Her Mother's Daughter (22 page)

“Hate you? I love you.” She jumped up from the table and smothered Ashley in her generous bosom. “I'll help. I'm available for babysitting every night of the week and you never have to pay me.”

Dermot spent a long and wearying day at the garage trying to keep his mind off Tansy and Bay. He still couldn't believe everything had gone so wrong. And now there was no way he could talk to either of them, because he didn't dare call the house. He'd have to sit and cool his heels until one or both of them got in touch. That wouldn't help his mood any.

He finally headed for home after locking up the garage. All that awaited him was a couple of tins of beans, but he was in no mood to go grocery shopping. As he drove up Main Street he was aware of Bay's street up ahead. He told himself to keep looking straight but he didn't. As he passed the road he strained to see Bay's house. A rush of relief went through him when he saw that Tansy's Porsche was still in the driveway. But the fact that he was relieved was disturbing.

He and Tansy had no future. Not in this town. And who said he wanted one with her anyway?

When he got home he put the kettle on to make a pot of tea but soon realized he didn't have a tea bag in the house, so he grabbed his keys and wallet and hightailed it up to the corner store. It was a lovely warm summer night, perfect for a stroll. There were plenty of tourists about. You could always pick them out, with their fanny packs and sunhats on. They were the town's lifeblood in the summer and helped local businesses weather the long, quiet winters.

Dermot entered the store and went to the back where the teabags were. He started to walk back up the aisle when who walked into the store but Tansy. Without thinking, he ducked behind some shelves, which was ridiculous, because didn't he want to speak to her?

He watched her from his vantage point. Her face was pale and she looked weary, with her beautiful blonde hair held back haphazardly with an elastic. Obviously Bay had raked her over the coals, and that made him angry. He wondered what he should do, but before he could figure it out, Tansy looked in his direction. Startled, she turned around and walked right out of the store. Without thinking, he left the box of teabags on the shelf in front of him and rushed after her. She was halfway down the block by the time he got outside.

“Tansy, wait!”

She kept walking, so he had to run to catch up with her. He put his hand on her shoulder as he came up behind her. She shrugged it off. “Leave me alone.”

“Just a minute, please.”

Tansy stopped and faced him. “There is nothing that you and I have to talk about. It's all over. Bay knows and I don't plan on causing her any more pain. So stay away from me, Dermot.”

“I want to know if you're all right. Bay was so angry when she left. I worried about you all day.”

“I can take care of myself.”

He glanced up the road towards Bay's street. “What did she say? I suppose she hates me now.”

“I think she hates both of us at the moment.”

Dermot looked back at her. “She won't make you leave town, will she?”

Tansy hesitated.

“Don't leave.”

“Why?”

He hung his head. “I don't want to be the reason that you and Bay are apart. I think she needs someone. I thought that someone was me. I don't want her to be alone.”

Tansy looked out towards the water. “She's not going to be alone. I'm staying here, as awkward as that may be for all of us.”

“Do you think there will ever be a chance of…”

“…you and Bay together? Of course there's a chance. Be patient and let her calm down. She'll come around in the end. I have to go, Dermot. I'll see you around.”

She walked away quickly before he could say another word.

A couple of days later, Tansy sat on the swing, Merlin at her feet. Her eyes lingered on the bright greenery of the vegetables growing in straight, neat rows in the garden. She could pick out the lacy carrot tops and the tangled leaves of runner beans, but she wasn't sure about the rest. Why didn't she listen when her mother told her about the garden? She could see her mom now, on her knees, humming as she worked the soil. Bay would stay beside her and watch, but Tansy was always too restless. She'd flit and dance around the edges instead. If only she'd stopped and learned. Now it seemed rather a miracle that one could plant a tiny seed and have it ripen into a fat red tomato or a pod of tiny perfect peas.

A screen door slammed and out marched Flo to hang up her dishtowels on the clothesline. Tansy ignored her, which only made Flo's muttering louder. Tansy finally looked at her. “If you've got something to say, say it.”

“Well, it's a poor house that can't keep one lady,” Flo scowled.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Get off your arse and weed the garden for your sister.”

Tansy would have if she knew what was a weed and what was an actual vegetable, but she wasn't going to tell Flo that.

“You're a joy to be around, Flo. No wonder Ira loves you so much.”

Flo flicked her apron and stalked off. “Saucy brats will be the death of me.”

Tansy sighed as she continued to wait for Bay and Ashley to come back from the doctor's office. She'd offered to go with them, but Bay said she wasn't needed, and Ashley was too preoccupied to care. When she finally heard the car pull in the driveway, she got up and headed for the house with Merlin beside her. They met at the back door.

“How did it go?” She held the door open for them and naturally Merlin went in first.

“It was awful.” Ashley brushed past her and walked into the kitchen.

“Awful?”

“Don't listen to her.” Bay went in as well. Tansy brought up the rear and closed the screen door behind her.

Ashley sat at the kitchen table and cupped her chin in her hand. “There are so many things to remember. I don't know what he was talking about.”

Tansy sat beside her. “What kind of things?”

“I don't know. Pills and stuff.”

Bay sat down as well, and rooted through her purse. “I've written it down. All we have to get are some prenatal vitamins and folic acid.”

“Did he say when the baby's due?”

Mother and daughter glanced at each other. “Christmas,” they said at the same time.

Tansy smiled. “Maybe it will be born on your birthday.”

Ashley frowned. “I'm going to put it up for adoption.”

Tansy and Bay stared at her. It was Bay who spoke. “When did you decide this? Is it something you and Matt talked about?”

“When that doctor kept harping about what I have to do. It suddenly hit me. I'm not going to remember any of it; ultrasounds and appointments. There's too much to do and the baby isn't even here. What's it going to be like when it does get here? It's terrifying.”

Tansy put her hand out and placed it over Ashley's. “You're overwhelmed at the moment. You don't have to remember everything at once. You'll be fine.”

“What do you know about it?” Ashley said. “You never had a kid.”

Tansy pulled her hand away.

Bay spoke up. “There's no need to take it out on us, Ashley. It doesn't help.”

“Sorry.” Ashley folded her arms on the table and laid her head on top of them. “I feel like jumping out of my skin.”

“It's called hormones,” Tansy informed her. “They're running amok at the moment.”

“Do you really want to give this baby away?” Bay asked her.

Ashley hid her face. She didn't say anything for a few moments and then came a muffled “No.”

“What does Matt think?” her mother asked.

She sat up. “He says it's up to me. Which is stupid, because why do I have to decide everything?”

“It's no doubt hard for him to know what to say,” Tansy said. “He knows it's your body, and so it's ultimately your decision.”

“I know his mother thinks I should have an abortion. Just flush it away like it never existed. So even if I wanted to, I'd never do it, just to bug her.”

They sat in silence for a while. That's when Tansy brought up something she'd been mulling over. “I'm going to sell the Porsche. It's nuts to have such a fancy car in this neck of the woods. We'll need the money when the baby comes.”

“You don't have to do that,” Ashley said.

“I'd like to.”

Bay picked at her thumbnail and didn't look at her sister. “So you're going to stay, then?”

“Well, of course I'm going to stay. I told you that.”

“You say a lot of things you don't mean.”

“
Mom.
”

Tansy patted her niece's hand but looked at Bay. “Well, I mean this. We're going to have to stick together. You don't make a lot of money, and Ashley won't be working until the baby is older, and we'll need money for their future. I have a few other things I can sell, and I plan on looking for a job, too.”

“A job? What on earth do you do besides sidle up to rich men?”

Tansy rose from her chair. “You can insult me all day, but you're not going to make me run away so you can have the satisfaction of saying
‘
I told you so.' I'm in this to the end, Bay, like it or lump it.”

Tansy turned around and went upstairs to her room.

Ashley gave her mother an incredulous look. “What is wrong with you? Why are you so mean to her all the time? She's only trying to help.”

Bay looked away.

“You know what, Mom? Right now, I feel like the adult in this room.” Ashley rose from the table and followed her aunt upstairs.

Bay got up and went outdoors to the swing. Looking at the garden made her feel better. Then she closed her eyes and imagined her mother sitting beside her.
What do you think, Mom? Did I do a good
job with the vegetables this year? Am I doing anything right? Anything at
all?

She didn't know how long she sat there, but when she finally opened her eyes, the sun had set and there was a definite chill in the air. Her limbs were stiff as she got off the swing and walked back into the kitchen. She heard the television on in the living room, so she poked her head in. Tansy sat on the couch and Ashley was fast asleep, wrapped in her blanket, with her head in Tansy's lap.

Tansy looked up at her. “We were watching tv and she fell asleep. She's emotionally exhausted, the poor kid.”

Bay walked over to the wing chair and sat down heavily. “She's not the only one. I'm sorry about what I said earlier. It's like I say things without thinking.”

“That's okay.”

“What a mess.” Bay rubbed her forehead. “I can't believe we're in this predicament.”

Tansy shrugged and absent-mindedly brushed Ashley's hair off her face. “Life is about lurching from crisis to crisis.”

There was something in Tansy's face that touched Bay. “Is that how it's been for you all these years?”