Her Valentine Family (10 page)

But she couldn't. She didn't dare.

She opened her mouth to tell him she didn't appreciate his behavior, but before she could say a word, Chad held up a hand.

“I'm sorry, Jess. It's just that I've never heard of another child behaving that way before, and now I realize how my mother must have felt back then.”

“Your mother?”

“When my first grade teacher called her in for the same thing.” He smiled. “I mean, it sounds so similar to what she was told, and your Nathan is acting the same way, well, that I did when I was about his age.” He laughed. “Sounds like your little guy has one of my quirks.”

“One of your quirks?” she asked and didn't dare say anything else. All it would take was an affirmation that Nathan would naturally have inherited some of Chad's traits and Chad would know the truth. But telling him now, here, in Ms. Smelding's classroom, didn't feel right. Plus, she still didn't know what quirk Chad was referring to. Thankfully, he explained.

“When I was in first grade, my teacher called Mom in for a parent-teacher conference. That was the year Dad ran out on us, so naturally, when Mrs. O'Ryan
explained that I was isolating myself from the remainder of the class, she and my mother determined that I was unable to cope with the loss of my father and that I was losing the ability to connect with anyone socially. She recommended Mom take me to a child psychiatrist for evaluation.”

“You went to a child psychiatrist? As a first grader?”

“Still remember it,” Chad said, and his mouth quirked to the side as he apparently recalled the visit to the doctor's office. “They called it play therapy, where basically she took me into a room filled with toys, got on the floor beside me and we played.”

“Do you think Nathan needs to go to a psychiatrist?” she asked, unable to disguise in her voice the dread that image portrayed.

“No, I don't. Because I'm betting you'd be wasting a bunch of money, just like my mother wasted a bunch back then, when my problem wasn't really a problem with my societal skills.” Chad grinned and pronounced, “If he's got the same ‘issues' I had, and it sure sounds like he does, then all that a psychiatrist would tell you is that your little boy is advanced for his age.”

“Advanced?” Jessica's heart fluttered at the possibility. Then again, Chad had always been at the top of his class in school, for as long as she could remember. He'd been valedictorian of his class and had only taken three years to obtain his premed degree. And while Jessica's academic accomplishments weren't
that
superb, she had always done well in school and actually had a chance at the top of her class, if she hadn't left to have Nathan. Even doing that, though, she'd obtained her high school
diploma through summer night classes in Tennessee. And she'd always done well—very well—with her grades.

Wouldn't it make sense that Nathan would be advanced for his age? Odd that she'd never considered it before. But he was a smart boy, a very smart boy, and he did love to learn.

“You're considering it, aren't you, that you're raising a boy genius.” The way Chad said it, and the way he was obviously putting himself in the former boy genius category, made Jessica's smile easy.

“Okay,” she said. “I can see that he could potentially be advanced for his age, but how does this whole sandbox thing play into that? Obviously, you're the expert on it.” Her voice was teasing, playful. Now that she believed Nathan was probably okay, and moreover, that he was so like his daddy that way, she actually felt a little giddy. Happy. Excited.

“I didn't claim to be an expert, but I did see a psychiatrist for basically the same thing,” he said, smiling.

Jess really liked his smile. “So, tell me. What did they say about you?”

“During our play therapy, that psychiatrist had me building things with her. I remember she had this electric K'NEX set, a big crane, in the center of the floor. I was drawn to it, mesmerized by it. I couldn't wait to figure out how it worked, to control it and to do something that was obviously so much beyond what I ‘should' be doing at my age. She'd been surprised when I picked that toy, which I now know was meant for kids eight and up.”

Jessica nodded and thought about all of the trips to Toys “R” Us when Nathan begged her for some type of building toy where the recommended age on the outside
of the box was well beyond his five years. She'd always managed to lure him away from the object of his desire and thought at the time that she was helping him, keeping him from being frustrated later when the toy was beyond his ability. She silently resolved to change her tactic next time. They could try the more difficult toy together, or if he'd rather, she could give him time to solve the puzzle of the model on his own. Maybe that would build his confidence, increase his self-esteem when he accomplished something so difficult.

“In the process of watching me learn the details of how to put the crane together and eventually how to run the motorized sculpture, the psychiatrist asked me a simple question about what I liked best about playing with the other kids at school.”

“And you said…”

He laughed, apparently recalling the discussion. “I told her that they weren't nearly as much fun as playing with that crane. They played easy games. I liked the hard ones.”

Jessica smirked. Chad had always liked a challenge and apparently Nathan did, too. But still, she wasn't sure how that played into her son—their son—abandoning his classmates on the playground in exchange for solitude in the sandbox. “But Nathan isn't playing harder games,” she said. “Mrs. Carter said he's playing in the sandbox.”

“What did she say he was doing last week, when they couldn't go outside and were confined to playing in the gym?” Chad had such an assuredness about his tone that Jessica already suspected he had an answer to her problem. And consequently, she already felt better about the situation.

“She said that he spent his time with the obstacle course materials.”

Chad's brows knitted, as though this explanation didn't follow through with what he'd expected. “Running an obstacle course by himself?”

“No,” Jess said. “He took the materials for the course—the cones, barrels, plastic crates,” she started, and Chad held up a hand to stop her.

Grinning broadly, he proclaimed, “And he built something.”

Jess nodded and again felt instantly better that Chad seemed to have an answer for Nathan's behavior. “Mrs. Carter thought he was working on a rocket, from what she determined, but she said she would ask him more about it tomorrow, when they talked.”

Chad's smile continued. “He needed more of a challenge than the other activities going on around him, so he made one up.” He lifted one shoulder and lifted a hand, insinuating the problem was now solved. “Your boy is like me, and I turned out okay, didn't I?”

Jessica felt her throat tighten, her heart rate increase on its own accord. She should tell him, right here, right now.

“Chad,” she started, but he interrupted her.

“I know, I know, I should have been a doctor,” he joked. And then he paused, and his smile faded.

“You'd have been a great doctor,” she said and felt the weight of the conversation shift, where she was now the comforter, Chad the one needing comfort. He'd wanted that so much in high school, and she still wondered what brought him here, to Stockville Community College, to teach. “And you got your premed degree early. That obviously says that your boy genius status has simply
become man genius status now.” She frowned. “That doesn't sound quite right.”

He laughed, and the sadness she'd seen in his eyes a moment ago dissipated. “That's okay. You can call me man genius anytime you want. I'll learn to live with it.”

That caused her to laugh, too.

“One more thing though, about Nathan.”

She swallowed. She should have told him because this conversation must have given away too much. But she so thought this wasn't the right time and that tomorrow, when they shared their first real date, would be the perfect time to tell him about their son. “What about Nathan?” she forced herself to ask.

“He does play with other kids sometimes, doesn't he? I mean, he enjoys being around kids his age, but he just gets bored with them at times.” Apparently, Chad recognized that a complete lack of social skills wouldn't be a good thing, no matter whether her child was a “boy genius” like his father, or not.

Jessica found an easy answer for this question, and it hadn't been long since she'd seen affirmation of the fact. “He does like playing with other kids, but usually the activity has to be something that's a bit of a test. Like Wednesday night, at the end of his church class, he and several of the other kids worked together to put a Noah's ark puzzle together.” She remembered the children all gathered together and finding their way through the cut pieces to form the animal-filled boat.

Chad nodded, satisfied. “Wait and see what the teacher says tomorrow, after she's talked to him, but I'm betting you're about to get news similar to what my mother got way back then. He's simply wanting to do harder activities, and when his buddies are conducting one, he
makes up his own. It's okay. And in the long run, it'll help you out.”

“How's that?”

“He'll be the type of kid who can always entertain himself. I know I was. In fact, I'd wager my experiments entertained Becky, too.”

His experiments. Jess recalled something Becky had told her about when they were in middle school. “Didn't you blow up your kitchen?”

He chuckled. “Becky exaggerates. Blowing it up is a bit strong of a term.” He paused for effect. “Let's just say after I practiced with my sixth grade science experiment, a real working volcano, Mom had a good reason for renovating the kitchen.”

She laughed. “Great. So now I know I have plenty to look forward to while Nathan is entertaining himself.”

“Pretty much,” Chad agreed, easing off the desk. “So, you feel better now?”

“Much,” she admitted. “Thanks.”

He checked his watch. They'd been talking over an hour. “We can still go get that coffee if you want, but I'm betting you're probably ready to go home and hug him before he goes to bed.” He picked up her books. “Right?”

“Yes,” she said, also sliding off the desk. “But we can add coffee to the end of our night tomorrow if that works into your plans.”

“I think that could be arranged.” He walked beside her toward the door, locked the classroom and then continued with her down the now empty hall.

A few late classes were still in session, judging from the low rumble of teacher's voices echoing off the tiled walls. Still, their walk through the building and then
out across the quad to the parking area seemed private, intimate. Jessica sensed a connection between them now, as though they walked as one, thought as one. And she thought she knew why.

Chad had helped her through her first difficult issue with Nathan. He'd been there, right beside her, to analyze the situation and then determine what was happening to their son, and why. It was the first time she'd had anyone truly help her with her parenting skills, and Chad was the only person she'd have wanted filling that void.

She'd needed him.

They approached her car. As they crossed the quad, she'd withdrawn her keys from her pocket. She didn't even recall the act, but Chad had noticed and took them to unlock the door. Then he opened it and waited for her to slide inside. He then reached across her and placed her books on the passenger seat, and Jessica inhaled the spicy, masculine scent of his cologne.

“Chad,” she whispered.

“Yes,” he said, reaching across her once more to fasten her seatbelt in place.

“Thank you for everything.”

He paused, his face mere inches from her as he leaned into the car. “I meant it, Jess, when I told you that I want a relationship with you. And having one with you means having one with Nathan.” He grinned. “And it means you having one with Lainey, which you've already started. She adored you, you know.”

“She's a precious little girl.”

“Well, you're ahead of me there. I've still yet to meet your little guy. But I'm looking forward to it, especially now that I know he and I have something in common, geniuses and all.”

Jessica was overwhelmed by the realization that Nathan would meet his father before the week ended, and, like Nathan had said last Sunday in the car, he was “gonna love him.”

C
had's mother was only forty-seven, but her hair had been solid white for as long as he could remember. In Chad's mind, her premature gray occurred approximately the same year that his father had left them. However, though she'd often been exhausted and definitely stressed at trying to make ends meet on her own with two children, Mae Martin never complained. And she never let her children believe that there wasn't anything they couldn't accomplish.

She entered Chad's house with her tan overnight bag draped across her shoulder and a red teddy bear in her hand. “Hey, sorry I'm late. They were putting out the Valentine's display at work, and I wanted to get Lainey something.” She indicated the bear. “Isn't it precious?”

The bear held a white heart with Too Cute embroidered across the center.

“Very precious, just like our little lady,” Chad said, holding the little lady and kissing her cheek. “Look what Grandma brought you, Lainey.”

Lainey's smile stretched into her cheeks, and she
reached out, not so much for the bear, but for her grandma. “Gamma.”

Chad's mother dropped her overnight case on the couch and took Lainey. “How's my little angel?”

“She's great,” Chad said. “And she's been pretty excited all afternoon. I told her you were coming to spend the night.”

Lainey accepted her teddy bear and snuggled her nose against his face. “Tank oo.”

“You're welcome, darling,” his mother said. “I'm glad you asked me to stay here tonight. Lainey does seem to do better when she sleeps in her own bed, and I didn't want you rushing to get home early to pick her up from my place. This way, if you and Jessica want to go to a late movie, you don't have to worry.”

“I appreciate that, Mom.”

“No, I appreciate the chance to spend time with her.”

“I've got her dinner ready and was just about to put her in the high chair,” he said.

“I could've done that,” his mother said, frowning a bit.

“I know, but you've worked all day, and I didn't want you to have to worry about cooking, either. I fixed enough for you, too. Nothing special, chicken fingers and mashed potatoes.”

“Lainey's favorite,” his mom said, following him into the kitchen and locating one of Lainey's oversize dinner bibs on the counter. She snapped the pink bib in place and then put Lainey in her chair.

Lainey clapped when she saw her plate, then scooped up her sippy cup and started working on her juice.

“Okay, you'll probably need to head out, right?” his mother said. “Don't worry about us. We'll be fine.”

“I know,” Chad said, kissing the top of Lainey's head and inhaling the sweet scent of her baby shampoo. “Love you, sweetie.”

Lainey's lips smacked as she released the sippy cup. “Wuv oo.”

“I didn't mention it before, but I wanted to let you know that I'll probably need to leave early in the morning. That's okay, right?” she said, turning away from him and busying herself with the dishwasher.

Chad knew why she hadn't mentioned it, and he also knew why she was avoiding looking at him. “You're working tomorrow? I thought you weren't working Saturdays anymore. Is there something you need, Mom, because I can give you—”

She audibly exhaled, turned back to him and smiled. “Honey, I don't need you to give me anything else. You do way too much for me as it is.”

“I'd like to do more,” he said, as he often did. She let him buy her a decent car and she'd accepted the fact that he was determined to put a nice sum of spending money in her bank account each month, but she wouldn't let him support her completely, no matter how many times he asked. Chad was making good money now, and she'd struggled her entire life, working until she could barely stand up, all because she never wanted Chad or Becky to want for anything. He simply wanted her to be able to rest and enjoy life for a change. “And if you don't need me to help, why are you going in on a Saturday?”

“I volunteered. They're shorthanded at the store to morrow, just for the early hours. I'll be done by eight,
and I thought I'd come back here then so you can go to your practice.”

“My practice?”

She pointed to the calendar on the side of the refrigerator where Chad had notated that tomorrow morning was the first baseball practice for the local men's league. He'd signed up last year and found that he really enjoyed getting out and burning off some energy with other guys his age. Most teams didn't start practicing until February, since the first game wasn't until mid-March but Chad and his friends were anxious to get started. And they really liked to win. Plus, his mom enjoyed keeping Lainey while he went, and once it started warming up, she'd even brought her to the games. “You don't need to miss the first one.” She closed the dishwasher and moved to the table to sit beside Lainey while she gnawed on a piece of chicken.

“It wouldn't have been a problem for Jess and I to change our plans to tomorrow night,” he said.

“No, indeed. This isn't just some ordinary date. This is Jessica Bowman.” She paused, helped Lainey guide a spoonful of potatoes to her mouth. “I never knew what happened back then between you two, but I know that you still loved her long after she moved away. And I know that she was a good girl, an honest girl.
She
wouldn't have lied to you.”

Chad knew what she was thinking. Jessica wouldn't have lied to him—not like Kate. But his mother wouldn't complete the sentence, not with Lainey nearby. Even though she was only eighteen months old, they were very protective of everything she heard that concerned her mother. And unfortunately, there wasn't anything good that could be said for Kate, except that she'd given him
Lainey. For that, he'd always be grateful to her, in spite of the pain she'd put him through.

“I'm telling Jessica tonight,” he said.

The spoon stopped momentarily as his mother processed that. “About Kate?” she asked, her mouth flattening as she guided the potatoes to her granddaughter's waiting open mouth.

Lainey swallowed, reached for her juice and slurped. Then she turned her attention back to the chicken, which she could handle easily on her own. Chad's mother took the opportunity to focus on her son.

“What, exactly, are you telling her?” she asked.

“Everything.”

She nodded, as though she'd known and expected, no less. “About Lainey, too, then.”

“Yes.”

She leaned toward her granddaughter, ran her lips across Lainey's baby soft curls. “Such a little darling. And to think, what could have happened.”

Chad didn't want to think about it, but he'd have to tonight because he didn't want to start a relationship with Jessica unless she knew and understood everything about Kate. And Lainey. “Mom, you know how I feel about Jess. And if we're going to be together I don't want any secrets between us.”

“I know.”

“I want her to know about what happened during the years we were apart, and I'm wanting to learn the same about her. There's something I haven't told you about Jess. She has a son. His name is Nathan.” He'd talked to his mother several times since he and Jessica had run into each other on the college campus, and he'd told her
about her returning to school, working in the day care, spending time with Lainey.

However, he hadn't told her about Jessica's little boy. He hadn't wanted her opinion of Jess to change, and like she'd said earlier, she'd always seen Jessica Bowman as a good girl. Which was only right. Jess was a good girl, an honest girl. Yes, she'd had a baby before marriage, but he didn't want that marring his mother's opinion. Now he wanted to hear her say it didn't.

“She has a son?” Her green eyes widened a bit, mouth rolled inward as though she were trying to comprehend the reality.

“More,” Lainey said. She'd dropped the spoon, since Grandma was handling it better anyway, and now waited to be fed. She opened her mouth wider, emphasizing her request.

Mae smiled at her and fed her another spoonful, then another, while Chad waited for more of a response. Finally, when Lainey grabbed her sippy again, she said, “His name is Nathan?”

“Yes, and he's actually in kindergarten at Claremont Elementary. She was a little nervous about moving him midyear, but he's doing okay.” Chad grinned. “He likes spending time on his own, and Jess was a bit worried about that, but I reminded her how you and Mrs. O'Ryan had been concerned about me for the same reason, and I think he's going to be just fine.”

She'd started breaking up additional bits of chicken for Lainey, and her hands paused for a moment. “He's in kindergarten?”

“Yes.”

“Have you met him?” Her question came quick, as though she was concerned about the possibility of Chad
meeting Jessica's son. But Chad wasn't concerned at all. He knew he'd get along with Nathan as well as she got along with Lainey. And after his conversations with her last night about Nathan, he now had a bit of insight to what the boy liked—primarily a challenge. In fact, he'd surfed the net awhile this afternoon looking at building sets for kids over eight. True, Nathan was five, but he liked a challenge, and Chad was definitely the right guy to help him out. That'd be a great way to bond, too, creating something together.

Chad couldn't wait—not only to play with the little boy but to grow closer to a child who was a part of Jessica.

“Have you? Met him yet?” his mother asked again, and she seemed to be trying to control the urgency of her tone.

“No,” he said, grinning. “But if I don't meet him tonight when I pick her up, I'll definitely meet him tomorrow. We're taking Nathan and Lainey to Hydrangea Park to feed the ducks.”

She inhaled, and Chad thought she was going to say more, but then she remained silent.

“I'm sure Nathan and I will hit it off,” he assured.

Her smile was genuine now. And she nodded. “I'm sure you will.” She blinked a few times, and Chad noticed her eyes glistening, the way they always did when her emotions were getting the best of her.

“Mom, it'll be okay.”

“Do you know anything about Nathan's father?” she asked hesitantly.

“I know that Jessica loved him, and I know that he didn't want to marry her.” He paused. “I'm hoping she'll open up and talk to me about it tonight. Nathan's a big
part of her life, and I'm praying that means he'll be a big part of my life, too.”

“He didn't want to marry her?” Her head cocked to the side, eyes squinted as though finding this completely absurd.

“I don't understand either, but she said he never asked. Like I said, I'm planning for us to talk, about both of our pasts, tonight. And then, I'd really like the two of us to stop talking about the past—and concentrate on the future.”

“You always loved her.”

It wasn't a question, and Chad didn't have to answer. She knew.

Lainey's head rested against her shoulder. Her hands were no longer making any effort to maneuver the food on her plate, and her eyes paused between blinks. Her grandmother noticed and eased her out of the chair.

“I think we'll take a bath and put on jammies.” She looked at Chad. “Jessica is staying with her parents now?”

“Until she finds a place of her own.”

“I haven't seen them in a while. Maybe I'll give them a call, you know, and catch up.” She drew Lainey close. “I suppose I'd have seen them, maybe would have kept up with Jessica more if I'd have kept going to church.”

Chad didn't know what to say to that. His mother hadn't been on the best of terms with God in a long time. She'd taken him and Becky to church when they were young and when they all went together as a family. When he still had a father at home. After his dad left so did her faith.

But a few times during his high school years, Chad had convinced her to come. Easter, Christmas and a
couple of special services when the teens were putting on plays for the church and Jessica had encouraged him and Becky to take a part. Chad remembered standing on the stage dressed as a shepherd and seeing his mother sitting on a pew beside Jessica's folks and big, wet droplets falling like water down her cheeks. She'd never discouraged Chad or Becky to have a relationship with God; she just hadn't been able to muster one up herself.

But Chad suspected that deep down she wanted to go back. And he thought that perhaps God was showing him an opening to help her make that happen. “I want Lainey to grow up going to church,” he said, and instantly recalled Jessica's similar statement. “We've been a few times, but it hasn't been consistent. And I think it's important and that it, well, that it'll make her life better, if she goes.”

Her mouth quivered involuntarily before she seemed to regain control. “I think so, too,” she whispered.

“But I honestly believe that it's important for the whole family to go, together,” he added.

Again, she nodded. “I do, too, honey. And I would love for that to be the case for you and Jessica and Nathan and Lainey. Wouldn't that be something, after all these years, for you two, and your children, to be a real family? It'd be—” she paused “—a dream come true.”

He suspected she wasn't only talking about his dreams. She was talking about hers. But she didn't understand Chad's statement.

“Mom,” he said, moving closer to her and running a palm across the back of Lainey's head, now slumped on her shoulder as she slept.

“Yes?” she asked.

“When I say I want the whole family to go together,
I mean the whole family. I want you there, Mom. And more important than that, I'm certain that God wants you there, too.”

A single tear slipped free. “I don't know. It's been a long time.” She gave a watery smile. “I'm not sure He even remembers me.”