Read Hidden Online

Authors: Derick Parsons,John Amy

Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Thrillers

Hidden (47 page)

BOOK: Hidden
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After another, perceptible hesitation the girl nodded and Kate smiled
all the wider, ‘Good.’

She took a deep breath, trying to control her mounting excitement
and reining back the million questions crowding into her mind; this was the most approachable she had ever seen her patient and she didn’t want to blow it through being over-zealous. ‘The story your father was reading to you, is it one of your favourites?’

Grainne lowered her great green eyes, ‘I don’t know.’

‘Weren’t you listening?’

A pause, then, ‘Not really.’

‘Were you thinking about something else?’

The girl just shrugged, and after a moment Kate said carefully, ‘Do you remember the fire last night?
  Do you want to talk about it?’

The girl froze but then said,
through numb lips, ‘I was asleep.  I woke up and smelled smoke.  I was scared and tried to get out of my room but the door was locked.  I don’t remember what happened after that.  When I woke up I was being given oxygen by firemen.  Then I was brought to this room and put to bed.  But I couldn’t sleep for a long time, even though the doctor gave me an injection.’

Kate nodded, ‘When the fire started you must have fainted.  How scared were you before you passed out?  Did you panic?  Scream?  Bang on the door?’

Another hesitation as the girl bit her full, red lower lip, then, ‘I’m not sure.  I think I screamed but I don’t remember banging on the door.  I just remember being scared and then...nothing.’


Why were you so scared?’

The girl shrugged her slender shoulders and made no reply.

Kate hesitated, ‘Was it because you were reminded of...the other fire?’

Grainne went very still and a set, tense expression appeared on her face.  At last she said, through gritted teeth, ‘I... DON’T... REMEMBER.’

Kate wasn’t sure whether or not to believe her and she was reluctant to push too hard, particularly as the girl was clearly trying to keep her promise to be truthful.  But on the other hand she couldn’t let fear stop her regress so after a pause she said softly, ‘Can you talk about the
other
fire, Grainne?’

No answer, but Kate was encouraged by the fact that her patient had not retreated into one of her fantasies, nor a fugue-like state; by her fixed, scared expression the girl was
still very much
there. 
Kate reached across and gently clasped her cold hand, ‘I know it’s difficult, and painful, but if you are to get well again you
must
remember.  I know you don’t want to, but you need to talk about it, Grainne.’

The girl shuddered and reached down to rub nervously at her right calf, rubbing
hard,
over and over again in a disturbingly compulsive manner that must have hurt.  Kate frowned in confusion;
what was that about?

Grainne blinked rapidly, again and again, before saying, ‘Please, I can’t remember!’

In her gentlest voice Kate said, ‘Listen to me, Grainne, your memories can’t hurt you.  All the bad things that happened to you are in the
past
.  You can remember them without fear because they no longer have any power over you.  There may be pain but remember this; no matter what you’ve done in the past I’m on your side.  Do you believe me?  No matter what, I’m your friend and I will help you.’

Grainne shook her head, tears spilling down her face, ‘No, no, no! 
No! 
Why won’t they let me have my cigarettes?  Why won’t they give me back my lighter?  I didn’t start the fire!  I didn’t start the fire. 
I DIDN’T START THE FUCKING FIRE!

Kate tightened her grip on the girl’s hand, ‘I believe you
, Grainne, I believe you!  Calm down, everything is going to be all right.  I’ll arrange for you to get your cigarettes back.’

Grainne was suddenly silent, and her hand gripped Kate’s fiercely and her suddenly blazing eyes locked on Kate’s as she said, ‘You promise?  You
promise?’

‘Yes,’ said Kate evenly, ‘I promise.’

Grainne let go of Kate’s hand and slumped back on the bed, her eyes closing.  Kate stared at her in puzzlement; exactly what had she just promised?  It certainly wasn’t about cigarettes.  In fact it felt as if she had just entered a sacred covenant, had made a pact with the girl.  But to what end?  Was it just a promise to believe and trust her?  To protect her?  To be her friend no matter what secrets lay in her past, as she had already promised?

Kate sighed and sat back in her own chair; it really didn’t matter.  If it helped to gain Grainne’s trust -and thus confidences- she would gladly make any promise the girl required.  Making her well again was the important thing
.  By any methods necessary.

‘I didn’t light the fire,’ said Grainne suddenly, making Kate jump; she had not expected the girl to speak again.  She had thought her gone for the day, lost once more in her own private world.  Still talking in a small, tea
rful voice Grainne said broken-heartedly, ‘I didn’t light the fire but I did kill my mother.  It was my fault, that’s why Ruddles bit me like that.’

Instantly alert once more, Kate took her hand again and, acting on intuition, asked, ‘Where did Ruddles bite you?’

The girl vaguely waved her hand at the calf she had earlier rubbed, ‘On the leg.’

Kate badly wanted to ask
why
the dog had bitten her but knew she would not get the truth, and might get no answer at all if Grainne took flight again.  Taking a deep breath, she said instead, ‘You did not light the fire last night?’

Grainne shook her head, her eyes tightly shut and her face screwed up as if in pain.  Slowly, gradually, she drew her legs up beneath herself until she was almost in the foetal position, curled into a ball with her pale golden arms wrapped around her slender shins.

‘Did you light the fire in your house the night your mother died?’

‘No.’

Kate’s heart stopped for a moment and she had to fight to catch her breath. ‘But you
did
kill your mother?’

A tearful nod, ‘It was my fault, it was all my fault.’

‘How
was it your fault?’

The question
hung in the air like a bomb waiting to explode, but the girl made no answer.  Her mouth worked once or twice but nothing emerged and suddenly she dissolved into tears.  Kate put her arms around her and held her tightly, murmuring over and over, ‘It’s alright, it’s alright.’

For a long time they sat in that position, until the girl’s tears subsided into silence.  Kate stayed with her long after the tears had stopped, and long after she knew that the girl would not speak to her any further.  Not
that day.  But soon.  Soon the weight of grief and guilt would prove too great and Grainne would begin to talk.  About
everything.
  And that was when her mind would either shatter forever or true healing would begin.

At last Kate released her, saying softly, ‘I have to go now.  But I will come back to
morrow.  And every second day after that until you’re ready to talk.  Every
day
, if you like.  I’ll be here to listen to you.  But not to judge.  Never that.’

Grainne made no reply, her wet eyes still tightly shut, and Kate stood up and quietly left the room.  She made her way back down to the foyer, her whole body tingling with adrenaline.  The progress Grainne was making -with no help from
her
at
all
- was astonishing, even factoring in all the groundwork Sarah McGrath had done.  In fact Kate thought the crisis point would be reached as early as the next couple of weeks, the point where her struggle for sanity would be won or lost.

Michael Riordan was sitting in the
row of guest seats beside the reception desk in the foyer, reading the
Irish Times
and clearly waiting for her.  As soon as he saw her he dropped the paper and got to his feet.  He swiftly approached her, saying, ‘Is she okay?’

Kate nodded without replying, the high of watching Grainne’s re-emergence into the world fading, being replaced with weariness.

Michael touched her arm, ‘Are you all right?’

Kate smiled perfunctionarily, thinking that he looked even more tired and strained than she did.  Which was saying quite a lot. 
God, who would ever want to be a parent?
  The pain, the suffering, the worry; they never stopped, not even when the child became an adult.  Only death ended the voluntary servitude.  ‘Yes, I’m fine.  And Grainne’s going to be fine too.  In time.’

He smiled back, some of the new lines on his face fading, ‘The great healer, eh?’

Kate fluttered her eyelids and smiled coyly, ‘Why, thank you, I suppose I am!’

He threw his head back and laughed loudly and unashamedly, exposing his gleaming white teeth, ‘I meant
time
was the great healer and you know it.’

Kate laughed too, though quietly and with a lot more reserve, ‘Well, me and tim
e will do the trick between us, I hope.  Certainly Grainne is making amazing progress.’

He stopped smiling and looked at her serious
ly, his face intent and his pale eyes very sharp, ‘Have dinner with me tonight.  Please.’

Kate shook
her head, though with a degree of reluctance; although at times she felt she couldn’t stand him he was certainly hard to say no to.  ‘I can’t.’

His face darkened, ‘The ex is no longer ex, is that it?’

Kate sighed, ‘He’s more
ex
than ever. I told him about... well, us.’

‘He took it badly?’ he said matte
r-of-factly, hiding any satisfaction he might have felt.

‘No,’ said Kate bitterly, ‘he was over the moon.  What do you think?’

‘So have dinner with me.’

She shook her head in amazement, ‘You just don’t know how to give up, do you?’

He grinned suddenly, and the years fell away from his face, ‘Why do you think I’m so successful?  Because I
never
give up!’

‘Well, I couldn’t even if I wanted to.  I have to work.’

‘More night classes?’

Kate shuddered
involuntarily, ‘
No
.  But I want to do some research in the library at Trinity, to look up cases similar to Grainne’s and see what treatment was most effective.  I’m rustier than I care to admit but a little bookwork should put that right.  Or rather, computer work, since there’s more information on the net these days than in any library.’

He frowned, ‘Surely any computer would do?  Why do you need to go to Trinity?
  And at night at that.  After what happened?’

She made a rueful face
, ‘My computer was stolen, remember?  And things have been so hectic since that I haven’t got round to buying a new one.’

His expression cleared and he grinned again, ‘Well, th
at solves everything!  Because although I’m computer illiterate myself there’s one in my flat.  So we can kill two birds with one stone.  First dinner, then you can do all the research you want!’

Kate looked at him dubiously, a glimmer of suspicion in her eyes, and he instantly held up
his hands and said seriously, ‘This is a genuine offer, with no strings attached.  And there’ll be no attempt at seduction.  You call all the shots.  And I mean
all.
  Things happened so quickly between us initially that last time I made certain presumptions.  I won’t make that mistake again.  I won’t even give you a goodnight kiss on the cheek unless specifically requested to do so.  In writing.’

Kate hesitated, very much tempted.  Being alone in Trinity at night was the last thing she wanted after what had happe
ned last time, and she could hardly ask Peter to accompany her there.  He would do it, she had no doubt about that, but it seemed wrong to ask him.  Using Michael’s machine would solve that problem, and give her company for the evening too. 
Protection
.  But where would it lead?  That was the snag.  She hadn’t forgotten last time, and she was damned sure she didn’t want a repeat.


Let’s be clear here, Michael,’ she said firmly, ‘I do not want a relationship with you.  Friendship, if you like, since I’m hoping to be a part of Grainne’s life for years to come, but nothing else.’

He shrugged, displeased but hardly broken-hearted
, and said, ‘If that’s your final word, friendship it is.’

‘So, if I agree to go to your place tonight it’s strictly to borrow your computer, n
o strings attached?’

‘Well, that and dinner
,’ he said, adding quietly, ‘I give you my word; nothing will happen that you do not specifically ask for.  And I mean
ask
for; I won’t try to read any signals and I won’t try to as much as hold your hand uninvited.  Okay?’

‘Hang on a minute!’ said Kate suddenly, ‘Wh
at about your brother-in-law?  He’s home at the moment and you can bet he won’t want me around!’

BOOK: Hidden
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