Her Tiger To Take (10 page)

“I said…”

“Nick Chernikov, stop arguing with me. I am
going to feed you and look after you until your arm heals. Period.
Now, what do you want to eat?”

His lips twitched. “Hamburgers will do.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Without bothering to change into her own
clothes—because she loved wearing things that smelled so strongly
of Nick—she left for the closest fast food restaurant.

The distance from him didn’t give her any
more clarity. She was still torn between her conscience and her
heart. She wanted him and the future they could have together more
than she had ever wanted anything in her life. She wanted to have a
family with him and make a life here in this town he loved so
much.

But she didn’t want to force him into fights
with the other males.

Maybe she could go to Elizaveta. The elder
wasn’t allowed to intercede for her grandsons, but if the others
broke Mate Run rules by going after Nick, the elder could step in.
That was tiger law.

Except if she went to Elizaveta, the elder
might realize Tiana had broken Run laws by going to Nick in between
cycles. They weren’t supposed to be together. If anyone found out
she was here with him, he’d be officially banned from the Run for
years, maybe forever. She couldn’t risk that. Even if he didn’t
come back for her, he might still want to return one day.

The thought of him running for another
tigress made her snarl and her chest ache. Stupid. Irrational. But
the pain was real.

By the time she got back with the burgers,
she still had no idea what to do. If she continued asking him to
return to the Run for her, she’d be asking him to fight. If she
left and let him go, she’d lose her one chance at love and a
family. She’d still be under pressure by her people to mate, too.
She wouldn’t be able to stop running.

When she walked back into the room, Nick was
leaning against the wooden headboard, flicking through the TV
channels so fast she was sure he couldn’t possibly tell what was
on.

She held up the bags of food. “I hope this is
enough. I know it’s not as good as the food at the diner.”

He snorted. “Nothing around here is.”

She’d tasted his food so she had a hard time
begrudging him his pride. She unwrapped the five bacon
cheeseburgers she’d bought him and lined them up on paper napkins
next to him on the bed by his good hand. Then she settled at the
desk with her three hamburgers. The wolves hadn’t seen fit to feed
her. She could easily have eaten more, but this would take the edge
off.

He finished the first burger in three bites
and was halfway through the second when he said, “My brothers and I
lived off takeout and TV dinners for years after my mom died. My
Uncle Erik—the uncle who raised us—was a horrible cook. He tried a
few times, then gave up and fed us as best he could from
restaurants. I still have trouble eating cereal since that’s the
only thing we had for breakfast for years.”

“Years?”

“It was the only thing Uncle Erik knew how to
make. Without burning it.”

“Not even frozen waffles or toast?”

“Burned. Burned. He never paid much attention
to the food he ate, so figuring out how to feed three growing boys
was beyond him.”

“But wasn’t Mikhail just a baby when…” Since
this was the first time he’d brought up his family in casual
conversation, she didn’t want to break the spell by mentioning his
father’s crimes aloud. This glimpse into his childhood was
fascinating.

“Uncle Erik could handle milk and store
bought baby food. Already prepared stuff was right up his alley.
Anything that required heat was beyond him. He couldn’t even manage
the microwave without turning whatever he was trying to cook into a
brick.” Nick laughed. “By the time I was twelve, I was so sick of
the way we ate, I taught myself how to cook. Got a little help from
Alexis. Then I learned the rest by trial and error.”

“You obviously did a good job.” She smiled at
his soft expression, the half-smile of good memories.

For some reason, the fact that he had good
memories of his childhood came as a relief. He’d been so careful to
avoid the topic of family, she’d worried there wasn’t much about
his childhood he could look back on with any pleasure.

She’d had such a wonderful childhood, such a
close relationship with her family, she just couldn’t imagine
having that all ripped away from her as young as Nick had lost his
parents. More than anything, she wanted to give him the kind of
happy, loving family life she’d experienced.

“Never thought I’d end up owning a
restaurant,” he said. “I started cooking out of necessity. Funny
how that happens? The perfect thing for you just sort of falls into
your lap.”

He met her gaze as he spoke and Tiana’s heart
skipped a beat. She was afraid to read anything into his comment,
but oh how she wanted to imagine he was talking about her.

“Six brothers, huh?” he asked.

Tiana shook herself out of the moment of
longing and smiled. “All of them very rough and tumble.”

“You know they’d kick my ass if they caught
us together like this?”

“I’m not planning on telling them. Besides, I
just saw you fight. I don’t want you and my brothers going at
it.”

“They’d have every right to kick my ass.”

She tried to glare. “My being here isn’t any
of their business.”

He raised his brows but didn’t comment.
“Older, younger?”

“I’m the third, so two older, four
younger.”

“Big family.”

“My parents were a good match. They fell in
love during the Run and are still together all these years later.
They’re ridiculously cute and mushy.”

“Mushy?”

She laughed. “It’s kind of disgusting how in
love they still are. My mom said she knew the minute she caught his
scent, he was the only one for her.” Tiana had always wanted that
kind of love, but she hadn’t actually believed her mom when she
said she’d known so quickly. In fact, she’d doubted her mother’s
story right up to the day she met Nick. She understood her mother a
lot better now.

“Most relationships don’t work out that way,”
he said quietly.

“I know. I don’t have a lot of illusions,
Nick, despite what you might think. Three of my brothers are old
enough to take part in Mate Runs. None of them have found a mate.
Only one even came close and that tigress ended up choosing a
different male on her next Run. I know the kind of relationship my
folks have is rare.” She held his gaze, steady and sure when she
said, “But it does happen. And when it does, it’s wonderful.”

She’d always believed in the depths of her
soul that the kind of love her parents shared was worth fighting
for, worth doing whatever it took to have. Now, her fear for Nick
complicated her beliefs. She still thought love was worth fighting
for, but what if one of the lovers didn’t want to fight?

She turned away to finish her food, afraid to
show him her confusion.

“Tiana,” he murmured. “What’s wrong? The
wolves…”

“Nothing to do with them.” She waved that
away. “Though, I will be staying out of their territory now.” She
winced.

“Then what is it?”

How could she tell him when she didn’t know
herself? She wasn’t sure how to put the complex mix of confused
emotions into words he might understand. And even if he did
understand, he might use her confusion as an excuse to send her
away. She wasn’t prepared to give him up yet. She just wasn’t sure
her conscience would let her keep trying to talk him back into a
world he’d abandoned.

Because she had to say something or he’d just
keep at her, she admitted, “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep last
night.”

His brows snapped down in a scowl. “Why the
hell didn’t you say anything? Come lay down. You need to
sleep.”

“I can wait until your arm heals. I don’t
want to crowd you.”

“Get into this bed and sleep, Tiana.
Now.”

The thought of sleeping next to him, of being
in a bed so close to him, was a temptation too enticing to resist.
Though she wasn’t sure she’d be able to sleep with him so near.
Especially while she was still wearing clothes that enveloped her
in his scent.

She crawled onto the bed beside him as he
tossed the remaining paper napkins onto the nightstand, clearing
room for her. She settled on her side, facing him, a pillow bunched
up under her head.

“You’re sure this isn’t going to crowd you?
You still have a few hours of healing left.”

“Sleep,” he ordered.

“Won’t Jane be expecting you?”

“I called her already. My backup cook is
going to take the dinner shift, too. I don’t have anywhere to go or
anything to do for the rest of the day. Now rest. And don’t argue
with me anymore or you’re going to piss me off.”

She grinned a little and closed her eyes.
“Wouldn’t want to do that,” she mumbled and was rewarded by his low
chuckle. That wonderfully relaxed sound, along with the delicious
and settling scent of him, went with her into her dreams.

Nick watched her sleep, his chest heavy and
tight. He hadn’t talked about his childhood with anyone in a long
time. Especially not a tigress. Most of his people looked at him
and his childhood and saw the bad stuff—his mother’s suicide, the
status of Nick and his brothers, the crimes his father had
committed…

Despite all that, and regardless of the
fighting and trouble, he and his brothers had had some good times.
They’d spent weeks with Alexis at her cabin in the heart of her
territory, a place they were all safe and could just be. More than
once they’d had to face their uncle after destroying his kitchen in
a food fight. There were quiet runs in the woods. Camping and
hunting trips. The chaos of babysitting for Alexis and Victor. The
trips to Europe and Russia to experiment with new cooking
techniques.

His life was good now, and he’d had good
moments over the years, things he could think back on and
smile.

But when most tigers looked at him, all they
saw was his father.

Too often, that was all Nick saw when he
looked in the mirror as well.

He reached out and brushed a lock of hair off
Tiana’s forehead, trailing a light caress down her cheek. He
understood his father much better now. The rage and sorrow… If the
wolves had hurt Tiana, Nick knew with certainty that those things
would have risen to consume him. He would have torn the entire pack
to pieces without thought.

Knowing what he was capable of had always
terrified him. Knowing he could tip over into his father’s insanity
had haunted him his entire life.

He’d touched that place in his fight with
Corwin.

He had a choice to make: to continue hiding
from that part of himself—which would mean giving up Tiana—or to
embrace it, face it fully and accept it.

She was worth it, he realized. She was worth
facing his dark heart.

Tatiana Loban-Gupta was the most amazing
woman he’d ever met, surprising him and fascinating him in equal
measure. He kept imagining taking her to Europe and watching her
expression as they ate their way across the continent. Or
fantasizing about what she’d look like after sex, with her blonde
hair mussed, her dark eyes sleepy and sexy.

But could he ask her to marry him, a man who
danced so close to that edge of insanity? She wanted children. What
if something happened to her and he fell into that black place,
abandoning his children the way his father had? What if he passed
his father’s weakness down to his own sons? Or his mother’s
instability to a daughter?

He couldn’t escape the truth. He couldn’t be
a good mate to Tiana, no matter what he wanted. The risk to her was
too great.

His tiger didn’t want to listen to reason.
His tiger looked at her with possessive intent. His mate.

She wasn’t anything like his mother, he
reminded himself. Hell, she’d learned self-defense and fighting
techniques from Alexis. His mother would never have bothered
learning how to fight beyond her own instincts.

Tiana was strong. She didn’t suffer with
depression. She would never take her own life.

Not under normal circumstances. But his
mother had been hit with
post-partum
depression on top of
her normal depression. Any woman could get that after having a
baby. What if that happened to Tiana? What if he didn’t see the
signs?

He swallowed hard. He’d put the idea of
children and a wife out of his head years ago. He couldn’t believe
he was contemplating opening himself up to that pain again.

Tiana made a soft sound in her sleep and
edged a little closer to him, her lips lifting in a smile when she
breathed deeply.

As he watched her, what really surprised him
was that he was still thinking of giving her up. What kind of idiot
was he that he would let this woman go? She was magnificent in so
many ways. Fighting for her wouldn’t be a challenge. It would be a
privilege.

But that didn’t solve the darker issue—what
if something went wrong and his mind snapped? Could he hope to
escape his father’s curse? Was he stronger than his father? Did he
dare take that chance?

When Tiana woke, Nick was still beside her,
his scent wrapping around her like a blanket. Sometime in her
sleep, she’d reached out to him, or maybe he’d reached for her,
because they were holding hands now. Casually. Easily. As if they
always did this in bed.

The rightness of it filled her heart with an
ache of longing. She couldn’t imagine having this with anyone else.
She looked up at Nick. He was watching her. She didn’t have any
words, not for long moments. He squeezed her hand and she squeezed
back.

Finally, she broke the silence. “How’s your
arm?”

“All healed now.”