Her Baby's Bodyguard (16 page)

Nor would an innocent, vulnerable young woman, fresh from a sheltered existence in academia and still grieving for her father…

How could she have believed that she’d once loved that monster?

Eva didn’t want to keep this reminder of her mistake a moment longer. She shoved the disk across the table to Shires, wiped her hand on her pant leg and stood.

The meeting was over. The final bridge was burned.

It was time to get on with her life.

Chapter 9

E
va was feeling light-headed when she walked back to her quarters from dinner. She hadn’t been able to eat more than a few bites. Whether her lack of appetite was from relief or fatigue, she didn’t have the chance to figure out because the moment she turned down the final corridor she spotted Jack leaning against her door.

She had to blink to make sure she wasn’t imagining him. She had been sure that he’d already left the ship, yet here he was, large as life, his arms folded on his chest and one ankle crossed comfortably over the other, as if he’d been waiting for some time. He turned his head at the sound of her footsteps, then straightened and smiled. “Hello, Eva.”

She had to stifle the urge to run to him. She would have thought her emotions would be stabilizing by now. The effect that Jack had on her should be fading, too. She had no excuse to seek his arms. His mission was over.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t drink in the sight of him as she walked closer. Oh, he looked better than any man should. He’d shaved, so there was no longer any beard stubble to blur the strong lines of his jaw. The clothes he’d worn for the past three days were gone, and he wore a clean set of fatigues. As she drew nearer, she caught the faint tang of soap and shampoo. His smile was making the laugh lines crinkle around his eyes and a dimple peek out beside his mouth.

Images flashed through her mind. Jack watching her in the moonlight, tense and unsmiling. Jack running down the road toward her with Katya strapped to his chest. And Jack cradling her face in his hands as he leaned down to kiss her.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“Fine, thanks. And you?”

“Okay. Did you get something to eat?”

She looked at his mouth, and she remembered how he had tasted. She wasn’t in danger any longer. Her accelerating pulse wasn’t due to adrenaline. Yet she still wanted to feel his lips on hers. “Yes. The CIA agents saw to that.”

“So the feds are treating you all right?”

“They’re going through with our deal. I gave them the disk.”

He studied her. “And you feel okay about it?”

“Definitely. They seem like decent people.” She pressed her cheek to Katya’s head. “We’re leaving for Washington tomorrow.”

“That’s great.”

“Yes, it’s the start of our new life. What about you, Jack? Where do you go from here?”

He lifted one shoulder. “We’re hitching a ride to the nearest base tonight. From there we’ll work our way back to Bragg.”

“Where’s that?”

“Fort Bragg’s in North Carolina. It’s not that far from DC. Maybe we can keep in touch.”

Oh, yes. Please. Touch me.
Eva saw his eyes darken. God, could she have said that aloud? He was just being polite. They were back in the real world, and this was a normal conversation. She had to control her emotions. “Yes, perhaps we could.”

He leaned to the side so he could see Katya’s face. “Looks like the squirt’s asleep.”

“It’s been a long day for her.”

“Yeah. Eva, I—”

“Jack, why are—”

They had spoken at the same time. There was an awkward silence. She hated it. After the intense days and nights they had shared, how could there be awkwardness between them? As if they were strangers?

He reached into the pocket of his pants. “I wanted to return these to you,” he said, extending his hand to her.

She looked down. He had Katya’s mittens on his palm. Against his large hand, they looked impossibly small.

“They were in my coat pocket,” he said. “I’d forgotten I’d put them there while we were on the helicopter.”

Another image blurred through her mind, one of Jack smiling as he let Katya grasp his finger.

“I know she doesn’t keep them on that well,” he said, “but I thought she might need them later.”

The thought came out of nowhere. Why couldn’t
he
have been Katya’s father? Jack was everything that Burian wasn’t. He was tender, considerate and protective. Why couldn’t she have fallen in love with a man like Jack?

Eva slammed that mental door before she could examine the thought more closely. Jack had just been doing his job. How many times did she need to remind herself of that? She pressed her lips together so they wouldn’t tremble as she took the mittens from his hand.

He closed his fingers over hers before she could draw away. “Are you really all right, Eva?”

The contact stole her breath, even though it was only their hands. He’d held her hand countless times already. This shouldn’t be affecting her. “Of course. Why shouldn’t I be? I’m getting everything I wanted.” She tugged free and opened the door to the room she’d been given. She could feel the pressure of tears again, but she was determined to maintain her dignity so she averted her face. He’d seen her at her worst too often. “Excuse me. I need to put Katya to bed.”

He followed her inside without waiting for an invitation, as if they were old friends, or maybe lovers….

She had to stop thinking like this or she was going to make a complete fool of herself.

There wasn’t much space in the cabin, only enough room for a bed on one side and a small desk and set of drawers on the other, so he stayed by the door. She could feel his gaze on her as she laid Katya in the center of the bed and changed her diaper.

“You sure make that look easy,” he said. “The guys and I took about a half hour.”

“It’s a matter of practice. My first attempts were probably no better than yours, and I had the advantage of books.”

“Books?”

“Child care. I ordered dozens when I learned I was pregnant. I spent all my spare time studying how to be a mother.” She used a rolled-up blanket as a bolster to keep Katya in place as she finished cleaning up. Once she assured herself Katya would remain asleep, she switched on the desk lamp and angled it so it wouldn’t shine on the bed. She gestured to Jack to flick off the overhead light, then turned her back to take the documents Shires had given her from the waistband of her pants.

“What’s that?” he asked.

She set the papers on the desk. “The CIA people put their promises in writing.”

“That’s impressive. They must really want what you have.” His voice held a smile. “And I see you still haven’t broken the habit of hiding things under your clothes.”

She smoothed her shirt over her stomach self-consciously. “My hands were full with Katya. I had no other way to carry the papers.”

“It’s good you’re not using that carrier for the kid. Your wound—”

“Is fine,” she interrupted. “I already was examined by one of the doctors at the ship’s infirmary. I carried my daughter in my arms because I wanted to hold her, that’s all. Sometimes I just need to do that. She’s too young to understand my words, but I’m sure she can feel the love in my touch. She needs love just as much as she needs warm clothes and a full stomach.” She stopped short when she saw the odd look on his face.

“I bet you never learned that part from books,” he said.

“I didn’t have to learn to love Katya. It just happened.”

“She’s a lucky kid.” He slipped his hands into his pockets and leaned his shoulders back against the door. “These navy guys should have found you a bigger cabin. Or brought in an extra cot. Where are you going to sleep?”

“I can share the bed with Katya.” She waved her hand in front of her. “It’s only one night. Though I appreciate your concern, you don’t need to worry about me any longer. I’m not your responsibility.”

“I know that.”

“Still, I am glad that I got the chance to see you again, Jack. I wanted to thank you for everything you did. I know words are inadequate, considering the danger you put yourself in for me, but I do want you to know how very grateful I am.”

“I don’t need your gratitude. It was my job, Eva.”

“Yes, I’m fully aware of that. Please, tell the rest of the team that I appreciate their efforts, as well. You mentioned you’re leaving tonight?”

“That’s right.”

“Then I imagine you must be eager to get going.”

He looked from her to Katya. “Sure. I don’t like staying in one place for long.”

“Of course. Like your great-great something grandfather. If there was a riverboat, you’d be on it.”

“Damn straight.”

“And you must be eager to get started on your next mission. More danger and excitement.”

“You bet.”

“Lots of gunfire and exploding grenades and jumping out of trucks.”

“Only if we’re lucky.”

She took a step forward and held out her hand. “Well, goodbye, Jack.”

He hesitated and then pushed away from the door and clasped her fingers. “Do you really want me to leave, Eva?”

She gave her hand a tug, but this time he held on. “Why are you asking me that? You said you’re scheduled to move out tonight.”

“That’s tonight. I meant now. Do you want me to leave you alone?”

No, I want you to stay with me, with us. I don’t want our time to end. Ever.

She had to lie. It would be best if she did. But he was standing close enough for her to feel the warmth from his body and catch the scent that rose from his skin. She was finding it more difficult by the second to form any kind of thought. “You said you only wanted to bring back Katya’s mittens.”

He bent his head to look at their joined hands. “That’s what I tried to tell myself, but it’s not the only reason I tracked you down.”

“No?”

“I needed to see you again. To make sure you were all right.”

“Well, you’ve done that. We’re fine.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “That’s great.”

“Thank you. I appreciate—”

“Will you quit saying that?”

“What?”

“I don’t deserve your gratitude, Eva.”

“Of course you do.”

He moved his head in a slow negative. “The truth is, what I really want to do right now is kiss you.”

That’s all he had to say, and her knees went weak. She swayed.

“Eva?” Jack released her hand and steadied her by the hips.

“You explained that to me already, Jack. What happened…in that tower was due to the circumstances. It was a temporary attraction.”

“It didn’t feel temporary. It felt damn good.”

She put her hands on his chest. Through his shirt, she could feel the warmth of his skin. She imagined she could sense the beat of his heart, too. Or was it her own pulse? “But the mission’s over.”

“Exactly. That’s the real reason I’m here.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It’s over, so that means I’m no longer a soldier who’s duty-bound to protect you.”

“Jack…”

He tipped up her chin with his index finger. There was no smile around his eyes now. His expression was intense as he searched her face. “I’m just a man who wants to kiss you.”

Like the last time, Eva could have moved away. Jack would never force her to do anything. If she’d exerted the least amount of pressure on his chest, she was sure he would have released her and stepped back. It would be the sensible thing to do. Nothing could come of this, other than making saying goodbye even more difficult.

There were other thoughts, too. More protests from the cautious, logical part of her brain. As before, she didn’t listen to any of them. Unlike the last time, though, she didn’t wait for Jack to move first. She slid her hand to the back of his head, lifted on her toes and pressed her mouth to his.

This was what she’d needed, more than food, more than sleep. The feel of Jack’s lips on hers, the taste of his mouth, the warmth of his breath, swept away her caution. There wasn’t room for anything else.

Jack slid his fingers into her hair, holding her head steady as he deepened the kiss. She opened her mouth eagerly to take all that he would give her. Heat flowed to every intimate part of her body. And as the kiss went on, needs that had merely stirred the last time started to blossom.

It felt so simple, so right. Why had she tried to resist? He’d said he was just a man who wanted to kiss her. So for now, why couldn’t she be just a woman who wanted him?

And she did want him. More than she could have dreamed.

She pressed closer. Her nipples tingled and hardened at the first contact with his chest. Pressure built in her breasts, but it wasn’t from milk. It was from arousal. It had been so long. How could she have forgotten how good this felt?

Because it had never felt this good with Burian, she realized. Even being fully clothed, doing nothing but kissing, was sheer delight because this was Jack. She smiled against his mouth, looped her arms behind his neck and rubbed her nipples against his chest.

A groan rumbled through Jack’s throat. He backed her the few steps to the desk and lifted her so she was sitting on the edge. He cupped her breasts through her shirt.

Pleasure crashed over her, pure and mind-numbing. She gasped.

“Sorry,” he murmured, withdrawing his hands. “I know you’re nursing. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t. It’s just…” She grabbed his wrists and returned his hands to her breasts. “They’re very sensitive.”

“Sore?”

“Not sore. Just the opposite. Really…”

He smiled. “Sensitive,” he repeated, rotating the heels of his hands.

Her eyes half closed. “Mmm.”

“Then it’s okay for me to do this?” he asked, squeezing gently.

She could barely breathe. His caress felt so good. She nodded.

“What about this?” He stroked the undersides with his thumbs.

In reply, she reached for her buttons. She laughed when she saw her hands were too unsteady to manage them. “You’ll need to help me, Jack.”

He parted her shirt before she’d finished her request. It hit the floor, along with her nursing bra. Then he leaned over and pressed his face to the valley between her breasts. “I’ve wanted to do this for the longest time,” he murmured. “You’re so beautiful, Eva.”