HER RUSSIAN SURRENDER (17 page)

He stopped when he saw her sitting on the gleaming ivory staircase. She looked out of place in her simple jeans and sweater and he suddenly found himself wishing everything in his house wasn’t so grand.

Yes, all the grandeur had brought him great comfort when he’d first bought the house. There was something fitting about him—the neglected child of a murderer who’d been hidden away in a cheap apartment like a dirty secret—now having the means to live in such ostentatious luxury. But looking at Samantha in her frank, simple attire made him wish he lived in a simpler house, one where she’d feel more at home.

She stood as he closed the door behind him, crossing her arms over her chest. That’s when he realized she had something on her mind and hadn’t been sitting there just to welcome him home.

Back Up chose that moment to whine at his legs and flop down, belly up. Over the last month, Nikolai had found the only way to keep the bull terrier from blocking his way after he arrived home was to pay her a regular toll of belly rubs and ear scratches. Only then would she allow him to move about his own house in peace.

Useless dog
, he thought, even as he bent over to pet her belly.

Then he straightened and met Samantha’s eyes. “Where’s Pavel?”

“With Nyla and Dirk,” she answered. “They’re having dinner now and Nyla’s waiting for my call so she can bring him home.”

“Who’s Nyla?” he asked, having met the latter once, soon after he’d been hired as Pavel’s driver and bodyguard.

“She occasionally babysits Pavel when I get too busy at Ruth’s House,” Samantha answered. “She reads a little… strange. But she interns at Ruth’s House and she’s working on her master’s in Child Psychology. So… perfect fit for Pavel.”

Nikolai didn’t know about that, but this Nyla person was beside the point anyway. The real question was, “Why isn’t he here? For dinner?”

“Because I thought it would be easier if he wasn’t here. We need to talk. About Marco.”

He bent back over to pet the dog again until the rage that even the mention of that man’s name inspired in him passed. He scratched behind Back Up’s ears in silence, clamping down on his heart, until he was sure he had a hold of himself. And only then did he stand back up and ask, “What about Marco?”

Her eyes scanned his face as if she were trying to get some kind of read on him. “So this gaming the system and getting people you don’t like transferred? Is this the kind of thing you do all the time?”

He stood in silence, giving her nothing. This was the Rustanov way. Cold and ruthless. Never giving in, never letting your enemy see you sweat, as the Americans like to say.

“Is it an ingrained habit?” she continued. “Like you don’t know any better, because that’s how you were raised? Or is it a fairly new thing? Like you’re so used to people saying yes to you now, it doesn’t even occur to you not to grossly abuse your power?”

“Enough,” Nikolai growled. “If you are angry about your boyfriend, know I do not care.”

“What exactly
do
you care about, Nikolai?” she asked. “I mean other than hockey? Did you care about your brother? How about his son? Do you care at all about Pavel? Or is he just some kind of obligation to you?”

“I come here early to share meal with him. He is not here,” Nikolai answered. “What more you want from me?”

Frustration flashed in her eyes, angry and hot. “I want the truth Nikolai. That guy that came after me. Did you have anything to do with his disappearance? Of him and his entire gang?”

Nikolai’s jaw clenched. Apparently the cop had not taken his transfer quietly as he had hoped. An error on Nikolai’s part. But it didn’t matter. He refused to answer Samantha’s accusations.

And Samantha took that as in invitation to throw more at him. “Is it true you have mafia ties, ones you used to get Marco transferred?”

Again, he gave her nothing. Not just because he was a Rustanov, but also because… what could he say? That he let his jealousy get the best of him? That yes, he did what he could to keep her away from her boyfriend, even though he was deeply aware it was petty and there was nothing he could truly do?

The baby growing inside of her was his. But she wasn’t. So he stayed silent as he’d learned to do growing up. Stayed silent and waited for this to be over.

HE WAS GONE. Sam knew that as soon as he went completely still on her, like a living statue at the state fair. This one wasn’t covered in spray paint, but nonetheless, he was a man in a suit who turned into stone when confronted in any way.

A thousand possible psychological explanations went through Sam’s head for his reaction to her accusations, but at the end of her very long day, she could only focus on one. He didn’t want to talk to her.

He was unwilling to communicate with her in any way. He was exactly what he’d claimed to be when they first met, a man who did not like complications, and this whole conversation along with Sam herself was a complication he wasn’t willing to deal with.

“Okay,” she said, making herself calm down. “Okay…”

What he’d done to Marco was beside the point, anyway. The real point here was Pavel. Making sure Pavel didn’t get hurt. Making sure no matter how incapable of simple human emotions his uncle was, that Pavel got to grow up in a stable home.

She took a deep, cleansing breath, like the ones she’d instructed Pavel to take when they were in their weekly session and talking about his father became too overwhelming. Then she said to Nikolai, “I’m going to move back to my place.”

The only indication that he heard her was a slight shift in his gaze from the spot beyond her head to her face.

“I think we’ve reached a potentially confusing time as far as Pavel and this baby is concerned, and I don’t want to hurt him any more than I have to. So now that he’s settled in here, I’m going to find someone else to take over his weekly counseling sessions, and I’m going to start limiting our interactions. I think…”

She said this next part quickly, so she wouldn’t start crying. “I think Pavel and I have both become a little too dependent on each other and this is probably what’s best for all of us, considering you and I have come to an impasse I don’t think we’re going to be able to navigate.”

Sam waited for Nikolai to say something. Anything. For the longest time, he stood there perfectly still, his face hard as granite as he studied her from underneath hooded eyes.

But eventually he spoke. One word. “When?”

“When?” she repeated. “Well, I was thinking I’d move out tomorrow while Pavel’s at school, then we’d go into a gentle transition plan, using Nyla as a partner, after that.”

He regarded her for a few icy seconds before saying, “Tomorrow is too soon. Give me two days to prepare.”

“O-okay,” she said. “Do you need any help arranging for someone to be here when Pavel gets home from school?”

“No,” he answered. Then he walked away, heading towards his study without another word, and leaving her both confused and surprised by his unexpectedly easy acquiescence. But really, she shouldn’t have surprised. It wasn’t like he’d asked her to come here in the first place.

She’d just given him exactly what he wanted. They’d had sex, and now she was leaving. He was probably glad to be rid of her, she thought. Which was a good thing.

So why did she feel so sad when she texted Nyla that it was okay to bring Pavel home now?

22

B
y the time Sam woke up two days later, she was still having a hard time understanding why she felt so out of sorts about the whole situation. Nikolai had technically kept his promise, showing up for dinner the last two nights in a row, eating nearly everything she put in front of him. But he hadn’t exactly been great company.

He’d let her and Pavel do pretty much all the talking, only interrupting when he was done with his dinner to say he had work to do and would be in his office.

It was a start, and that was the best she could hope for. More than she would have dared to hope for a few days ago. And she had a plan to make Pavel less dependent on her and Back Up…

Oh, who was she kidding, she thought as she pulled on a pair of sweats. She was going to miss Pavel terribly. She could barely stand to think about their parting because she’d grown too used to having the little boy in her life over the past month. He’d given her a reason to not work so hard over the last few weeks, to delegate more than she had in the past, and she’d liked coming home early so she could be there when Dirk dropped him off after school.

She liked, she admitted to herself with a quiet pang as she left her room, being his mama.

But she wasn’t his mama. He only insisted on calling her that. She wasn’t even related to him by blood. Nikolai was. And in the end, her moving out would be the best thing for all of them.

She knocked on Pavel’s door and did her best to not look like she was trying to memorize his dear little face when he opened it, already dressed in the gym shorts and t-shirt he wore for their morning yoga session.

After they were done with yoga, as had become their routine, they put on their coats, and walked Back Up around Nikolai’s neighborhood. Sam actually wouldn’t have called where Nikolai lived a neighborhood if it had been up to her. It was more like a small collection of mansions, all owned by local multi-millionaires and set far apart from each other on acres of land. She’d never seen a hamlet, but the word came to mind on her walks.

They weren’t the only ones out walking a dog that morning, but Sam was one of the few official dog parents among the lot. She called out greetings to housekeepers and professional dog walkers and nannies alike, but her greetings to the few millionaire wives who deigned to walk their own dogs went more or less ignored. One even crossed to the other side of the street to make sure her well-groomed standard poodle had no contact whatsoever with Sam’s bullie. A totally unnecessary action since the last time Sam had checked, it was physically impossible to get licked to death.

“That woman doesn’t like Back Up,” Pavel observed, watching another well-dressed woman walk quickly in the other direction.

“There’s a lot of misinformation going around about Back Up’s breed. At first glance, she looks tough and mean, so a lot of people assume she’s dangerous when they look at her and they get scared. But we’re lucky because we know the truth about her,” Sam said. “In any case, it teaches us we should never judge anyone by their appearance.”

“Uncle Nik looks tough and mean. Do you think he’s dangerous?”

The question caught Sam off guard. Pavel probably didn’t realize it, but he had just introduced a topic rife with emotional landmines.

“No,” she answered carefully. It didn’t exactly feel like the truth. The truth was, her stomach knotted up every time she was in a room with Nikolai. The truth was, even before Marco had informed her of what he most likely had done, she could practically feel danger radiating off him and it scared her a little.

But she would be leaving Pavel in his care. Plus, as serious as he could be at times, the fact remained that Pavel was only a child. She couldn’t tell him any of that. “I don’t think he’s dangerous.”
To you
, she silently added.

“Then why don’t you like him?” Pavel asked.

“Who said I don’t like him?” she asked.

“You’re nice to everyone. You even try to be nice to those ladies who cross the street to get away from Back Up. But you never try to be nice to Uncle. You never really smile at him like you do everybody else.”

She wanted to say, “Yes, I do!” But then she realized the only time she’d ever smiled at Nikolai was when she was either faking it, or trying to convince him to do something for Pavel’s sake. Like the other day when she’d gotten him to agree to come home earlier.

“You’re right,” she said. “I could maybe try to be nicer to your uncle.” It was an easy promise to make, since she was technically moving out that day.

Not knowing this, Pavel beamed at her, which reminded her that she needed to schedule a dentist appointment for him before she went. She pulled out her phone and put a note in her to-do app to call Isaac about setting it up, since it needed to go under Nikolai’s insurance plan. But when she went to categorize the reminder under “Pavel,” a wave of sadness rolled over her. Pretty soon, there’d be no need for a special “Pavel” category in her app.

“You know what we should do after Dirk drops you off tonight?” she asked Pavel. “Go to the Children’s Museum.”

Pavel had lived within a five-mile radius of the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis nearly all his life, but he’d never been. Sure, his class would eventually take a field trip there, but Sam wanted to give him something to remember her by before she left. One last great afternoon together before she dropped the bomb that she and Back Up wouldn’t be living with him any more.

After their walk, they ate breakfast. Pancakes, sausages, and eggs—a little fancier than what Sam usually made for them, and she was more than a little concerned she wouldn’t be able to keep the meal down. But she wanted Pavel to have nice memories of their last morning together.

Making and eating breakfast took a little longer than usual, and Dirk pulled up under the porte-cochère while Pavel was still up in his room, gathering his back pack and other school essentials. So Sam took the opportunity to have a little talk with Dirk while they waited.

“Hey, do you mind giving me a call later on today? I have some things to go over with you about Pavel’s transition.”

Dirk frowned. “Oh, is that still happening?”

She gave him a confused smile. “Yeah, why would you think it wasn’t?”

“Cuz I called Isaac like you told me to, and he made it sound like I didn’t have to worry about it.”

Alarm bells went off in Sam’s head. “So Isaac hasn’t found a replacement? He told me he was working on it.”

Dirk just shrugged. “I dunno. I guess call Isaac—hey Pav!” he called out when the little boy came out of the house and down the red brick steps with Back Up close at his heels. “What’s up, little man?”

Conversation over, Sam thought. But she’d for sure be calling Isaac as soon as she got into work that day. Meanwhile, she grabbed Back Up by the collar and took her up the stairs to the porch as the town car rolled away. She’d learned the hard way that Back Up would run after the limo if she wasn’t physically held back. Despite having only known each other for less than two months, she and Pavel shared a special connection.