Her Black Tiger (Alaskan Tigers Book 11) (12 page)

T
wo weeks
after coming to Alaska, Brooklynn still wasn’t any more confident in her ability to lead the Shifter Peace Keepers team than she had been before she arrived. Daily, she worked out with the guards, training so she could stand against a shifter. What did she have to show for it? Bruises and sore muscles. She was no closer to taking on a shifter and surviving than she had been before. Her trainer, Styx, put her on edge. There was something about him that screamed he was deadly. She didn’t know his past, but the way he moved warned her that she wouldn’t want to meet him in a dark alley. They were both on the same side, so she tried to subdue her cop senses from sending her running in the opposite direction. Carran trusted him and so did everyone else. She had to rely on that.

She tossed her towel over the rod and turned to reach for the robe hanging on the hook next to the door. Instead, her hand brushed against hair and warm skin. A squeal escaped her lips as she tried to pull the towel back down and wrap it around her.

“It’s me, baby.” Carran lifted her up and into his arms before she could stop him. “I finished early and heard the water shut off.”

“Damn you, you scared me.” She looped her arms around his neck.

“You were lost in your thoughts or you’d have felt me coming.” He strolled out of the bathroom and headed for their bedroom.

She still couldn’t believe she was sharing a bedroom with a man she barely knew who’d already claimed her heart. In a little over a week, he had stolen her heart and altered her perspective, replacing it with a family he considered his own, and more love than she’d ever known. In her heart she knew this was where she belonged, and her father would have been happy she’d found people like this to surround herself with.

“Get dressed.”

“Why?” she asked as he lowered her onto the bed. “If you’re done for the day…”

“I am and that’s what I planned, but I want to take you somewhere first. Just trust me and get dressed. I’ll wait in the living room so I won’t be tempted any more than I already am by your beautiful naked body.”

“Let me tempt you.” She grabbed hold of his belt and kept him from moving away.

“Baby, you have no idea what you do to me.”

“Then let me find out.”

He seemed to debate it for a moment before sighing. “Soon. First there is something you should know.” He pulled back, forcing her to let him go, and walked out of their bedroom.

Dressing quickly, she wondered what was so important that he was determined to have her know now instead of waiting until later. What happened that made him pause when he had planned to take her to bed and have his way with her? She laced up her shoes and headed out.

In the living room, she expected to find Carran alone, but he had just opened the door, letting Ty, Tabitha, Felix, Styx, and a woman she’d never met before inside. “What the hell?”

“It’s better to do this here,” Carran told her before shutting the door. “Let’s go to the kitchen table, that way everyone can have a seat.”

She stood there stunned as Carran led the way around the sofa and chair that made up their living room furniture and toward the kitchen. Being left out of something never made her at ease and having them file into her home, clearly aware of something she wasn’t, didn’t put her at ease.

“You okay?” Tabitha stayed behind as Styx and Ty followed Carran. Felix stood a step behind her, acting as the perfect guard.

“Just fine. I love being caught off guard by the man I’m…mated to, telling me there is something I should know, then coming out to find everyone here.” She stumbled over the word
mated
because it still didn’t seem to flow off the tongue, yet dating wasn’t correct either. The human side of her brain wasn’t sure what to call what was happening between them.
Shacked up
came to mind too often, but she didn’t care for that term to describe the intimacy between them.

“You’re concerned about Styx and that’s what we’re here to eliminate. He’s on our side.”

“I know.” She glanced at the man in question before turning back to Tabitha. “Years as an officer makes it’s hard to shut off my instincts. Something about him—”

“Tells you I’m a criminal?” Styx interrupted. “Don’t worry, Brooklynn. You’re not the first one to think that and you won’t be the last. Because that’s what I am, or what I was. The blood that coated my hands is thicker than any mass murderer behind bars.”

She took a step back, slamming into the wall, knocking down a framed picture. “Don’t…don’t tell me that.”

“Before Styx came to the Alaskan Tigers, he was an assassin for his former Alpha. It wasn’t the life he would have chosen for himself, but a life he was forced into because of circumstances.” The other woman placed her hand on Styx’s forearm, squeezing it gently.

“This is Mira, Styx’s mate,” Tabitha explained.

“What justified reason could anyone have for being an assassin?” Brooklynn’s gaze traveled from Tabitha to Styx, before landing once again on Mira. “To steal someone’s life…” Her words trailed off and she leaned against the wall. Wasn’t that what happened in Pittsburgh? Carran and Red killed to save her. In her pervious life, she wouldn’t have seen justification for it, but now she knew there was more to the story than she’d first thought. Was it the same with Styx?

“I was a pre-teen when the training started. They broke me so they could build me into the man they wanted me to be, the assassin they needed.” Styx paused and placed his hand on Mira’s. “I didn’t know any other life. I took to the life to survive and I was good at what I did. I’m not proud of the fact that I have more kills than any other assassin, but it does keep the Elders safe. I’m not a sociopath. There was never a desire to kill. I didn’t become an assassin to find an easy way to get away with murder. I was led astray by someone I trusted. Lies led me to kill because I thought I was saving the world from a scumbag.”

“You did it for—” Mira began, but Styx turned quickly to her, his eyes wide.

“Don’t.” That one word came out like a growl.

“Tell them the whole story,” she pressed. “Say it aloud to more than just me and your Alpha.”

“Go ahead Styx. Tell Brooklynn,” Tabitha encouraged. “It won’t just help her understand your past, but it will also help you move beyond it. Finding Mira has done a lot to help you accept your past, but hiding the reason you’ve become who you are only hurts you further. We’re family here and within our family, judgement is put aside. Carran and Felix know you and trust you. Ty and I wouldn’t have you as an Elder guard if we didn’t have confidence in you.”

Silence filled the room as they waited to see if Styx would tell his story. Mira sat next to him, her hand still on his and she moved his chair closer to his so their bodies were pressed together. Brooklynn watched them, admiring the way Mira looked at Styx with such love. Even with the turmoil clouding his eyes, he returned those glances. There was no doubt there was deep adoration between the two of them. Before, it might have surprised Brooklynn, but now she seemed to accept it. Everyone deserved to have someone, and Styx was obviously paying for the past he had to live with, at least emotionally. He had turned his life around and was putting his stills to work for a better cause.

What am I thinking? I’m a cop and now I’m approving of an assassin because he turned his life around?
What happened to black or white judgment? Guilty or innocent? Styx couldn’t be both. But then she’d have to paint Carran and everyone else in this room with that same brush. She wasn’t willing to convict Carran on killing Donovick, not when he had saved her life and Meghan and Randy from living with an abusive man.

“Our lives weren’t…” Styx stumbled over his choice of words before continuing. “Normal. We grew up on the streets, fending for ourselves, and maybe that was why my sister rebelled. Sasha was a wild child, but things got worse when we were in New York. Something about the city made her want to give in to that wild behavior and it got her into some deep shit. There was a group of underground shifters, not one animal group, more like rebels joined together to survive. Sasha started hanging around with them, even began to experiment with drugs. Because of the beast within, things don’t affect us the same way as humans, so she was doing more and more of the drugs, trying to seek that high she so badly wanted. It became expensive quickly and she couldn’t pay the shifter she owed money to. He was the leader of the group and threatened to kill her if she didn’t pay up.”

“Styx offered to work off her debt in exchange for Sasha’s life,” Mira continued, as if knowing her mate couldn’t finish the story. “As her older brother, he believed it was his job to watch out for her. To protect her.”

“In the end, I failed.” Styx’s voice was strained as he stared down at his lap.

“You didn’t fail,” Mira reassured him. “He didn’t know what he was getting himself into when he agreed to work off her debt. It started small with guard duties and some minor unwanted tasks, but nothing he couldn’t handle. He thought he was getting off easy. Sasha was clean, but that only lasted a few weeks. When she started doing drugs again, that’s when things changed. No longer was he satisfied with what Styx was doing, and he received his first target. If Styx had refused, Sasha’s life would be forfeited. To ensure that the hit was complete, Sasha was held hostage so Styx couldn’t try to take her and run away.”

“You became an assassin to save your sister.” Brooklynn took in the man before her. The lengths he was willing to go to protect his sister was unimaginable to her. Even after everything they put her through, she loved her family, but she wasn’t sure she could take someone’s life to save them. Maybe in the middle of unbelievable circumstances, things would be different.

“I’d have done anything to protect Sasha. I’d have given my life.”

“When Sasha died, he embraced the job because of his anger. He hoped that eliminating another scumbag would help him move past his own grief, but it didn’t. Instead, he buried it deep within.” Mira snuggled closer to Styx.

“They killed her anyway?” Brooklynn asked.

“She was to be mated to a tiger worse than any they’d met before and she couldn’t face the life with him.”

“Her mate was my next hit.” Styx growled. “I was out hunting him when she took her own life. She left me a fucking note explaining that she’d rather be dead than trapped with him. If only I had known that was her destiny, I could have saved her. I could have told her he’d be dead before he could lay a paw on her. But after everything that happened, everything I did, I couldn’t close the distance separating us. Sasha pushed me away and everything I did only made us grow further apart. The gap between us grew until we stopped confiding in each other. That was when we doomed ourselves.”

“I’m sorry.” Brooklynn stepped away from the wall and crossed the room to join the others at the table. “Without hesitation, you went to great lengths to try to protect your sister. For some of us, it takes longer to figure out what we’re made of.”

“What do you mean?” Carran pulled out the chair in front of where he was standing, offering it to her.

“That night at the safe house, when you came to me because I was screaming in my sleep…” She went to him, but didn’t sit. “I was dreaming about the day my father was killed. It’s the same dream I’ve had throughout the years, but this time something was different. I’ve always been a witness, never actually playing a role in the dream. This time I reached to my gun belt and my gun was there. I killed the man who killed my father.”

“It was a dream.”

“It was, but it wasn’t. It made me realize that I would have killed him if I had been given the chance.” She paused, trying to formulate the words in her mind before she continued. “When Donovick attacked me in the SUV, I reached for my weapon. I wanted to kill him and I would have if I was given the chance.”

“Fight or flight. Fight was your only option, and it’s a natural reaction.” Carran took her hand in his and pulled her closer. “Don’t blame yourself for that.”

“I don’t.” She wanted to turn back and look at everyone else, to see if they were judging her, but she kept her gaze on Carran. “When we cornered Ambrose, I had my gun out, but I’d have never shot. It was something I always knew. Each day I went out but I wouldn’t shoot someone, even if my life depended on it. Do you know why? Because I didn’t want another family to suffer what mine went through.”

“But if you were killed, your family would go through it again.” Carran glanced at Tabitha, as if trying to make sure she was hearing this. She could feel his concern, and knew it related to sending her out on a Shifter Peace Keepers mission.

“I didn’t have what I have now. My mother and sister…we barely talk. It’s been months since I heard from them, even after I called to let them know I had left Pittsburgh and came here. No one cared. Now things have changed. I started to realize that when Donovick attacked, but it hit home after that dream. I’d fight to live now and I’d kill for what I believe in.” She turned toward Styx. “It surprises the cop within me, but I agree with what you did. You embraced what you had to do, to try to save someone you cared about. There is nothing wrong with that. Yes, I hope that you didn’t leave behind families like mine in your wake. But that’s the past. You’re making amends by using your skills for good now. I’m honored to learn from you and hopefully you can teach me what I need to know so that I make it back from each mission.”

“You’re one of us now.” Mira gave her a bright smile before glancing at him. “Styx will make sure you’re prepared.”

“Not just me.” Brooklynn glanced at Ty and Tabitha. “You told me if I accepted the position that I could pick the team I would work with. While I do want a say in that, I’m going to rely on judgment from you, Carran, Styx, and anyone else who can help me. You’ve worked with them longer than I have and know their strengths and weaknesses better. When they are chosen, I want Styx to help train them. I understand it’s an inconvenience because he has his Elder guard duties as well, but if we’re going to be prepared to handle what we’ll face out there and be ready, then we need him.”