Her Brother's Keeper (8 page)

C
harlotte stared out the bedroom window and watched Isaac walk toward the barn. She'd been looking forward to their date on Saturday, but any excitement she'd had was suspended. She'd known that Ethan had hanged himself, but hearing Lena say it and being witness to Hannah's hysteria had left Charlotte in a funk.

Hannah had apologized for her outburst two more times and seemed to want to talk, but Charlotte had stayed to herself the past couple of days. Hannah might be ready to share information about Ethan, but Charlotte wasn't sure she was ready to hear it now. Instead, she found herself recalling parts of her past that were best forgotten.

Their parents had spent the majority of Ethan's and Charlotte's childhood fighting. Their father eventually landed in jail for assaulting their mother, but after that,
it was their mother who took over the beatings, and after one too many times, Charlotte had called the police, something she wouldn't have done if she could have foreseen the consequences. She had no idea where her mother was these days. And she didn't care.

Charlotte's phone call had resulted in Ethan and her being separated for nearly two years. She recalled the foster home where the fire had started, and a shiver ran up her spine—but only partly from recollections of the fire. She and Ethan never talked about those two years apart, and she'd always wondered if Ethan's foster home had been anything like the one she'd been in. She wondered if Ethan had hidden things in an empty mothball box in the closet like they'd done when they lived at home. Their mother had insisted they keep a box of mothballs in the closet, but she wouldn't even touch the boxes, saying the smell made her gag. Charlotte and Ethan had always trashed the mothballs and stored anything they didn't want her to see in the empty boxes. It wasn't until she was older that Charlotte realized that mothballs were toxic. Luckily, neither she nor Ethan had ever eaten one.

She stuffed the painful memories back in the dark part of her brain and walked downstairs. The aroma of freshly baked bread was too much to resist. She walked into the kitchen just as Hannah was taking two loaves from the oven. Lena had gone to the auction to see about purchasing more goats, and Amos and Jacob were doing whatever they did out in the fields. They came in
each night smelling of hay and manure. Charlotte was thankful they both bathed before dinner—
supper,
she reminded herself.

Charlotte breathed in the smell of what had become her most favorite food in the world, then she walked to the window, just in time to catch a glimpse of Isaac leaving in his buggy.

“Are you excited about your date?” Hannah placed the loaves of bread on the cooling rack.

Hannah's tone was clipped. Clearly, Cousin Hannah wasn't in the mood to apologize anymore. Charlotte shrugged. “I guess.”

Hannah leaned against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. “You will only be here for three more weeks, so I hope you won't lead Isaac on. He's a very nice man, and I'd hate to see him get hurt.” Hannah raised her chin in a way that reminded Charlotte of a hair-pulling incident she'd had on the playground one time. This was a side of Hannah that Charlotte hadn't seen before.

Charlotte stuffed her hands in the pockets of her black apron as she raised an eyebrow. “Maybe. Your mother said I should extend my stay.” Even though there was no way she would stay here any longer than she needed to, she was just irritated enough to meet Hannah on the playground. “We might hit it off. You never know.”

Then Hannah spoke to her in Dutch, all the while wagging her finger and frowning. Charlotte recalled the
story she'd made up during worship service. She had lucked out the past couple of days during meals. Jacob had done most of the talking, in English, about a space documentary that was coming on television next week. His parents were refusing to let him go to a friend's house to watch it even though he was in his running-around period, or
rumschpringe
, as they called it.

Charlotte knew she had a deer-in-the-headlights look, but she was trying to organize her thoughts before she just blurted something.

“Who are you, Mary Troyer?” Hannah took a step closer to her. “You did not understand anything I just said, and it wonders me why that might be.”

Think, think. Be careful. Get it straight.
She hung her head for a few moments, before she sat down in a kitchen chair and lowered her palms to the table in front of her. “I'm so sorry I've been deceitful.” This was going to require the best acting she'd ever done. Normally, she despised lying. “I'm-I'm just embarrassed. I became Amish late in life, and by the time I was welcomed into my Amish family, I had a hard time latching on to the dialect. So everyone made an effort to help me out by using English around me.”

Then Charlotte told Hannah the part of the story that was actually true, how her parents were abusive, but she omitted the part about having a brother or about being in foster care. She wasn't sure how much Ethan had shared with Hannah, and she feared Hannah might
make the connection. “I just couldn't take it anymore, so I left. I knew my great-aunt had married an Amish man, so I ran away to their house in Texas. They took me in, and I was baptized into the faith when I was nineteen.”

Hannah slipped into the chair across from Charlotte, her eyes round as saucers, and reached for Charlotte's hands. “
Ach, mei
cousin. Why didn't you tell us? How awful for you.” Hannah shook her head. “I feel badly that so much of the time, you couldn't understand what we were saying. I am so ashamed for testing you.”

“It's okay.” Charlotte pushed the truths about her past from her mind, hoping she'd be able to keep all her lies straight.

“Nee, nee.
It is not okay.” Hannah kept her hands on Charlotte's as she spoke. “Someone very close to me was also abused by his parents, and then later at the hands of his
Englisch
caretakers. It was heartbreaking to hear him talk of his stay with strangers. Foster care, he called it.” She paused, sighed. “And it's a shame that this kind of thing happens everywhere. Even here.” Hannah paused again, a faraway look in her eyes. She blinked a few times, pulled her hands away, and leaned back against the chair. “He died almost a year ago.
Mamm
said she told you what happened. But before that, he said that coming here and learning about the Lord saved him.” She smiled. “He used to say that I completed him, a line from one of his favorite movies, which of course I'd never seen. His name was Ethan, and he also became Amish late in life.”

Saved him? He killed himself.
Charlotte was surprised that Ethan had told Hannah about those two years, since he'd never talked to Charlotte about it. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know the details, but she'd always wondered. “I'm sorry about your friend. Was he . . .” She took a deep breath. “Was he, um . . . badly abused?”

Hannah nodded, and Charlotte swallowed back the knot forming in her throat.

“Ya
. He was.” Hannah looked away as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I think
Mamm
told you . . . he was my fiancé. We were to be married.”

Charlotte was anxious, yet relieved, that Hannah didn't share the details about Ethan's time in foster care. “I'm-I'm sorry.” She waited to see if Hannah would tell her about Ethan's death, but they were both quiet. Finally, Charlotte stood up. “If it's okay with you, I think I'd like to go lay down for a while.” She wasn't tired, but she didn't want to burst into tears.

Hannah jumped from her chair, hurried around the table, and threw her arms around Charlotte. “I'm so sorry. So sorry that someone hurt you. Thank you for sharing that with me.” She eased away and wiped the tears from her cheeks with both hands. “I feel so much closer to you now. And I know how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family. I don't want to take it for granted. Ethan always said we were the family he'd never had.”

Charlotte doubted that was true.
I was his family.

“We couldn't wait to be married. I still miss him.”
She buried her head on Charlotte's shoulder, and Charlotte slowly wrapped her arms around Hannah, but only because it seemed awkward not to. She was starting to like Hannah, but she didn't want to get any closer to her than necessary. Charlotte had loved and lost plenty of times. No need to add Hannah to that list. And she still felt uneasy about Ethan's fiancée and hadn't been able to mentally clear Hannah from having something to do with his death.

All the tears in the world couldn't bring Ethan back. He might have had a hard childhood, but so had Charlotte. Before coming here, he'd had a good job as a roofer, a nice apartment, and lots of friends. It was his job that brought him to Pennsylvania in the first place. The company he worked for had won a bid to put a new roof on a church in Lancaster County following a storm that had caused some structural damages to several buildings. Charlotte had known about it, but she could have never predicted that he would end up staying. Someone needed to take the blame for Ethan's death, and Hannah would have to sit in the guilty seat until Charlotte could prove her innocent. Otherwise, the loss was more than Charlotte could bear.

Hannah sat down on her bed after a cool bath, and as her wet hair lay against the back of her white nightgown,
she closed her eyes and welcomed the breeze coming through the screen in her room. After a few moments, she laid back and closed her eyes.

Lord, I'm lifting up Mary with extra prayers tonight, for peace and healing. I also ask, Lord, for You to forgive me for not being kinder to Mary.
Mei
cousin has been through
baremlich
times in her life, and I cannot put right in my mind how a mother or father can hurt their own
kinner. Aamen.

Hannah recalled the awful stories that Ethan had told her before he died. And to learn that Mary was also harmed at the hands of her own family . . . it was just so sad. She wanted to do something nice for Mary, to bring some joy into her life, and maybe by doing so, she could bring a small amount of happiness into her own heart. In the strangest way, she felt like Ethan was encouraging her to befriend her new cousin. She smiled, feeling comforted.

At times, Mary seemed familiar to her. Nothing Hannah could put her finger on, just a sense that maybe she'd known her from somewhere. That was impossible, but she was going to take it as a sign that she and Mary were growing closer, and for that, Hannah was grateful.

She turned up the lantern on her bedside table and pulled her knitting supplies from the bottom drawer. It would take her a couple of hours to finish the fourth potholder in the set, but she wanted Mary to have them. Hannah had been making these for her home, the one
she would have shared with Ethan. Two were solid red in the shape of a heart, and two were red and pink, also shaped like hearts. She hadn't worked on finishing the last one since Ethan's death. It would feel good to give Mary the set to take home with her.

Charlotte squeezed her eyes closed and tensed as she told Ryan about her date with Isaac, even though there was no reason it should be awkward. “You know, it's just to try to get information. It's not really like a
date
.”

“It kinda sounds like a date.”

Charlotte frowned, even though she could picture Ryan grinning. “Well, it's not, I assure you.” It was still early in the evening, and she could hear activity down the hall, so she lowered her voice. “It wouldn't matter how good-looking this guy was, or how charming he might turn out to be, I certainly couldn't live the way these people do.” She dabbed at the sweat on her forehead.

“Ah-ha. So, he's a handsome fellow.” Ryan chuckled. “We just never know who might step into our lives from one day to the next. Maybe this has been God's plan for you all along, to hook up with a nice Amish man.”