Her Heart's Desire (15 page)

Ivan reached her bedroom door and stopped short. The entire room was engulfed in candlelight. Tiffany was kneeling in the center of the bed waiting for him, her body shimmering with incandescent light. The cream-colored lace nightie she wore teased him with what was to come. Ivan was struck with the reverence of it all. It felt almost like his wedding night. His gaze traveled over the woman who had come to mean the world to him in such a short amount of time. Nothing could have prepared him for how his five-foot-two-and-a-half-inch beauty could have captured his heart so completely.

He fought to contain the emotion bubbling up inside. He had to be strong...for both of them.

“Words fail me.”

Her face lit up at his compliment. “I was thinking the same thing.”

Ivan walked to the bed. He sat down at the foot. “I could stare at you all night.”

“Not all night,” she teased.

“Thank you,” he said humbly.

“For what?”

“Where do I start? For your thoughtful words earlier, for throwing me a spectacular party, for...tonight.”

“When I first saw you, I remember thinking that you were an Army of One, and it’s true. I know you’ll protect me and keep me safe from harm—and I want to do the same for you.”

“You do, Tiffany. I recall thinking that with you, I could be myself. I can let my guard down because you’ve got my back. You’re the one looking out for me.”

“I take my job seriously,” she reminded him.

Tiffany reached up and began to unbutton his shirt. When she was finished, she slid it off his shoulders. He tossed it on the floor. She knelt forward and unbuckled his belt and then unzipped his pants. Ivan got up and stepped out of them, and then his boxer briefs. Totally devoid of clothing, he stood there.

Tiffany shook her head in wonder. “You’re magnificent.”

As if he had all the time in the world, Ivan slid the straps to Tiffany’s nightgown down one at a time. The nightgown fell to a pool around her stomach. She was wearing the ruby necklace he’d given her. He reached out and fondled the three gemstones. She was wearing his heart, his mind and his soul, and didn’t even know it.

“So are you.”

They made love slowly, and with infinite tenderness. Ivan caressed every inch of Tiffany, as if committing her to memory. He coaxed her body to a fever pitch, and when they finally came together, seconds later, Tiffany erupted with pleasure almost instantly.

Ivan felt her squeezing him tight and holding him in a honeyed embrace. He rolled her over and on top of him. From his vantage point, he could have full access to her body, and when he slipped his hand between her legs, his ministrations awarded him the best view of her ecstatic second release. He closed his eyes and savored the feel of her holding him inside of her. Surrounded by warmth. Protected.

This time, when Ivan felt his control ebbing, it was Tiffany who lured him over the edge with her sweet words of affection.

“Let go, Ivan. I’ve got you.”

He reached up and slowed the rhythmic moving of her hips. “You got me, baby?”

Her eyes never left his. “Always,” she promised.

Tiffany felt his body clench, and then Ivan tumbled into oblivion. Seconds later, she joined him a third time before collapsing onto his chest. They held each other tightly, reverently, and then slipped away into an exhausted slumber.

* * *

The morning came too soon, and with it the painful reminder that they were out of time. Like before, they said their goodbyes, and then Tiffany followed Ivan out to his Range Rover.

He laid his forehead on hers. “I’ll call you as soon as I get there,” he promised.

“You’d better,” she said tearfully. “No matter what time it is.”

He picked her up and held her. Both were oblivious to the people staring as they walked by. They kissed a final time before Ivan climbed up into his truck and drove off. She watched until he was gone from sight before walking with heavy steps back into her apartment. She went back to the bed and crawled under the covers. She hugged the bedding tightly, Ivan’s scent still fresh.

* * *

Somehow Tiffany settled into daily life without Ivan. She learned to cope for the first month with text messages, video chats and telephone calls, but the craving she felt for Ivan was becoming tangible. Her friends tried to get her mind off his absence by inviting her out as often as they could. As he’d promised, Cole kept in constant contact with her. They were having lunch downtown one day when she said, “Have you spoken to Ivan lately?”

“Yep, I spoke with him a week ago.”

“How’d he seem to you?”

“Better now,” he replied. “I told him if he’s going to get his ass kicked every time he goes out of town, he really should think about lowering his health-insurance deductible.”

Tiffany’s fork clattered onto her plate. “What?”

Cole’s gaze snapped to her face. What he saw there made him stifle a curse.

“Cole? What’s happened to Ivan? Tell me,” she said in a voice loud enough to cause other diners to glance over at their table.

“Jeez, I’m sorry, Tiffany. I...I thought he told you. Ivan had a little run-in with some men trying to rob his client at gunpoint. That was a week ago.”

The color drained from her face. “Oh, my God. Cole, how...how little was little?”

“I swear to you that he wasn’t hurt badly, Tiff.”

She let out the breath she was holding.

“In fact, I’m shocked that Ivan didn’t tell you himself.”

“Yeah, me, too,” she whispered.

Tiffany’s worry soon gave way to anger. “How could he keep information from me like that?”

Cole looked decidedly uncomfortable. “I’m not sure, Tiffany, but I know my brother. His methods may be suspect at times, but I’m confident that Ivan was simply trying to protect you.”

She was incredulous. “Protect me?”

“Tiff, it’s his job. It’s what he does. He puts himself in harm’s way to protect others.”

“Yeah, well, who the hell protected him, huh? He’s supposed to have a team, and his plans are supposed to have backups.”

“Tiff, unexpected things happen in the field. Don’t worry. Ivan will be okay.”

“
This
time, Cole,” she said pointedly. “Ivan will be okay this time. But what about next time?”

* * *

Two days later, and
Tiffany still hadn’t heard a word from Ivan. She determined that enough was enough. It was time to get some answers herself. She took a leave of absence and put Celeste in charge, confident that that between her and the other staff, they could handle the shop while she was gone. She told Milán her plan to go to Dubai to see for herself what condition Ivan was in.

“Tiffy, are you sure?”

“What choice do I have? I’m not getting anywhere waiting for him to tell me what happened, and when he did text, he just said he was fine, so yes, I’m going. I need to get a few things straight with Colonel Mangum, and that’s better accomplished in person. Since Cole let it leak that he’s been injured, how do I know that he even told Cole the full truth? Maybe it’s more severe than even he knows. I won’t feel better until I can see him face-to-face—to know for myself that he’s on the mend.”

“I don’t know about this. I’d feel more comfortable if Adrian and I went with you.”

She hugged her best friend. “I know, Lani, and thank you, but I’ll be fine. This is something I have to do on my own. I won’t be babied by Ivan or anyone else. It’s time he found out that there’s no
I
in team.”

Chapter 20

T
here was an intruder at her door. Tiffany was in the middle of packing her passport and other travel documents when she heard a thump from the other room. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand. It was too late to be Milán, and she had just seen her an hour ago. Her heart started pounding in her chest.
She had to do something!

Silently, Tiffany grabbed her cell phone out of her purse. She crept over to her dresser and opened the top drawer. She took out the Taser that Ivan had given her. She hadn’t told him, but she had practiced several times with it, and she knew how to use it. She got it ready to fire, and then stealthily made her way out of her bedroom.

She eased along the walls, ready to defend herself. When she saw her door open, she raised the weapon and took aim.

When she saw Ivan, Tiffany cried out and dropped the Taser and her phone. She bolted across the room and threw herself into his arms.

“Ivan,” she exclaimed. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Dubai.”

She searched his face, and frowned when she saw the numerous cuts and bruises splattered along the planes of his jaw, as well as the butterfly Band-Aid over his right eye. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his face was transitioning between a five-o’clock shadow and a full-grown beard.

Her hand went to her mouth. “Ivan,” she breathed. “My God.”

“It’s okay,” he said tiredly. “I look worse than I feel. At least I do now.”

“Good.” She helped him over to the couch. Her shock and concern at seeing him were suddenly replaced with anger. When he sat down, she sat next to him and punched him in the arm.

“Ow.”

She pointed a finger into his chest. “How could you do this to me, Ivan?”

He stared at her. “Do what?”

“Withhold information.” She got up and put some distance between them. He was too close, and she needed to get everything eating away at her out in the open before she caved.

“You were hurt—and from the looks of it, badly. You didn’t think that warranted a phone call to let me know what happened? I’ve been trying to reach you for days, Ivan. Days!” she yelled. “I had no idea where you were, what was happening, or if you were...” Tiffany stopped. She couldn’t put a voice to what she had feared above all else.

“This was a complete contradiction to how we’re supposed to function. We’re a team, Ivan. A team. It’s not just about you anymore, remember? You have a responsibility to me, and I to you.”

“Tiff, I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you worrying about my condition when I was so far away and there wasn’t anything you could do.”

“That’s not your call to make, Ivan. I deserve to know if something happens to you. I should also have the right to decide if I’m going to come wherever you are to be with you. It doesn’t matter how far away you are, I’d be on the first plane to Kathmandu if you needed me. It doesn’t matter, Ivan. I’d worry about you whether you were two inches away, or two million,” she said, using his words.

“But I’m fine, Tiffany. I’m on the mend so there’s no need to worry about me.”

Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at him. Without another word, Tiffany walked away from him. She strode into the bedroom, retrieving her cell phone and Taser off the floor, and paced back and forth. Her skin felt like it was on fire, and her breath shuddered from her body as though she’d just run a marathon. Tiffany could not remember the last time she had been this angry.

She heard a knock on the door. “Tiffany, open up.”

“I don’t want to see you right now, Ivan. I’m too mad, and I’ll only say something I’ll regret later, so just leave me alone.”

“Leave you alone? I flew over seven thousand miles to see you, and now you want me to leave you alone?”

Something in his tone set her off even more. She stomped to the door, unlocked it and flung it open.

“Maybe you should have called first.”

He ran a hand over his bearded jaw. “Tiffany, you’re right. I’m sorry. I truly am. At the time I was only concerned about you worrying about me and there being nothing you can do. Involving you at that point had no upside.”

She pushed past him and strode toward the front door. She held it open and waited.

“What are you doing?” he said from behind her.

“I’ll see you later, Ivan. It’s obvious we’re just going in circles, and quite frankly, I’m exhausted. I think we need to regroup later.”

Ivan stood there. “Are you serious right now?”

“Have you heard a word I’ve said since you arrived?”

A muscle ticked in Ivan’s jaw. “Maybe you’re right. This wasn’t the reunion either of us was hoping for. We both need to get some sleep and regroup in the morning. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Good night, Tiffany,” he said, and then strode past her.

Tiffany slammed the door. Seconds later, she backed up. She was so angry, she was shaking. Unable to sit still any longer, Tiffany went to grab her purse and car keys. She hit the lights and left without a backward glance. She needed to blow off some steam, and sitting around crying wasn’t cutting it.

* * *

Ivan sat up in his bed. The movement caused him to grit his teeth. He was in pain, but wasn’t about to take the medication a doctor had prescribed. He felt like crap, but he would deal with it. After a restless night, and replaying his conversation with Tiffany in his head, he had to admit that he had handled the situation badly.

“Dude, you look like you’ve been stomped on and left for dead.”

Ivan glanced up to see his brother walking into his bedroom.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you, but why are you here? I thought you went to Tiffany’s last night.” Cole looked over at the closed bathroom door. “Am I interrupting?”

“No. Tiffany’s not here. I came home last night.”

“Uh...why?”

“We had a disagreement,” Ivan ground out. “I don’t know what the hell happened. One minute we were happy, and the next she was railing on me for not telling her about getting hurt.”

“Can you blame her?” Cole reasoned. “Ivan, you should’ve seen Tiffany’s face when I let it slip that you’d been hurt. She was floored.”

Ivan sighed heavily. “I know. I just didn’t want to worry her. I figured I’d tell her about it when I got here. There was nothing she could do about it, and I was on the mend.”

“I don’t think that was her point, big brother.”

“I know.”

“This is her first time dealing with your crazy schedule, Ivan. Her worst fears are realized when she finds out you’ve been hurt, and then you tell her it’s none of her business?”

“I didn’t say it like that. I was there and she was here, and I didn’t want her worrying needlessly, Cole.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that your family is used to how you operate, and the demands of your career. Your girlfriend,” he stressed, “is not.”

Ivan was thoughtful. Finally he said, “I get it.” He nodded at Cole. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now, I suggest you try to get some sleep, then take a long shower, a much-needed shave, and get your head on straight before you see Tiffany again. No offense, big brother, but you look kinda shabby.”

* * *

“Okay, I’ve let you brood. Now do you want to talk about it?”

Tiffany gazed out over Lake Michigan from her vantage point at Navy Pier. She thought surrounding herself with lots of laughter and excitement would ease the hurt and pain she still felt, but she was wrong. Her disappointment had grown over the past day and still remained front and center in her mind.

“What’s the point?” she said woodenly. “Is that going to make Ivan any different? Will it change me?”

“Tiff, this blowup between you just happened yesterday. It’s raw, and it’s still new. You have to talk it out. That’s the only way you’ll get past it,” Milán reasoned.

“Until when? The next time we have a huge argument? I can’t believe he said my feelings didn’t matter. Like I don’t have the right to be concerned about his life. He’s got it all under control. I couldn’t possibly understand, or help, or add value to his life. If that’s the case, what am I doing in it?”

“Sweetie, you know he didn’t say that.”

“He might as well have.” Tiffany swiped angrily at her tears. “I was stupid to think it could work—that
we
could work.”

“Okay, now you’re just being silly. You two are great together. Sure, you’ve had a fight, but all couples do, Tiffany. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll get past it.”

“I’m not being silly, I’m being realistic. He doesn’t need anything, or anybody. I’m supposed to just sit back and watch him get hurt, or worse, and not have an opinion or believe that it was all because he wanted to protect me? Like I’m some porcelain doll that will shatter into pieces if handled too roughly? Well, I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for me.”

Her cell phone chirped. Tiffany reached into her purse and retrieved it. She took one look at the screen and put it back.

“That’s Ivan, right?”

She simply nodded.

“Tiff, it’s the sixth time he’s called since we’ve been here. How many more from last night and this morning? It’s obvious that he’s trying to reach you to make things right. Why won’t you hear him out?”

“What’s left to say? I was about to turn my life upside down and fly halfway around the world because I was worried to death about him, Lani. And for what? So he can make it seem like I was the one overreacting? He buys me a Taser, gives me self-defense lessons and practically checks under couches in my apartment for burglars to make sure
I’m
safe, but I’m not supposed to care about his safety?”

Her phone chirped again. She snatched it up and turned the power off.

“Tiffany—”

“Forget it. I’m going to work. At least that will take my mind off this whole sordid mess. Ivan coming home was all I could think about for weeks now, but—”

“Focus on that,” Milán interjected. “I promise you everything else will work itself out.”

Tiffany hugged her best friend, but refrained from comment.

* * *

Ivan sat in his truck outside of Tiffany’s apartment building, at a complete loss for what to do next. He’d called her cell and work number countless times with no success. He’d even broken down and called Norma Jean, hoping to find her there, but the only thing she had offered was a stern lecture on the stupidity of men. Ivan was in no mood, and ended the call the moment he could interject a word in the middle of her tirade.

Yes, I messed up, but I’m not letting another hour go by before I try to fix it.

Ivan took a few deep breaths and mentally prepared himself for an uphill battle. He would not retreat, no matter the cost. The discord between him and Tiffany could not go on another night. With a determined glint in his eyes, Ivan got out and strode into the building with purposeful steps. He was prepared to do whatever it took to fix the fracture in his relationship with Tiffany. Failure was completely unacceptable.

When he reached her door, he knocked firmly and waited. It was the second time that week he’d found himself on the wrong side of one. He could almost sense the moment Tiffany came up to the peephole, looked out and tried to decide if she would let him in. He was not taking any chances.

“Tiffany, please open the door. I’d really like to talk to you.”

Silence.

“A few minutes is all I ask. After that, I’ll leave if you want me to.”

Painful seconds ticked by, and then she was standing in front of him. Relief washed through him. She stepped aside, allowing him to enter.

“Have a seat.”

Ivan lowered himself to the couch, but sat right on the edge as though unable to relax. Tiffany sat across from him. His gazed missed nothing. She looked fatigued, her eyes red and puffy, and she appeared as miserable as he felt. His stomach tightened.

“I understand why you wouldn’t take my calls or see me. I appreciate your making an exception this time.”

She nodded.

He decided to plunge right in. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Tiffany. I shouldn’t have kept you in the dark about what happened. I only wanted to protect you from worrying about me. But I see now that wasn’t the best way to handle it.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she replied. “But maybe it was your way of telling me that now isn’t the best time for us to be in a relationship. Maybe the last thing you want or need right now is a girlfriend.”

Ivan was stunned. “I’m not letting you run away at the first sign of trouble. Relationships take work, Tiffany. We’ve both got issues to own up to and deal with. If you think I’m throwing in the towel because of one fight, think again.”

She jumped to her feet. “One fight? You told me caring about you wasn’t my business,” she accused.

“That’s not what I meant. I merely wanted to keep you from worrying about me from seven thousand miles away. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Upset me? So you thought you’d wait until you were right in front of me to kick me in the teeth? Gee, thanks.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Then how was it? Tell me, Ivan. I want to know, because just saying you did it for my own good isn’t cutting it. It was selfish, inconsiderate and just plain uncaring for you to keep me in the dark about what happened to you.”

“I thought it was better that way.”

“Why?”

“Because it was bad news.”

Tiffany looked confused. “What does that matter?”

“The last long-distance relationship I was in imploded, and it wasn’t just because of the infidelity. She...she wasn’t good at hearing bad news. She said it was nerve-racking and stressful for her to hear when I’d been injured. So I stopped mentioning it. And there was no way I wanted to take the chance of it happening again. I can’t lose you, Tiffany,” he said with despair.

“Ivan, I’m not Debra. I want to know and hear everything that goes on with you. Do you know how hurt I felt knowing that you hadn’t been honest with me? That you told Cole what happened and not me? It broke my heart. I love you, Ivan, and the thought of losing you was only worsened by the fact that I wouldn’t even have known it.”

She was crying in earnest now. Ivan walked over and tried to wipe her tears, but she turned away from him.