Heroes (Hollywood Heartthrobs #1) (18 page)

“Good
morning.” She grinned, reveling in the feeling of waking up next to Dean. A
girl could get used to this, she thought.

“So,
any big plans for the day?” Dean asked playfully.

“I’ll
have to check my schedule, what did you have in mind?”

“I’ve
got some ideas,” Dean said, nuzzling her neck. Jane murmured with pleasure. He
stopped suddenly and jumped up out of bed. “But it means I need to run a quick
errand.”

Jane
groaned. “You tease.”

Dean
made a face at her as he pulled on his clothes. “I’ll be back. I’ve got to pick
something up, it might take a while, but then I’m taking you out for the day. Think
you can clear your schedule?”

“I
think that can be arranged.”

Dean
came back to the bed and kissed her again. He paused at the bedroom door and
turned to look at her. Jane, gloriously naked, laying in a bed they had shared
the night before. It was an astonishingly beautiful sight. Dean felt a shiver
of dark premonition wondering if he would ever see it again.

Heading
down the hallway Dean tried to shake off his fears. He knew Jane cared about
him, maybe even loved him, but was she in love with him, or the hero she
imagined him to be? Did she love the man she’d spent the past few days with, or
the man she thought had swooped in to save her? When she knew that she had
saved him, would she still feel the same? All he could do was hope.

Emerging
out into the sunshine, Dean felt suddenly better. It was a beautiful day, the
kind of sunny day where it seems nothing would be allowed to go wrong. He
headed south, towards the Theater District. According to the signs on the
highway (which he was getting to know very well), Shakespeare’s
Twelfth
Night
was playing at one of the theaters downtown. He knew this particular
theater reserved some seats for day-of rush sales, and on matinee days like
today the box office opened at 9am. He checked his phone. It was 8:30am. If he
walked fast, he’d be there just before opening. No movie today, he was taking
Jane on an actual date to see some actual theater. Afterwards, he thought,
maybe they’d take a walk, find somewhere nice to have dinner, and then he would
come clean. He hurried down Michigan Avenue, grateful for the relative
emptiness provided by the early hour.

***

After
Dean’s mysterious disappearance, Jane got up and pulled on her clothes from
yesterday. She poked around in the small kitchenette. Dean had bought milk and
cereal, but remembering how excited he had been about the improvised scones the
day before, she decided to venture out and pick up something she could bake.
It’s silly, she told herself, but harmless, and she liked to make him smile.

Dean
had left the keys and some cash in the dish on the kitchen counter in case she
needed it. She felt sure she would be back before him, so she took the keys and
locked the door behind her. It was really her first venture out on her own, and
she felt a sense of pride and independence heading down the elevator. At least,
as much pride and independence as she could feel, all things considered. Still,
she told herself, small victories. She asked the doorman where the nearest
grocery store was. He regarded her as if she had asked a most impertinent
question, but finally gave her vague directions a few blocks east. Pausing
briefly to admire the tulips, she headed off up the quiet streets towards the
wide expanse of Michigan Avenue. 

***

         
Jessie!
Adam started so violently he nearly overturned the tea set. He was off like a
shot, sprinting to the crosswalk. Jessie was walking up the other side of
Michigan Avenue. The early hour meant the sidewalks were comparatively empty,
but rush hour traffic into the city filled the six lanes between them. Adam
shouted, but she didn’t hear him. He waited impatiently for the light to
change; it felt like the longest few minutes of his life. Jessie went right
past the crosswalk he was waiting at, if the light didn’t change soon he might
lose her. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and there was a pink cast over her
left arm. It was definitely her.

          After what
seemed like years, the light mercifully changed. Adam darted across the street,
nearly into the path of a cab making a highly unlawful turn, but in that moment
everything that wasn’t Jessie ahead of him was a mere insignificant detail. He
shouted her name again, but the sound was lost in the drone of traffic. Finally
he caught up to her. He reached out and grabbed her right shoulder. She turned
around, alarmed.

          “Jessie?”
Adam panted.

          Alarm gave
way to a confused but happy smile. “Adam? What are you doing in Chicago?” A
heartbeat later the smile melted from her face, as if her mind had gone
somewhere far away. “Adam,” she repeated, barely above a whisper. Tears came to
her eyes. “Oh my God, Adam!” she shouted, engulfing him in a hug.

***

          Dean was
whistling in the elevator as he rode back up to the 24
^th
floor. It
was a little after 9:30, there had been a line for tickets but he was pleased
with the purchase. He couldn’t wait to see Jane’s face when he showed her.

          The door was
unlocked, like he had left it. He called Jane’s name as he came in. There was
no response. Suddenly the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. This was a
small apartment, there was nowhere she could be where she wouldn’t hear him. Sure
enough, the bedroom and bathroom were empty. He checked the dish on the counter
to verify the keys were there. They were, but so was something else. Dean
picked up the note. It was short, written on the back of a receipt from
something called Shakespeare & Company. The first three words tore his
chest open: Dean- I remember. Beneath that was written an address in the South
Loop and the time 12:45. It was signed J.

          Pointlessly
holding the note he had already memorized, Dean sat down heavily on the couch.
He tried to name the myriad feelings those few words called up. There was
excitement and relief that Jane had apparently regained at least some of her
memory. Enough for her to rush off, presumably back to her real life. But those
feelings were overshadowed by bigger, more frightening feelings. Loss, fear,
even a twinge of disappointment. Dean pulled the two tickets for
Twelfth
Night
out of his pocket and laid them carefully on the coffee table. He
thought about calling Jane’s phone, but decided against it. She seemed to have
left in a hurry. Probably in a rush to get back to wherever she had been before
he knew her. Or whomever, said a vicious little voice in his head. Dean had to
acknowledge that possibility now. Jane had worn no ring when the accident happened,
but he knew married couples who didn’t always wear rings. Even unmarried, there
was no guarantee Jane was unattached. Dean had just assumed there was no man in
her life because no one had come forward for her. It seemed to him any man
lucky enough to have a woman like that wouldn’t stand for her just
disappearing. Maybe he didn’t, the voice said. Maybe this is how long it took
him to find her.

          Dean had to
admit that would explain a lot. If Jane had suddenly remembered, why rush off
so fast? Why not tell him in person? The answers to that question seemed
universally bad. There was the possibility he had feared all along, that she
blamed him for the accident and wanted nothing to do with him. But, if that
were the case, why leave the address and time? Setting up a meet implied she
wanted to see him again, but leaving without an explanation? His thoughts kept
returning to what seemed the most likely scenario. There was someone else in
the picture. Maybe this meet was a chance to tell him somewhere safe, somewhere
public, where there would be no big scene. Jane wasn’t the type for big scenes,
Dean thought painfully. He crumpled the note and shoved it in the pocket of his
jeans, picked up the keys and stormed out. He couldn’t be here now.

          The elevator
ride back down seemed so different than the one he taken up just moments ago.
He had expected to return the victorious hero to his heroine, now he was
crawling away, tail between his legs. After a short argument with himself, he
stopped at the doorman’s desk.

          “Can I help
you with something?” It was the same snooty doorman who had let him and Jane in
just two days before. Was it really possible it had been just two days?

          “Yes. I’m
looking for Jane, the woman I was with, the other guest in Shiloh Jones’ unit.
Did she leave this morning?”

          “You mean
Mrs. Everett?” The doorman asked with a sneer. Dean took a breath, thinking of
the sign-in sheet. This son of a bitch is on my last nerve, Dean said to
himself. But there was no point in taking his anger out here, no matter how
good it might feel to shout at someone for a while. 

          “Yes. Did she
leave?”

          “She did. She
left shortly after you did, but then returned a few moments later in the
company of a gentleman. They took the elevator up, then came down and left
again.” There was something like a twinge of mirth in the doorman’s voice.

          Dean turned
and left without another word. That was it then, the company of a gentleman. He
cursed himself for his stupidity. A smart, beautiful, loving woman like Jane,
of course she’s going to have someone waiting for her. He’s probably been
searching the city for her (it’s what I’d have done, Dean thought fiercely).
Now they’re together and she wants to meet you somewhere nice and innocent.
Thank you for the crash pad, keep a better eye on your nephews next time, have
a nice life. The brushoff.

          Part of him
wanted not to show at all. But he would. He had to. If nothing else, he could
still say thank you for what she did for Alec. And he could see her one more
time.

          Weighing
privacy against the need to be heard over the sound of the train, Jessie
executed something between a whisper and a shout as she tried to explain her
disappearance to Adam.

          “So the kid
was fine, I know, I saw him again yesterday, but, wait, I’m getting ahead of
myself. I woke up Monday night in the hospital with no memory. Nothing, zero,
perfect tableau rasa and there’s this guy, Dean. Adam, I can’t wait for you to
meet this guy.”

          Adam cut in.
“Wait, he’s the guy who was supposed to be watching the kid in the first place,
right? Isn’t he kind of the villain of the piece?”

          “Adam, I
spent every summer vacation growing up babysitting my little cousins. Let me
tell you, no one can watch kids every second. And it’s not like he was
neglecting them or anything, he couldn’t stop Alec. I was right there, I saw
the whole thing. The kid just darted out into traffic. I was closest. Plus,
Dean’s the one who pulled me back. I’d probably be dead if not for him.”

          “And if not
for you his nephew would be.”

          “Fair enough,
but the point is, I saved Alec. Dean saved me. Everyone just did the best they
could. But, anyway, that’s not really the important part of the story. So I
wake up, total memory loss. I’m a Jane Doe and there’s this terrifically
handsome, sweet, caring guy hanging around the hospital taking care of me,
bringing me movies, recommending books. Then, on Wednesday…” Jane cut off as
the El train arrived at the stop nearest her hotel.

          She was just
finishing her story as they arrived at the hotel. “What time is checkout?” Jane
asked, more than slightly frazzled.

          “11am,” said
the man behind the desk.

          “Okay, one
hour, we’ve got to move.”

          Jessie and
Adam burst into Jessie’s hotel room, vacant all but the first night of her
stay. Jessie took a quick shower while Adam helped organize her notes. One
notebook had been in the bag she lost in the accident, but all her Milton notes
were mercifully accounted for. As Jessie put her makeup on and packed, Adam
related his side of the story. Jessie laughed out loud at the thought of Cilla
and Richard seeing her and Dean at lunch. “I do not bite my thumb at him, but I
do bite my thumb, eh?” Adam grinned.

          At 10:50
Jessie was standing at checkout while Adam loaded the bags into her car. They
finally stopped for breath in the parking garage. Adam had parked next to
Jane’s green sedan.

          “You’ve
definitely missed the morning sessions, but you can certainly make it to the
lunch, and of course your big debut.” Adam said, handing her his copy of the
schedule.

          “I’ve got
this.” Jessie said.

          “Of course
you do. I’ll be there front and center. Now you go,” he said.

          “Adam, wait.
One more time, thank you so much. I… I don’t know that I would have gotten
everything back without you coming and rescuing me.”

          Adam hugged
her affectionately. “That’s what friends are for. Love you, Jess.”

          “You too,
Adam.”

          “Now go show
those boys how it’s done.”

          It was only a
short distance to the conference, but this time Jessie was uncharacteristically
happy to be driving in the thick of city traffic. After the lightning strike of
seeing Adam and the rush to get her things and get to the conference, the quiet
of her car seemed like a refuge.

          She tried to
steady herself against the trembling excitement in her mind. She knew. She knew
everything. She could see her parent’s house, her apartment in Ann Arbor, her
cramped little office. She knew why she was in Chicago. When she turned to see
her best friend calling her name, it wasn’t like she had remembered. No, it was
like she had known all along. Like when you try to think of someone’s name but
can’t, then forget about it. Hours later it will simply be there in your mind,
and you can’t believe you couldn’t think of it before. That was what it had
felt like. Everything was right there where it had always been. Her whole life,
just waiting for her.

          She even
remembered the accident. She remembered having seen a handsome if slightly
frazzled-looking man leading two of the cutest little boys to the bus stop. She
could see the younger one playing with his paddle toy, see the ball go flying
as the string snapped, see his eyes go wide at the approach of the truck. There
had been no decision. With reflexes honed by years of fencing, she had darted
out and thrown him back. Then there was Dean. She could remember those blue
eyes lit with fire as he grabbed her and pulled. She remembered waking up in
the hospital, meeting Dean for the first time. How could she possibly have been
so blank?

          Dean. Even
with so much competition now, he filled her mind. She thought of the note she’d
left and couldn’t help but grin. He had said once he thought she was some sort
of teacher; that he knew already not to argue literature with her. Well, he was
damn close. She was willing to give him partial credit on that one. The thought
of him at her panel filled her with joy. She wanted to see him smile at her
from the audience. He could meet Adam. Hell, he could even meet Richard if she
was feeling cruel. Jessie giggled to herself. That was another thing. She had
signed it J. He’d know it was her, but that would be another fun surprise.

          At least, she
hoped he would find this all a fun surprise. Not knowing where he was this
morning, Jessie had been in a terrible rush to get out and get moving. She
hoped the short note was enough, but a part of her wondered if this would be
too much surprise. She shrugged away the thought. Dean had shown nothing but
eagerness to help her back to who she really was. This was his chance to meet
the real her. She couldn’t wait.

***

          Dean wandered
around aimlessly for a while. At least he thought it was aimless, until he was
standing outside the building on Jane’s note. He realized only in retrospect he
had walked there by the most direct route possible. It was just after 10am. The
building wasn’t what he had expected. For starters, it was a university building,
one of those downtown campus buildings shared by DePaul and Roosevelt. Was Jane
a student? He’d figured she was somewhere in her twenties. Grad student maybe?
That would make a lot of sense. The building’s first floor windows displayed an
array of flyers for various university activities: a student production of
Into
the Woods
which had opened last week, a conference on John Milton this
weekend, a Model U.N. event next week. There was a flyer for a samurai movie
marathon sponsored by the film department. Dean went in and absently bought a
ticket for a 10:30 showing. He sat in the small, dark multiuse auditorium,
trying not to think.

          The show let
out at 12:25. The note had included a room number with the address, 305. Time
to see what he’d come to see. Dean took the stairs. Emerging onto the third
floor, he found himself surrounded not by students but by professor types. A
sign for the Milton conference hung from the ceiling. Beneath the sign, a table
held a stand with a map and schedule of events. Dean picked it up. The room on
Jane’s note was marked. Saturday, 12:45, Room 305. Sufficient to Have Stood:
Free Will of Man in
Paradise Lost
. Richard Pinkman, Washington
University in St. Louis; Gordon Pecos, Northwestern University; Jessie Brooke,
University of Michigan. What the hell? Dean thought.

Room
305 proved to be a large, theater-style classroom. At the front of the room a
table with four chairs faced a sea of tiered desks, mostly still empty. Dean
chose one near the back. Small groups of academics trickled in in twos and
threes sipping coffee and chatting, waiting for the panel to begin. At 12:45,
the panelists arrived. And there she was.

Jane,
his Jane, sat politely smiling behind the nameplate Jessie Brooke. She was
wearing the yellow dress he had bought her. Dean’s heart leapt. This was it!
She hadn’t abandoned him for some other guy this morning, she was here for a
conference. She must be, what, a professor or something attending a conference
in Chicago? She probably just left because she needed to get here. Dean wished
he was sitting closer to the front. He saw her scan the room, but couldn’t
catch her eye. At the front of the room, a bald man in a tweed jacket began
introducing the panel.

***

Jessie
arrived at the conference lunch full of confidence and enthusiasm. She made a
point of seeking Cilla Lemmon out. Cilla was concerned and confused after
talking to Adam again, but Jessie promised her one hell of a story after the
conference. Several colleagues commented on her absence from the earlier
events, but Jessie brushed the questions away gently, obliquely mentioning an
accident earlier in the week. The presence of a cast on her left arm proved an
excellent deterrent to further queries. 

She
even had a friendly smile for Richard Pinkman. He came up to her looking
daggers, but she greeted him warmly and made a point of saying how honored she
felt to be sharing a panel with him. When he mumbled something along the lines
of “same to you” and slinked off, Jessie wanted to laugh. She had been nervous
about seeing him? After all she had seen and done this week, Richard Pinkman
seemed beneath her notice. She thumbed through her notes one last time, and
hugged her copy of
Paradise Lost
for good luck.

Entering
the large, theater-style classroom, Jessie looked out on a sea of faces. Okay,
now there was a tiny twinge of nerves, but she fought it back. The room was
designed for large lectures, and had a capacity of probably one hundred
students. It was more full than empty. Jessie knew this panel was likely to be
particularly well-attended because it featured the keynote speaker of the
conference, but it still felt like Madison Square Garden to her. Taking her
place at the table, Jessie scanned for two faces in particular. Sure enough,
Adam was front and center, grinning at her. She gave him the smallest of
glances in thanks, then kept looking. The moderator was already introducing the
panel by the time she saw Dean. He was seated in the back, looking at the
moderator. He looked seriously impressed. At that moment Jessie could have
cartwheeled across the stage. She took a deep breath, swept the audience once
more with her eyes, and turned to the moderator.

***

          It took Dean
no more than maybe three minutes to realize he was in way, way over his head.
He was vaguely aware of
Paradise Lost
in a detached way: something about
Adam and Eve, the devil, God, that sort of thing. He was pretty sure there was
something in there about how it’s better to rule, even in hell, than to serve,
even in heaven. Dean thought that was a pretty bad plan, but he was also fairly
sure it’s the devil who says it. In any case, the discussion happening in front
of him might as well have been in Greek. He felt, well, a little stupid in
comparison. But he couldn’t take his eyes off Jane. Or, Jessie, apparently, he
thought. He had thought she was smart, but he’d been wrong. She was dazzlingly
brilliant.

          A great
acting coach had once told Dean that if an actor is doing his job well, he
should be able to deliver his lines in Hungarian and still have the audience
come away with a pretty good idea of what was happening. That was how Dean
felt. People asked about characters and scenes of which he was completely
ignorant, but he was nevertheless engrossed by the event. He loved watching
Jane’s (Jessie’s, Jessie’s, he told himself) performance. She listened
attentively and invitingly to the questions posed, and answered with the kind
of enthusiasm and confidence that encouraged debate but gently implied that was
a kindness. As if she knew not only that she was right, but that the only thing
necessary for you to know it as well was time. If she ever gets bored of
academia, Dean thought, she could be an actress. But the light he saw shining
in her eyes said she would never get bored. She was glowing. 

          The panel
lasted 50 minutes, with the moderator announcing a ten-minute break before the
next panels were set to begin. Several people came up to chat with the
panelists. Dean slipped out quietly to meet Jessie outside.

***

          Jessie held
onto her polite, professional demeanor while she answered a few last-minute
questions, but inside she was dancing. The panel had gone better than she could
have hoped. The questions were probing, but there were few surprises and
nothing she didn’t have a ready answer for. She had struck a perfect balance of
rapport with Gordon and the moderator, and the frosty air Richard had projected
had only made her look even more respectable. Adam waited for her to finish,
and they walked out together. As soon as they were out the door into the quiet
of the hallway, Adam swept her up into a bear hug that lifted her straight off
the ground and into a theatrical spin.

          “Jess you
were amazing!” he said excitedly. “Best. Panel. Ever!”

          Jessie was
grinning ear to ear as he set her down. “Thanks, Adam. I know this was not the
plan, but I’m so glad you were here. This has been one hell of a week.”