Her Gentle Giant: No Regrets (3 page)

Grace and Charity had evidently felt the same way. They’d gone out on that dance floor, and all three had shaken what their mamas had given them, leaving the men at Grace’s table slack-jawed and glassy-eyed with lust. It’d been almost comical.

Rachel had thrown her head back and laughed from the pure joy of moving to the beat and happened to look over and had caught that handsome new bouncer staring
straight
at her with what she could only call intense interest. It had been obvious in his body language. She’d almost been able feel the heat of his gaze on her body. She’d glanced his way again as she’d turned, moving her hips in a sensual rhythm, and had seen that his eyes were still on her. Boldly, Rachel had danced the rest of the song for him, sliding her hands around her hips to her ass and then up her rib cage and into her hair. Unfortunately, the song had to come to an end.

More groups had filtered in through the door, and he’d once again focused solidly on the job. The evening had ended abruptly, thanks to that crazy heifer, Patricia Ramirez.

Rachel noticed his place was a little off the beaten path as she followed him down a dark, sparsely populated country road. Eli pulled into the driveway and parked next to his Harley. She parked behind the truck and popped her trunk. He immediately started to unload her belongings, most of which she’d hastily thrown in garbage bags. It was all a hodgepodge of clothing, shoes, papers, her laptop, and mementos she could grab in a hurry.

There was also a box that she kept for such a purpose where she stored priceless old photographs, paperwork, and documents that would be hard to replace.

After Eli had all her belongings unloaded and sitting on the living room floor, he gave her a quick tour. She recognized the difficulty right off. This duplex was a two-bedroom, one-bath unit. The smaller of his two bedrooms was set up as an office, with a desk and a loveseat, plus all the other junk
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that usually wound up in spare rooms. His king-sized bed dominated the master bedroom, the sheet and blanket flung back in disarray from when he climbed out of it after getting the call from Mike. The comfy sofa in the living room was probably where she would bed down because the loveseat was not nearly long enough for her five foot-nine-inch frame.

Rachel took a look at herself in the hall mirror and asked Eli if she could use his shower. She hadn’t saved anything from her bathroom at all. Not soap, shampoo, razor, or curling iron, and, dammit, her birth control pills had gone up in flames, too. Shit.

He stood in the hallway with her, smiling tenderly down at her. She wanted nothing more than for him to fold her into his arms. “Of course you can take a shower, Rachel. Make yourself at home.”

“I don’t have soap or shampoo or any of that stuff.”

He reached into the bathroom and turned on the light. She followed him in as he opened the linen closet.

“That’s okay. You can use mine. Here’s a towel and a fresh washcloth, too. You’re welcome to what I have.” When he said it, she had a distinct feeling it pleased him to provide those items for her use. “Whatever you need, you can use. There are even fresh razors in the cabinet if you need one. Angel, make yourself at home.” Her cheeks warmed at the softly spoken endearment, and her heart beat a little faster when her body responded to it as well. He reached out a gentle finger to wipe at a smudge on her cheek, and her skin tingled where he touched her.

“Thank you,” she said softly. “My robe and gown both smell like smoke. I’ll see if I have something I can sleep in.” Rachel went to her bags to look but knew she hadn’t grabbed much in the way of clothing. He returned from his bedroom with a black T-shirt and held it out to her. She thanked him, found the bag she she’d thrown panties into, and found a fresh pair. It occurred to her that the pretty camisoles she slept in had been hanging in her closet. Dammit. She closed her eyes and sighed, mourning the waste. His hand was gentle on her shoulder.

“Are you hungry, Rachel? Is there anything else I can get for you?” His thumb gently rubbed above her shoulder blade.

Smiling up at him, she said, “No, Eli. I’m beginning to remember things that I didn’t think to grab before it was too late.”

“I’m sorry. I can only imagine how hard that must be.”

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“It’s such a waste. I’m going to take my shower. Would you mind if I use your hairbrush?”

Eli smiled at her, and she thought he looked awfully happy about her using his hairbrush. She felt silly having to ask. “Sure. Take your time, angel.”

Once the water was warm enough, she stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over her hair and stood under the spray for a few minutes, warming herself. Standing outside in the middle of the night had left her chilled. It was probably mild shock from the whole experience affecting her now that she could relax a little. She felt a little disconnected from it all.

Rachel washed her hair then bathed with his bodywash. After she was done, she dried off and slipped into his long T-shirt that came to just above her knees and put on her black thong. She chose not to analyze why she’d picked a thong over something with more coverage. Naughty Rachel did a fist pump at the thought. The T-shirt was on the loose side because Eli was very broad through the chest, so she thought it would be all right to not put the smoky-smelling robe back on over it. Plus, the T-shirt was black, so it didn’t reveal much. She scrubbed her teeth as best as she could and left the bathroom.

He was reclining on the couch, waiting for her. “I’ll sleep on the couch, and you can have my bed, Rachel. You’re welcome to it for however long you stay.” He got up and led her into the bedroom. He’d changed into a pair of black sweatpants, and he was now bare-chested. That was the first time she’d ever seen him shirtless, and he was…incredible. Massive and beautiful. It was a struggle not to simply stand there and stare at him. Then she remembered what he’d said.

“I don’t want to run you out of your bedroom, Eli. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

“It’s no trouble, Rachel. The bed is more comfortable, and I’d rather you slept peacefully. I insist. I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“Are you sure?” She should feel guilty for taking his bed, but her heart pounded a little at the delicious thought of curling up in a bed with sheets and pillows that smelled like this handsome man. She’d wallow in them the first chance she got. He leaned down to her and kissed her cheek gently. She felt her cheeks heat up at the unexpected affection, quivering inside at the warmth that spread through her at his gentle touch.

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“I’m sure. I put a glass of water for you on the bedside table. I’ll bet you’re really thirsty right now. Drink it and get some rest. I normally sleep in the morning after I work at The Pony, so sleep as long as you need to.”

She nodded. “Goodnight, Eli.”

“Goodnight, angel.” The endearment rolled so easily from his lips, and the light in his eyes when he said it was hard to miss. Eli returned to the living room and lay back down on the couch, and she wondered if he normally wore sweatpants to bed. She attributed her random lustful thoughts to sleep deprivation and shock.

Sitting on the bedside, she greedily gulped down the glass of water he’d placed there for her. Thoughtful Eli. She turned off the lamp and slid in between the cool black sheets. Pulling one of his pillows to her chest, she laid her head on the other one. She was soon awash in the heady fragrance that was pure, undiluted Eli. She breathed deep and felt cocooned and secure in his bed. Amidst those safe and secure feelings was another stirring deep in her body, a tingling, throbbing sensation that she did her best to not examine too closely.

Rachel knew if she called out to him, he’d come to bed with her, and if she asked him to, he’d make love to her. That would be stupid and foolish on too many levels. She shouldn’t make decisions like that when under such monumental stress, and it couldn’t happen, anyway. She’d only bring him trouble in the long run and plenty of heartache for herself. But thinking sane thoughts like that did nothing for the desire that bloomed within her for him.

She could keep trying to talk herself out of the growing closeness between the two of them, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle. She pressed her nose to his pillow and inhaled deeply, trying to will herself to sleep.

* * * *

Eli listened to her get into his bed, clearly hearing his sheets rustle as she settled herself into his pillows. The thought of her in his bed, even though she was alone there, filled him with satisfaction. If only she would welcome him into the bed as well. He couldn’t understand her reluctance to draw closer to him because he could sense that the attraction between them was not one-sided.

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He knew she was reluctant to place her heart on the line because she said she was the jealous type. Rachel had an understandable problem with the way women approached him at The Pony. He was always clear with them that he did not welcome their advances, but that didn’t stop the more aggressive ones. He believed once the word got out that he was dating Rachel the advances might cease or at least diminish in number. She remained concerned, but that didn’t mean he’d give up on her. He contented himself with the fact that at least she was in his bed, regardless of the circumstances.

When had she emerged from the bathroom, she’d turned this way and that, searching for him in the dim light, before spying him on the couch.

He’d seen her lush curves in perfect profile as she turned, the full swell of her delectable breasts, and the tight peaks of her nipples had been visible as she turned. Normally, she wore denim everywhere she went, so he had seen much more beautiful leg than he normally did.

What he wouldn’t give to run his hands up the backs of her curvaceous legs, to suckle on those delicious little peaks under his T-shirt, to have the rest of what lay hidden beneath that T-shirt under his tongue. His thoughts served only to make his pulsing erection throb even harder against the fleece of the sweatpants he wore. Normally, he slept nude, but he’d donned these for her benefit, hoping his erection hadn’t been too noticeable earlier. He did his best to get comfortable, but his cock twitched again at the sound of her soft, contented sigh.

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Eli woke to the sound of sobs coming from his bedroom. It wasn’t loud, but it didn’t need to be. That heartbroken sound would have awakened him from a coma with its forlorn intensity. Reality must have set in at some point, or perhaps she’d had a bad dream. Whichever the case was, he couldn’t leave her to cry alone. If she kicked him out of the bedroom, fine.

He’d understand and accept that, but he had to at least offer his comfort to her.

Rachel sat up on the side of the bed, her face in her hands, looking so small and vulnerable. He whispered to her so he wouldn’t startle her as he knelt in front of her, slipping his arms around her waist so she could put her head on his shoulder and cry, which she did, for a few minutes.

“Did you have a bad dream?”

“M–my…m–my poor fish. My aquarium. It’s awful. They probably suffered.” She wept softly. “And my grandmother’s turkey platter and my antique china. My o–o–old teddy bear.” She whimpered and sobbed. “My hope chest that my grandpa made for me was in my bedroom. My
orange
roses!
” She sobbed loudly at last, letting it out.

She held on to him and poured out her heart on his shoulder. The orange roses had certainly made an impression if she remembered them among all her other precious possessions. He lifted her in his arms, laid her on the bed, and climbed in beside her. He sternly reminded himself this was to comfort her and not to get his hopes up. He was going back to the couch after she returned to sleep. Dammit.

* * * *

The thought of her hope chest lying in ashes under the rubble of her apartment building broke her heart, not only because of what it contained,
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but because of who made it for her. Her grandpa was laid to rest in the Divine cemetery in town three years before. There was no way to replace it.

Her link to him was the love in her heart, but that tangible link, something made especially for her, had been precious to her. Tucked away inside it, wrapped in tissue paper, was a hand-crocheted tablecloth that had been made by her grandmother as well as the christening dress both she and her mother had worn as babies.

It hurt and on some level renewed the loss of her grandparents, who had passed away within six months of each other. She could remember as a little girl watching her grandparents interact with such love and affection for each other. It was not uncommon to see them kiss each other and hold hands. All her life, the deep and abiding love they felt had been a real and living testimony to her of how a marriage should be, a tradition her parents had continued.

Sometimes her mom and dad were nauseating with their affection. After she moved out on her own, she’d learned the hard way not to use her key and walk right in. Her parents finally had the house to themselves after raising her and enjoyed making full use of every room, she’d discovered much to her embarrassment one day. She hoped she lived to have that kind of ageless, profound love with her future husband, the kind that embarrassed her kids and made them roll their eyes and laugh. The thought cheered her, and the tears stopped abruptly.

What the hell is wrong with me?
If she didn’t know better, she’d say love was staring her right in the face, and what was she doing? She was running from it, afraid to take a chance because of a little adversity. Her parents had not raised her to run from a challenge. Eli did not strike her as the type to shrug his shoulders at the obvious difficulty she had with her jealous nature. He’d been both sympathetic and unfailingly persistent. He had not dated anyone else she knew of since he’d begun pursuing her.

For crying out loud, Mike and Rogelio had even given their thumbs-up to them dating, and the good Lord knew how protective the two of them were. Her father had even met Eli in the bar one night. He said nothing to her, but she’d heard from Mike that her father approved of Eli. She wouldn’t have been a bit surprised if Mike or Rogelio had told her father about Eli pursuing her and he’d come in to check Eli out for himself, to size him up
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and see if he was good enough for his little girl. She knew he would have had plenty to say if Eli had not measured up.

Rachel lay quietly, tucked into Eli’s side, and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of the T-shirt she wore. Her heart was still heavy with the loss and the stress of the fire, but she knew she had moved through a barrier of some sort and dealt with feelings that had been building up for a while. The fire had just provided the catalyst.

“Better?” Eli asked as she laid her head back on his chest. No longer curled in a defensive little ball, she stretched out beside him and took stock of her current position. She tentatively placed her hand on his bare chest under her cheek. Lord have mercy, but he smelled good. All male. Woodsy and clean.

“Yes. Much better.” Her fingers splayed out and skimmed across his chest, sifting through the smattering of hairs there over his nipples. She heard his slight intake of breath, and the sound of his heartbeat increased in its rhythm. The accelerating beat made her smile, the sound so solid and reassuring. Rachel snuggled to him and allowed her thigh to drape over his just a little as her hand slid to his abdomen, but no lower, as she listened for a reaction from him. She didn’t have to wait long.

“Rachel?” He sounded a little breathless as her fingertips gently but deliberately caressed his abdomen. “Should I return to the couch?” His voice had a deeper husky tone than usual. His large warm hand gently slid over her forearm. Beneath her ear, his heart pounded. They were poised on the brink of something that would change them both.

“No,” she whispered shakily, and her breath hitched from her crying spell. Her body ached to feel his touch. Her clit throbbed, and moisture surged in her aching cunt as her body prepared to receive a lover. “Please don’t go.” All this emotion and sensation had been held back for so long, and now it surged forward as her body clamored to be consumed by his.

His arms surrounded her and held her close as his body trembled almost imperceptibly and a soft sigh escaped his lips. Her thigh became entwined with his as she drew closer to him. She reached across the wide expanse of his chest and pressed her lips to his muscled pec. Encouraged by that offering, he easily pulled her on top of him so that she would have straddled him had she opened her thighs. Palming the back of her head, he kissed her for the very first time on the lips. It was a gentle kiss, which seemed to
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silently beg for her trust, then quickly became more passionate and demanding. Parting her lips, Rachel accepted him as he sought entry to her mouth, his warm tongue stroking hers. She felt a sudden rush of moisture between her legs and a more intense throbbing in her clit. Her body begged to be taken.

“Are you sure, Rachel?” Eli’s voice was deep and steady. “I want to make sure you want this. If something happens between us, I don’t want to go back to the way it was. I also don’t want you to regret it later.”

She could hear the emotion that ran deep in his voice. His fear of being hurt was just as strong as hers.
How
had she ever resisted this gentle giant so long? Was she crazy?

“Eli, I’m done running. I’m done fighting the way I feel about you.”

She rested her head on his shoulder, under his jaw. “Yes, I’m stressed out and emotional, but I trust you. And if I trust you, I should give us a chance. I know now that I’ll regret it forever if I
don’t
give us a chance.” She lifted her head and looked up at him in the pale moonlight that shone through his bedroom window.