth. All too soon I feel him pull me off, however. I smirk, knowing that he’s only doing it because he won’t be able to last very long in my mouth. I can’t help but grin with pride at the knowledge of what I do to him.

“Do you have a condom?” he asks, his eyes begging.

“No… I wasn’t exactly planning on having sex at my mother’s wedding reception,” I groan, pointing at my tiny clutch.

“Me neither,” he whispers.

We stay still for a few seconds, but we both know what’s going to happen. I slide my hand up his throbbing erection, and we throw caution to the wind. He moans and thrusts into my hand, making my body pulse with lust. I’ve never responded like this to a man. I’ve just had an earth-shattering orgasm and I’m still aching for more of him.

Cameron pushes me back against the bed and crawls on top of me. He lifts my hips to align them with his, then thrusts his girthy cock in. I moan at the feel of my body stretching to accommodate all of him. It’s almost too intense after the orgasm I’ve already had, but I push onto him just the same.

I can tell that Cameron’s self-control is just about shot and, at the thrust of my hips, he begins fucking into me, quick and deep. I can barely breathe, he’s pounding me so hard, but it’s absolutely perfect in every way. It’s everything I’ve been trying not to think about for the last few weeks, and my body is pulsing with electricity. I know it won’t take me long to go over the edge, especially sense I’ve already experienced one mind-numbing orgasm in the last half hour.

Soon, Cameron’s hips begin to move erratically and, if possible, he speeds up his thrusts even more. This is all it takes to send me writhing and moaning with pleasure beneath him as he comes at the same time inside me.

As the last of the pleasure washes over us, Cameron falls face first into the mattress beside me. He presses up against me and winds his hands around my body, pulling me close.

“Don’t get too comfortable, buddy,” I say. He just groans in response. “I’m serious, Cam. We’re half-naked in a bedroom we’re not even supposed to be in, while our parents celebrate their wedding downstairs.”

“You make it sound so hot,” he murmurs against my neck.

“It was pretty hot,” I agree. “But I really don’t want us to be discovered like this. And could you imagine what our parents would say if they found out we’d fucked around at their wedding reception?”

Cameron sits up and looks at me with a mischievous grin.

“That reminds me,” he says. “It’s official now—we’re siblings.”

“Eeeww,” I say, burying my face in my hands. “You make it sound so gross.”

“Pervy!” he agrees with a cheeky smile.