Hidden Heart (6 page)

They walked to the buffet
and filled up their plates, then returned to a table and
sat.

“
I’m starving,” Tessa said
between bites. “While I was answering the reporter’s questions, my
stomach made all kind of funky noises…imagine, the band stopped
playing and I could just hear the growling of my belly…I was so
embarrassed.”

“
You poor thing. I can only
imagine how stressful all this has been for you since winning the
auction, but now it’s over. You can relax, maybe take a
mini-vacation, go clear your head. You’ve worked your ass off for
so long, put your own life on hold so you can work on this project.
Maybe it’s time you take it easy. You didn’t marry this company,”
Eva said, picking at her food.

Victor approached them.
“It’s time for the toast. Come, I want you sitting next to
me.”

Tessa pushed her chair away
and followed Victor to another table. Their CEO, along with
Dina—Victor’s wife—and four other representatives from the
company’s main office in Berlin sat and enjoyed their meals.
Someone brought Victor a wireless microphone; he tapped easily on
it, said “Testing, one-two-three” and the room fell
quiet.

“
Good evening ladies and
gentlemen and thank you for honoring us with your presence, and
most of all, thank you for being here to celebrate the biggest
event of the year on the business market.” He looked around the
room, cleared his throat and continued, “I’m not going to talk
about the amazing deal
Titan Project
Development
just closed. And I am not going
to talk about future multi-million dollars business opportunities
open to each one of you who is interested in doing business with
us.”

He stopped and focused his
gaze on Tessa, who until then listened to him, not really paying
much attention. She realized he stared at her and felt everyone’s
eyes on her. A rush of adrenaline spread through her body and her
heartbeat picked up the tempo. Did he say something and needed her
to reply back? Was she supposed to stand up and continue his
toast?

He came to her rescue and
said, “What I want to let everyone know is that I’ve decided to
step down from my position as Director of the
Titan Project Development
office here
in Bucharest and I’d like to introduce to you the new
Director…Anastassia Cosma, or as many of you know her, Tessa
Cosma.”

The room exploded in
applause and cheers. Victor let the cheering go for a couple more
minutes then made a sign and soon the room fell quiet
again.

“
Nine months from now I
will send you all greeting cards from the French Riviera, a cigar
in one hand and a brandy in the other, but most important I
will
not
think of
any business, any contract, or even of you.”

Laughter from all tables
interrupted his speech, but he again demanded attention and
continued, “And you know why? It’s because I know that the company
will be in the best hands I could possibly trust, in the right
place and with the right commander. For those of you who know
Tessa, you know that she is a beautiful woman, with a brilliant
mind and big heart, but a tigress when it comes to business. She’d
show her claws in a split second. Fear her and don’t try playing
games; her sweet smile is just a mask.”

People laughed again, some
clapped and someone shouted, “You better believe it, she is
ferocious!” which prolonged the laughter in the room.

“
Now that I said what I had
to say, please join me in congratulating the new Director of our
company!”

Victor put the microphone
down and reached to help Tessa stand. He shook her hand, then
hugged her for a few seconds and stepped aside, for others to come
around and congratulate her.

Tessa felt like a truck had
hit her. She had no idea Victor wanted to retire so soon, nor that
she would replace him. Her mind swirled and struggled to respond to
all the questions people asked her, shake their hands and accept
their congratulations. It felt as she had just gone through an out
of body experience.

“
What an incredible
surprise, dear,” Daniel said when he finally caught her in his
arms. He took her hand and walked to the dance floor and moved with
her in the slow rhythm of the music.

“
Tell me about it; I feel
like I’m dreaming and soon I’ll wake up. I mean, I had no idea he
wanted me to replace him… can you imagine?” Tessa leaned against
Daniel’s strong body—she still shook from the big news Victor just
shared minutes ago.

“
You’re on top of the world
and I’m so proud of you,” Daniel whispered in her ear. “You’re
incredible and you deserve it.”

“
Serious?”

She looked into his eyes
trying to read his thoughts. There were many nights they argued
about her extended work hours, her constant traveling out of the
country. He’d complained about it so many times; hard to believe
that after all these years and so many arguments, Daniel finally
accepted and agreed to share her with her work.

“
You know this means I’ll
be away from home even more, longer trips, longer work hours… can
we survive this change?”

He twirled her twice
releasing her from his arms, then brought her back and said, “Nice
presents would help me forget about my lonely nights.” He winked at
her and laughed while the band switched to an up-tempo rhythm and
more couples joined them on the dance floor.

“
You know, I feel I am in
the best place of my life, ever. I have an amazing job, I have you,
I have friends and family around me that love me and I love them
back; I could explode with this incredible feeling of
ha—“

“
Tessa, here you are! Come,
we must hurry!” Eva grabbed her arm while Daniel held onto her
other arm.

“
Hey, I’m dancing, can you
just wait until the dance is over?”

Tessa tried to free her
wrist, but Eva had a strong grip on it and didn’t let go. She
looked over her shoulder at Daniel, who let go and backed off. She
had no choice but follow Eva out of the room.

“
Jesus Christ, are you
crazy? Can you just stop and tell me what’s the matter?”

But Eva didn’t reply
immediately, still holding Tessa’s wrist, walking faster and
faster.

“
We must go. Now. It’s
urgent.” Eva hurried outside the hotel. A cab waited for them and
she opened the door, dragging Tessa inside.

“
Emergency Room, Floreasca
Hospital, please.”

Tessa froze hearing the
address. A knot formed in her stomach and her throat, and when she
spoke, she didn’t recognize her own voice.

“
Is it my mama?”

Chapter 3

“
I’m
pretty sure Mama had an affair. She took me several times to
an apartment to help her clean the place. She told me it belonged
to a friend of hers who was going through some difficult times and
she needed to do this to show her support. Each time we went there
she was the happiest I had ever seen her; she made jokes and
laughed like I never saw her doing when we were at home in the
presence of our dad.”

Tessa looked for the first
time at her two sisters sitting on the sofa. Words came out of her
mouth like a scratch that made her throat hurt. She had no idea how
she got the strength to talk about this, but she needed to get it
off of her chest. She kept this for so long just to herself, her
mama’s little secret that felt so heavy on her
shoulders.

Octavia and Chiara looked
puzzled at their younger sister.

An affair? Their
mama?

They sat in the family room
in their parents’ house, with big dark brown leather sofas next to
opposite walls, large windows covering the west wall and plants
everywhere. Above each sofa several family photos, from the time
they were kids all the way to the last Christmas they spent
together. For a moment, the only noise heard came from the rain
outside and the room felt cold and strange.

Each one of them held an
envelope in their hands. The envelopes contained the last written
messages they would ever receive from their mama.

Octavia lived in England,
Chiara in Germany, and Tessa was the only one who remained in
Romania to be close to her parents. After Octavia and Chiara moved
away, they kept in touch with their parents more so than with their
sister. She was only eight years old when Chiara left and sixteen
respectively when Octavia moved away. They visited their parents
sometimes for Christmas or, if their schedule permitted, for a week
over summer. Now in their thirties, they each lived a life they
chose, far away, but having to deal with a great loss—their mama,
the woman that tried to bring and hold them together and who worked
hard to give them a nice life, as nice as a life could be under
communistic regime.

They had great memories
about Ana; she nurtured and gave them everything she could give as
a mother, a friend, and a confidant. She was their biggest
supporter, so enthusiastic and full of life; the one who was there
for them when they needed a shoulder to cry on, a buddy to laugh
with or an answer. But she was gone now and life and the world had
never seemed emptier as that rainy day they had to say goodbye to
her.

“
Years later, I realized
she had a reason for all that behavior; she was in love, but not
with our dad.” Tessa couldn’t sit anymore and went to look out the
window, turning her back to her sisters as tears rolled down her
face. It was a burden she carried alone for far too long. With Ana
being gone, there was no need for the secrecy, no need to hide, but
to let go. She needed closure.

“
Are you sure? Maybe you
just imagined,” Octavia said.

“
Oh, believe me, I wish I
was wrong, but I walked in on her several times when she was on the
phone and her voice, her words betrayed her. The minute she saw me,
she’d either hang up or change the subject.”

“
How could you know about
this and never say a word about it?” Octavia asked in
disbelief.

“
It wasn’t my place or
right to share it with you. Mama could’ve said something all these
years, but I guess she didn’t feel the need to do it. This was not
my secret, but hers,” Tessa said and turned to face them
again.

“
Did you ever see the guy?
Did she reveal who he was? I can’t believe she had an affair. Did
you ever talk to her about it?” Chiara said.

“
How could she do this to
Dad? Did he ever find out? When did it start? Who was that guy?”
Octavia’s tone turned furious.

“
Why she did it, we could
only make an assumption,” Tessa said. “I mean we knew she never
loved Dad, let alone wanted to marry him. They had us and maybe she
felt obligated to stay and raise her daughters. That was more
important to her, to give us a mother and a father than to divorce
and be with the man she really loved. I never agreed with what she
did, but on the same token, I never judged her.

“
Who are you or I to do
that? Remember, she lived in a society where divorced women were
considered second-class individuals. And we would’ve suffered as
kids from her actions if she’d divorced Dad because kids coming
from broken homes were considered bad kids. Our life would’ve been
worse than ever, and growing up under communism was bad enough, why
add to it?” Tessa returned to sit back on the sofa.

Each one of them sat quiet,
deep in their own thoughts.

Communism left such a bad
memory for all of them; they didn’t need to experience again the
way they felt back then. Back when winters felt incredibly cold,
with no electricity or gas for the stoves and the three of them
shared one bed just to keep warm. Or the times over the weekends
when they had to wake up in the middle of the night, the only time
the stove had enough gas to cook a meal, and their mother needed
their help. That was a time they gathered in the kitchen; one
peeled potatoes, another rinsed the veggies, the other one sliced
up the meat—if there was any—, just talking up a storm with their
mama. It wasn’t pleasant to wake up in that manner, but it was the
only way the family could have cooked meals—the same dish—for a
whole week.

Electricity was cut every
evening between six and nine and they used a gas lamp to do their
homework. Sometimes dinners were served at the gas lamplight. Hard
to believe that happened in the twentieth century, in a European
country. The winter nights were the worst; it always seemed they
couldn’t warm up, no matter how many layers they wore.

Or going to school in those
flimsy ugly uniforms the communist regime required. Or the hot
summers without warm water for a whole month. The cold showers they
took, the big pots they filled up with water to wash clothes. The
long and excruciating practice for the celebration on August
twenty-third, the National day of Communism and the day they stood
on their feet from three in the morning till late in the evening to
celebrate, and pay their respects and admiration to the Communist
Party and their “beloved” president.

Or the allotment of food
they received each month and the hunger that never seemed to cease.
Or the empty stores with one single brand of toothpaste, one
shampoo or soap. Or the two hours per day of TV programs that were
another masquerade of the Communist Party who censored every single
film, song, and even the cartoons. Or the music they were forced to
listen to; a constant and monotonous ode for the one and only
Communist Government that sucked the Romanian nation of every bit
of pride, self-esteem and willpower.