He's the One (5 page)

He grabbed her hand across the table, his face suddenly serious. ‘Ah, Liberty, as long as you’re there, any beach will do for me.’ She smiled as he kissed her hand, but inside she couldn’t help worrying that their
lives were so different. Would it pull them apart one day?

After dinner they walked hand-in-hand back to his flat. Brighton Pier was lit up and the lights were flashing on and off. It was kitsch and pretty and always reminded her of being twelve years old and going on the amusements with Em, after they had begged and borrowed the money from their parents, for spins on the dodgems and rides on the rollercoaster and then gorging themselves on doughnuts and feeling sick afterwards … but it had never stopped them from wanting to do it all over again the next time. Life had seemed so straightforward to Liberty then.

‘I love it here,’ Cory told her. ‘I either want to live by the sea or in the countryside; I have to have space. Back in San Francisco my parents’ house overlooks the Bay. When I wake up there the first thing I do every day is look at the sea. However crazy everything else is, that always calms me down.’

‘What do your parents do?’

He grimaced. ‘They’re both lawyers, and so is my brother, and my sister is a doctor so that’s as good as in their eyes. Dinnertimes were always about everyone arguing their point of view. It drove me crazy – all those egos competing with each other, each trying to be the centre of attention.’

‘So where do you get your artistic talent from?’

‘Not my parents, that’s for sure – they only appreciate art as an investment. They don’t care what’s hanging on their walls so long as it’s expensive and increases in value. My grandfather Henry – my dad’s dad – is the artistic one. I’d spend my summers hanging out with him – he lives in the hippy part of San Fran. He’d love to paint you. He loves a beautiful woman … or
beautiful women, I should say, which is why he split up from my grandmother and now lives with someone half his age. It’s the great scandal in our family.’ He turned to her, ‘So what about yours. You’ve only mentioned your mom.’

‘She’s all I have – I’m an only child. I have a dad, but he and Mum split up when I was young and I hardly see him now. He doesn’t really figure in my life.’

‘That’s sad.’

Liberty shrugged. ‘Not really, it’s just how it is. And my mum’s brilliant.’ Was this the moment she should tell him about Brooke?

‘But families fuck you up, don’t they? I can’t imagine going for the whole married thing, with two kids and a home loan and one vacation a year. It would feel like being trapped, closing off all your options. Or, worse, having kids and spending your whole time working, which is what my parents do. I really don’t get why they bothered to have us.’

‘Do you think you’ll ever want kids?’ It felt like torture to ask this, but she had to know.

‘Not sure. Maybe, but not for a long while. There’s so much else I want to do. So many places I want to see.’

What else could she expect of someone who was only twenty-one? Fortunately he didn’t ask her if she wanted children.

The discussion about families put a downer on the rest of the night for Liberty. Not even the fantastic sex that followed could entirely shift her feeling of sadness and the conviction that she and Cory belonged in different worlds. After they’d made love she wriggled out of his arms and slipped from the bed. It was past midnight.

‘Hey! You’re not going, are you?’

She looked at him. His body seemed even more tanned against the white duvet cover, and she wanted nothing more than for him to hold her all night, to feel him next to her. It was like a physical pain having to leave.

‘I have to get back. I have an early start, and I know I won’t sleep if I stay here.’ She reached for her clothes.

‘Are you seeing someone else, Liberty?’

The question blindsided her completely. She spun round to face Cory, midway through buttoning up her dress. ‘Of course not! Why would you think that?’

‘You never want to stay. You weren’t at work when you said you were. I can’t help thinking there’s something you’re hiding, and I can only imagine that there’s someone else.’

Now was surely the time for her to tell him about Brooke, but she just couldn’t, not like this. It would look like she had been ashamed of her own daughter.

‘I’m not seeing anyone else, I swear. You do believe me, don’t you?’

Cory didn’t answer. He remained in bed, staring at the ceiling, arms behind his head, looking thoroughly pissed off. When she let herself out of the flat he didn’t even say goodbye.

Liberty picked up the phone and keyed in Cory’s number, then hung up before it rang. It was the third time she had done this. He hadn’t called her. She had blown it, spoiled the one good thing to have happened to her in ages. She tried to tell herself that he would have left at the end of the summer anyway, off for another adventure in Australia. He would be on that white sand beach, just not with her. He would forget her long before she could ever forget him.

She was even more depressed the next day when Em showed her the latest edition of
OK!
and there was none other than Angel Summer on the front of it. Em and Liberty had been at school with her, and she had gone on to be an incredibly successful glamour model. True enough, she’d had her ups and downs; there had been a disastrous relationship with a boy-band singer, a spell in rehab, but now she was with the gorgeous Premiership footballer Cal Bailey, and it couldn’t hurt that he was filthy rich.

‘God, I miss Angel. She called a couple of weeks ago, and I knew she was doing well but I didn’t realise how well. What a glittering success her life is compared to mine. Mind you, anyone’s life is a glittering success compared to mine,’ Liberty said gloomily as the two girls grabbed a break outside in the back yard of the restaurant, next to the bins so Em could have a fag. The concrete was littered with cigarette ends, and the bins needed emptying.

Overhead the seagulls squawked noisily and Liberty narrowly missed being showered with bird shit. That really would have rounded off her day. She felt like shoving the magazine in with the rubbish. Much as she loved Angel, she didn’t want to look at her radiant face a second longer. The cover should carry a warning: looking at this picture will seriously damage your self-esteem.

‘Forget about Angel. Call Cory and tell him about Brooke,’ Em urged her. ‘You’ve got nothing to lose. If he doesn’t want to know then at least you can get out now.’

She handed Liberty her mobile, a chunky black Nokia that she was enormously proud of. Liberty couldn’t afford to get a phone on her wages. ‘Go on, you’ve got five more minutes.’ Em threw down her roll
up and ground it out under her heel before she went back inside the restaurant.

Liberty keyed in Cory’s number, but when it went to voicemail she yet again chickened out of leaving a message, and hung up.

It was late-afternoon when she finished work and still a beautiful day. Liberty changed into her shorts and bikini and picked up Brooke from the childminder she sometimes used, heading straight to her daughter’s favourite playground by the sea after that. She relished the feeling of the warm sun on her skin after being cooped up inside all day. She was determined to put Cory from her mind and enjoy this time with her daughter. So what if it was just the two of them? She was lucky to have Brooke. She splashed about with her daughter in the paddling pool, and tried to tell herself that it didn’t matter, that she was all Brooke needed, that they would be all right. But it was hard watching dads playing with their children, messing about with them in the water or carrying them on their shoulders. Not that for a second she wanted to be back with Luke. Better to be alone and struggling than trapped in an unhappy relationship.

By six o’clock Brooke was getting tired and Liberty settled her in her buggy for the walk home. She was annoyed with herself for feeling lonely as she strolled past the lively bars that lined the seafront. Loud music blasted out of them and people kicked back there after work with jugs of beer and Pimm’s, chatting and laughing. She had no plans for tonight; Em was going out with Noah and so wouldn’t be able to come over. Once Brooke was in bed it would be just Liberty and the remote control. Before she’d met Cory she’d never minded being on her own. Now she
craved the feeling of excitement she got only when she was with him.

A burst of laughter from one of the tables nearby attracted her attention and, looking over, she saw him. Cory was sitting at a table with a group of friends, including Zara. His blond hair caught the last rays of the sun, which turned it golden. He had never looked more handsome to Liberty, or more out of reach. Her heart started racing. Should she go and say hi? Or should she pretend she hadn’t seen him and carry on? It seemed crazy to be feeling so insecure when they had slept together, but the truth was she didn’t know where she stood with him or what he would think when he saw she had a daughter.

The decision was taken out of her hands when he glanced up and noticed her. Immediately he stood up and came over. She stood there awkwardly, clutching the handles of the buggy for reassurance. She was aware of what a mess she must look, her hair tangled by the sea breeze, her white vest splattered with the chocolate ice cream her daughter had spilled on her.

‘Hey, I thought you were going to call me?’

Just having him close again made her feel almost overwhelmed by the strength of her emotions. But he made no move to kiss her.

‘I know, I did try, but I kept getting your voicemail.’

‘Well, you could have left a message, that’s what those things are for.’ He was gazing at her, but then registered Brooke and quickly kneeled down. ‘And who’s this gorgeous girl? Hi, sweetie, what’s your name?’

Brooke was sucking her thumb and ignored him.

‘Well, isn’t she a sweet thing? She looks exactly like you.’ Zara had sauntered over to them. ‘Is she your baby sister?’ She gave Liberty a sly smile. Zara was once
again looking groomed and glossy in a white sundress that showed off her tan to perfection.

‘I didn’t know you had a sister, Liberty?’ Cory looked perplexed.

‘Oh, haven’t you got round to swapping stories about your families yet?’ Zara’s voice was smug. Liberty could tell immediately that she’d guessed this wasn’t her sister, and was taking great delight in making her feel uncomfortable.

‘No, I …’ Liberty began.

‘No,’ Zara wouldn’t let her continue, ‘I’m sure I’ve heard you say that you’re an only child. So that can only mean …’ She opened her eyes wide. ‘Oh, you must be one of those single mothers the government’s always talking about? How brave of you to have her so young. Don’t you think she’s brave, Cory? And so good of you too, darling, not to mind. You really are a sweetheart. Isn’t he, Liberty? There can’t be many men happy to have someone else’s child foisted on them.’

Zara gave Liberty a hard stare before turning to look at Cory. ‘Oh, dear, didn’t you know? What a surprise for you. I can’t imagine why Liberty wouldn’t trust you enough to tell you her little secret. I thought you two were so close?’ She turned back to Liberty with a triumphant smile on her face.

She felt anger rise in her. What a bitch Zara was! Well, Liberty wasn’t going to be made to feel ashamed of having had a child so young. She needed to come clean, she had nothing to feel ashamed of, although the expression of shock on Cory’s face almost made her lose her nerve. But then she straightened her shoulders and looked him squarely in the face.

‘Zara’s right. Brooke is my daughter. How clever of her to guess.’ She was looking only at Cory as she
spoke, though, trying to show with her eyes that she was sorry she hadn’t told him.

Cory either didn’t notice her look or chose to ignore it. He seemed lost for words. ‘I … um … I mean … Jesus, Liberty, why didn’t you tell me?’ The words burst from him angrily.

She was silent for a moment, not sure what to say. But when he just stared at Brooke with an expression of total shock on his face, her patience snapped. Bastard!

‘Because I’m used to insensitive, immature little fuckers like you running a mile when they find out,’ she said venomously. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I was going to and I had hoped you’d be different from all the others, but I can see you’re not. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Brooke home. See you around, Cory. Hopefully I won’t see you, Zara.’

Head held high, Liberty marched off, anxious to get away from them. She could just imagine them staring after her, judging her to be some feckless single mother who only had herself to blame. She could feel tears of humiliation and anger stinging her eyes: anger with herself for caring so much, and anger with Cory and Zara too. Fuck them. Rich, spoiled, over-privileged twats, what did they know about life?

It was only when she was giving Brooke her bath later on that she calmed down. She watched her daughter play happily with her toy whale, taking great delight in squirting Liberty with water. She would never for a second regret having Brooke. She loved her with a fierce, proud determination; she would do anything for her. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought. Her daughter was all that mattered.

The doorbell rang when Liberty had finally flopped on to the living-room sofa, too exhausted to make herself
anything to eat. She wasn’t expecting anyone; it was bound to be someone trying to sell something. She ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would go away. But the bell rang again. Wearily she hauled herself up. She swung open the front door with her ‘don’t bother me’ face on, only to be confronted by Cory.

‘What are
you
doing here?’ she muttered, still smarting from their earlier encounter. ‘Shouldn’t you be drinking Pimm’s with all your ra-ra friends? Planning your next round-the-world trip?’ She knew she sounded bitter, but she couldn’t help it. She felt vulnerable and raw.

‘I got your address from Em. I had to see you. Can I come in?’ he said.

When she didn’t reply, he tried again. ‘I know I must have seemed shocked when I saw you with Brooke, but it took me by surprise. I had no idea you had a daughter. But I swear, it makes no difference to how I feel about you.’