HH02 - A Reclusive Heart (10 page)

records for Rerum Publishing House and Nick couldn't be happier. He knew this woman was the key to his success and so far

she'd proved him right.

A week ago several of her books managed to make it to number one on all the important book lists and even some that

weren't. It seemed as though everyone had J.L. Lewis fever and he knew that it was only going to get better. There was already

talk from networks about making several of her books into television series and a few major boys in Hollywood were hinting

at a movie deal. That would mean more exposure and even higher sales and Nick couldn't wait.

It wasn't necessarily his job to influence the little recluse on what she should do, but he'd talk her into whatever deal best

benefitted him. The more exposure she had the better he would make out in the deal. Hell, he was already toying with a

European tour after this. For most authors he'd force himself to step back even though everything in him screamed to move his

ass, but this was Jamie he was talking about here.

She had no life or real friends to rush back to so he knew it wouldn't take much to convince her to keep going. Tours

normally could become tiresome and stressful for authors, but he knew that Jamie actually enjoyed traveling, sleeping in

different hotels and trying new things. Even when she was exhausted and they had to travel late at night she still had a smile on

her face.

He'd be able to keep her happy. As long as they had the list he owned her happiness. They'd been doing this for two

weeks and he knew she was addicted to that damn list. She loved trying new things and with him there she seemed relaxed and

able to go through with her little list. The two times he had to put off the list she'd tried to do things on her own only to end up

stressed and intimidated. That of course pleased him because it meant that he hadn't outlived his usefulness. She needed him for

this list and he needed her for this tour and possibly a European tour immediately afterwards. It really depended on what Rick

could come up with.

"Do you want to head back to the hotel?" he asked when he noticed the setting sun.

"No!" she said, sounding close to pouting, which actually pleased him.

He loved riding and wasn't ready to call it a night either. This was one of his favorite things in the world to do. Normally

he didn't involve women in this activity because they bitched a lot, but surprisingly he didn't mind bringing his little recluse

with him. She loved this and couldn't seem to be able to get enough. The only other woman that he'd enjoyed this with was

Dana Pierce, except in her case she'd been on her own bike while trying to kick his ass racing.

They hadn't ridden together in five years and he missed it. He missed spending the time with his friend, but she was

married now and had a busy life. He understood that she had other things holding her attention these days, but he still missed

that time with her. They still spent time together, but it wasn't the same.

Before Dana he'd never spent time with a woman just to spend time with her. She made it easy to be with her and relax,

somewhat. He'd never really been able to let his guard down with her and just enjoy her company, but it had been close. Oddly

enough he was able to do that with Jamie. It probably had something to do with the fact that they both knew what they wanted

from this agreement. There were secret agendas and he didn't have to work his ass off to flirt with her to get something out of

her. He had the list and knew exactly what she needed.

For the first time since Dana, sex didn't matter with a woman. Well, that wasn't completely true. Much to his horror he

was attracted to the little recluse. It was hard not to be. She was a cute little sexy thing with an infectious laugh and a genuine

smile that pleased him. She never pretended around him and didn't play some of the drama bullshit games that other women

played. She was real, wholesome, and it didn't hurt that he could now tell that she had a killer body. That was just a bonus.

Nothing would ever come of his attraction to her. She was his client and technically his employee. Besides, he had a two

fuck limit and she wouldn't understand. Jamie had relationship written all over her and wouldn't understand that with him there

would only ever be two nights. Sleeping with her, no correction, fucking her, because he never slept with a woman, would

make continuing this tour impossible and sure as hell would make a European tour out of the question.

Sex would screw this agreement up real quick and when she realized that she couldn't have him she'd be on the phone with

Rick, demanding that he send someone else to take over Nick's job. There was no way in hell he was risking losing J.L. Lewis

for sex. If his attraction for her became a problem he'd find a willing woman to slate his lust and forget about it since one

woman was just as good as another.

*******

legged to her hotel room's bathroom, but with a smile. That had been a lot of fun, a lot more fun than she ever thought possible.

She already decided that when this tour was finished she was going to buy a bike and get her license. She briefly thought about

asking Nick to go with her to pick it out, but then remembered that the agreement would be over and she'd be on her own. That

thought scared her, but not enough to back down. This was something she wanted to do and thanks to Nick she knew how much

fun it could be and wasn't going to allow herself get scared off.

Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and finding new interests. Having him accompanying her made her feel relaxed

and safe. With him around she didn't stand out. Well, she kind of did, but that was only because she was with an incredibly

handsome man. She'd take that rather than stand out because she was the lone loser shifting nervously while trying to appear not

to be alone any day of the week.

Having people look at her with open pity wasn't exactly her idea of fun. She hated the looks people sent her when she

went out to eat by herself, a movie, the mall. Then again she had stood out thanks to the way she dressed. When she dressed in

plain oversized clothing she'd hoped to blend into the background, but now she realized that actually made her stand out more.

With her hair shortened and her new clothes she actually blended in a lot better, but she still wasn't comfortable doing most of

the things on her list on her own.

She was deathly afraid that she'd embarrass herself or screw something up. It made it a lot easier to try new things with

Nick. She'd never met anyone more comfortable in his own skin and she never had to worry about being too nervous to try

something when he was around. It also didn't hurt that he'd done a lot of things that she wanted to try so it was just a matter of

him showing her how to do something. With Nick around it was like having her own personal tutor on life, a tutor that was also

a slave driver.

From the moment she woke up until the moment he declared that she had free time he worked her to the bone. If they

weren't going over possible interview questions, the proper way to give an interview, what not to say, working on her books,

or editing someone else's book they were traveling. It was a grueling schedule and if she didn't have the List to look forward to

she'd probably be begging for him to slow down.

But there was no way she was going to give up the List. Thanks to Nick she was trying new things and loving it. She was

starting to feel more comfortable and eager to try new things.......other things that he wouldn't be able to help her with. There

was another aspect of her life that she' always ignored, well, not so much as ignored as never finding anyone interested. Now

that she was discovering a whole new Jamie she decided it was time to give the other part of her life that she'd sorely

neglected over the years a try.

She was going to have a sex life.

A really good sex life, she decided. She'd do all the things she'd only imagined and she'd do them with whomever she

wanted. The old her was gone and so were her prudish or rather virginal ways. She was twenty-five years old and ready to

pop her cherry. She was too old to be a virgin and definitely too old never to have been kissed. Okay, so she had been kissed

in eight grade by Gerald Logan, but that shouldn't count because he'd kissed her on the cheek and only because someone dared

him to do it.

Now she was more confident and eager to give it a try. There were so many things in that genre that she wanted to attempt,

but was too nervous to try, but now all that was behind her. She was the new Jamie. Granted this new Jamie required a little bit

of help, but that was neither here nor there. If she wanted to have sex then she was going to have it, lots of it. She did sort of,

kind of wish she could ask Nick for a few suggestions, but she didn't want him to know about this or think that she was asking

him to step up and take one for the team.

The very last thing she wanted was for a guy to have sex or touch her because of an obligation. She wanted a man to want

her, need her even if it was just for a night. Nick would probably think that she expected him to handle her needs as if they

were a part of the list and she didn't. She knew the man would never touch her and didn't want her, which was fine because she

wasn't delusional.

Nick flirted with absolutely every woman. He sweet talked them, charmed them and made them all want him, except for

her of course. With her he didn't bother flirting with her or sweet talking her into doing something. No, for her he used

intimidation and the List. As long as even part of her was still a pushover and that List existed then he wouldn't need to waste

energy trying to sweet talk her. Besides, her heart didn't need the confusion.

It was bad enough that she'd developed a bit of a crush on the man. She didn't need him to confuse her by flirting with her

and making her think that he was interested when her mind knew that he wasn't. She appreciate that they had boundaries. It

made this a heck of a lot easier. He was her boss and List buddy and that was all.

She took a quick shower before dressing in a pair of soft green flannel pajama pants and a pink baby t-shirt and rushing to

the desk in her room only to remember that Nick had the computer. Worrying her bottom lip she tried to decide if this was

something that could wait until tomorrow. After a minute she realized that it couldn't. If she didn't make this new list then she'd

be up all night tossing and turning as the possibilities ran through her head.

Decision made, she grabbed her key card and walked out of her room and across the small hallway to Nick's door. She

knocked on the door and was about to knock on it again ten seconds later when he still hadn't opened the door when it was

suddenly opened and she found herself stumbling forward. As her face plastered against warm damp skin it occurred to her that

Nick might not be dressed.

Taking a fortifying breath, she stepped back, averting her eyes of course as her cheeks burned and mumbled, "Can I use

the computer?"

Nick sighed heavily as he walked over to his desk and picked up the laptop bag. When he turned around she allowed her

eyes exactly ten seconds to look over one of the best bodies that she'd ever seen before quickly looking away. The man was

large and ripped and that really didn't help with the blushing.

"Make sure you get some sleep. We're catching a train at eight," he said as he handed her the bag.

"I'll be ready," she promised, taking the bag as she let her eyes quickly shoot to his bare chest and boxer clad body one

last time before looking away and rushing back to her room.

Seeing a man in nothing but his underwear should be no big deal at her age, but sadly it was. It just went to prove her that

she desperately needed sex. Having sex would make her feel normal and less shy around men, she decided as she sat on the

bed, crossing her legs as the computer powered up. She opened her file and was just about to add to her list when she realized

just how stupid that was.

She created a new file and named it, "Grammatical Errors," figuring that Nick wouldn't bother looking at that file. After

creating a new word document and typing the title, "Sex List," she stared blankly at the screen for several minutes.

Where should she start? she wondered. After a few minutes she figured that she should start with the basics. There really

was no need to rush into sex. There were plenty of stopping points along the way to help ease her into this.

Sex List
:

Buy condoms

Learn to flirt (Probably best to learn by watching Nick)

Buy books about sex and positions

Watch a porn (nothing weird and take notes)

Kiss a man. (Best bet to find a man to kiss is at a bar or club)

Buy sexy lingerie, nothing flannel

Have sex, lots and lots of sex.

Visit a sex store and get the basics (Make sure to ask the clerk what the basics are.)

Learn how to give oral sex (men seem to like that for some reason)