Hell Bent (Rock Bottom #1) (26 page)

Yeah, I’m that guy.
I don’t like being that fucking guy.

“That your family?”

The twanging voice of an older man beside me startles me, finally pulling my attention away from Izzy and Dalton. I don’t let it stray for long, afraid that they will disappear before I have a chance to look back.

“I hope so,” I whisper. 

It feels like forever before Izzy looks up from Dalton and searches for me. She seems confused when she finds me standing alone in the middle of the hall, but it may only be in my head.

“I can’t apologize enough for what my wife did to y’all.”

That catches my attention. Turning toward him, I focus solely on what he is saying. “You’re her husband? Your wife did this to us?” I know my voice is growing louder with each word, but I seem to have no control of it.

Holding his hands up, he takes a step back. It isn’t until he’s done that that I realize I have my fists balled up by my hips. I feel someone step up next to me, but I can’t look away from him.

“Listen, kid, I’m the reason you’re standin’ here.”

“How the fuck do you figure?” I growl.

“Bennett.”

Someone grips my arm, but I want his answer more than I want to know who is touching me.

“Bennett.”

“Your
wife
is the reason that I probably just lost my
family
.” I’m yelling at him, but the fact that the fault still falls on me for not keeping him safe is still haunting me.

“For fuck’s sake, Bennett, look at me.” Izzy’s voice finally penetrates my head when she grips my chin and forces me to look at her. “I’m right here—
we’re
right here; you didn’t lose us.”

I hear what she’s saying, but I don’t believe it. Her eyes have always told me the truth, but now they’re telling me lies. Lies I don’t dare to call her out on for fear that she’ll actually tell me the truth. 

Letting go of my arm, Izzy cups the back of Dalton’s head and glares at Cara as the police walk her past us. “If you ever come near my family again, I promise I will make you regret the day you ever gave birth to me.” Taking a deep breath, she turns her attention back to the man in front of us. He looks lost as he watches his wife being led away by police. I guess I would be too if my wife kidnapped someone. “What did you mean when you said that you’re the reason we’re standing here?”

Clearing his throat, he drops back in one of the chairs lining the wall and drags his hand down his face. “I didn’t know anything about you until the day you came to the house, and I doubt Cara would’ve told me anyway, but our daughter told me that some girl had been there that day. She’s been off since then. I can’t put my finger on what was different, but she seemed… distant. If I had known somethin’ like this was goin’ to happen I never would’ve gone out of town this week.” Bouncing back to his feet, he laces his hands behind his head, pacing back and forth in front of us for a minute. “I thought it was a mistake or a friggin’ prank when I got the Amber Alert text yesterday.
My
wife and
my
car. It had to be someone messin’ with me because she would never do anything like that. But when she wouldn’t answer her phone and the kids didn’t know where she was, I got worried and came home early. I called around and found out that she had called my sister and told her that the car broke down and was borrowin’ theirs to get back and forth to work until I got home and could fix it. Luckily, they had that theft trackin’ shit installed in it.”

“You turned in your own wife?”

His eyes collide with Izzy’s before dropping to Dalton. “Damn straight I did. All I had to think about was how I would feel if I was in your shoes and someone had taken one of my kids. I love her, I promise I do, but I don’t know
how
to love her after this. Do I stand beside her, or do I take our kids and live without her?” He shakes his head, not letting us answer him. “It’s not your concern. You probably wish her dead after this anyway. Can’t say I blame you.” He continues to talk as he turns and starts toward the door. It isn’t until he is gone that either of us realize that we never actually got his name or thanked him for turning his wife in and bringing our son back to us. Hopefully we’ll get a chance, but if not, I hope he knows how much it means to us.

I never thought I would be this happy to be cleared to take Dalton home from the hospital. Twenty-four hours later than we had planned, but we’re finally able to bring him home. The doctor decided he wanted to keep him overnight to be sure that he was completely healthy and nothing happened to him while Cara had him. I didn’t let him out of my sight, I couldn’t.
I can’t.
If he is further than arm’s reach away from me, I start to freak out. The only time I actually set him down was when the doctors and nurses made me, but even then I wouldn’t leave his side.

My body wants to crash, but my mind won’t let me sleep, and the longer I’m awake, the more I hate myself. How could I say those things to Bennett? I saw how my words crushed him, but I have no clue how to make it better. I can’t bring myself to tell him that I didn’t mean it; I can’t take back what I’ve already put out there. I’m surprised he stuck around last night, staying through what was probably the most silent, tense night ever. I know he’s looking at me, but every time I get up the nerve to look back or say something, he looks away, and I lose my nerve. I hate that I’ve done this to us.

After we finally get released and make it home, I refuse every one of Bennett’s attempts to help me. I slowly make my way upstairs with Dalton’s car seat in hand and prop him up on the changing table to take him out. Cradling him in my arms, I smile—
truly
smile—for the first time in two days. I smiled when I got him back in my arms last night, but that was more out of relief than anything.

There’s a sway in my hips as I shuffle around the room, showing him all the hard work that his aunt Willow put into getting it ready for him.

“You’re a natural,” Abby whispers from the doorway. There’re tears in her eyes when I turn and smile at her. 

“Hey, I thought you guys went home.”

She nods, her grip tightening on the strap of her purse. “We did, but then I remembered that I had something for you. I brought it with me to the hospital, but when we found out what happened, I held off on giving it to you.”

I lower myself into the rocking chair next to the crib, press my nose to the top of Dalton’s head, and close my eyes. “I think I would’ve died if I didn’t get him back.”

“Don’t, Izzy.”

“Don’t what? Don’t think about the fact that that was an actual possibility? Don’t think about the fact that someone I share DNA with took him from me? What don’t you want me to do? Don’t close my eyes because it might happen again? Yeah, don’t worry about that because I am never letting him out of my sight again.”

Abby snorts and I cock my eyebrow in her direction. “You have to sleep, Izzy. You have to sleep, you have to let him sleep in his bed, and you have to have some alone time with Bennett.” She pauses, looking around. “Where is Bennett?”

My nose begins to tingle as a fresh wave of tears hit me, and I curse under my breath. I hate being emotional. “Who knows?”

Stepping into the room, she drops down on the footstool in front of me. Brushing her hair out of her face, she rests her hand on my knee. “Talk to me, pretty girl.”

“He hates me.”

“Impossible.”

“I told him it was his fault.” I choke on my words, but eventually get them out, grinding the words out through clenched teeth. “I hated him because he told me he would keep us safe and then I hated myself, I still hate myself, because I realized that it wasn’t his fault. It was mine.”

“How so?”

“I couldn’t just accept the fact that you kept her a secret from me to protect me. I had to be an asshole. I had to go find out for myself and I told her what she missed out on. I told her and she used it against me when she saw my name on his tag. If I had just shut up and left things alone, none of this would’ve happened.”

“Izzy, you had every reason to want to find out for yourself. It’s not what you did that caused this. It’s not your fault, it’s not Bennett’s fault. Cara is a bad person. Period. She always has been. Only a truly evil person would take the information you gave her and use it against you like that.”

“I still should have listened to you.”

“But you didn’t. You’re your father’s child; I couldn’t expect anything less. But you need to forgive yourself.”

“How the hell am I supposed to do that, Mom? I can’t take my eyes off him, let alone leave the same room he’s in. I can’t move further than an arm’s length away. He’s going to end up going off to his first day of work with a leash attached to him because I won’t be able to let go. So please tell me exactly how I’m supposed to forgive myself.”

“You just called me Mom.”

“You are,” I tell her honestly. “You always have been. It just took me until now to realize it.”

Reaching into her bag, she pulls out a disk, and I know exactly what it is before I see the note attached to it.

“What you’re going to do is hand me my grandson, watch this, and then fix whatever is broken between you and Bennett.”

“I can’t.” I shake my head adamantly. I can’t walk away from him and let him out of my sight.

“Yes you can. We’ll be right here when you come back. Here’s the bad thing about being an adult—about being a mom. Sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do. This, right here, is one of those times.”

I pout. “I don’t like being a grown up.” 

Pushing to her feet with a smile, she reaches out and takes Dalton from me, obviously knowing that I won’t be able to voluntarily hand him over.

“It’s a little too late to turn back now. Go fix things. We’ll be right here when you’re done.”

Grabbing the disk, I stand up and do the hardest thing in the world: I walk away from Dalton. I know that if I turn around that Abby will force me out and as much as I want to hate her for it, I can’t. I know she’s right. She’s
always
fucking right.

Our bedroom door is only ten feet away from Dalton’s but each step is harder and harder to take. Knowing he’s in the safe hands of someone I would trust my life with helps a little, though. The open bedroom door lets me see Bennett sitting on the edge of the bed before I’m in the room. He wrings his hands in his lap as he stares absentmindedly out the balcony door.

Instead of starting out by fixing things with Bennett, I head for the DVD player and insert the disk. I want to turn around and curl up in his arms, but I can only guess how upset he is with me. Backing up, I ease down on the end of the bed and read the note on the case before pressing play on the remote.

So if you’re watching this it means I’m a granddad. That makes you a mother. I’m not sure how I feel about that. Not that you won’t make a good mother, you’ll be the best, but it means you’re an adult, and I’m not sure I like that idea.

If you’re watching this it means that you either forgave me for the lies I told you, or you’re watching it so you can bitch about how much of an asshole I am. Either way, thanks for pressing play. Something you should know, since I doubt you finished the birthday video, is that the only other people that knew were Abby and your grandparents. But don’t hate them, Izzy. Don’t hate anyone. It’s not worth it.