Her Cowboy's Christmas Wish (Harlequin American Romance) (10 page)

Muscles clenched, nerves strung tight, he lowered himself onto the bronc’s back. Placing his feet in the stirrups, he pointed his toes. Next, he checked the reins and tugged the brim of his hat low over his eyes. When he was satisfied, he whispered a silent prayer to his mother.

One last shift in the saddle, and he uttered the word that could possibly give him back the life he’d lost.

“Go!”

The gate opened. Batteries Included charged into the arena, his powerful body rocking forward and backward with enough strength to jar Ethan’s teeth loose.

Acting on pure instinct, he marked the horse. Hand raised over his head, he leaned back in the saddle and found his rhythm.

Time slowed. He heard the roar of air rushing into his expanding lungs, the creak of leather stretching and bending, his bones grinding together, someone hollering his name. He slipped once, righted himself and dug his heels into the horse above the shoulders, urging him to buck higher and harder.

From nowhere, the buzzer sounded.

Ethan’s heart exploded. He’d done it!

The pickup men materialized beside him. With a strong arm, the nearest one hauled Ethan out of the saddle and deposited him on the ground. The crowd applauded. Ethan readjusted his hat, dusted off his jeans and began striding across the arena to the gate, his glance repeatedly darting to the scoreboard. Finally, the numbers changed and the announcer’s voice blared from the speakers.

“That’ll be an 83 for Ethan Powell.”

Applause followed. Not wild applause. Ethan had done well enough, though he wouldn’t place in the top three. Possibly the top six if he was very, very lucky. Still, it was a decent score for a man with a prosthesis.

Stop thinking like that!

“Good ride.” Micky sidled up beside him.

“Not bad.”

“You’ve done worse.”

He had. In professional rodeos before he’d enlisted. He’d also done better. A lot better.

“You going to try bull riding again?”

“Probably not.” Ethan knew his limits.

“Bareback?”

He’d considered it. Without stirrups he might have even more trouble maintaining his balance. Then again, he might have less. “Soon, I’m thinking.”

“Glad to hear it.” Micky left to join the other bull riders.

Ethan’s buddies congratulated him as he made his way to the pens. Like Micky, they didn’t go overboard with their praise. He’d finished, and that was worth acknowledging. Not, he’d finished, and that was an unbelievable accomplishment.

He liked being treated the same as anyone else.

His enjoyment was cut short when the audience gasped loudly. A young man lay prone on the ground. While the pickup men went after the loose horse, wranglers streamed into the arena, surrounding the fallen rider.

The next instant, Caitlin was running pell-mell across the arena, her shoes sinking into the soft dirt. She pushed her way through the wranglers and dropped to the ground, examining the man with expert hands. Not long after, she assisted him to a sitting position, then to his feet. Cheers rose as he limped toward the gate, Caitlin holding his elbow on one side and a wrangler on the other. The announcer wished him well and promised the audience an update on his condition before the jackpot was over.

Returning to work after that was hard for Ethan. He kept thinking about the young man as he supervised the transfer of stock from pens to chutes. News soon spread that the rider
had sprained his back. Ethan could easily imagine Caitlin recommending the young man see his regular doctor, and him insisting he was all right. Just as Ethan had done.

He was glad the rider had sprained rather than broken his back. Not only because the injury was less severe. If he’d been driven to the hospital in an ambulance, there would be no convincing Caitlin bronc riding was only moderately dangerous.

Yeah, moderately.

Why was he trying so hard to sway her when she’d insisted there was no chance in hell they’d resume their relationship?

But there had been that hug before he’d competed, and the one at Thanksgiving.

No matter how much she denied it, she liked him. Possibly even loved him, deep down.

He couldn’t give up on them.

Two hours later, the Duvall Rodeo Arena’s first jackpot came to a close. A brief ceremony followed, and the top three contestants for each event received their belt buckles and winnings. Ethan applauded along with everyone else. He’d rather have been part of the ceremony with Micky and the others.

Soon, he assured himself.

He hung around as long as possible, supervising the wranglers as they returned the remaining livestock to the paddocks and pastures. Every now and then his gaze wandered to the first-aid station. When he saw Caitlin loading up her minivan, he made an excuse to the men and hurried over.

“Need help carrying anything?”

She spun around, nearly dropping the tower of plastic bins in her arms. “Thanks. I’ve got it.”

Not the warm welcome he’d been anticipating after their hug.

“Did you see my ride?” Stupid question. She’d been watching from the bleachers.

“I did.” She loaded the plastic bins into her van. “Congratulations. You must be pleased.”

“I am.”

“Are you celebrating tonight?”

“Hadn’t thought of it.” He immediately warmed to the idea. “You free? We could have dinner.”

She exhaled wearily. “It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted. I’m sure you are, too.”

Not really. If anything, he was energized. Had been since his ride.

“Sure. No problem.” He hesitated, searching for a reason to stay. “When are you coming out to the ranch next?”

“I’m glad you asked.” She brightened, noticeably relieved at the change of topic. “Next Saturday, if that’s okay with you.”

“Great.”

“Any chance we can take the wagon to the park for a test drive? I’d like to experiment with a couple different routes. See which one works best.”

“Call me.”

No dinner. And a full week before he saw her again. No physical-therapy sessions, either.

So far, this plan he had with Justin to go after his sister was a complete and total bust.

“Good night, Ethan. Congratulations again.” She got in her van and left.

As he walked back to the holding pens for a final inspection, he decided he didn’t much like being treated the same as every other guy out there.

He much preferred to be special, after all, at least where Caitlin Carmichael was concerned.

Caitlin waited at the entrance to the park, shielding her eyes from the brilliant morning sun. She could just make out the wagon with its team of two horses plodding along Mustang Valley’s main road at a gentle pace. Vehicles going in both directions slowed at the unusual procession, their drivers used to yielding the right-of-way to horses.

The wagon carried two passengers besides Ethan. Cassie and Isa sat with him on the bench seat, their excited chatter reaching Caitlin’s ears from a half block away. Musical tones blended with the girls’ voices, and it took Caitlin a moment to recognize the source.

Jingle bells hanging from the harnesses! Ethan must have added them after Caitlin and her crew had finished decorating.

How nice of him.

Guilt needled her with pointy barbs. For the past week, ever since the rodeo jackpot, she’d purposefully avoided Ethan, speaking to him only once midweek to firm up their plans to drive the wagon route before the Holly Days Festival. Evidently he’d gotten her message loud and clear, because he hadn’t attempted to contact her, either.

Caitlin should be relieved. Happy, even. Instead, she jumped every time her cell phone rang or the clinic buzzer heralded the arrival of a patient.

This morning was no exception. Her insides fluttered annoyingly at the sight of Ethan’s broad shoulders and tall physique, and her palms leaked perspiration.

She wiped them on her jeans, then waved. Only the girls returned her greeting. Was Ethan angry with her for turning down his dinner invitation? As the wagon drew nearer, she noticed Gavin sitting in the bed on a bale of hay and holding on to the sidewall.

Good. More passengers. She’d been a wreck for days, uncertain how she would handle being alone with Ethan. As it turned out, her obsessing had been a complete waste of time.

The horses’ clip-clopping hooves on the pavement, the girls’ lively chatter and the ringing of jingle bells combined to create a merry cacophony. Caitlin stepped out from her spot beneath an ironwood tree as Ethan expertly turned the horses into the park entrance.

“Whoa, there!” He pulled back on the long reins, and the wagon came to a creaky stop.

Caitlin walked over and gasped softly. “The lights are on!” She hadn’t noticed their multicolored flickering in the bright sunlight.

“We’re testing the electrical system.” Gavin climbed out of the wagon bed, using the rear wheel spokes like a ladder to reach the ground.

Vehicles continued to pass them in a slow procession, the drivers honking or waving. A pickup truck didn’t drive past but parked behind the wagon. Caitlin recognized the woman at the wheel. Sage must have followed to prevent potential tailgaters from creeping too close.

The truck door opened and she emerged. “Morning, Caitlin!”

“How are you?”

The two women met up near the wagon. Caitlin liked
Gavin’s fiancée and their daughters. Another time and place, she and Sage might have become good friends.

Why not now?
a voice inside her asked.
Surely not because of Ethan.

Avoiding Ethan’s family on the off chance he might show up did seem ridiculous. What was the worst that could happen?

Plenty. One smoky glance from him, one caress of his lips on her skin, and she’d be all over him.

Not going to happen, and four co-passengers were the perfect deterrent.

“Come on, girls,” Gavin said, climbing out of the wagon. “Let’s get a move on.”

“You’re leaving?”

Caitlin wasn’t the only one protesting.

“Aw, Dad, please. Can’t we stay with Uncle Ethan?”

Yes, can’t they stay?

“We have an appointment,” Sage reminded them in a motherly voice. She pulled Caitlin to her for a quick hug. “Maybe after the holidays we can meet for coffee or lunch.”

“That would be nice,” she mumbled, releasing Sage reluctantly.

The girls continued to whine.

“Tomorrow afternoon I’ll take the two of you for another ride,” Ethan said. “How’s that?”

“Really?” Isa clapped her hands.

“Will you teach me to drive?” Cassie asked.

“Yes and yes.”

He helped the girls down off the wagon seat into Gavin’s outstretched arms, Isa first, then Cassie. They both kissed Ethan’s cheek before being lowered, their slim, girlish arms circling his neck.

“Thanks, Uncle Ethan.”

“I love you, Uncle Ethan.”

“Love you, too, kiddos.”

Watching them, Caitlin felt her racing heart slow, then turn to mush. He was incredibly good with the girls, and they seemed to adore him. It had never occurred to her what a terrific father he’d make.

“All aboard!” Gavin beckoned her to the front of the wagon.

“Me?”

“You are riding with Ethan, aren’t you?”

She pasted a brave smile on her face. “I am.”

“Well, let’s do it. Unless you can climb into this wagon by yourself.”

Caitlin might be taller than the girls, but she wasn’t nearly as nimble. She needed help. Mentally measuring the distance from the ground to the wagon seat, she decided she might need wings.

The footrest was on the same level as her chest. No way could she lift her leg that high.

“Are you kidding me?” She gaped at Gavin.

“Right foot here.” He patted one of the wheel spokes. “Left foot here.” He tapped the footrest. “Then swing yourself up into the seat.”

He made it sound so easy.

The horses chose that moment to shift restlessly, causing the wagon to rock.

Caitlin instinctively drew back. “I can’t.”

“You’ll be fine,” Ethan said. “The brake’s on.”

She wavered, angry at herself. She’d done this before. Granted, that was years ago, when she’d have walked through fire to be with Ethan.

“Okay, okay.” She lifted her foot as instructed and placed it on the wheel spoke. Then nothing. Gravity had a hold on her and wouldn’t let go.

“Here.”

She glanced at Ethan. He’d placed the reins in his left hand and was holding his right one out to her. It was large and strong and appeared more than capable of hauling her safely up into the seat.

“Hang on.” Gavin gave her a boost.

She rose up, her left foot automatically seeking purchase. Before she quite knew what was happening, Ethan caught her by the forearm and yanked. Her world tilted crazily. Then she was seated beside him, and everything returned to its proper place.

It had been like that before, when they were young. He had only to touch her, hold her, and all was right once more.

“It’s high up here.” Higher than she remembered. Her fingers gripped the thin and unreassuring metal armrest. “No seat belts, huh?” She laughed nervously.

“I don’t remember you being so afraid of horses.”

She hadn’t been, only since Justin’s accident. She hadn’t been afraid of fast cars, roller coasters, bungee jumping or heights before then, either.

“I haven’t ridden for years.”

“We should go one day. Get you used to horses again.”

“Get me used to the wagon first. Then we’ll see about horses.”

“One step at a time.” Before she could wonder if he was really talking about them, he said, “Molly and Dolly are the two calmest horses on the ranch next to Chico. I wouldn’t take you or anyone for a drive if I thought for one second we’d have a runaway.”

Runaway! Why had he mentioned that? “How reliable is that brake?”

She immediately imagined the horses galloping hell-bent for election through the park like in those old black-and-white Westerns she used to watch as a kid.

As it turned out, she’d panicked for nothing. The horses,
under Ethan’s careful guidance, traveled along at a sedate walk. After several minutes, Caitlin started breathing again. Before long, she relaxed enough to appreciate the advantages her elevated position offered. She had a clear view of the workers erecting the miniature Santa’s workshop and the obedience trials under way in the dog park across the expansive green. In the far distance, Pinnacle Peak, with its distinctive silhouette, reached skyward as if to capture the sun.

“How beautiful.”

Ethan smiled, and they drove for a while in companionable silence.

Eventually, Caitlin pulled a map of the park from her pocket. “I figured we’d have the wagon pickup and drop-off station near the picnic area, next to the Santa’s workshop.”

He grunted approvingly.

“We could set up a table here—” she tapped the map “—and take donations for the mustang sanctuary. Pass out literature if you have any.”

He grunted again.

“Do you think Cassie would be willing to dress in an elf costume and be one of Santa’s helpers?”

“Probably.”

When he said no more, Caitlin continued examining the map and the routes she’d sketched out. “What do you think about this one?” She angled the map for him to see.

He grumbled instead of grunting.

Fine. He was keeping conversation to a minimum. That suited her, as well. Folding the map, she returned it to her pocket, sat back and kept quiet.

For two full minutes.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

“Not at all.”

“I’m sorry about refusing your dinner invitation last Saturday. I figured it was better if we—”

“You’re not going to give me the let’s-be-friends speech, are you?”

Her cheeks burned. That was exactly what she’d been planning. “No. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Because I won’t be friends with you.”

That stung.

“I want more.”

“More?” Her voice sounded small.

“Much more.”

Oh, dear.

“Look at me, Caitlin.”

She did, tensing as his smoldering gaze raked over her.

“Don’t expect me to make small talk with you when what I really want is to make love.”

“I’
M SORRY
.” C
AITLIN SUCKED
in air, then released it in a shuddering breath.

“Don’t be. I’m not propositioning you, simply stating a fact.”

She and Ethan were no strangers to intimacy. They had been each other’s firsts, consummating their love shortly after high school graduation. The night had been one of the scariest of her life, and the most memorable. Scary for Ethan, too. Revealing his true feelings had endeared him to her and broken down the last of her defenses. When she gave herself to him, it was without reservation and without regrets.

Magic had happened that night and for many nights afterward. Making love with Ethan had been extraordinary. Fulfilling, satisfying and fun. But physical pleasure—and there had been a lot of it—was never more important than their emotional connection, which only grew stronger the longer they were together.

Yet another reason why his abrupt enlistment in the marines had devastated her. How could he have loved her so completely and so thoroughly and then abandoned her like that?

The horses plodded along the side street circling the park, the sleigh bells chiming in rhythm to the cadence of their hooves.

Seconds ticked by, then minutes.

“Was there anybody after me?” Caitlin was shocked at her own audacity.

Ethan answered without pause. “I dated some in the marines.”

“No one special?”

“No one I fell in love with.” He clucked to Molly and Dolly, who had stopped at the sight of an elderly couple walking a shaggy terrier.

“What about since your discharge?”

“Haven’t had the time.”

Was that true? Or did the loss of his leg have something to do with it?

Justin had been painfully shy around girls as a teenager, frequently becoming tongue-tied. After his accident, he’d refused to even be alone in the same room with someone of the opposite sex.

Not anymore, Caitlin mused, remembering him and Tamiko together.

When had Justin changed? And what had prompted it?

“How about you?” Ethan’s sidelong glance gave nothing away. “Date much?”

“Not hardly at all until after college. Caring for Justin took up most of my free time. And then there was homework and work-study programs. I met someone a few years ago.”

“Tell me about him.”

He wasn’t you
. The thought came from nowhere and traveled straight to her chest, where it curled around her heart.

Caitlin averted her head to hide the tears that sprang unbidden to her eyes.

“We went out for about two years,” she said when she’d composed herself. “Then it just kind of fizzled. No big fight. No drama. We parted friends.”

“Too bad.”

What she didn’t tell Ethan was that her boyfriend had wanted to marry her, and had repeatedly proposed. Caitlin couldn’t bring herself to take the next step—because of Ethan or Justin or both, she really wasn’t sure. Eventually, her boyfriend grew tired of waiting. There’d been no one since, not even a casual date. Which also meant that Ethan’s kiss at the rodeo arena was her first one in years.

“I thought maybe we’d have the wagon rides on Friday and Saturday nights only,” she said. “From six to nine.” The small talk sounded trite after such a personal conversation. “Is that too long? I don’t want to tire the horses.”

“I’ll have two teams. One for each night.”

“Will you take the other team out for a test run, too?”

“Tomorrow. With the girls. Want to come along?” He studied her face intently.

Were there tearstains on her cheeks? She instinctively touched them. Dry, thank goodness.

“I, um, promised Mom I’d go Christmas shopping with her.”

If she didn’t already have a legitimate excuse, she would have manufactured one. Her resistance to him was at an all-time low. It would be so easy to say she didn’t care about his bronc riding, scoot closer and rest her head on his shoulder.

“You having Christmas Day at your place?” he asked.

“Oh, gosh, no!”

“Condo too small?”

“That, and too empty.”

“Still moving in?”

“I’ve been waiting to see if I’m…”
staying in Mustang Valley
“…keeping the condo. I don’t have one Christmas decoration up or one card displayed. Mom and Dad are having dinner at their house. My aunt and uncle and cousin are driving up from Green Valley. Some friends from Dad’s work will also be there.”

“You’ll have fun.”