Her Father, My Master: Enthralled (14 page)

Since we didn't have any play
sessions in the evening, I took to accelerating my courses.  I asked Mr.
Hendricks if I could enroll in more classes, and he acquiesced, depositing
money in my college account so I could take as many as I wanted.  I buried
myself in my studies, and I found one subject in particular becoming more and
more interesting, a subject I never would have guessed I'd be interested in,
before college – art history.  Realistically, I knew I wouldn't be able to find
a great job as an art history major, but I found myself taking as many courses
as I could, learning about everything from the greats like da Vinci and
Picasso, to the somewhat lesser known artists such as Balla and Braque.  It was
a way for me to escape, and I sorely needed an escape.

Mr. Hendricks humored my interest,
too.  I never changed my major either.  I wasn't stupid.  I needed a marketable
major, if I was going to get a decent job.

A job.

It was hard for me to fathom that I
would need one.  There was a part of me that hoped that this arrangement could
last forever.  Even with the tension in the house, I loved being around my
master.  I wanted to be around him.  I wanted to see him and hear him, smell
him and taste him and feel him in every way possible.  I didn't want to leave.

And yet I did want to leave.  It
was a confusing set of emotions, to say the least.

When February turned to March, we
attempted some play sessions, but they felt awkward and forced.  I want to
please him, but I could tell he just wasn't into the play.  It wasn't working.

And then Spring Break rolled
around.  It began starting the first weekend of March, and I was lucky enough
that Maddie's break was at the same time as UVA's.  Otherwise, Mr. Hendricks
would have had to stuff me in some motel during the interim.  It was difficult,
our arrangement.  But it was worth it.

But we both needed a break.  We
needed to get some distance between that strange session we had weeks ago, and
it was impossible when we saw each other every day.

I left Friday night.  Normally, I
would have tried to stay as long as I could, but this break was different.  I
needed to get out of there.

My clothes still felt odd and itchy
on my back.  I'd grown to dislike wearing clothes, just as a personal
preference.  But of course, I had to wear them around my parents.  I smirked at
the thought of prancing nude through their house.  My mom especially would be
mortified, and mortifying her would be utterly amusing, to me.  But I did need
a place to stay over the break, and it wouldn't do to get myself kicked out of
their house after less than a day.

I refreshed my memory on my fake
life in college, my new friends, and my new fake boyfriend.  I'd made things
semi-official with that Craig character Mr. Hendricks made up, though he told
me we would break it off before summer, so my parents wouldn't press too hard
to meet the fictional man.

It was difficult, remembering
everything.  It was like I was reading a dossier on a completely different
person.  I felt a pang of envy for that person that didn't exist, and would
never exist.  It was a path I could have taken, but I didn't.  I went this way,
instead.

But I couldn't change the path I
was on, not now.  I climbed into my sedan with my usual bag of clothes and my
laptop.  We would get a break from each other.  One week.  I hoped it would be
enough.

I began to miss him almost
immediately.  It was so strange, being so eager to get away, yet also missing
him.  I knew it wasn't my master that I wanted to get away from, it was merely
the situation, but it was hard to separate the two in my mind.

My phone buzzed as I drove to my
parents' house, and my eyes widened when I saw who it was.  It was Jess, my old
high school friend.  We'd stayed in touch via Facebook and chats, and I'd done
the same with Ash and Sophie as well, but we hadn't gotten the chance to hang
out in person since last summer.  I realized how much I missed them, when I saw
the caller ID.

I picked up.

“Hey Jess!  How's it going?” I said
brightly, my spirits already lifting.

“Not bad, how are things for you?”

“They're good.  Really good in
fact.  I'm acing my courses.”

I laughed as I heard her raspberry
into the phone.  “You suck!  How are you doing it?”

I shrugged, though I knew she
couldn't see my shrug.  “Just studying, really.  College actually seems a lot
easier than high school.”

“Tell me about it.  No parents on
your back, for starters.”

“Yeah, a lot more freedom.”  I
smiled, knowing what a lie that was for me.  If anything, I had every bit of
freedom given up, and given up willingly.

“So, it's your first Spring Break,
what are you going to do?” Jess asked, and I could envision the devilish sparkle
in her eyes.

“I have no idea.  I was just
planning on sitting around the house and watching TV,” I replied dryly.

“No way!  I haven't seen you in
months, and we have to get some good partying in.”

I knew that was coming, but still,
I felt nervous.  It'd been so long since I'd interacted with other people, and
I wasn't sure how I'd react.  I'd never even been to a bar, and I hadn't been
in a crowd since last summer.  But it was something I felt I needed to do.  “Of
course,” I said.  “I really want to hang out with you again.  And Ash.  And
Sophie.”

“Not Maddie?” Jess asked jokingly.

“Never.  Fuck that bitch.  Is she
still messing around with Joey?”

“I have no idea.  Her relationship
status on Facebook is 'it's complicated.'”

“Good, she deserves it.”

We talked a bit longer, mostly
about our classes.  I was probably far too enthusiastic about art history, and
little too sparse on the social aspects for Jess' taste, but I didn't care. 
And I didn't want to slip up by speaking lies. 

We set up a time to meet up, too,
in a couple of days.  Apparently Jess had some friends at a local community
college, and she wanted to crash some parties there.  This college didn't go on
Spring Break until the week after ours, so the entire student body would still
be there.

I hung up feeling refreshed, and
invigorated.  This was what I needed.  This was exactly what I needed.

I didn't need my parents being
nosy, however.  My mom seemed especially inquisitive about my college life thus
far, so I threw her a bone quickly with Craig.

“When do we get to meet this
Craig?” she asked before I could even unpack.  I shrugged, shouldering my bag
and tucking my laptop under my arm as I trekked up the stairs.

“I dunno.  He lives near Virginia
Beach, so probably not until summer vacation.”  That was safe, and perfectly
planned.  Mr. Hendricks thought of everything.

“Oh?  Where near Virginia Beach
does he live?” my mom continued to grill me.  But I was prepared for this.

“Yorktown,” I said airily.  “His
dad worked in the Coast Guard, and they retired there.”

“Ah, that's interesting.  Is he
going for the military, himself?”

“I don't know.  I haven't asked
him.  I think he wants to be a veterinarian, actually.”

“Oh, that's good!  Does he like
animals?”

“Loves 'em.  I gotta unpack, mom.” 
Thankfully, she took the hint and left me alone, though I knew she'd be back
for more nuggets of my personal life all too soon.  I already found myself sick
of it.  It was all lies.  And it felt far too easy to get trapped in a lie.

*****

Two days later, and I was in the
car with Jess and Sophie, on my way to my first ever college party.  Ash was
still taking classes – she went to a college that had Spring Break two weeks
later than us, much to her chagrin.  She told me especially to drink enough
booze for her.  I was nervous about that.

I was nervous about all of it.  I'd
never been to a party like this before.  Sure, I'd been to high school parties,
but those seemed tame in comparison to the things I saw happen in movies and
reality TV shows.  People drank so much they blacked out, did drugs, had crazy
sex all over the place, and who knows what else.  It seemed like these parties
epitomized the loss of control, and control was the last thing I wanted to
lose.

I took a deep breath, as Jess
drove.  She'd bought her own car for college, and it was a beat up old Civic,
even older and uglier than my car, but it was cheap.  I took another breath. 
As long as I didn't overdo anything, I would be fine.  Not too much alcohol, no
drugs.  And watch my drink.  Sophie warned me about that.  I didn't want to get
roofied at my very first party.

“Are you nervous?” Jess asked with
a smirk.  Her flaming red hair was pulled back in a bushy pony tail, and she
was wearing a slinky green top and jeans.  She looked amazing.

I sunk down in my seat.  The silky
blue top I picked slid against my skin, reminding me that I was not only
clothed, but completely out of my element.  “No,” I replied, trying to feel
confident.  The only thing I really felt confident about was my body.  All that
exercise I'd done over the past few weeks had paid off.

She laughed.  “Come on, you're in a
sorority.  They party all over the place.”

“I know, but I try to keep my nose
out of that.”

Jess eyed me skeptically.  “You've
become a real book worm, you know.  Is something the matter?”

“Not at all!  I just want to focus
on my studies,” I said lamely.  That was something a real nerd would say.

Thankfully, Sophie saved me.  She
was always a bit of a book worm, herself.  “There's nothing wrong with wanting
to do well in college,” she said.  “After all, we're
paying
for school
now.  Don't you want to get the most out of your money?”

Jess scowled and shrugged, her
hands draped casually over the steering wheel.  “I guess, but I went to college
to party.”

“Fucking expensive party, then,” I
muttered, crossing my arms.  I suddenly didn't want to be here.  Jess was so...
immature.  Like a high schooler.  I flushed.  I was the same age as her.  I
shouldn't be such a stick in the mud.  I sat up in the car seat, determined to
have a good time.  I needed this experience.  It might be scary, but all new
experiences were.  I would do it, and I would enjoy it.

“I think I see our goal,” Jess said
and pointed ahead with one finger.  I stared into the dark, and immediately saw
what she was pointing out.  There was a huge house on the street with all the
lights on.  Music was blaring and there were people in varying stages of
drunkenness on the on the front lawn.  Even as far away as we were, I could
hear the thump of base and the screams of excited party-goers.  This was it.

The street was packed with cars,
but Jess expertly maneuvered her tiny Civic into a spot that seemed far too
small for her, fairly close to the house.  As we exited the little car, I could
feel myself shaking.  I was nervous, and it was really beginning to show, so I
did the only thing I could think to do.  I took a deep breath, and let the
calmness wash over me.

That helped a little bit, but
anxiety still boiled underneath my calm veneer.  A big part of me just wanted
to get this over with, so I could go home.  I knew this wasn't the right
attitude to have.  I watched Jess and Sophie, watched them laugh and skirt
around a stumbling drunk guy as I followed them.  This was supposed to be my
element, but because of the diverging path I took, I couldn't feel more out of
place at this party.  I was always one of those girls that easily fit it, but
now I felt like a fish out of water.  It was like I'd forgotten how to be
social.

I awkwardly followed behind my two
friends, and we stepped inside the packed house.  Jess and Sophie snaked their
way through the crowd, honing in on the keg like laser guided missiles, and I
could barely keep up with them.

“Remember, always pour your own
drink!” Sophie yelled at me over the crowd.

“Okay!”

I don't know how they knew where it
was, but the keg was in the kitchen, surrounded by a bunch of frat boys wearing
khakis and popped collars, with frosted hair.  They looked like boy band
rejects, and they eyed all three of us as we approached the alcohol.

“What have we here?” one of the
guys grinned as he sauntered up to us.  My eyes darted around.  I felt scared. 
Almost reflexively, I brought my hand up to finger my collar.  I had to
remember that no matter what, I belonged to my master.  I couldn't get too
drunk tonight.  I couldn't make a mistake.

“None of your business,” Jess
replied smartly and elbow her way past him, snatching three Solo cups from the
stack and pouring the entire group a drink, one by one.

“Here,” she said, thrusting the cup
of beer in my hand.  I'd had beer before, of course, and I didn't care for the
taste.  I looked in the cup at the pale, straw colored liquid, and drank it
down.  It tasted vaguely like urine, but I didn't care.  I needed to get at
least a little buzzed, if I was going to survive the night.

The three of us all chugged a
couple of cups, and then exited the kitchen with a third.  The frat boys were
starting to get on our nerves.  They were all hitting on us, and I could tell
that not even Jess was comfortable with it, much less Sophie or me.  They were
loud, and they were drunk.  Maybe it would have been a different story if we
were as drunk as them, but I wasn't planning on getting to that point.

We headed for the backyard through
the french doors in the dining room, and for the first time I took a really
good look around.  This wasn't just some standard college house – this was a
really big, fancy place.  I wondered who lived here, and how they could
possibly afford it.  And what the neighbors thought.  I cracked a half-smile as
I realized that this place was probably going to get tons of noise complaints
tonight.

I stuck to Jess and Sophie like
glue as they wandered through the expansive backyard.  There was a pool there,
and some of the college kids were swimming around in it, in various states of
undress.  No one was actually wearing a swim suit.  I shivered just looking at
them.  The night was brisk, so how could they take that water?