‘I want us to have
sex.
’
‘Meaningless sex.’ The empty, emotionless joining of bodies that led to a brief, unsatisfying climax held zero appeal for him. He didn’t want that with her.
‘No.’ She frowned back at him. ‘I mean, yes, but not
totally
meaningless...something somewhere in the middle... I don’t know... I don’t have much—that’s not the point!’
A surge of affection lifted the corner of his mouth. ‘Might need you to explain that a little better...’
‘Don’t look at me like that.’
Suddenly she was more scared than he’d ever seen her look before—even when she saw him roughing up a low life in an alley.
‘Come here.’ He took a step forwards and reached out to draw her back into his arms.
She took a step back and left her hands at her sides. ‘We’re not
dating,
’ she said firmly. ‘You don’t have to spoon on the romance to get me into bed.’
‘We’re not having a quick roll between the sheets, either,’ he replied with equal determination. ‘If that’s what you’re looking for it’s a deal-breaker. We do this, we do it my way.’
‘Which is what, exactly?’
His reply got stuck in his throat, what he wanted to say suppressed by self-doubt. He’d known Jo for
years
before he thought he felt something more—had debated telling her for months and ultimately was glad he hadn’t. If he was wrong again, if he’d misjudged, if the day of reckoning came and he was too far gone to haul himself back from the gates of hell—
‘What kind of game are you playing?’
The tremor in her voice tore a hole in his gut.
‘I’m not playing a game,’ he replied flatly.
‘I won’t be your rebound.’
‘You’re not.’
She was clearly confused—and she had every right to be. Her gaze frantically searched the air above his head. Then it slammed into his, her tone heavy with suspicion. ‘Are you doing this to control me and keep me in line?’
He flicked a brief glare her way. ‘I’m gonna let that one slide ’cos I know you have trust issues.’
‘You were given the talk, weren’t you?’
Tyler frowned again. ‘What talk?’
‘The talk Lou Mitchell gives to all the new bodyguards at the mansion about boundaries. It never occurred to me before but now it makes sense...’ Fire blazed in her eyes, incinerating her fear. ‘What did he say to you?’
Tyler froze when he realized what she meant. He wouldn’t lie to her but if it was taken out of context—
‘What did he
say?
’
The rise in her voice drew the attention of some of the people at the other end of the deck.
‘You need to calm down,’ he said in a lower voice.
‘I’ll calm down when you tell me what he said.’
No, she wouldn’t. Not if she didn’t let him get it all out. Hauling in a deep breath, he took a run at it. ‘He said to do whatever I had to do to—’
‘Wow.’
‘I’m not finished.’
She laughed sarcastically. ‘Oh, you’ve said more than enough. Congratulations.’ Her hands lifted in front of her body to reward him with a round of applause.
‘Well played.’
Tyler popped his jaw. ‘Miranda—’
‘How do I get off this damn boat?’
It might have been something that worked in his favour if they hadn’t been so close to Manhattan. When she yanked open the door and headed inside, he followed her. ‘We need to talk about this.’
‘No, we don’t.’ Her gaze searched for exit signs as an announcement was made about their arrival.
‘You haven’t got the full picture.’
‘Believe me, it’s in high definition.’ She spun on her heel and marched towards the other end of the boat. ‘I won’t be manipulated by you or anyone else.’
He reached for her elbow. ‘I’m not manipulating—’
Yanking her arm out of his reach, she swung on him with enough ice to freeze boiling water. ‘Don’t. Touch. Me.’
Tyler was about two seconds away from losing it. ‘We’re gonna talk about this whether you like it or not. But not here.’
‘We’re done talking.’ She angled her chin with blatant contempt. ‘And don’t worry—you won’t have to give up any more of your precious time to amuse me as a reward for good behaviour. Just be thankful you didn’t have to prostitute yourself to get the job done. But then you never intended to cross that line, did you? Everyone has their limits.’
‘Step too far with that one, princess.’
‘You’re
fired
.’
‘You can’t do that.’
‘I just did.’ She smirked and turned away, using her hundred-watt smile to flirt her way through a group of tourists to the front of the line.
When the rest of the passengers moved forwards he had to push his way through, his gaze firmly fixed on a head of flame-red hair. ‘Excuse me. Sorry. Coming through...’ He had to jog a little in the terminal to catch up. ‘Still trying to cut me loose?’
No reply but she picked up the pace.
Tyler simply lengthened his stride. ‘Long walk back to the mansion from here.’ He nodded when she lifted her chin. ‘Okay. Silent treatment is fine with me.’ He held open a glass door for her and followed her outside. ‘I’ll talk. You listen.’
‘Go to hell.’
‘That the best you’ve got?’
She stopped dead in her tracks, turned, took a step forwards and swung a palm at his face. He caught her wrist in midair, glared at her from the corner of his eye in warning and then loosened his grip when he saw the horror of what she’d almost done in her eyes. It was a strategic mistake because the second he did she twisted it free, shoved both hands into his chest and caught him off balance. His heels caught on the kerb behind him and the next thing he knew he was sitting on his ass in wet grass.
Planting her fists on her hips she angled her chin and snapped, ‘Is
that
better?’
It caused the kind of life-changing epiphany Tyler hadn’t seen coming. For a moment he simply stared at her in shock. Then a vibration started in his chest, moving upwards into the base of his throat. The sound was rusty from lack of use, but familiar.
‘You choose
now
to laugh?’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘You’re a twisted individual.’
When she spun around and marched to the edge of the road to hail a cab Tyler scrambled to his feet and jogged after her to try a more persuasive tone. ‘If you let me tell you the rest of the sentence we can clear this up.’
‘I don’t want to clear it up,’ she retorted. ‘I want you to stay away from me.’
‘You don’t want that any more than I do.’
The convulsion of her throat gave him an indication of how hurt she was, instantly causing him pain in response. ‘You don’t care what I want.’
‘You couldn’t be more wrong about that.’
It made her glance sideways at him as a cab pulled up but she didn’t look him in the eye. ‘Don’t follow me.’
He frowned. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’
‘
Home.
Not that it’s your problem any more.’ She lifted her chin again. ‘I have three weeks left to serve on my sentence. Once they’re done I’m going to go out into the big wide world, find the first available guy who’ll spend time with me because he wants to and not because he’s being paid to do it, and I’ll have meaningless sex with him until neither of us can stand up.’
‘No, you won’t,’ he said with conviction while the words stirred another savage streak of territorialism. ‘We’ve already had that talk.’
‘Wind up a mechanized toy, you shouldn’t be surprised when it keeps moving after you set it down.’ She frowned when he placed a palm on the top of the door to stop it from opening. ‘Let me go.’
‘I’m going to,’ he said reluctantly before taking a step closer. ‘But only to give you long enough to calm down. When you’re thinking clearly and have questions you know how to find me.’ He gave her something to mull over. ‘You might want to make one of them why I kissed you the way I did.’
Pushing against his palm, he stood tall, dropped his arm to his side and watched her get into the cab. As it left it felt as if part of him went with it, but he guessed he would have to get used to that.
When his phone rang he waited a few moments before answering it. ‘Brannigan.’
‘You wanna go on a stake-out?’ his partner enquired.
Tyler’s blood chilled. ‘You found him?’
‘Maybe...’ There was a brief pause. ‘Turns out your friend Jimmy has been worrying enough about being seen as a snitch to become one.’
‘I’m on my way.’
TWENTY-TWO
The club encompassed a city block with a dance floor, live DJ and a seating area for private parties at the back. Despite the fact it was a Sunday night and many of them had work in the morning, it was packed with a hip Manhattan crowd of twenty-to-thirty-somethings.
Miranda was at the bar with Crystal. She’d bought the first drink to sip while she tried to calm down. When it had the same medicinal effect associated with a stiff brandy she ordered another. The numbness that set in with her third was more welcome than any of the little umbrellas lined up side by side would ever know.
There were four of them now, not counting the one in her glass. They were pretty. She’d decided to see how many colours she could collect.
‘You know what
really
bugs me?’ she yelled over the music. ‘By allowing me to throw myself at him like some kind of desperate woman he made me feel
needy.
I don’t do
needy.
If I was
needy
I’d sleep with every guy who showed an interest in me.’ She waved a limp-wristed hand in the general direction of the man hovering nearby. ‘Like that guy over there. He’s cute and he’s been smiling at me for the last ten minutes.’
‘He’s the bartender and you’ve been tipping him the price of your drink every time you buy one,’ Crystal said dryly while attempting to take the cocktail glass from her. ‘I think that’s enough alcohol for you, young lady. You never could hold your liquor.’
When Miranda moved the glass out of her reach some of the liquid splashed over her hand. ‘If you weren’t trying to take it off me, I wouldn’t be spilling it.’ She scowled. To solve the problem she downed the colourful contents. ‘I love this song. Let’s dance. I want to dance.’
‘We should probably get you home—or to my place for coffee. Coffee would be good.’
‘I don’t want coffee and I’m not going home. I want to have
fun.
’ When the screen of her cell phone flashed on the bar beside the empty glass she picked it up and squinted at the caller ID. ‘
Ugh,
he just can’t take a hint, can he?’
‘He won’t be happy when he finds you like this.’
Miranda rejected the call with a flourish and set her phone down. ‘I don’t
care.
’
‘Yes, you do. That’s half the problem.’
‘
He
doesn’t care. He’s only spending time with me because it’s his
job.
’
‘And there’s the other half...’
She blinked. ‘Is there something
wrong
with me?’
‘Of course there’s not,’ Crystal said with conviction. ‘You’re a beautiful, sexy woman. Any guy would want you. Have a glass of water.’
‘I thought he wanted me as much as I want him. I mean, when he kisses me—
wow—
and when he touches me—
boom!
Fireworks, y’know what I mean? He makes me.
So. Hot.
But does he follow through, even when he has permission to...’ she made speech marks in the air with her fingers
‘...do whatever he needs to do to keep me out of trouble?’
She rocked back and announced, ‘He’s a tease. I didn’t think guys did that.’
‘Who knew?’ Her best friend nudged the glass a little closer. ‘Take a sip, it’s very refreshing.’
‘It should
not
be this hard to get laid. Do you know I don’t even know what an orgasm feels like with company?’
The comment earned a somewhat blurry-around-the-edges expression of interest. ‘I did
not
know that. And it’s a conversation we’ll be having when you’re sober. One little sip for Auntie Crystal, there’s a good girl...’
‘I bet when he gives a girl an orgasm it knocks her socks off. Not that I’m likely to find out any time soon. No toe-curling bliss on the horizon for me. Being the mayor’s daughter is like wearing a
giant chastity belt.
’
‘Would you prefer fizzy water?’
‘And what the hell was he thinking taking me home to meet his family?’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘They’re wonderful. Did I tell you how wonderful they are?’
‘About a half-dozen times...’
‘Can I get you ladies another drink?’ a voice said beside them.
Crystal smiled sweetly. ‘I’ll give you twenty bucks to shake your cute little cocktail shaker elsewhere.’
‘They’re exactly the kind of family I’d like to have some day,’ Miranda continued. ‘I love the whole meeting-up-for-Sunday-lunch thing.’ She sat a little straighter. ‘But we’re not a
couple.
I don’t want to
fall in love
with him.
’
‘Are you?’
‘Am I what?’
‘Falling in love with him...?’
‘No!’
she replied vehemently before taking a beat. ‘Maybe... I don’t know... I don’t
want
to be.’
‘How come?’
The tears she’d been battling since she left the ferry terminal threatened to break free, forcing her to take several deep breaths before she replied. ‘Because then I’d belong to him and I’d really like him to belong to me for a little while.’ She flicked her hair over her shoulder. ‘I don’t want to talk about this any more. It’s depressing. If you love me, you’ll dance with me.’
‘I do and I would.’ Crystal glanced over her shoulder. ‘But I have a sneaking suspicion you’re about to be carried out of here...’
Miranda twisted around, lifted her gaze and frowned. ‘Go away, Tyler. I don’t
like you.
’
His gaze shifted. ‘How much has she had?’
‘Too much,’ Crystal replied. ‘Not that it takes much to begin with—she’s always been a cheap date that way. I’ve been trying to get her to go home for the last half hour.’
‘I’ll take it from here.’
‘Go easy on her. She’s hurting for a reason.’
‘I know.’
Miranda shook her head in disbelief and regretted it the second the room began to spin. ‘That’s it—go right ahead and talk about me like I’m not here. Start making decisions for me and you’ll both be like everyone else in my life who doesn’t give a crap about how I feel.’ She raised her arm high above her head and waggled her fingers. ‘Hey,
cute guy,
drink me!’
‘You’ve reached your limit,’ Tyler said firmly as he lifted her cell phone and took her elbow. ‘And you’re gonna apologize to Crystal for that in the morning. Thanks for the heads up on her location.’
The last part made Miranda gasp. ‘You sent for him? How
could you?
’ Taught her not to leave her cell phone on the bar when she went to the restroom, didn’t it?
At least Crystal had the decency to look apologetic. ‘Because it’s not me that you need to be talking to right now and you’d never forgive yourself if you made it into the papers this close to Election Day.’
‘Up you get,’ Tyler ordered.
‘I’m not leaving.’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘Make me.’
‘Okay.’
When he bent down and tossed her effortlessly over her shoulder, Miranda struggled. ‘Put me down!’
‘Bye, Crystal.’
‘Bye, Tyler.’
‘Stop him!’ she yelled at the bouncer on the door before hiccupping. ‘I’m being kidnapped!’
‘No, she’s not.’ Tyler simply rearranged her weight to flash his shield. ‘NYPD.’
‘Isn’t that the mayor’s daughter?’ the bouncer asked.
‘She’s one of those lookalikes,’ Tyler said as he walked away. ‘Been conning free drinks all over town...’
‘Put me
down!
’ Miranda repeated while she was carried down the sidewalk. ‘Women
hate it
when guys do this.’
He muttered a reply that sounded as if it included the words ‘worked for’ and ‘Brannigan’ and ‘when he did’ before raising his voice to inform her, ‘You’re gonna have the hangover from hell in the morning.’
‘Why should you care?’ she asked his broad back.
‘The thought I might scares the life out of you, doesn’t it?’
She lifted her chin. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You’re a flight risk. I knew that at the start. What I didn’t know was why.’
‘But you think you do
now?
’
His head nodded against her flank. ‘This is what you do when things get too much—you run away to find solace in having fun. Up till now it’s been the life you didn’t want and how claustrophobic you felt. This time it’s me.’
Miranda spluttered, ‘Arrogant much?’
‘This isn’t you. You’re more than this.’
‘You don’t
know me.
’
He took a deep breath she felt against her legs. ‘You’re an amazing woman with the potential to do equally amazing things with her life. Is this how you’re gonna deal with your problems when you’re forty? Whether you like it or not I do care so when you’re ready to talk about what’s bothering you let me know.’
‘I already tried that,’ she said in a smaller voice.
‘No, you didn’t. You ran away.’
The truth silenced her while he set her on her feet. Swaying a little she pushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up at him. Damn him for being so big and strong and bulletproof. She
hated
that he could make her feel so small and weak and vulnerable. She didn’t want to fall for him.
It would be so much simpler if she wasn’t.
When her lower lip trembled she bit down on it.
The pad of a thumb stilled the movement. ‘Don’t do that. You’ll make it bleed.’
The husky edge to his voice twisted her heart into a tight little ball. She didn’t want tenderness from him. Not if he was going to take it with him when he left. ‘You’re looking at me the way I don’t like again,’ she complained.
He shouldn’t make promises with his eyes he wasn’t prepared to keep. But what was worse was how it made her
feel.
At the beginning he excited her—he still did—but along the way he also surprised and challenged her, making her re-evaluate her life and what she wanted from it. She would do it—she would give up her freedom to be with him.
She would give up
everything.
How had he made her feel that way in just a few weeks?
His thumb brushed across her cheek before he dropped his hand to his side. ‘Let’s get you home.’
Miranda allowed him to move her around so he could open the door and help her inside. She gazed at his profile as he leaned in to click her seat belt into place, saw him glance at her from the corner of his eye and wished she knew what to say. How was she supposed to tell him what she’d felt when he kissed her—lost and found, hopeful and hopeless, joyous and afraid? It was so many things at once.
It felt as if she belonged in his arms. But he’d had an opportunity to correct her when she said neither of them wanted to make a commitment and he hadn’t. It wasn’t his fault she’d discovered she wanted something more. The thought of her life without him in it
sucked.
When she’d thought he was only spending time with her because he had to the ground dropped out from under her feet.
It had hurt.
So. Much.
She hauled in a ragged breath and blinked when her vision blurred. As she did long fingers closed around the hand in her lap and she lowered her chin, watching as she turned her palm into his. She loved holding his hand but if she had one wish it would be to hear him laugh again so she could take the time to appreciate the sound. She’d waited so long to hear it. What if it never happened again?
If they just had a little more time...
‘Will you tell me the rest of the sentence?’ she asked in the same small voice as before.
Tyler didn’t need an explanation, the deep rumble of his voice washing over her in a soothing caress. ‘He said to do whatever I had to do to keep you safe because you don’t know how vulnerable you are in the spotlight.’
‘That’s not true.’ She attempted to smile through her tears. ‘I’ve always been vulnerable in the spotlight. I used to get stage fright. Threw up every time I had to appear in public—got reminded of it when we went to lunch today. I was scared people would find me lacking in any one of a dozen different ways. Not smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough or dressed well enough. It’s why I took the part in the play during senior year in high school. I figured if I tackled my confidence issues head on...’
When her voice trailed off he squeezed her hand. ‘People love you within minutes of meeting you. I’ve watched it happen.’
‘They don’t have to spend much time with me.’
‘Well, there is
that.
’
Miranda chuckled, hiccupped and then sniffled before leaning back against the headrest. She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she was being carried up the stairs of the mansion in a much more romantic position. Snuggling closer to his neck, she took a long breath of Tyler-scented air and sighed contentedly.
This
she could definitely learn to live with. Being protected from the world wasn’t so bad the way he did it. He even took her shoes off and tucked her into bed.
When he disappeared without saying anything she tried to lift her heavy head to see where he’d gone. Then the mattress dipped beside her, a fingertip brushed her hair off her forehead and he was leaning over her.
Looking deep into his eyes, she tried to remember what her life was like before he walked into it. Considering it hadn’t been that long ago, it shouldn’t have been difficult, but all she knew was how alone she’d felt without him, how overly defensive she’d been when she discovered he was her bodyguard, how much she’d loved their little adventures and that she owed him an apology for knocking him on his ass. She couldn’t believe she’d been angry enough to hit him.
What must he think of her?
‘Why do you put up with me?’ she asked.
‘You’re cute when you’re drunk.’
‘I’m more trouble than I’m worth.’
‘We’ll debate that one another time.’ He trailed his fingers along her cheek and watched the movement with one of his more intense gazes. ‘Go back to sleep.’
‘Stay with me?’ she whispered. It was a loaded request but she couldn’t stop herself making it.
‘I can’t. Even if we weren’t in the mayor’s house, I had to leave a stake-out to come rescue you.’ He drew in a long, measured breath and slowly exhaled. ‘I gotta go back. There’s something I have to do. If it doesn’t turn out so great...’ He frowned before looking into her eyes. ‘Just remember if I had a choice, things would be different.’