Her Forever Cowboy (15 page)

“What brand do you want to start with?” he asked.

“Is the Triple T in there?” she asked, knowing that was the Turner Ranch's brand.

“Right here.” He pulled it from the batch and handed it to her.

“Then that's it, in honor of you thinking of this and also for getting me out of a bind.”

“I really love that idea,” he said, his eyes twinkling as he mimicked the way she'd said the words.

She liked the teasing side of him. “Where is Cole and what have you done with him?” she asked.

He reached for a brand, his smile fading. “It's all me. I can have a lot of fun when I'm not stepping over into someone else's business.” The side of his lip hitched upward again. “But when a lady isn't watching out for herself it's kinda hard for me to keep my mouth shut.”

She thought of Lori and wondered if he was, too. “I think…that's an irritating, but commendable quality—”

His eyebrows shot upward in surprise. “Susan? Is that you?”

She gave a short laugh at his startled words. “That
doesn't
mean
I like being bossed around,” she warned him, giving him a look, “but I know you mean well.”

“I do, Susan.”

She heard the sincerity in his words and she believed him…. Her heart caught realizing how much she wanted to believe his actions for her were motivated by more than just concern.

She took a breath and looked at the brand in her hand. It was time to change the direction of the conversation or take the chance of exposing her emotions.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Y-yes. I think this brand has grown cold.” She struggled to sound normal. It was a hard thing to do when she felt as if she were losing control of her heart.

C
ole stared at Susan and felt off-kilter. He'd come up with this idea about the brands the day before, after he and Seth had had their little talk. He'd been in such a foul mood that the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with Susan. Nope, he'd planned to avoid her at all cost, until he finished the job and hit the road. Which would be next week—unless he could get done early.

But this idea was too good to pass up. When it hit him he'd known he was going to have to put off clear-coating everything and call Susan to come out to get her opinion and her help.

Looking at her now, he was almost overcome with the desire to pull her into his arms. He stepped back. He was leaving. Nothing good could come from testing the waters between them. He wasn't looking for that. He was interested in keeping her safe. And in getting her into her building.

They'd had to put the Triple T brand back into the heater to fire it up again.

“So how do you do this?” Susan asked again as they waited, sounding as if she was searching for something to fill the awkward silence between them.

Cole went with it, needing the distraction. “When you press the iron to the wood, you have to keep it steady. Give it even pressure and it'll do the work. It's easy. You ready?”

She nodded.

“Then let's do this.” He pulled the brand from the heater and handed it to her. Their fingers brushed, drawing their gazes together. He let go instantly. Heading back inside, he held the door for her to pass. “I'm glad you came,” he said, unable to not tell her the truth.

She paused, her eyes serious. “Me, too. I should have come out more. I—I didn't mean to abandon you during this project but I—Well…” She swallowed hard and he could tell she didn't know how to move forward.

Welcome to the party.

“Anyway, I'm glad I came.” She hurried through the door and once inside she studied the front of the four-foot wall of the reception desk as if her life depended on getting this right.

Susan was just as mixed-up about what was going on between them as he was. At least that was what he thought. She was probably even more intent than him to keep this business—like she'd said from day one. She'd been right about that. But denying his feelings was getting harder and harder to do. And that was not something he'd anticipated.

Finally, Susan positioned the Triple T's brand almost perfectly in the center and pressed. The muscles of her arms tightened as she leaned into it.

“You're doing good,” Cole said, enjoying watching her. Susan liked to get things right. It was obvious in the way she applied herself to anything she did. He liked that, despite worrying about her. He'd come to realize there was much about Susan that he liked, which was exactly where all of this other emotion was coming from.

“Thanks.” She studied the brand, now burned black into the blond wood in a nice contrast. “It's just a tad off on one side, don't you think?” Leaning her head slightly to the right she contemplated her work.

“You aren't going to lose sleep over that, are you?” His teasing got him a glare…but unlike other times, this glare instantly faded to a smile.

“I'm not
that
much of a perfectionist.”

He grinned. “That's a relief,” he said, teasing yet totally truthful. “Come on. What do you say we get this show on the road?”

“I say let's do it!”

They got new irons, and Susan walked back into the front area. She stared at the desk for a long moment and wondered if she was going to line it up perfectly with his brand. He hoped she would do what he'd envisioned and start branding the wood in random order…some slanted, some sideways, some straight.

“Here goes nothing,” she mumbled, then pressed the brand at an angle.

Yes!
He laughed then took his brand and pressed it beside hers.

“Now, that looks good. Once again, great idea, Cole Turner.”

“Glad to be of service, Doc. It's working out better than I thought it would.”

It was true, he realized. It had been a long few days and he'd missed her…

The idea flowed through him as if trying to settle in where it wasn't welcomed.

He
had
missed her. Very much…

And no matter how much he was trying to deny it—or put off that he was merely feeling things out of concern or in friendship—he couldn't. Question was, what did it mean? What did he want it to mean?

Susan was trying hard to act normal and not let Cole see the conflicting emotions she was fighting. She'd been doing that a lot lately. Focusing on the branding helped, but when he suddenly grew quiet she raised her gaze to his, just as his brows crinkled and his eyes dimmed.

She couldn't move as he took a step toward her. The ringing of the phone broke the silence, but not the tension of the moment. When the phone rang in the evening it was usually the dispatch office with an emergency call. Reaching for it, she couldn't help thinking she had an emergency going on already…one she was not at all prepared to deal with.

Turning her back to Cole, she listened as the dispatcher relayed the message. She could feel Cole's eyes staring at her the entire time.

“What's happened?” he asked the moment she hung up the phone.

“Mrs. A. is at the emergency room in Ranger with a broken hip. She's demanding to see me.” Her heart was pounding as she headed for the door.

“Hold on, let me cut off the furnace,” Cole said, racing out the door into the back area again.

She didn't slow down. She was already behind the wheel of her truck when he came jogging outside.

“Wait up,” he demanded, slamming the clinic door behind him.

“Cole,” she protested through the open window, snapping her seat belt into place. “I don't have time! I have to go. She won't let them operate until I get there.” She knew he was thinking of coming with her. She didn't need the distraction, and she started to back out.

“Don't you dare back up,” he warned, jogging to the truck even as it moved away from him.

“Cole—” She pressed the brake as he yanked open the passenger door and slid into the seat next to her.

“Now drive,” he growled.

She glared at him. She didn't have time to argue with him. And she didn't appreciate him just—

“Would you stop looking at me like that and just drive? I'm not going to mess anything up, if that's what you're worried about.”

Easy for him to say, she thought as she hit the gas, shooting the truck back like a bullet. Stomping the brake hard, she pulled the gear into Drive, pointed the front end toward Ranger and floored it.

Beside her Cole flew forward then was yanked backward against the seat.

“You might want to put that seat belt on,” she snapped.

“Ya don't say,” he drawled, but reached for his seat belt.

She glanced his way and he cranked a brow up and casually stretched an arm across the back of the seat. He looked entirely too settled. Entirely too comfortable—

“Maybe you need to look at the road,” he advised, ever so calmly, nodding toward the road ahead.

She planted her eyes forward immediately and had to swerve to keep from running off the shoulder!

She half expected him to say something smart, but instead he just asked, “Did they give you any details about Mrs. A.?”

“No. It was my evening answering service and they didn't have much info. Just that she needs surgery but she insists on talking to me.”

“I hope she'll be okay. Any clue what she wants you there for?”

“Not sure, unless it has to do with Catherine Elizabeth. I don't know why else she'd request me.”

“Do you want me to drive?”

“Cole, stop!” She scowled at him. “Don't start that. I'm telling you right this minute that I'll pull this truck over and kick you straight out of here if you go mothering me.”

“Mothering you?” He held up his hands.

“Yes,” she warned, feeling more like herself.

“Okay, okay. I'm behaving. But the offer is there.”

Susan grunted and kept her mind on the road. She
was worried about Mrs. Abernathy. She didn't need to have the aggravation of Cole Turner riding shotgun beside her, butting into her business—making her think about how he'd looked only moments ago when she'd thought he wanted to kiss her.
No!

She just plain and simple didn't need him. He was all wrong for her…had been since he drove into town, and nothing had changed.

Except it feels nice to have him, doesn't it?

She bit her lip as the notion tangled her up inside. This was not the time for this. Not the time at all. And yet he was here…but he wouldn't stay. She had to protect herself from that. She had to.
Didn't she?

He reached over and turned on the radio. The sun had gone down and the night air whirled about them as it whipped through the open windows. The unromantic scent of stain and clear coat had seeped into their clothing and now the scent swirled about them—maybe all those fumes were the reason for her weird thoughts.

She suddenly was wishing there was more time for them. More time for him to be around…and more time for her to get him to see things her way. If the man could understand her viewpoint they might be able to act on this crazy attraction…or at the very least become friends. Because despite his irritating stand against her way of working, she still couldn't get over that fact that the man's heart was big enough to fall in love with a dying woman. And then big enough to devote his life so far to helping others…But no matter how much they didn't get along, there was just too much about the man
for her to admire. Even if he was stubborn and totally ignored what she wanted.

It suddenly hit her—had he been this way with Lori? How had she felt about him falling in love with her? Had it given her something to regret leaving behind? Had it made her dying harder?

“O
h, you brought your man with you!” Mrs. Abernathy said the minute Susan and Cole walked into her room.

Susan didn't take the time to point out that he wasn't her man—he just wouldn't listen to her. She was too concerned for Mrs. A. to think about Cole. She looked so frail in the big hospital bed. Especially with the IV in her arm and the monitors beeping all around her. She also looked like she was feeling no pain. They must have given her something to make her comfortable. The nurse had told them before she showed them in that they were ready to take her to surgery the minute she spoke to Susan. The nurse and the orderly followed them into the room and began getting ready to roll.

“Mrs. A., you poor thing. What can I do?” Susan asked as Cole moved to her bedside and took her hand in his.

“We're here to do whatever you need us to do,” he
said, smiling sweetly when Mrs. A. looked up at him with slightly glazed eyes. Tears formed as she nodded to him.

“My Catherine Elizabeth is out there alone. I need you to find her. And, Susan, I need you to fix her up for me and then keep her while I'm recovering from this dad-blamed weak hip. I tried to tell them when they picked me up that my baby was lost in the woods somewhere. But there were only two of them and they said they had to get me in the ambulance. No one would go search for her.”

Distress filled the old woman's eyes and Susan's heart broke. Gently Susan took her hand with the IV hookup and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You don't worry about anything. We'll go find Catherine Elizabeth.”

“Yes, we will. You can count on that.”

Susan felt reassured by Cole's words. She knew the old dog's problems and worried that it might already be too late to help her. “What happened to Catherine and where should we look?”

“I was at the Stony Creek Cemetery where my Herman is buried. Catherine Elizabeth was with me. We were putting flowers on Herman's grave. I looked up and saw Catherine Elizabeth running across the country road—can you imagine my baby running? She was chasing a rabbit and looking like she was a big puppy. I started to go after her but fell and that's when I broke my hip. A car was passing by and the man helped
me
, but he wouldn't leave me and go find my Catherine Elizabeth. No one would. She's out there alone and you know she's sick.”

There were tears in her eyes and her blood pressure and heartbeat had increased. The nurse stepped in. “I'm sorry, but we need to get her to surgery. We've waited as long as we can. The doctor is waiting.”

Susan nodded and met Cole's stormy blue eyes. “We're on our way,” he said, looking back at Mrs. A. “I promise you I'll find Catherine Elizabeth.”

Susan's heart kicked up. Cole Turner was not a man to give his word and back down. She suddenly wondered how many people over the past six years since Lori's death he'd made promises to. Promises to rebuild their homes, their businesses. Their dreams.

Mrs. Abernathy had leaned forward in her agitation, but now looking at him she relaxed. Part of that was due to the meds the nurse had slipped into the IV drip, but still, Susan could tell she had total confidence that Cole was going to do as he said.

“Thank you, Cole,” she said, her words slurring. “I'll pray for her and for you to find her. Susan, will you watch over her?”

“I will watch over her until you are able to move back home and reunite with her.”

“Good. Good.”

The nurse nodded to the orderly and they slipped her onto the gurney.

“We'll see you when you come out,” Susan said, letting go of Mrs. A.'s hand at the door.

“Don't you worry about anything,” Cole called.

“Oh, I'm not now. God sent you and He's taking care of everything.”

 

“Cole, wait up. What is wrong?”

Susan was fast on his heels but he didn't slow down until he reached her truck. “I'll drive,” he said, stopping at the driver's side and holding out his hand.

“No. You're too upset.”

“I'm not upset. I have a dog to find and no time for this. Now, give me the keys.”

Susan studied him hard, as if trying to look inside his head, then she dropped the keys into his hand. “They're all yours. Now let's find Catherine Elizabeth.”

Cole didn't talk as he drove.

“What's the matter, Cole?” Susan asked after they'd left the town behind and were speeding toward the country graveyard.

“How bad is this for Catherine Elizabeth?”

When Susan didn't answer he glanced her way. “Susan?”

“She isn't used to being outside. She could just be scared and hiding. But she could also be in trouble. I'm not sure if Mrs. A. would do well if something happened to Catherine Elizabeth. She loves that sweet dog. They are family.”

Cole gripped the wheel. He wanted to believe God would take care of the old dog. Especially since it was the most loved thing in Mrs. A.'s life. But he wasn't getting his hopes up for divine intervention. He would, however, do everything within his power to bring Catherine Elizabeth home to Mrs. A. There was no way he was going to face her with anything but good news.
Being in the hospital had reminded him all the more of how it felt to lose your loved one…. Mrs. A. already knew that feeling, because she'd lost her husband. He couldn't let her go through that again.

He didn't ever want to go through it again himself.

 

“Cole.” Susan laid her hand on his back three hours into their search. “Are you okay?”

He shrugged off her hand and moved away from her. “I'm looking for a dog that could very likely be dead.”

“She could still be alive.”

He shook his head in disgust. “Don't patronize me, Susan. I'm not one of your little ole lady clients you need to cheer up. We both know the odds are against her. You said it yourself earlier. If she was able to come to us she'd have already been here. She knows and loves you. The fact that we haven't even heard a whimper is not good, and you know it.”

“That's true—I did say that earlier. And…” She rubbed the back of her neck and scanned the area as if believing Catherine Elizabeth was suddenly going to appear and prove him wrong. “And I was thinking the same thing as you only a very few moments ago. But, Cole, I don't think this is all about a dog. Is it?”

He frowned. “We're wasting time.”

Susan stepped up close. He went totally still when she suddenly placed her hands on his face. “I believe God is going to come through here tonight,” she said with full conviction that it would be so.

Cole stared into her beautiful eyes. If only he could
believe that. “God lets people down every day.” He took the best of the best—how then did she think he'd care for a dog? He'd taken Lori despite all the prayers. Despite all the trust.

“Do you believe that God is going to come through here tonight?” she asked.

He looked away.

“Look at me, Cole Turner,” she said, forcing his face back so she was staring into his eyes. They were a mere breath apart as she leaned in and stared hard into his dead-feeling eyes.

“God said to have confidence in Him,” she said sternly. “Remember 1 John 5:14 says, ‘This is the confidence we have in approaching God, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.'”

Cole broke away from her. “Don't talk to me about confidence. I learned the hard way that God takes what He wants and it doesn't matter what kind of confidence I have in Him.”

“Yes, it does.”

“No, it doesn't. I prayed for Lori and I had confidence that He was going to work a miracle and heal her. I trusted Him then, so don't start with all of this. He gets to do as He sees best. But He can't expect me to put my heart on a platter and believe He's going to answer my most heartfelt pleas. I can't play that game anymore.”

He couldn't. “I rely on the abilities He's given me to accomplish answering prayers. He might not choose to answer them, but if I'm in the picture I'm going to do everything in my power to do it.”

“And you've given up on saving Catherine Elizabeth.”

“Yeah, I have. It's late. She's old, sick and more than likely she's out here curled up somewhere dead.” Susan wiped a tear from her eyes and knelt in front of him. “What are you doing?”

“I'm going to pray, Cole. You're right. God has the right to do what He wants. But He is going to do what is best…for everyone. Not just for you and your selfish wants. But for everyone. He knows the future. He knows what is coming in the lives of all those around. You don't know what He saved Lori from in the future. You don't know how many people she touched as they watched her live—from what I've learned from you—was an extraordinarily close walk with Him during the days of her illness. How many lives did she touch? How many lives did her unerring faith change for the better? She felt like every day she was alive was a gift. You told me that. I had that with my dad. He knew every day we had together was precious and a beautiful gift. And he prepared me for life after his death. He prepared me for every way possible and I've been hard-nosed and determined to be the woman he prepared me to be. But you know what, Cole? I forgot something until this very moment. He prepared me most importantly for his passing by giving me a strong faith. He knew when he died that I was going to be okay. I'd forgotten that he told me to be strong and stand up for what I wanted but that without God on my side none of my accomplishments mattered. I believe God sent you Lori as a gift. He knew He was taking her home for reasons we will
never know or understand. But He gave you those precious, beautiful three months together. I think Lori recognized them for what they were and she tried to prepare you.”

“So what are you praying for?” His question was a bare whisper.

“I'm praying that God is going to show you a miracle tonight.” She held up her hand to him. “Come pray with me. Please.”

“Susan,” he said. He couldn't believe she was doing this. “This is useless.”

“Please, Cole. Come down here. Please.”

This was the last thing he'd expected from Susan. He couldn't move. What she'd said about Lori weighed heavily on him. Lori had touched every life she came in touch with. She had been a gift. He'd felt privileged for every second he'd had with her. She'd felt the same way. But this was about believing in God answering his prayers. And He hadn't answered the one that meant the most to him.

Susan took his hand and continued to look up at him. “God tells us to ask and believe, Cole. To ask and believe and then trust that He is going to do what is best. I'm going to pray Catherine Elizabeth is okay and that we are going to find her. And I believe with all my heart that if it is His will, that sweet dog is going to come walking out of the shadows, and her return will show you that He worked all things out for good where Lori's life was concerned.”

Cole couldn't move. He stood still with Susan's hand
grasping his so tightly it hurt. She smiled gently up at him then bowed her head and prayed.

Cole stared at the top of Susan's bowed head. His heart was thundering in his chest and he closed his eyes. She believed. She really believed. He prayed for her sake that God would answer her prayer. But he didn't hold any high hopes that it was really going to happen.

He opened his eyes when she finished to find her smiling at him. He pulled her up and hugged her. She melted against him and wrapped her arms around him. He felt her comfort and strength flowing through him. He kissed the top of her head. “Thank you for that. But—”

“No buts, Cole. No doubts. God is going to provide. I feel it.”

He glanced around and saw nothing in the darkness. There was no sound other than the crickets and the tree frogs. There was no sign of Catherine Elizabeth and no sounds to say she was near. “Come on, Susan. It's time to go back to the hospital and check on Mrs. A. She's going to need us.”

Susan rested her head against his shoulder and her heart pounded against his.
Please, God, show this man that You had a plan for his life. That You let a beautiful soul into his life not to leave him sad and discouraged but to give him hope and to make him into the man You wanted him to become.

She looked into his eyes then glanced around. There was nothing. She wanted to be disappointed but she'd prayed for God's will to be done. She didn't understand what that plan was but she had to trust that He was
working it out for Cole's benefit. And God was not her puppet on a string.

“I'm ready. God's will be done.”

“You tried,” Cole said as he kept his arm around her shoulders and walked her out of the woods. “What is Mrs. Abernathy going to do?”

Susan sighed as he tugged her closer to comfort her. It felt good to be comforted by him, but…“I don't want to believe that Catherine Elizabeth is dead. But if she is, Mrs. A. will be fine. She was strong, so strong when her Herman died. She is a woman of faith and I don't believe you've realized that about her.”