Heller’s Decision (24 page)

“Now you can stop worrying about Bick and
me.”

“You do like him a lot though, don’t
you?”

“Of course I do. He’s very likeable.”

“You like Farrell a lot too, don’t you?”

Dangerous territory. “Yes. Farrell’s a
great guy. I’ve said that before.”

“What were you talking about back in the
security section?”

I rolled my eyes. “God, Heller, are you
going to keep asking me that every time I talk to him? Because it’s
getting real old, real fast.”

“Just tell me.”

“
He was asking me if I was okay. There!
That’s the whole story and now you know it. And I really don’t
understand why, if you don’t trust him, you seem to be making him
part of your team with Clive more and more.”

He threw me a
n enigmatic glance, then returned his eyes to the
road ahead. “Who said I don’t trust him with most
things?”

“
Just not with me, right?” I asked,
becoming rather snappy.

“
Right. Don’t think I haven’t noticed he
still has feelings for you
, no matter how hard he tries to hide them.”

“I think you’re imagining things.” But I knew
he was only speaking the truth.

“
If anything ever happened to me, would you
go to him?”

“
What do you mean ‘go’ to him?
He’s already at the
Warehouse.”

“
Don’t pretend to be obtuse, Matilda. I
meant would you be lovers with him again? Let him look after
you?”

“
I don’t know what to say to you, Heller,”
I told him honestly. “Firstly, nothing’s going to happen to you.
And secondly, I don’t need ‘looking after’. I can look after
myself. I’m an adult, not a child.”

He smiled and said lightly, “I notice you
didn’t comment on the lovers part of my question.”

“What would be the point? If I said no, you
wouldn’t believe me. And if I said yes, you’d probably beat him up
again.”

“I think you’ve told me everything with that
answer.”

“I think I’ve told you nothing with that
answer, because I’ve never considered the question before. I don’t
want anything to ever happen to you.”

He smiled again and reached over to
squeeze one of my hands. “Now
that’s
the correct answer I was seeking.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so
silly sometimes.”

He raised his eyebrows. “That’s not something
I’m called very often.”

“Well, you just are.” I leaned over and
kissed his cheek.

We found Barb and Roger
smiling
, and looking
surprisingly relaxed in casual clothes while they planned out their
next few days as tourists in the city. Heller filled them in on
Bick’s condition and they assured him that after a good night’s
rest, they were now even more determined to keep fighting against
companies such as PRON. I admired their fighting spirit and their
dedication to their cause.

We
stayed with them for a while, consuming two cups of coffee
each before finally saying goodbye. Though we discussed the
previous evening, we all skirted around the uncomfortable topic of
the fate of the PRON men. At the door, the couple shook Heller’s
hand and thanked me again for arranging the interview with Trent,
but I couldn’t help think they were as glad to see the back of us
as we were of them.

Heller took me to a restaurant for lunch,
a rare outing for us as a ‘couple’. The eyes of every woman in the
place tracked him across the room as we were shown to our table.
While we ate, there seemed to be an endless stream of women using
the facilities, necessitating a walk past our table. I noticed a
couple of them going back and forth a few times. Unless they had a
problem with their bladders, I thought they were violating the
rules of sisterhood by ogling another woman’s man while she was
present.

“
Don’t you get tired of it?” I asked
Heller, a little cranky at the unwanted attention.

“Tired of what, my sweet?”

“People, women, staring at you all the
time.”

“Do people stare at me?” he asked with mock
innocence.

“
You know they do, Heller, so don’t pretend
you don’t. They do it all the time.”
I rested my chin on my palm and assessed him. “I
stared at you too when we first met.”

“I didn’t notice. I was too busy staring at
you.”

I smiled. “That’s so sweet.”

“
Y
es, you were quite a sight with blood running from your
nose accompanied by a spreading bruise. Who wouldn’t
stare?”

“
Heller! I thought you were being
sweet.”

He smiled and took my hand in his. “You’re
the one who’s sweet in the relationship, Matilda, not me.” He
checked his watch. “Now, hurry up and finish your lunch. I have
many things to do this afternoon.”

He paid the bill and we strolled back to
his Mercedes, hand in hand. I hoped he enjoyed these happy little
snippets of non-sexual time we spent together as much I did. They
didn’t happen very often.

On our way bac
k to the Warehouse, Trent rang. “Are you enjoying
your sick day?”

“
Of course not. I’m sick,” I croaked,
coughing unconvincingly a few times.

He laughed. “Has anyone ever told you
you’re a terrible actor?”

“
Yes, frequently.”

“
I can believe it. I’ve seen you in that
cereal ad.”

“That wasn’t me,” I denied automatically.

“
Stop lying. It was clearly
you.”

“
Please don’t tell me it’s back on TV
again.”

“
Afraid so. Saw it last night.
Your acting in it was cornier
than a bag of popcorn.”

“Did you ring for any reason except to insult
my sterling work as a thespian?”

“Why, yes I did, young madam, yes I did. I
want to make sure you’ll be at work tomorrow. I have a new research
job for you.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow,” he sing-sang in a
teasing way.

“Trent,” I complained.

“Bye, Tilly.” He disconnected.

I hated it when a boss did that to me. And
I guess in that respect, though not much else, Trent was a lot like
Heller.

Chapter 16

I took advantage of
my free afternoon to hang with Daniel and
Niq, because I hadn’t missed their plaintive glances at me lately
as I rushed around between work and Heller. We played some pool,
Niq thrashing us by miles as Daniel and I slowly became plonked on
wine together.

Later in the hot tub, Niq confessed he’d
met a girl in his online game
and had shared some fairly personal details about himself
with her, including about his past.

“Niq!” I exploded. “How do you know that this
‘girl’ isn’t some predatory forty-year-old man?”

He shrunk back against my strong reaction,
his voice a little hesitant,
“She told me she was fifteen. She sent me a picture of
herself.”

“
Niq sweetie, it’s the
internet
. People can say whatever they want about
themselves! A predator could have sent you a picture of his
daughter. You know better than to trust a stranger. Heller will be
furious with you.”

His eyes shined, but it wasn’t with
happiness.
“I didn’t
mean to do anything wrong. I just wanted a friend. She was so nice
to me. She
likes
me.”

And before I could say another word,
h
e clambered out of the
hot tub, grabbed a towel and, not even waiting to dry off, rushed
through the door down the stairs.

“
Tilly, that was a little harsh,” Daniel
admonished gently. “You’ve upset him.”

“
Oh, God,” I said, dismayed. “I didn’t mean
to. I just . . .”

Daniel stood. “I’ll go see him.”

I touched his shoulder to stop him.
“No, I will. I’m the one who
screwed this up badly.”

I quickly dried off, threw on some clothes
over my bikini and made my way to Daniel’s flat where I felt pretty
sure I’d find Niq. He spent most of his spare time there, even
slee
ping in Daniel’s
second bedroom when he wasn’t in the office doing schoolwork. I
tried the handle and found the door unlocked, so stepped
through.

Niq sa
t on the lounge in his still-wet clothes, not looking at
anything, the towel in a puddle on the floor, his face a study of
misery. A couple of stray tears trickled down his
cheeks.

“
I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to
raise my voice at you or sound so harsh.” I sat next to him and
slid my arm around his thin shoulders, drawing him to me. He heaved
a shuddery breath. “It’s just that I love you so much that I worry
about you and I want you to be safe.”

“You sound like Heller,” he mumbled.

“I guess I do.” And I wasn’t sure that was a
good thing. “We both love you and want to protect you.”

“
But you’re the one who always tells us
that we can’t live our lives not trusting anyone like Heller does,”
he sniffed.

“That’s true – I do say that and I mean it. I
suppose to you I sound inconsistent.”

The door opened again and Heller stepped
through. He sat down on the other side of Niq and took one of his
hands in his. Daniel must have rung him and told him what had
happened.

“
Niq, my sweet boy. Everything Matilda said
was right, but she could have expressed herself better.” He shot me
a
loaded look over the
top of Niq’s head, only making me feel worse.

Niq gave a watery snort. “I just wanted a
friend, Heller. She seemed so nice and told me she really liked
me.”

Heller thought for a moment. “I know. What
if you give me this girl’s screen-name in that game and I’ll run a
check on her? There’s a lot of information I can find out about her
from just her screen-name, including her age and
gender.”

“
Heller!” I interrupted, shocked. “That
means people can find out information about Niq.”

His eyes pitied me. “Not everybody can do
it, Matilda. Just those with my . . . expertise.” He returned to
Niq. “If this girl checks out, you may continue to talk to her. If
not, you’ll have nothing more to do with her. Deal?”

Niq
looked up at Heller, his pale blue eyes even bigger than
usual as he thought through the offer. Heller’s face softened
looking down at him, reaching a hand up to cup Niq’s cheek. Unlike
most fifteen-year-old boys, Niq didn’t pull away, but leaned into
Heller’s hand. I always found it so touching how much affection
Heller shared with his small ‘family’. But, I wished I knew if he
thought of me as part of that family or not.

“Deal.”

Heller smiled and kissed Niq on the
forehead. “Good. All settled then. Email me her screen-name so I
can pass it on to Sid. And now, maybe you can help Matilda make us
all dinner.”

“
What?” I moaned. “Why me?”

“Who’s the one who had the day off?”

“
Oh boy!” I complained standing up and
taking Niq’s hand. “Don’t you know I was sick? You’re a real piece
of work, Heller.”

“But you still love me anyway,” he said with
a confident smirk.

“I do, but I don’t know why sometimes.” I
leaned over to kiss him.

“
Will you two just knock off all that
smoochie stuff,” said Niq. “It’s disgusting and
nauseating.”

“
Tell me when you stop thinking
that,”
smiled Heller.
“Because then we’ll need to have the second ‘special
talk’.”

“
What
’s that one about?”

“The mysterious world of women.”

I rolled my eyes.
“Honestly, we’re not that mysterious, Niq.
We’re just a little more complex in nature than the simple
creatures that are men.”

Heller laughed. “Do you think I’m a simple
creature, my sweet?”

“
God no! But then I don’t think you’re
human, so you’re probably not technically a man.”

“
Very droll, Matilda.
Anyway, as much as I’d love to discuss
gender politics all day, I still have work to get through,” he
dismissed, leaving.

I considered Niq. “I guess we do too, Niq.
Let’s go to the pantry.”

“But you’re not supposed to –”

I held my index finger to my lips. “Shh.
Heller said to make dinner, but I can’t using my food because I
haven’t got any.”

He shrugged. “Makes sense to me. Let’s go to
the pantry.”

We had a fun evening all together again,
and I think Clive might even have cracked a smile in my direction
once at some wine-fuelled thing I said. But it may have been a
snarl of contempt – it was too hard to tell in the rooftop
lighting.

Sid enthused – at length – about a new
purchase they’d acquired for their pornography collection after a
fierce auction bidding war. I held my hands over Niq’s ears
repeatedly as he did, annoying him so much he stormed off to play
his online game. I yelled out after him to remember to give Heller
his online buddy’s screen-name.

“
I
know
,
Tilly. Geez!” he said, simultaneously rolling his eyes and throwing
back his head to show his extreme disdain for my nagging. “You’d
think I was old and had no memory, like you people.”