Here to Stay (5 page)

“He already is, isn’t he?”

“Technically,” she allowed.

“Technically and otherwise, Nathan’s a good
man, Paige. And you know it.” He raised a bushy, gray eyebrow at
her. “Losing you cut him to the bone. He hasn’t been the same
since.”

Paige tamped down the guilt and hurt that
stirred with those words. “Nathan isn’t the only one who got
hurt.”

“He changed after you stopped coming back.
Closed up and distance himself from everyone. Focused all his
attention on the ranch and raising those world class
champions.”

“Obviously, not all his attention went to the
horses,” she said bitterly. “He did get married.”

“The marriage was a mistake, over before it
even began. Did you expect him to wait?”

“I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t
that.” Paige didn’t want to think about this anymore tonight, but
she did have one final question to ask. “Robert hasn’t mentioned
Nathan’s current social life. I had hoped to get some idea of how
he conducts himself before I tell him about Jesse.”

“You think Nathan would expose the boy to
something unseemly?” Silas eyed her skeptically.

“Well, no,” Paige explained. Silas knew she
didn’t mean it that way, but the lawyer in him had just popped out,
looking for the hidden motivation behind her question. “I know
Nathan is a good man, better than most. I just have to be sure that
his standard of living is what it should be. I love Jesse too much
to take any chances. It has been almost five years since I’ve spent
any time with Nathan.”

“I see,” Silas said with too much
understanding. “Nathan is young, good-looking, and more than
comfortable financially. There isn’t a single woman in this county
and a few others who hasn’t tried her luck at snaring him. But he’s
not one to gloat regarding his conquests. Nathan keeps his personal
life personal. However, he doesn’t appear to be interested in a
long term relationship. Between losing you and the divorce, I’d say
he’s a little gun shy.”

She shifted, suddenly uncomfortable. “I
suppose so.”

“Paige, what’s the real problem?”

“I’m afraid,” Paige confessed reluctantly.
“Nathan is so angry with me, not to mention my father. How can I
ever trust him with my son?”

“Jesse’s his son, too.”

“I know, But that—” She broke off at the
sight of Nathan sauntering across the room with a beautiful redhead
draped over his right arm.

Silas turned to see what had captured Paige’s
attention. He cleared his throat upon seeing Nathan and quickly
directed his attention back to his unfinished ribeye.

Paige’s attention remained riveted on the
couple. Nathan’s long, blue-black hair lay against his shoulders
like a curtain of dark silk. An uncharacteristic white shirt
covered his broad shoulders and made his bronzed skin look even
darker. Her mouth parched as her gaze followed the trail of sleek
skin revealed by the shirt that fell unbuttoned all the way to the
center of his chest. Faded blue denim molded his lean body, while
silver and turquoise belted his waist.

Paige felt a gentle shock when Nathan’s gaze
collided with hers. Heat spanned the distance and sent an even
stronger wave rumbling through her. Nathan smiled and guided his
date in Paige’s direction.

“Mind your manners, girlie,” Silas
admonished.

Nathan and the clinging redhead came to a
stop at their table. “Silas, aren’t you the lucky one tonight?” He
looked from Silas to Paige and back as he extended his hand.

Silas shook Nathan’s outstretched hand. “You
don’t seem to be doing so badly yourself.” Silas winked and Nathan
grinned.

The redhead giggled. Paige shot her a
disgusted look. The black spandex hugging the woman’s body couldn’t
have amounted to more than half a yard of material. A string of
black pearls cinched her neck. A raw, burning emotion swelled
inside Paige. She stopped breathing and had the overwhelming desire
to scratch the woman’s green eyes out.

“Celine, this is Paige Weston.” Nathan nodded
toward Paige, a note of total male satisfaction in his voice.

“Hey, Paige,” Celine purred.

“Nice to meet you,” Paige muttered. She
clasped her hands in her lap.

“Silas, I believe you and Celine already know
each other.”

“Of course.” Silas took the hand Celine
graciously extended and dropped a light kiss on her knuckles,
evoking another giggle from the woman. “Who wouldn’t know one of
the prettiest ladies in town?”

Celine burst into another fit of too-feminine
laughter.

Paige almost choked.
Men!
How they
kissed up to a pretty face. She had to consciously refrain from
gagging at the whole scene.

Nathan shot a wry grin at Silas. “Have a nice
evening, folks,” he said, his tone as smooth as glass. He tightened
his grip on his date and sauntered away with that sexy male walk
that made Paige shiver in spite of her irritation.

Only then did Paige realize she’d been
holding her breath. Her entire body pulsed with a mixture of pain
and anger. He had blatantly flaunted that…that woman in her face,
probably just to see how she would react. Nathan Blackrope was
nothing but a lying, cheating, two-timing…Why should she be
surprised? She’d known it five years ago and it was no doubt still
true. He had wasted no time in getting over Paige then, why would
he behave differently now? Besides, what did she care how many
women he had? She could have other men—if she wanted them. She’d
had plenty of offers. Plenty, she repeated silently. But she had a
busy career—and a son to raise.

“Would you like to go, Paige?” Silas asked,
concern clouding his eyes. “I mean, if Nathan and Celine—”

“I’m fine, Silas. Why don’t we have dessert?”
Paige nervously pushed back a stray lock of hair. No way would she
go running out now and give Nathan the satisfaction of thinking he
had caused her one millisecond of discomfort. What she felt right
now was just the residual hurt from the past. Nothing more.

Silas smiled and motioned for the waitress.
“Two coffees and two Cherry Delights,” he told the woman in the
checkered apron.

Paige watched the waitress scurry away to
fetch their orders. The surroundings that had suddenly faded into
obscurity in Nathan’s presence, eased back into awareness. The
slow, sensuous beat of a love song floated across the smoky room.
Seemingly, with a will of its own, Paige’s gaze moved to the
near-empty dance floor. Long, pink-nailed fingers threaded through
Nathan’s dark hair. Willowy arms tightened around his neck.
Celine’s curvaceous body molded to his.

Not wanting to look, but unable to turn away,
Paige watched Nathan’s slow, rhythmic movements. His hands slid up
the woman’s back to tangle in her mane of red hair. His gaze
focused on Celine as they moved in perfect harmony.

The waitress momentarily distracted Paige as
she delivered the coffee and pie. But she had no appetite for
dessert.

She swallowed the need to cry as she
continued to watch his sensual movements. She’d forgotten what a
good dancer Nathan was. Graceful and sexy, his body blended
perfectly with the music’s rhythm. She sucked in a sharp breath as
Nathan’s mouth descended even closer to the other woman’s in the
promise of a kiss.

Paige could almost feel his breath on her
face, his arms around her waist. But it wasn’t her on that dance
floor, it was someone else. She would never again be held like
that…looked at like that by Nathan. Nathan Blackrope hated her now.
Only the lingering bond of their childhood remained.

The long-ago hurt she had thought at least
partially healed struck with renewed intensity. And now she would
never have anyone. Who would want what was left of her after the
doctors had finished? Sure, she looked whole on the outside, but
inside she was hollow.
Empty
.

“I’d like to go now, Silas.” Her voice
quaked. Paige clenched her jaw to hold back a sob.

“Certainly.” Silas stood and dropped some
cash on the table.

Paige scooted from the booth and followed him
to his car without a backward glance. All this time she had been so
stupid. Deep down inside she’d hoped that somehow, he might still
love her just a little. That maybe a tiny part of the Nathan she
used to know still existed. Actually seeing him with another woman
tonight had put a visual image with the betrayal she had suffered
so long ago.

“Paige, I’m sorry if—”

“It’s okay, Silas. It doesn’t matter. Just
take me to Robert’s, please.” She swiped at the tears trickling
down her cheeks and focused on the darkness surrounding them. It
hurt like hell, but at least she knew the truth. Nathan didn’t care
about her. He resented her. But that was all. If he had ever loved
her, he certainly didn’t now. She needed to know that. To see what
she saw, no matter how much it hurt. She had known all along,
tonight had merely confirmed the facts. Memories were all she and
Nathan shared…except for Jesse.

Well, Paige affirmed, she hadn’t come to
Trinity looking for lost love anyway. She came to tell Nathan he
had a son. A son who needed his father because his mother had had
the ultimate wake-up call. Paige clenched her teeth as anger rose
inside her.
Cancer
. The word exploded inside her head and
Paige closed her eyes against it.

~*~

Nathan thought he could hear Paige calling
him. Sweet Paige. God, how he loved her.
Nathan
, the voice
taunted.
I’m here
, he wanted to call out, but couldn’t. He
couldn’t wake up. And she was so far away. He hugged his pillow to
his chest.

“Nathan.”

Nathan rolled over and slowly forced his eyes
open. The alcohol-induced sleep didn’t want to release him. The
darkness curled around him, urging him to close his eyes and drift
back into unconsciousness.

“Nathan!”

The voice was louder now, more insistent. He
blinked and tried to focus. The semi-dark room moved in and out of
clarity. He pushed his hand over his face and stared toward the
sound.

“Nathan, wake up, you jerk.”

“Paige,” he mumbled as he tried to sit up.
His mouth was sand-dry and his head felt like a train had run
through it. His stomach churned and he groaned. Despite his mental
stupor, he felt certain that she was in the room. He could hear
her…He could smell her fresh sunflower scent.

“You’re the scum of the earth, Blackrope.
Lower than a snake’s belly.”

Her image finally came into focus. “Paige?”
Nathan licked his lips and raised up on his elbows, rubbed his eyes
and squinted in her direction. The effort was too much. He fell
back onto his pillow and tried to figure out what she would be
doing in his bedroom. She couldn’t really be here, he had to be
dreaming. Still, he tried to focus on the figure standing over his
bed, but the urge to close his eyes was too great.

“Get up,” the voice demanded.

Nathan snapped his eyes open and focused on
the mirage once more. Paige had gotten all gussied up for some
reason. Maybe, Nathan thought, he’d died and didn’t know it yet.
After the way he’d behaved last night, he didn’t deserve to live
anyway. If he closed his eyes, maybe he’d wake up out of his
misery—in hell, where he belonged.

“I said get up!”

Paige jerked the pillow from under his head.
Nathan moaned at the daggers of pain that shot through his skull.
Damn…He was in hell.

“Stop…My head is killing me.”

“Good.” She gave the mattress under him a
swift kick. “You must have been pretty drunk last night, because
you left your front door standing wide open.”

“Stop shouting,” he begged in a near whisper.
Nathan opened his eyes and looked up at the source of his
discomfort. Paige. He frowned. She really was here. She’d put her
hair up somehow. He didn’t like it. Nathan liked it when all that
soft, honey-colored stuff hung free around her shoulders. A blue
skirt and jacket. He didn’t like the suit, either. Too stuffy. He
liked Paige better in jeans and a T-shirt or naked. He smiled.

“What the Sam Hill are you smiling
about?”

“Stop shouting, dammit,” he demanded then
wished he hadn’t. He squeezed his eyes shut, groaned and held
perfectly still until the room stopped spinning and the pain
subsided again.

“I have to be in court in less than three
hours. Now get up!”

Nathan opened his eyes and looked up at her
again. “What is it you want, woman?”

Paige’s dismayed gaze suddenly locked on his
body. Only then did Nathan realize that
he
was naked. All
that prevented him from being completely exposed was the corner of
the sheet draped over his private parts. If she didn’t stop looking
at him with that wide-eyed expression, that part would soon be
making an appearance.

She dragged her gaze to his and cleared her
throat. “Windborne has gone into labor—”

“Damnation, Blondie, why didn’t you say so?”
Nathan sprang from the bed, eliciting a gasp and a gaping mouth
from Paige. “Whoa.” Nathan closed his eyes and steadied himself
against the vertigo. He fumbled for his jeans and jerked them on.
“Did you call Walden?” he managed to ask without his head
exploding.

“The vet is with her now,” she said, her back
turned. “I have to leave for Memphis. I know Robert would want one
of us there.”

“You’re right. Thanks for letting me know.”
Nathan plowed a hand through his hair and ignored the queasy
sensation rising in his stomach. A flashback of the previous day’s
events slammed into his head. Words he’d said. Celine.
Damn.
He passed a hand over his face. “Look, Paige, I’m sorry about
yesterday.”

Paige didn’t turn around or speak, but her
posture stiffened. The knowledge of how insensitive he’d been would
have made him sick had he not already been at death’s door.

“I didn’t mean to say all those things. I
didn’t think.”