Hickory Smoked Homicide (17 page)

“We nearly had a disaster of momentous proportions while you were backstage,” said Colleen. “Imagine if you had gone out in this nasty weather to the middle of nowhere and the girls had gotten all dressed up and excited and there wasn’t a pageant! One of our judges fell suddenly ill and called to say she couldn’t make it. Now, ordinarily, that would mean we’d have to cancel the event unless we could scrounge up some last-minute judge from the town. But your friend Gordon, God bless him, was happy to step in.”

“Gordon? Gordon knows how to judge a beauty contest?”

“Well, no, of course he doesn’t. But he’s getting a crash course right now in it. Another emergency diverted. By the skin of my teeth.” She frowned a minute and looked at Lulu as if trying to gauge if she might be upset that her friend had been drafted into service. “By the way, he’s happy as a clam right now. Once he’d saved the day, all the moms were stuffing plates of food into his hand—probably trying to butter him up. So he’s eating Sharon’s chili and Cindy’s pineapple and pork chops—and there’s someone’s chicken soup that he’s raving about. He sure seems like a nice guy.” She hesitated. “Are y’all . . . seeing each other?”

“Not a bit. I’m just showing him around Memphis, since he’s new to town.” She was a little worried about the chicken soup, though. That was supposed to be Lulu’s and Coco’s lunch. She hoped he wasn’t cleaning out the Crock-Pot because all this investigating was getting Lulu hungry.

Colleen was still jittery and glancing nervously at the stage area, where they were messing with lighting and the sound system. “Don’t you want to go back there?” asked Lulu. “Just to check and see how everything is going?”

“Honey, I’d love to, but Pansy has practically banned me from going backstage lately. Says that I act too much like a stage mom. Ha! I’m not nearly as bad as some of these moms,” she said, leaning in real close to Lulu. “They’d walk right out there on stage with their girls if they could. You look in their purses, and all you’ll see are extra sets of fake eyelashes and padding and tape. All they
think
about is their girls. I’m not quite that bad, but I make Pansy nervous, she says, so I’m trying to stay busy out here.”

She sure didn’t look busy to Lulu, but at least she wasn’t running backstage.

“How did Pansy seem?” she asked Lulu anxiously. “Did she act like she had bad nerves?”

“Not at all,” said Lulu. “In fact, she was doing a great job helping Coco get ready on top of getting herself ready. And she was even telling me all kinds of entertaining stories about pageant life.”

Colleen gave a nervous laugh. “Oh, there’s always a bunch of stories. I already told you what was going on with Pansy and Tristan, and that’s just part of it.”

“She also told me to ask you about Loren and Pepper. I didn’t even know that y’all would know them at all.... I know Pepper a little bit through Cherry.”

“Oh, Cherry knows them?” Colleen rolled her eyes.

“Cherry is their neighbor,” said Lulu. “She and Pepper were trying to get into the Memphis Women’s League—but apparently Tristan had blocked them from being able to join.”

Colleen snorted. “Probably because Tristan thought they weren’t good enough to join her club. I’ll have to ask Cherry what she thinks about Pepper and Loren, especially living next door to them. Because the impression that I got is that they’re totally crazy. Well, I shouldn’t say that—I don’t know Pepper. But if she knows about the running around he’s doing on her and she’s
staying
with him, then she’s crazy, too.”

“I’m gathering that Loren and Tristan were an item?” asked Lulu.

“Or something.” Colleen gave a shrill laugh. “All I know is that one day Loren showed up for a pageant and tried talking to Tristan. She totally blew him off, and he left, completely dejected.”

“You knew that they were having a romantic relationship? It wasn’t just business somehow? I’ve heard his accounting firm handled the books at her company.”

Colleen said, “It was hard to tell what was going on that first time, although everybody here was talking about it and trying to figure it all out. But he came
back
to the next pageant. And that time I could overhear what he was saying. He was complaining because she wasn’t taking his calls or coming to her door when he rang her doorbell.”

Lulu shook her head. “Mercy! And what did Tristan say to him?”

Colleen looked gratified to have such a rapt audience and warmed to her topic. “Lulu, she was an ice queen. Really, she didn’t even answer him. Didn’t even acknowledge that he was there at all! She just walked away.”

Lulu felt a little disappointed that there hadn’t been any more drama than that, and Colleen hurried to add, “But then he came back
again
. And that time he cried. It seemed like it made an impression on Tristan—because even though she was still trying to ignore him, I saw them later making up in the parking lot. In Tristan’s car.”

Lulu blinked. “Oh my.”

“But then I guess she went right back to not taking his calls and ignoring him. So he came by another time and read some really bad poetry to Tristan—all the girls were laughing. It really was ghastly.” Lulu noticed that Colleen couldn’t hide a smirk, though. “So
this
time Tristan pulled him a little ways away from everybody to really let him have it.”

“Too bad she pulled him away from everybody,” said Lulu sadly.

“Oh, honey, I couldn’t
help
but overhear,” said Colleen in a triumphant voice. “Tristan said she was sick of him showing up at pageants, and she thought she was becoming the butt of a lot of jokes. And she threatened to tell his wife about the two of them! I thought that was really a stroke of genius on her part. Of course, he said that Tristan didn’t even know his wife, and she said she
did
—because Pepper was dying to join Tristan’s club. So then he said he
still
didn’t care. He didn’t even care if Pepper knew or not—all he cared about was being with Tristan. Which is crazy right there, because nobody even
likes
Tristan! He got even crazier when he said that he was going to kill himself or even both of them if she didn’t take him back.”

Lulu drew a quick breath. “What did she say to that?”

“Tristan was as cold as ever. She said he was free to kill himself if that’s what he wanted to do, although she figured he was being melodramatic. She was all scornful and said that
she
wasn’t going to be a victim, but he could victimize himself if he wanted to. So maybe he did kill her. Or maybe Pepper killed Tristan, for revenge. Although why she’d want that cheating husband is beyond me.” Colleen rolled her eyes.

“So it might have just been this love-triangle murder,” said Lulu thoughtfully.

“Do we even really care who killed her?” asked Colleen. “Honestly, the world is a much better place without Tristan Pembroke in it. At least poor Steffi isn’t undergoing daily persecution from her mother anymore. I mean, Steffi was a huge disappointment to her mom, and Tristan sure let her know it.”

Lulu felt another wave of sympathy for Steffi. “Not that she could help it, poor thing.”

“But she
could
help who she hung out with. When she started dating their yardman, I thought Tristan was going to go through the roof! I mean, if Tristan was going to be picky about Pepper getting into her women’s club, what was she going to think about her daughter dating the yard guy?”

Lulu had a feeling Tristan wouldn’t have thought much of the idea. Maybe that’s what the final argument was about—the one that resulted in Steffi moving out.

 

 

Coco, thought Lulu, was cute as a bug during the competition and had even placed and gotten a sash. Pansy, on the other hand, had definitely had an off day. Tina was making all kinds of profane grumblings from next to Lulu as Pansy came out on stage. And she certainly
had
acted like a crown was already on her head—but she kept her head so high that she tripped over her own gown and caught herself right before she hit the floor.

She made the unfortunate choice of a leopard-print dress (“I didn’t even know that horrid thing was in her hanging bag!” said Tina), and when the pageant director conducted Pansy’s interview, Pansy’s portion was full of perplexed looks, mumbles, and uhs.

As the division winner smiled through her tears, Lulu wondered if maybe Pansy
had
sabotaged her own dress. Because, as little as Lulu knew about pageants, Pansy sure didn’t seem like much of a contender.

Chapter 14

The next day, Lulu was in the Aunt Pat’s back office when Sara stuck her head in the door. “Guess who’s here again?”

“Who?” asked Lulu.

“Loren Holman. I have a feeling he’s looking for me or Steffi about that portrait again. And I can’t even look at him the same way again after all you told me about him yesterday when you dropped Coco back home.”

Lulu sighed. “Well, I think he’s a very sad, sad man. If you think about it, it’s a tragedy. He finally found true love—with someone who didn’t love him back. To make matters worse, now he can’t even worship her from afar.
And
she had a violent death, which makes it even harder for him to have any kind of closure. No, he shouldn’t have been cheating on his wife. And he shouldn’t have been practically stalking Tristan. And he really went off his rocker when he threatened to kill Tristan and himself. But still—there’s something kind of pitiful about him.”

“Do you think he could have gone through with his threat and murdered Tristan?”

Lulu tilted her head to think about it. “I don’t know. I guess, in his state of mind, he could have done it—but he sure seems to regret it now, if that’s what happened.”

Sara leaned back out of the office to check the restaurant. “He’s just standing there. I guess I’m going to have to go out and talk to him. Want to come along? I can’t handle any melodrama today.”

“Sure, honey, I’ll join you. Maybe he’ll want to talk to Steffi, too. She came to work thirty minutes ago, if you want to grab her. Let’s have him sit in a booth with us. I really don’t want him making a scene standing in the middle of the restaurant.”

As expected, Loren was in a state. He had beads of perspiration on his forehead as he asked Sara, “Has the portrait turned up? The one of Tristan?”

As if he’d be interested in any other portrait, thought Lulu.

Sara said, “Loren, I’m sorry, but I don’t have any clue where that painting is. Steffi, has it turned up at all in your mom’s house?”

Steffi shook her head. “No, I haven’t seen it. I looked for it before I went through some of Mother’s things. But I couldn’t find it anywhere. I’m thinking that it’s not at the house at all.”

“How could it have left the house?” asked Lulu. “It was a big painting. Seems like someone would have seen someone leaving with it.”

Sara said, “But if you think about it, lots of people were leaving with big paintings. After the auction, some of the folks went ahead and put the paintings in their car and went back to the party. Some of them ended up having to collect theirs later on, but there were still plenty of people who took their paintings out early.”

Loren rubbed his palms across his red eyes. Lulu didn’t think she’d seen anybody look so tired or dejected.

Steffi said quickly, “Loren, maybe Marlowe has seen the portrait—she’s taken the day off from work to help with Mother’s things. We could call and ask her.”

Loren gave her a grateful look and then wiped a hand across his face again. “Y’all must think that I’m totally nuts. Who knows—maybe I am. My whole life is falling apart around me. Pepper has kicked me out of the house because I can’t put Tristan out of my mind . . . even though she’s dead.” His voice was so quiet that they had to lean forward to hear him.

“Where are you staying now?” asked Lulu with concern.

“I’m staying at a hotel for a little while until I can find a place.” He sat still for a moment. “I can’t blame Pepper. She’s got to be hurting pretty bad right now. But I just can’t seem to help myself.” His voice cracked on the last words.

Steffi leaned forward and impulsively squeezed his hand. “Why don’t you come over and have supper tonight with Marlowe and me? Then you can ask her about the portrait. And, if that’s missing, I’m sure we’ve got a couple of photographs of Mother that you’re welcome to take home with you.”

Loren’s face brightened. “Steffi, I’d love to come. What time should I be there?”

“Well, I’m leaving Aunt Pat’s around six o’clock, since I’m only working a half day. So maybe six thirty? I know Marlowe is going to be starving after spending the day working in Mother’s house. And Lulu, why don’t you come, too?” Steffi offered. “I never really got a chance to thank you for putting me up for a few days and for giving me the time off I needed.”

“Only if I can bring some food,” said Lulu. “Because no thank-yous are necessary—you’re my friend. But if I can bring supper, I’m happy to come. And I’ve got all the ingredients for a chicken pot pie right here at the restaurant.” Steffi looked like she was going to demur, and Lulu said, “Otherwise you’re going to have to cook as soon as you get home, or else Marlowe is going to have to. And I’m right here with an industrial kitchen at my disposal.”

“And Lulu cooks really well,” said Loren, looking at Steffi persuasively.

“In that case,” said Steffi with a shrug, “how can I refuse?”

Lulu knew that Marlowe and Steffi still had a ton of Dolly-approved casseroles in their freezer, from after the funeral. But there was nothing quite like a freshly baked chicken pot pie.

 

 

Loren appeared to have made an attempt to look a little bit nicer. He looked showered and better dressed than he’d been earlier at Aunt Pat’s. Best of all was that he didn’t look like he’d been crying or was about to cry.

At least, he didn’t until Marlowe walked in the door from having spent the day at Tristan’s. Lulu hadn’t thought until that moment how much the sisters had looked alike. And Loren obviously hadn’t thought of it either—his face looked blank with shock when he saw Marlowe, then he clearly struggled to keep from tearing up again. Lulu guessed that when he’d seen Marlowe briefly at Tristan’s funeral, his eyes had been too full of tears to see Marlowe all that clearly.