Her Guardians Lost (Her Guardians Trilogy #2) (22 page)

I smiled at Lisa-Marie. I knew this was something she felt very strongly about. You could tell by the rigid posture and the glare in her eyes as she spoke.

What she didn’t realise was that I was still a virgin. This was also something I would have to convince the court. I didn’t think they would believe me, considering how old I was. These days, it was a rarity to find someone as old as me who hadn’t had sex yet.

“That’s very true, Lisa-Marie. Unfortunately, though, they don’t see it that way.” I took a sip of my wine.

“They should all be castrated, if you ask me.”

Spluttering wine back into my glass, I started choking. All the men around the table instinctively wrapped their hands around their private parts.

“Remind me never to be alone in a room with you next time you have a ‘man hating’ campaign going on,” Simeon winced.

Lisa-Marie winked at him. “Deal,” she replied, giggling.

Smacking my hand on the table, I gained everyone’s attention. “Who’s up for another drink?”

To my surprise, everyone put their hand up like school kids. Suddenly, all my worries and anxieties faded as laughter continued to escape my lips.

Chapter 18

The afternoon had quickly turned dark and my hunger levels were at its peak. The time at the pub was just the social gathering I needed to help lift my spirits.

But now, Simeon, Mr. Wigglesby, and I were on our way back to my flat carrying some sausages and chips from the local chip shop. The smell of chips and vinegar rising in the cold night air was making me salivate. It had been a while since I had a bag of chip shop chips. Even thinking about it was driving me wild with a heated, almost lust-filled yearning.

“You have to stop licking your lips like that, Cassie. It’s immensely distracting.”

Pulling at his arm, I couldn’t help the tipsy grin spreading on my face. “Well, I’m
immensely
hungry. I’m
immensely
in the need to get back home and eat those chips.”

His unamused face said it all. “I really hope you’re not making fun of me, young lady.”

I shook my head, giggling. “
Immensely,
no.”

As we neared the flat, Simeon started tickling me. “Stop, stop!” I shouted.

“See, this is what you get for taking the mick.”

I could hardly breathe through my laughing. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”

Then the playfulness came to an abrupt halt when we spied Paul standing outside my flat. He didn’t look happy.

“Paul, what’s wrong?” I asked, walking up the steps.

He looked at both of us as if he was sorry he interrupted. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.”

Fishing my keys out as quickly as possible, I unlocked the door. I turned on all the lights, placed Mr. Wigglesby on my nightstand, and hung my bag up. Simeon dropped the chips on the dining table and the smell hit me again. I had to close my eyes and try to hold it together. The need to rip open that bag and gorge right now was taking over.

“Would you like a drink?” I knew he would say no, but I thought I’d be polite. Paul was in uniform and standing stiffly, so this wasn’t a social visit.

“No, I’m fine, but thank you. I’ve only come for a quick visit, then I must head back. I can see you’re about to eat anyway.”

Simeon sat down on my sofa and looked up at Paul. “What’s happened?”

“It’s Daniel.”

My heart immediately sank. I had to sit next to Simeon. As if on instinct, he took my hand.

“A couple hours ago, he was attacked in his cell. I haven’t gotten the full details yet, but it doesn’t look good.”

I didn’t realise I was squeezing Simeon’s hand until he moved his a little. I instantly released my grip and offered him an apologetic smile, turning my attention back to Paul. “What happened?”

Paul gripped his belt and sighed heavily. “It would seem he hasn’t made many friends in prison. They all know he is an ex-police officer. In a nutshell, he was stabbed in the stomach five times. They’re not sure how serious it is yet. I’m still waiting on the news. Suffice it to say, the court case will be postponed. I wanted to tell you both as soon as I could.”

I released a breath I had been holding, but it wasn’t in relief. It was in shock. I certainly wasn’t expecting that.

Simeon held his hand out to him. “We appreciate you telling us.”

Paul smiled and shook his hand. “No problem at all. I’ll let you know what happens.” His smile faded once he saw my face. “Are you okay, Cassie?”

“Me? I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well, if anything, it will give you some breathing space. I suppose it will be a while until another court date can be arranged. Just relax and enjoy Christmas. Let’s see what the new year will bring.”

I had to smile. Despite his rough edges, Paul had a heart of gold. I did the only thing I could think of to do. Rising out of my seat, I gave Paul a hug. “Thank you for taking the time to come round and see us.”

Blushing, he pulled back slightly, clearing his throat. “That’s fine. Don’t mention it.” He paused for a moment. “Well, I shall leave you to your dinner. To be honest, this sight of those chips is making me hungry,” he laughed. “Take care and I’ll see you next week?”

I nodded. “Yes. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning and if he gives me the okay, I’ll be back on Monday.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

“You bet!” Opening the door, I watched as Paul left, then went back to the task at hand. The chips!

Simeon was opening the bag with a smile, shaking his head. “What’s that smile for?”

“I feel a little sorry for Paul, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on, Cassie. You can’t be that blind. The poor boy didn’t know what to do with himself when you gave him that hug.”

“He knows I don’t feel that way about him.”

Simeon popped a chip in his mouth. Walking over, I sat down and did the same. It was heavenly.

“I know, but that doesn’t stop him from feeling it. Cassie, you have to remember that although your heart and mind are set on one, the hearts and minds of others will still yearn from afar. Despite the fact you’ve kept your angel qualities—which will set them off in itself—you have an air of purity, vulnerability, and even strength about you. Does that make sense?”

It did. My silly grin told him as much. It was then that I realised something. I didn’t know that much about Simeon. He seemed to know me from the inside out, but he never seemed to speak much about himself.

“Did you ever…?” I rolled my eyes, finding it hard to get the words out. “You know…mate with anyone back home?”

Simeon laughed at my obvious embarrassment. “No,” he replied, popping another chip in his mouth. “There
was
someone out there for me. Someone picked for me, shall we say. I just never got a chance to see if it would work out. Coming here kind of halted any plans.”

Throwing about four chips in my mouth, I pondered what he said. “Are you upset about that?”

He shook his head. “Not really. If you learn anything about being an angel, it’s that we have nothing but time. Humans only live a century, if they’re lucky, so that doesn’t leave them a lot of time to find someone. Me? I have plenty of time, so another few decades doesn’t affect me that much.”

I suppose patience is the one thing with which angels learn to live. I imagine humans do find themselves in a rush once they reach a certain age. Biological clocks tick, and panic rises if that special someone doesn’t land at your feet within a certain time. I could see it all made sense.

“Were you happy with the match?” I asked. It would be nice to think Simeon had someone to go back to after this. How long that would be was anyone’s guess. In a way, I felt a little guilty because a selfish part of me wanted to keep him with me. Just like Michael, Stephen, and Luana, I seemed to cling to him like he was my only vice.

“You could say I was,” he replied with a smile. “I shall have to see what the future brings.”

I hoped he would be able find his happiness. I could tell he seemed a little lonely. “So you’ll try to woo her when you go back?”

Simeon cleared his throat and blinked rapidly. I didn’t know whether this conversation was welcome or not. “Let me put it this way… I have been working hard for her and will continue to do so. Hopefully I can eventually bring her around with my charm.”

I had to chuckle at that. “I’m sure you will.”

“Really?” he asked, a playful spark in his eyes.

I couldn’t imagine why he would be so doubtful of his capabilities. “Really.”

Simeon gave me a triumphant nod and popped another chip in his mouth. “How are you feeling about Daniel?”

I sighed, licking my greasy fingers. “Conflicted.”

“Why?”

I sank back in my chair. “A part of me is grateful I don’t have to go to court, but another part of me is guilty for feeling that way. In one sense, Daniel needs to be punished; in another, I would have never wished that to happen to him.”

“I don’t think his wife will see it that way.” I knew that, but it still didn’t help the guilt from overriding me.

“I know, and I can understand that. I guess it’s just my nature to feel that way.”

“I totally get how you feel, Cassie. You feel that way because you’re a good person. However, you have to remember that Daniel would have never thought twice about hurting you that day. He never thought twice when he did it to his wife.”

I knew I was being silly. At the end of the day, Daniel was an evil person. “I know. It’s just hard to know how to feel. I do feel the relief, but I know it’s for the wrong reasons. It makes me feel guilty.” I sank my head to my lap in disbelief. “I know I’m being silly.”

Simeon grabbed my hand and made me look at his cheery face. “You could never be silly, Cassie. You’re just being human.”

I had to laugh at that word. Maybe I was more human than I thought.

Chapter 19

The next day, I woke up feeling rather good about myself. I had Mr. Wigglesby in my arms, and I never once let him go.

However, I did have that dream again during the night, but Stephen came to me. He sat with me by the door and held my hand, whispering the sweetest words a girl could ever hear. Somehow, the door seemed insignificant when he was around. Stephen must know how important me opening that door was, but his patience gave him the strength to hold my hand and comfort me when I needed it. It would be so easy for him to take my hand, shake it, and tell me to hurry up. Just remember already! But he never did. He had never once pleaded with me to remember. It was always just this female voice inside my head. My voice, but not my voice. Always there in the back of my mind. Always teasing me, giving me little hints, but never vital clues.

As much as this all frustrated the hell out of me, I was determined not to back down. Not if it meant I could be with Stephen again. I was alone in this. I knew that much. There was no one to guide me or take on a little of my burden. It was okay, though. I was fine with that. I just had to find my strength and keep going. Keep fighting to win back the other half of me that was missing. The other half I couldn’t possibly live without.

Seeing as I had time before my doctor’s appointment, I set about getting ready to go shopping. It had been a while since I had done any real “retail therapy”. Simeon would be at work now, so I had time to myself. I really enjoyed his company last night. He stayed with me until around ten, chatting and laughing. It was pleasant to sit with someone I could relate to and just talk. Simeon was quickly becoming the rock I had in Michael. A true friend through and through.

He’s not Stephen!
the voice raged in my head.

“Yes, I know that!” I shouted back, shaking my head.

You’d think my subconscious hated Simeon the way it was carrying on. I
knew
he wasn’t Stephen. I could distinguish between the two now. Stephen had an air of cheekiness in him. He was fun to be around. Simeon had that in him, too, but he didn’t have the finesse Stephen possessed. When Stephen looked at me, I felt like the only woman in the world. He made me feel so wanted, my head would spin with a joyful dizziness. Just one look had my fire burning, my head swimming, and my heart swelling until I thought it would burst.

But when Simeon looked at me, I never got any of that. He looked at me like I was just another person. Of course, I knew I was more to him than that. The angels always cared and looked out for one another. The differences between the two were just indicative, even symbolic.

With a heavy sigh, I thought it high time I got myself in gear and visit my poor neighbour, Ms. Summers. I had been neglecting her something awful lately. I was determined to change that right now. I needed to go shopping anyway. I could pick up a couple things if she needed me to.

Shutting my door behind me, I walked down the steps into the crisp, cold air. It was cloudy again today, but I was hoping the rain would stay away. At least until I’d done my shopping and come back from the doctor.

I knocked and waited because I knew it would take her time to answer. When there was no answer, I knocked again. Maybe she was out today.

Turning, I was halfway down the steps when I heard her timid voice. “Cassie…,” she whispered behind me.

Spinning around, I was shocked at how pale she looked. “Ms. Summers, are you okay?”

Her smile was wide, but I knew she wasn’t well. “I’m glad you’re here, Cassie. Will you come in for a moment?”

Practically running back up the stairs, I grabbed her arm. “Of course. Let me help you back inside.”

We moved slowly, taking all the time she needed. Once we were in her living room, I motioned for her to sit down. “I’ll go make us some tea.”

“No, dear. I should do it. You’re my guest.”

Patting her shoulder, I stared into her lost eyes. “I’ll do it. I insist.”

Making my way to her kitchen, I couldn’t help the knot that was forming in my stomach. Something wasn’t right and it scared me to death. We didn’t know each other that well, but I have enjoyed the times we have spent together. She has always been my constant.

“Cassie,” she smiled as I entered the living room with the tea and biscuits. “You always are a lovely, sweet girl.”

I sat down in the chair, reaching over to grab her hand. For some reason, she recoiled from me. “Ms. Summers, you’re frightening me.”

Her eyes widened a little. “I don’t mean to, dear, but I don’t want you to see what’s coming.”

Now it was my turn to widen my eyes. Did she just say what I thought she did? “I don’t understand.”

She smiled sweetly and shifted in her chair. “I think it’s time I explain something to you, Cassie. I don’t have much time myself, so it’s time you knew.” She paused for a moment.

“My husband, George, was a brilliant man, but he had enemies. He had a mission to fulfil, but his enemies got to him before he could carry it out. He was strong, but no one could have foreseen what was about to happen. And not even he, as strong as he was, could be strong enough to remember who he really was. I knew, of course, and because of that, I gave up my seat and came here to search for him.”

She stopped for a moment, letting me take in everything she was revealing. She knew, by now, that I had understood what she was saying, but I couldn’t quite believe it myself. How could I have not seen this before? She had never once offered me her hand, but I had never tried to take it, either. For me not to do that was perfectly normal, but it wouldn’t be for the average person. I wasn’t sure why I never questioned it before.

I didn’t know why, but a single tear slipped down my face. I wasn’t even aware I had tears in my eyes until it dropped.

Ms. Summers smiled. “You understand now, don’t you?”

I nodded. I understood perfectly what she was trying to say. I just couldn’t understand why she didn’t feel the need to say anything to me before. “But why didn’t you say something?”

Ms. Summers closed her eyes. “You were dealing with your own problems. I knew that much. You see, when you find a mate, the bond between you is so strong, it can never be broken. I was mated with George, and the thought of being apart from him for so long tore my heart in two. I just couldn’t live without him. I had to come down here and be near him in the hope that, in his human form, he would fall in love with me all over again.”

It was so hard to wrap my head around this new information. I had to know more, though. “So you knew who you were?”

She patted my knee gently. “Yes. Considering I had lost him, they granted me that.”

My heart accelerated. “Do you mean the Archangel Council?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “You know more than I thought.”

I sighed the same frustrated sigh I had become accustomed to lately. “But, apparently, not enough.”

Leaning over, she tapped my knee again. “You have a strong heart, Cassie. Stronger than my husband ever did. I think you could be the exception to the rule.”

In my hope, I had to know if her husband ever knew. “Did he ever remember?”

She shook her head. “No, but I would sometimes she a flicker in his eyes when certain things were mentioned. He would sometimes look at me in such a way that I thought he knew. There was definitely recognition there somewhere, but I doubted he would ever fully remember.”

It made me sad to know that Ms. Summers had kept all this hidden from her husband for so many years. Yes, he fell in love with her again, but he never knew their souls were destined for one another.

“Would he know now?” I asked.

She smiled. “I should imagine so, yes. He’ll be waiting for me.”

Now it was my turn to feel a little sad for her husband. Now that he knows, he must be devastated that he never remembered their time together. However, it intrigued me that he was sent down on a mission. A very similar situation as me.

“Can I ask what his mission was?”

Ms. Summers gazed at me with an amused smile. I knew I was asking a lot, and I knew it could easily piss some people off. But she seemed more relieved, like she could finally share something she had bottled up for decades. “He was sent down to try to prevent a war from starting.”

My eyes widened. “You don’t mean
the
war? As in the Second World War?”

She nodded. “Yes. The angels knew it would be a big war with many lives lost. We had to try and prevent it from happening. The untold lives which would have been taken were unimaginable” With sadness, Ms. Summers closed her eyes.

“But some other angels disagreed,” I pressed.

She opened her eyes with a nod of her head. “Yes. Some angels have stronger beliefs than others. Some feel if tragedies can be prevented, we must try. Others feel that tragedy is just a part of life. That it is what makes the world go around.”

That intrigued me somewhat. I knew she was a good angel, that was obvious to me by now, but I had to know. “And how do you feel about it?”

Her posture sagged a little as she exhaled. “To be honest, I can see both sides of the argument, but it really boils down to one thing. If I knew something terrible was about to happen, I could never just sit there and watch as the whole event unfolded in front of my eyes. It would, quite frankly, devastate me.”

My memory swiftly brought me to the train crash. I know I saved Lisa-Marie from death, but I didn’t save the others. I still felt guilty for that.

“I understand what you mean,” I whispered.

“My mate took a risk and it cost him his seat. I’m sure he would do it all over again if he was asked, though. He’s just that type of angel.”

Hearing her actually confirm everything was just overwhelming. “All this time, I had someone like me living right next door.”

She giggled. “Why do you think you specifically moved into your studio? It wasn’t because of its huge size and picturesque qualities, Cassie. You sought me out. You
do
realise we like to flock to one another, don’t you?”

Remembering what Simeon said about us herding, I smiled. “Yes, I do. I can never get enough of their presence.”

She nodded. “Then you understand why your subconscious brought you right next door to me. I could see it in you the very first day we met. I knew you must have been a soul who was touched. Somehow, though, I knew you were also different. You had that natural calming ability we angels have. I sought you out as much as you did me, but you never put two and two together like I did.”

I was, quite frankly, dumbfounded. “I really don’t know what to say.”

She returned back in her chair, but winced as she arched her back into the seat. “Well, now you know.”

The seed of doubt returned to my mind. “There’s something wrong, isn’t there?”

She sat there silently for a moment, then smiled. “Always so perceptive, Cassie.” She inhaled deeply. “My time on earth has come to an end. I don’t have long now. That was why I needed to speak with you.”

With tears in my eyes, the hurt coursing through me, I wondered whether I had the strength to ask what I didn’t want to know. “How do you know all this?”

“I’m sure you’ll know when it’s your time, Cassie. It’s just something we do. Animals can sometimes sense it. For instance, why do some cats find a special place to curl up in before they know their death is imminent? It’s just something within us, I guess.”

I understood exactly what she was saying, but it didn’t help the sorrow I now felt. “I know it sounds selfish, but I don’t want you to leave me.”

Ms. Summers looked radiant all of a sudden. “I know, Cassie. But I’m so happy. I’ll get to go back to my George. He was always and will always be my life. You can understand that, can’t you?”

Thinking about Stephen, I knew all too well. “Yes, I can. More than anything. I suppose, in that sense, I can say I’m happy for you. Although I never would imagine why I would say something like that to anybody.”

Ms. Summers chuckled. “Thank you, dear. I’m preparing for my time now. I have until the clocks on the Big Ben tower strike midnight on New Year’s Day.”

What she told me about the animals made sense, but I couldn’t understand how she would know down to the last second when her time would come. “Can I be there for you?”

Pursing her lips, she shook her head. “I would never expect it, Cassie. You should be out celebrating the day, not mourning my passing.”

I’m not sure whether Ms. Summers knew just how important she was to me. I had to be there. It just didn’t seem right otherwise. “There is nowhere else I would rather be. Besides, I couldn’t let you leave on your own. I would like to finally hold your hand as I say goodbye to a dear friend.”

With that, I think she finally understood. “If that’s the case, Cassie, then I would be honoured.”

*****

Not knowing how I put one foot in front of the other, I left Ms. Summers’ house. I walked for fifteen minutes before I looked up to see where the hell I was. Without having a clue as to how I got there, I was walking down the high street amongst all the shops. I went about my business with my shopping, then visited the doctor. My shoulder was finally healing, so I was able to take the sling off. I had been using my arm even with it on, but I was just so glad to be finally free of it.