Her Own Best Enemy (The Remnants, Book 1) (30 page)

He sat, unfamiliar butterflies taking wing in his stomach. What did he know about putting children to sleep? He’d never had bedtime stories or songs. His mother rarely even checked on him to make sure he’d gone to bed.

He rubbed his hands along the creases in his pants. “So...”

“Do you know any stories?”

“’Fraid not.”

Ryker shrugged beneath the blanket. “That’s okay. You can just sit with me until I fall asleep.”

An awkward silence filled the room for several moments before Ryker sighed. “Do you ever get lonely?”

Keith swallowed. “I imagine everyone gets lonely sometimes,” he said, skirting the question. He didn’t want to examine the stirring in his heart that spoke of just how lonely he was for Grace. And he hadn’t even left her yet.

“My mom says she never gets lonely, but I think she’s just saying that.” Ryker’s eyes widened. “I mean...she’s not...well, she’s not lying to me or anything. It’s just...she doesn’t want me to feel bad, you know?”

“You’ve got a great mom.”

“Yeah...but...” Ryker fisted his hands in the blanket. “You’re leaving anyway, right?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. A grenade of emotion lodged in his throat and threatened to explode. Ryker was far more perceptive for his eight years than he led on. Keith opened his eyes and reached out to clasp one of Ryker’s hands in his.

“I have to go back to Fort Bragg. There’s this thing called a court martial, and, um, it’s a big deal in the Army.” He gave Ryker’s hand a final gentle squeeze and then released it. “My career in the Army is at stake. I have to go back.”

Ryker scrunched his nose. “And, once you deal with the court Martian thingy you’ll be back?

Keith chuckled. “Martial. Not Martian.” He waved a hand. “The thing is, the Army sends me where I’m needed. And...I’m not needed here anymore.”

Not by Grace, anyhow. She didn’t need anyone. Hadn’t she spent practically every moment of their time together convincing him of that?

Ryker frowned. “Who says?”

“My commanding officer...that’s my boss.”

“But...what if...what if I need you? My dad is gone.” His eyes glistened with tears, but he straightened up in bed with a bravado that dared anyone to question his maturity. “I’m old enough to know that when you’re dead, you’re dead. You can’t come back, you know? Even if, like, I needed to ask him something—you know, like man-to-man type of stuff. Or like if I wanted to practice my baseball swing with him. He can’t be there for me. I just thought…” His shoulders sagged and he slouched deeper into the blankets. “Never mind.”

Keith blew out a breath. So this was what Ryker had been trying to muster the courage to say. His chest tightened.
Oh, Kid, I’m not what you need.

Keith wanted to make a promise that he’d always be around for him, but that was presumptuous and irresponsible.

He dug in the pocket of his pants and pulled out his deck of cards from their waterproof pouch. The corners of the cards were worn and familiar in his hands. More friend than some of the real people he’d dealt with over the years. He set them on the nightstand.

“I want you to have these. When I was your age, I was alone a lot, and playing cards helped pass the time and keep me from feeling sad.”

“Cool. Thanks, Keith.”

“And, you can call me anytime. Okay, buddy? I’ll leave my number with your mom. If I’m available, I’ll take your call. I promise.”

Ryker smiled around a yawn, his eyes drifting closed. “Okay.”

Keith patted his leg. “Okay. Now, you get some sleep.”

“Wait. I forgot.” Ryker’s eyes popped wide. “A man came to see me when I was in that place.”

Keith’s smile froze, a chill icing his blood. “What man?”

Ryker’s brow furrowed. “Not the same one who took you away. He was like...like Robocop...you know, all shiny and stuff on his legs. But he acted funny. Like he was afraid or something. He asked me to hold this piece of paper for him until he could come back to get it.”

“Where is it now?”

“I put it in my pocket.” Ryker shrugged. “The man said he’d be back for it, but he never came back. I didn’t want to tell my mom ‘cause it would scare her.” He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. “Is that bad? He wasn’t mean or anything like that. Just...strange.”

Keith stood and mustered a reassuring smile. “No. You did the right thing. I’ll take care of it.” He smoothed Ryker’s hair back. “Go to sleep now, okay?”

He stepped toward the door. Who the hell was this man Ryker described? Urgency warmed his blood. What was on the paper? Whatever it was, it couldn’t be good. Ryker and Grace could still be in great danger.

“Wait.”

Ryker’s small voice drew Keith up short. “Yeah?”

“You forgot to kiss my forehead.”

“Uh...Kiss your forehead?”

“Yeah, you know, to give me good dreams. Mom always does it.”

Keith hesitated, thickness gathered in his throat as he stared at a near mirror image of Grace, the boy’s face wreathed in a sleepy smile.

Leave it to her to come up with such an idiotic, charming idea. And one he couldn’t refuse. Ryker needed a wealth of good dreams to erase all he’d endured.

“Good dreams coming right up,” Keith said. He leaned forward and touched his lips briefly to Ryker’s forehead. The scent of faded blueberry shampoo crowded his nostrils. “Goodnight, buddy.”

“Goodnight, Keith.”

He closed the bedroom door softly on his way out and went in search of Ryker’s pants. He found them on the back of one of the chairs and shoved his fingers into the small pockets where he latched on to a folded square of paper. It was damp from their ordeal in the drainage tunnel and when Keith unfolded it he could see the ink had bled, rendering the contents unreadable.

Damn it. He squeezed the paper in his fist. Maybe Cam could computer analyze it to come up with more information. In the meantime, Keith would hire protection for Grace and Ryker. Just in case.

A shadowy form passed in front of the glass patio doors. He stiffened, prepared to fight an intruder. But with a second glance he could make out Grace’s curves and the shape of her hair. He dropped his head back and let his taut muscles relax.

Keep it under control, King. Do not tempt fate by joining her out there.

He turned to his bedroom, but somehow found himself in front of the sliding glass door instead. He pushed it to the side and stepped out into the warm night, prepared for a fight of an entirely different kind.

Chapter Eighteen

“He’s asleep.”

Grace’s body tightened at the sound of Keith’s voice behind her. Her throat stung with a twinge of jealousy. Ryker hadn’t wanted her to put him to bed. It shouldn’t hurt, but she felt so raw, so empty right now, the unintentional slight ripped her to pieces.

Arms crossed in front of her, she slid her chilled fingers beneath the hem of her shirtsleeves and turned to catch Keith’s piercing stare. Moonlight shimmered against his hair and cast a seductive shadow across the left side of his face.

She swallowed past the burning ache. “Thanks.”

“I’m sorry if—”

She reached out to touch Keith’s bare arm but chickened out before she connected with his skin. “No. That’s okay. Really. It...it was nice of you to sit with him.”

“He’s a great kid, Grace.”

“Yeah. Yeah, he is.”

It hurt to look at Keith. Without the air of danger crackling around them, he seemed different somehow, maybe more susceptible. And thinking of Keith as vulnerable in any way made her want to wrap her arms around him and press her cheek to his chest.

She shook herself and retreated, resting her arms on the wooden balcony rail as she tried to focus on the moonlight that caressed the distant desert peaks.

Keith’s forearm brushed hers. “You’ve raised him right.” The heavy timbre of his voice washed over her. “I didn’t expect that.”

She frowned. “Thanks a lot.”

“I didn’t mean...” He huffed out a whisper of a laugh, which hung between them for a split second before he dove back to more serious territory. “I didn’t want to like that about you.”

“I didn’t want to like a lot of things about you.” As soon as the words left her mouth, regret spiraled through the pit of her stomach.

“I’m not coming back, Grace.”

His voice was so soft she could’ve mistaken it for the light breeze that fluttered her hair, if it wasn’t for the harsh conviction that punctuated the statement.

Her eyes burned and filled. She squeezed them tight. “I know.”

He brushed the back of her hand and her eyes popped open at the touch. She couldn’t look away, desperate to commit the sight to memory, but he pulled away too son.

His fingers curled into a tight fist, the skin across his knuckles stretched taut. “I’m no good at this...this goodbye stuff. And it’s even worse when you won’t look me in the eye.”

She tipped her head to meet his intense dark stare tinged with moonlight. The hard planes of his somber face drew her in just as always. Why was she fascinated with those cynical angles? So compelled to soften them?

She faked a smile. “Better?”

His lips quirked. He ran a finger down her cheek. “Yes. Much.” His smile faded, he ran his thumb over her lips. “You’ll never forgive me, will you?”

The quiet poignancy of his words pierced Grace’s heart. The sliver of moonlight illuminated his face, highlighting the scar on his cheek. He bore his scars on the outside, but hers were worn deep on the inside. It wasn’t that she couldn’t forgive him, right now she could see herself forgiving him for just about anything, but she didn’t know if she could forget. Would she ever look at him and see beyond the mistakes of the past? Or would they always be like a virus between them, eating away anything good that tried to grow?

Keith took her silence for an affirmation. He dropped his hand, immediately leaving her lips bereft of the tender warmth. A cold, empty chill washed over her when he moved to the sliding doors.

This was it.

He’d go to his room and she’d go to hers. No goodbyes. No promises. They would leave each other’s life without a sound.

Almost as if they’d never touched at all.

Her heart caved. Her tight throat strangled her breath.

“Wait.” The plea tore from her lips and he froze, his hand clenched around the door handle. “Please.” She crossed to him and laid her shaky palm on his back. His muscles tightened beneath her fingertips and spread warmth along her hand. “Please stay.”

Keith’s head fell back, his fingers tightened around the handle in a crushing grip. “I can’t.”

Of course not. He probably couldn’t wait to get rid of her. She pressed her lips together until they stung and snatched her hand to her heart. “I...understand.”

He rounded on her and she fell back a step. His jaw tightened, his nostrils flared as he backed her against the rail then pierced her with a heated look that sent an answering warmth through her.

Her eyes widened under his heavy lidded gaze. He lifted his hand and stopped inches before her face. Her skin tingled from his non-touch; her body ached with the need to have his hands on her, his mouth on her...

“You see it, don’t you?” His harsh question sent an electrifying current rippling low in her belly. “You see why...if I spend another minute...” He brushed his fingers over her jaw and she leaned into his touch. “I burn for you, Gracie.” He rubbed her lips with his thumb. “You’re fire in my veins. But I’ll be damned if I do something stupid that ends up as one more crime you can’t forgive.”

His thumb paused seductively against her bottom lip. She wanted his tongue there. “Keith...”

“Say that won’t be the case, Gracie. Say it and I...”

Tell him! Come on, what would it hurt to absolve him? She was more than halfway there already.

Tears gathered and spilled over her eyelashes. Her own sins held her back, keeping her from saying the words he needed to hear.

Keith’s lips twisted in a grimace. He caressed a tear across her cheek. “That’s it then, huh?” he rasped.

She expected him to shut her out immediately. He was so effective at the cold shoulder, after all. But he hesitated, showing his first sign of indecision in all their time together.

It didn’t last long.

“You know what, screw it.” Keith’s mouth came down hard on hers. He cupped the back of her head and tugged lightly at her bottom lip with his teeth.

She parted her lips and touched her tongue with his, deepening the kiss. Her arms found their way around his neck and dragged him closer. Their tongues dueled. He took, she gave and then they reversed their roles until Keith lifted his mouth and pressed his forehead to hers.

“I should go.” Regret laced his husky words. Regret and a kind of frayed restraint that heated Grace all the more.

He couldn’t go. She needed this. Needed
him
. Just for tonight.

Only for tonight?

What did it matter? Her arms tightened around him. Just...don’t think about it. Ask him.