Hero (7 page)

“You don’t have an answer for that do you?”

Adelle could only grunt, trying to force the words out. “Grrrrr…”

“No, that’s okay.” Natsinet silenced her by placing a finger over Adelle’s lips. “Come on, let’s get some fresh clothes on you.”

Natsinet helped Adelle into the living room and dressed her in a fresh pair of clothes. It was the first time in more than a week that Adelle had sat in her own living room. Her mind was racing again with a plan of escape as Natsinet quickly put fresh sheets on her bed. She was still trying to figure out what kind of trauma the nurse might have gone through as a child to make her bottle up all that hostility and anger, all of that self-loathing. Natsinet had definitely suffered some sort of blow against her racial identity while growing up, something that affected her self-image drastically but that she’d kept hidden, buried for all these years. And it had started to come bubbling to the surface while she was working in the ER.

It was obvious she’d had a good life in her formative years. It sounded like she never made the attempt to know other Black people, especially those of lower income. Natsinet’s racial hatred was even worse than some of the White people she’d met during her Civil Rights marches thirty years ago, the ones who had thrown eggs and rocks and bottles at her and hurled disgusting and degrading racial epithets at her. It seemed Natsinet identified more with her mother’s side, her White side, than her Black side, though she seemed to have no problem with Black people who were successful in assimilating with White society.

But there was something else…something Adelle couldn’t quite put her finger on, something that was deeply wrong about the nurse, something that convinced Adelle that if she didn’t somehow escape from this woman her life would be in serious jeopardy.

Natsinet came to collect Adelle just as she was gathering up the willpower and the strength to hobble over to the end table to pick up a picture frame—it was heavy enough to crack a skull with. Instead, Natsinet helped her up and got her back into bed. Adelle felt better being in bed with fresh sheets, a fresh pillowcase supporting her head.

“Now remember,” Natsinet said, standing at Adelle’s left side. The nurse took her arm and with one swift move pushed her sleeve up and gave her an injection with a syringe she’d had hidden below her line of sight. “If you say anything about what happened, they won’t believe you. The sleeves of your gown will hide the worst of the burns. Besides, they’ll likely be gone by tomorrow.”

No
, Adelle thought, already feeling her consciousness slip away.

“I’ll see you when you wake up,” Natsinet said, smiling.

Wake up
?

And then, darkness.

Chapter Ten

“So, you’re saying she has an infection?”

“It’s nothing serious,” Rachael Williams said. She was the backup nurse Hospice Nursing had sent and she was standing in the kitchen with Tonya going over her mother’s chart. It was Saturday afternoon, nearly one week after mother had come home. Tonya had dropped by last night and this afternoon to see mother, but both times Adelle had been asleep.

“She has a fever of a hundred and one. Natsinet said she started coming down with it yesterday morning.”

“Yeah, but…she’s been sleeping an awful lot.”

“Your mother needs her rest,” Rachael said. Unlike Natsinet, Tonya felt good about Rachael the minute she’d met her. Tonya had stopped by last night with her daughter Tess and she’d immediately gotten a warm feeling from the woman. Rachael was in her mid-thirties, with a full figure that could only be termed voluptuous. She wore her hair straight. Her skin tone was a rich dark chocolate.

“She was up briefly last night around two-thirty and asked for a drink of water, then went back to sleep.”

“Was she up this morning?”

“For a moment. She asked for a pen and paper and tried writing something down, but her penmanship…the medication Dr. Albright prescribed will make her sleepy.”

“What medication is this?”

Rachael told her and Tonya could only shake her head. Her mother was on so many medications now it was hard to keep them straight. She would have to talk to Dr. Albright herself.

“So…when do you think she’ll come around?” Tonya asked.

“Probably later this evening. Just in time for her next dose.”

“My God!”

“I know. But the infection should be gone by Monday morning. After that, Natsinet can resume your mother’s physical therapy.”

“How did that go, by the way?”

“According to Natsinet’s notes, very well.” Rachael gave Tonya a rundown of the physical therapy and her mother’s progress, telling her to keep in mind that it could be another six weeks before they saw any real progress. “That’s probably part of the reason why I couldn’t make out your mother’s handwriting. Natsinet said the physical therapy would make her tired.”

“I hope she isn’t over-exerting my mother,” Tonya said.

Rachael smiled. “Not at all, Mrs. Brown. I see no signs of that. Your mother’s doing really quite well.”

Tonya relaxed. Yes, her mother was doing well. Both times she’d gone into her room to see her, momma had been fast asleep. She didn’t look as sick or as wasted away or old as she did when she was in the hospital. She wondered if the physical therapy was having an affect on her mother’s overall physical appearance. Still, she wished she could talk to her mother, to spend even a few minutes with her, to hear from momma herself.

“You know, I think I’m going to spend the night. I want to be here when my mother wakes up.” She walked back into her mother’s room and pulled a chair over to her bedside. Rachael followed her. “I just think I should be here for her. I feel like she needs me.” She stroked her mother’s hair and rubbed her palm against the smooth skin of her forehead. It was hot to the touch. Her mother stirred in her sleep but remained unconscious.

“Oh, that’s fine of course. You can stay in my room if you like and I can sleep on the couch.”

“No, that’s alright. You keep your room. I want to be right here beside my mother in case she wakes up in the middle of the night or something.”

Rachael nodded.

“Well, how about I gather up some blankets and pillows and make you a nice bed here on the floor?”

“I’d appreciate that.”

Rachael turned to leave.

“Rachael?”

“Yes?”

“What do you think of Natsinet? I mean…she seem kinda cold to you? You know…sort of unfriendly?”

“I think that’s just how they are where she’s from. I don’t really know her that well. She’s new to the agency. But she’s one of the most qualified nurses we have. Overqualified actually. I don’t know why anyone with a Bachelor’s degree in Medicine and four years in the ER would want to do this for a living. I mean, I love my job, but it seems like she should want to go to medical school or something, get her MD and start practicing. Her family has the money to send her, or so I hear. I did hear that she got burnt out working in the ER. Maybe she’s just taking a little break. I know I couldn’t do that job. All that blood and screaming and little kids dying in your arms. I couldn’t do it.” She shook her head, “I mean, when people die in our care it’s after they’ve lived long lives. Not unexpectedly when they’re still young with their lives ahead of them. Most of the people in hospice care just go quietly in their sleep and it’s no real surprise to anyone. Oh…I didn’t mean…”

“That’s okay. I know what you meant.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be talking about dying with your mother. She’s fine though. She’s got plenty of good years ahead of her. Uh…I’ll go get those sheets.”

“Thank you, Rachael.”

Tonya knew the woman meant no harm. Still, the last thing she needed to be reminded of was her mother’s mortality. She adjusted the covers around her mother to make sure she was comfortable. She had to admit, her mother did look rather peaceful and relaxed. She even seemed to be losing weight. Not so much that it was alarming, but just enough to make her look a little younger and healthier. Everyone she spoke to about Natsinet assured her that the woman knew what she was doing. Maybe she was just worrying for nothing. Just to be certain, Tonya wanted to make sure she was here when her mother awoke. It might be next weekend before she could make it out to see her again and she wanted to make sure she was okay.

“Mrs. Brown?”

Rachael had poked her head back into the room and was looking sheepishly at the floor.

“Yes, Rachael?”

Rachael looked away from the floor, as if she was finally summoning up the courage to say what she wanted to say. “I just wanted to say how proud I am to be taking care of your mother. I met her once, you know? She came to my high school the year I graduated. She gave a speech on how we should all continue our educations and go to college. How we could be anything we wanted to be, have everything we ever dreamed of if we were just willing to work hard for it and carry ourselves like respectable young men and women and not get involved in drugs or start dropping out of school and having babies. She told us that we had a duty to our ancestors to better ourselves. We owed it to all of those who struggled and died so that we could be free and have all the rights we now took for granted. I still think about what she said sometimes. When I was going through nursing school and trying to raise my two sons by myself at the same time and it was so hard I just wanted to quit, I kept thinking about what your mother said about us having a duty to all those who died in the struggle. It kept me going. I-I just wanted to say that.”

The nurse ducked back out of the room and Tonya turned back to stare at her mother. The woman had touched so many lives. Tonya didn’t know what she would do without her. She wished that Rachael could be there with her all the time. There was something about that other nurse, Natsinet, she just did not trust.

Chapter Eleven

Adelle could not tell whether she was awake or still dreaming. She couldn’t seem to focus. She felt delirious, dizzy. Everything seemed blurry as if she were looking at the room through a pair of glasses with the wrong prescription. Adelle felt like she was drunk or high, neither of which she’d been since the seventies. Her eyelids were heavy and all she wanted to do was close them again.

There was someone in the room with her and Adelle tried to focus on the person, hoping it was the doctor, or the new nurse, or maybe even Tonya, her torment finally over.

“Momma? Momma, are you awake? It’s me, Tonya. Can you hear me Momma?”

Adelle nodded her head and gestured for a pen and paper. Then her head dropped and her eyes closed and she had to force herself to wake back up.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I so tired? Why can’t I focus on anything?

Somehow, Natsinet was still keeping her drugged even when she wasn’t there. She must have switched the pills in her prescription bottles, substituting some kind of narcotic for her normal medication. Adelle’s eyes closed again.

“Momma? You still awake? Here’s your pen and paper.”

Adelle snapped awake again but the fog was still in her head, clouding her thoughts. Her eyes remained closed when Tonya slipped the pen into her hand. Keeping her eyes open was beginning to seem almost impossible but Adelle knew she had to tell Tonya what was going on, had to let her know what Natsinet had done to her. She was thinking of what to write when she found herself dreaming of her and Walt in the hospital as the nurse brought out their new baby girl and placed her in Adelle’s arms. It had been Walt’s idea to name her Tonya. Adelle woke up again. Tonya was standing above her looking concerned.

“It’s okay Momma. I know you’re tired. You just get your rest. We can talk in the morning.”

Tonya reached for the pen and Adelle snatched it away. This could be her last chance. She had to write something before she passed out again. But what?

How can I tell her what’s going on when I can’t even keep my eyes open? Maybe I’ll tell her not to give me any more drugs? Then once my head clears I can tell her everything that’s been going on.

But she didn’t know what Natsinet had given her or how long the effects might last. The next time she woke up it could be Monday morning and Tonya might be gone.

Besides, Tonya would probably just think I was being stubborn and not wanting to take my medication.

“You need to sleep Momma. You look so tired.”

Adelle nodded again and her eyes closed and she found herself with Tonya on her lap in a little black dress with white stockings and a veil. Tonya was less than a year old. Directly in front of them was a casket. Her husband was inside. Adelle started to weep, then realized she was dreaming again and shook it off. She had to stay awake. She tried to concentrate but it was getting harder and harder. Whatever drugs they’d given her seemed to be intensifying as if she’d just recently received a dosage. She had to write something quick before she fell asleep again.

But what? What should I write? I could just write “Help” but Tonya might not interpret that properly either. She might think I was just complaining about my condition and if I wrote “Natsinet” she might think I was calling for the crazy bitch.

Adelle’s eyes began to close once again as she quickly scribbled something onto her notepad. She was fast asleep when Tonya removed the pad and pen from her lap and looked at what her mother had written, trying to figure out what she could possibly have meant by it.

There were just two little words scrawled across the pad.
My Guns
.

“Rachael?”

“Yes, Mrs. Brown?”

“You’re certain my mother hasn’t said anything to you?”

“Not at all, ma’am.” Rachael was in the kitchen unloading the dishwasher. “Medication she’s on has made her really groggy even when she’s awake. She’s mostly been watching TV.”

“But you have been trying to engage her in some kind of mental activity, correct?”

“Oh, of course, Mrs. Brown. In fact, Dr. Albright prescribed a new medication called Parlodel. It’s usually prescribed for Parkinson’s patients, but it’s been known to help stroke patients regain their speech. Your mother seemed happy to hear that.”

“I’m happy to hear that too. But…my mother hasn’t…expressed to you that anything could be wrong?”

Rachael paused from her duties. “No ma’am. Why?”

Tonya looked at the notepad she held in her hands. Those words,
My Guns
, leaped out at her. What could momma have meant by it? Was she concerned that Natsinet would find the handgun she normally kept in the magazine rack? That was a valid concern, one Tonya had tried to eliminate by moving the weapons to a more secure location. She knew that the medications her mother was taking for the stroke as well as the infection she had might muddle her mind, make her confused, hallucinate even. She wondered if this was the result of some subconscious part of her mother’s brain worrying about things and it manifested itself in this hastily scrawled note.

“Is everything okay, Mrs. Brown?”

Tonya looked over at Rachael.

“Yes, everything’s fine.”

She turned and headed back to her mother’s room and went directly to the closet. She knelt down and picked up the shoebox on the floor, opened it up. The .45 lay inside, where she’d left it. She reached further into the closet for the second shoebox and checked it; ditto the Sig Sauer. She sighed, relieved. Momma was probably just dreaming. She was worried about things at home and it manifested itself in her heavily medicated mind and—

“Mrs. Brown?” Rachael was standing at the threshold of momma’s room.

“Everything’s okay,” Tonya said. She hurriedly closed the lids of the shoeboxes and put them back in their place. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay.”

She waited until Rachael retreated to the kitchen, then she rummaged around in the closet. There was a pile of old blankets on the top shelf. She moved the shoeboxes that contained the guns and nestled them between the blankets, making sure they were secure and well-hidden.
That should take care of that
, she thought.

“Mrs. Brown, I have a shopping list I’m drawing up,” Rachael called out from the kitchen. “Can you pick up a few things for me?”

“Sure.” Rachael shut the closet doors, set the notepad down on the bureau and exited her mother’s room. “What do you need?”

And for the time being the thought of what her mother could have possibly meant by those two words was gone from Tonya’s mind.