Hidden Scars (12 page)

I licked my lips and swallowed hard before attempting to speak. “Chuck, it’s Morgan.”

Chuck squeezed my hand before looking at me through squinted eyes. “How’d you know I was here?” He grimaced with every word.

“I told her,” Kyle answered. “I didn’t want her to hear about it over the phone or from somebody else.”

Chuck peeked in Kyle’s direction. “Nobody will tell me about the car. How bad is it?”

“Sorry, man. It’s history. You won’t be driving it again.”

Chuck closed his eyes. A tear slipped from the corner of his eye, trailed down the line of his strong jaw to drip on the pillow. “I’m sorry, Morgan.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Don’t worry about anything but getting better,” my voice quivered. I wanted to say more, but couldn’t without bawling my head off.

“Excuse me, but I need to get his vitals,” a clipped voice sounded from behind me. I turned my head and stared at the white uniform until I heard her next command, “If y’all don’t mind waiting outside.”

I leaned forward and whispered, “I’ll be back in a minute, Chuck.”

His eyes moved under their lids, but he didn’t attempt to open them again. Instead, he squeezed my hand before releasing it.

Marvin led us to a nearby waiting room where Janet met me at the door. “How is he?”

“Oh, Janet, he looks awful, but I know it could have been worse.”

“Yes, it could have been a lot worse.” Chuck’s mother sat rigid in a nearby chair. Her fingers gripped a Styrofoam cup. “He could have been killed.” She directed an unwavering glare in my direction. “He’s pushed himself too hard, Morgan. He’s too young to think about marriage and take on all these changes and responsibility. Much less give up a job that pays the amount of money he makes. I’ve tried talking to him. Now it’s time for you to tell him. If you love him and want what’s best for him, you’ll tell him.” She stood and left the room. Marvin trailed behind her.

Janet stood beside me. “She’s upset, Morgan. Don’t let her get to you.”

“It’s too late. She already has.”

I sat on the edge of a Naugahyde chair watching over Chuck. His chest, unguarded in sleep, moved with a steady rhythm.

A nurse slipped in. “Visiting hours are over. Everyone but his immediate family will have to leave now.” She checked his I.V., smoothed the covers, and finally left.

I glanced at Mrs. Mathews, hoping she would confirm I was family. She didn’t. I don’t know why I expected her to be any different. Her actions and earlier remarks made it clear she wasn’t ready to accept me, any more than my parents would accept Chuck.

I shivered as we walked to Janet’s car, grateful for Kyle’s escort. The starless night closed around us, lending a gloom I couldn’t shake. The damp chill added to a feeling of dread. Chuck lay battered, bruised, and in pain, yet I couldn’t help or even comfort him. In fact, I’d only hurt him more by drawing him into my dysfunctional world.

Kyle promised to pick me up tomorrow morning then shut the passenger door. Janet slid into the driver’s seat. She started the car, eased out of the hospital parking lot, and headed toward Greer.

Streetlights danced across the window. The coolness of the leather bench matched the numbness within me.

Janet’s voice washed over me before her words sank into my consciousness. “She’s upset, Morgan. People say things they don’t mean when they’re under stress. Chuck would have a fit if he knew what his mother said to you.”

I jerked my head toward her. “Don’t you dare tell him.”

“I won’t, but you should.”

“Maybe his mother’s right. Sometimes I wonder if we’d be getting married so young if things were different with my parents.”

Janet glanced at me and quickly turned her attention back to the road. “What are you saying? That you’re marrying Chuck to get away from your parents?”

“You know that’s not true.” I shot back, angry she, of all people, would suggest such a thing.

“Then why are you talking this way?”

“Look, I’m ready to get married and for all the right reasons. But think about all the pressure Chuck must be under with the move and the new job. He has to make enough money for food, house, clothing, and doctor bills. I’m more of a burden to him than a help. Marriage is a huge responsibility.”

“Are you just now thinking about all this? Because if you are—”

“No. Yes. Maybe I haven’t looked at it hard enough from his perspective. I don’t want him to wake up one day, regretting everything he had to give up.”

Janet shook her head. “Boy, his mother sure did a number on you. This is so like you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Why do you always doubt that people like you for you? Why can’t you see that Chuck asked you to marry him because he loves you, and he’s ready to get married?”

“I know he loves me. It’s…oh, I don’t know.” I leaned my head back against the seat. “I’m too tired and upset to think straight. Can we talk about something else?”

“All right, but first, I want you to promise you won’t do anything stupid. At least not until Chuck is better and the two of you talk this out. Promise me.”

“Of course I’ll talk to him. He needs to understand we don’t have to get married right away. Especially now. His body needs time to heal. He has to replace his car, and who knows how all this might affect his new job. We may have to postpone the wedding for a while.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

I looked out the passenger window into darkness. “I’ll have to be.”

After a restless night, I woke to the murmur of voices coming from the kitchen, Janet and her mother. The smell of sizzling bacon wafted through the back bedroom. My stomach rumbled, reminding me how little I’d eaten in the past twenty-four hours. I took a quick shower and began dressing.

“You better hurry it up, Morgan.” Mr. Barnes’s gruff tone never could mask his kind heart. “We’ll start without you if you’re not at the table in two seconds.”

In the kitchen, Janet’s mother handed me a cup of steaming, hot chocolate. “We’re sorry about Chuck’s accident, but thankful he’s okay. Janet wasn’t sure how long he’d be in the hospital.”

“I don’t know either. Kyle and I are going back this morning to check on him.”

“Well, sit down and let’s bless the food so you can eat before he gets here.”

Before I brought the first bite of egg to my mouth, the phone rang. My emotions churned. Was Kyle calling to report a change in Chuck’s condition?

Mrs. Barnes answered, glanced in my direction, and cupped her hand over the mouthpiece. “Morgan, it’s your mother.”

My stomach clenched. I rose slowly, walked over, and reached for the phone with trembling hands. Before I could say more than hello, Mom’s rant began. “You can’t help yourself can you? You had to go running when you heard your precious Chuck had been in an accident. I understand alcohol was involved.”

“The other driver had been drinking, Mom, not Chuck.”

“That’s not what I hear, but you always stick your head in the sand when it comes to that boy. I knew when I heard he was in the hospital you’d left Midway, and sure enough, Mrs. Henderson confirmed my suspicion. What time does Janet or her mother plan on bringing you home?”

“Kyle should be here any minute to—”

“I don’t want that boy in my house. Do you hear me? He can let you out at the end of the driveway.”

“He’s taking me to the hospital to see Chuck.”

“So you’re not coming here? Had you planned to sneak into town then leave without saying a word? This is the thanks we get for sending you to college, doing without so you could have? You ungrateful…Wait until your father hears about this.”

I wanted desperately to hang up, but I didn’t have the guts.

Mom continued venting. “We’ve raised you to do better, but you’ve never been anything but a disappointment and an embarrassment. One of these days, when he gets through using you, maybe you’ll wake up. Did you ever think this wreck was God’s way of punishing you both? He’s nothing but trash and—”

“Stop it! You have no right to say those things.”

“Don’t you talk to me in that tone. I have every
right
. I’m your mother.”

“Why, Mom?” My chin quivered. “I wish I knew why.”

“Why what? Why must I talk to you like you’re a child? Because you are a child. Enjoy the rest of this semester, Morgan.”

When Mom slammed the phone down, I wanted to run from the room, hide, and pretend the past twenty-four hours never happened, but I couldn’t. Janet’s family was waiting for me. But the ever-present tears lurked so close. Stinging. Burning. Deep breaths. I had to go back to the table even if I wouldn’t be able to swallow a single bite.

“I’m sorry.” Unable to make eye contact, I draped the napkin back in my lap and smoothed it over and over.

Janet’s mother patted my arm. “Don’t you worry about it.”

Mr. Barnes’s kiss on my cheek dislodged tears I quickly batted away.

Kyle’s arrival allowed me to stop pushing the food around my plate. I gathered my belongings and thanked Janet and her family for their help and then hugged them good-bye.

When Kyle and I arrived on the third floor of the hospital, I was relieved to see Chuck’s father open the door to Chuck’s room. Even more relieved when I found out his mother had stayed home.

His father took my hand and led me to Chuck’s bedside. “This is all the medicine you need right here, son.”

If possible, Chuck’s bruised and swollen face appeared more painful than it had last night, yet the doctor had already written his discharge order. Chuck lay on top of the bedcovers in pajamas, robe, and house shoes, waiting for the nurses to complete the appropriate paperwork. He winced when he reached for my hand.

“Are you sure you’re not leaving too soon?” I kissed his cheek, avoiding his swollen lips.

“I’m sure. I’ve got too much to do, and
you
,” he squeezed my hand and took a shallow breath, “need to get back to Midway before your parent’s find out you left.”

I didn’t dare tell him it was too late. He had enough to worry about.

He peered past me to his friend. “Kyle will drive you back. Won’t you?”

Kyle nodded. “Already been discussed and decided.”

The nurses interrupted us with paperwork and instructions. Chuck moved slowly, refusing help, although at times he couldn’t avoid a moan of pain. Once he was seated in the wheelchair, I walked beside him and held his hand until we reached the front curve where his father waited. I let go and stood back while Kyle helped him into the cab of the truck. Chuck held his side and grimaced as he eased back against the seat. I leaned in and kissed him good-bye on the cheek.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” he spoke through clenched teeth.

I swallowed hard and nodded. Kyle dropped an arm around my shoulders as Chuck’s dad drove away. “He’s going to be fine, Morgan.”

Midway held mixed emotions for me. I had no choice but to return. After all, we weren’t married. It wouldn’t be proper—even if it were possible—for me to stay and take care of him. My heart ached. Even Kyle’s promise to keep an eye on Chuck didn’t comfort me.

By midafternoon, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I gathered all my change, walked to the phone room, and dialed Chuck’s grandmother. He had moved in with her after his grandfather’s death three years ago. He didn’t have to go far; she lived next door to his parents on a small plot of country ground. I was sure Chuck would be recovering in his own bed.

A sweet, but strong voice answered, “Hello.”

“Mrs. Cox, it’s Morgan. I wondered if I could talk with Chuck?”

“Who’d you say?”

“Morgan. Morgan Selby.”

“Yes, Morgan. Honey, Chuck’s not here. He’s staying at his mother’s for a few days. I guess you heard about his wreck.”

“That’s why I’m call—”

“They say he’s lucky to be alive. I don’t know what we would’ve done if we’d lost him. The Lord was sure looking after him.”

Chuck’s grandmother continued without missing a beat, rambling praises and concerns, which I silently agreed with wholeheartedly. I studied the coins in my hand. “Mrs. Cox, I don’t have a lot of money—”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“No, I mean, I’m using a payphone, and I don’t have a lot of change. I need to hang up and try to get in touch with Chuck.”

“Well, he’s at his mother’s. Do you have the number?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

I thanked her, hung up, dialed the Mathews’s residence, and fed more money into the phone base. I cringed when Mrs. Mathews answered with an agitated tone. Her mood didn’t improve when I announced myself and asked to speak with Chuck.

“He’s resting right now, and I don’t think we should bother him. It’s been a rough day for him, for all of us. He needs his rest. I’ll let him know you called, Morgan.”

I plodded back to my room, thinking about all the different people and circumstances that had tried to stand between Chuck and me, yet our love for each other remained strong. Once again, I had no choice but to wait and pray. I reached for my Bible and turned to the marker in Psalms. A group of words jumped off the page.
In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.

I pondered the words: God, trust, fear, man. A shiver ran through my body. I felt a strong urgency to decide which one would rule my life, fear of man or trust in God?

God, you’re right. I believe in You, but I haven’t been trusting in You. Not really. It’s hard for me. I haven’t had good experience with trust. I’m afraid, but I’m tired of living in fear. Today, I put my trust in You, my true Father, my protector. Help me to hold on to Your hand and to face whatever comes my way in this life
.

Meg, a brunette from down the hall, opened the door. “Morgan, you have a phone call.”

Once again mixed emotions assailed me as I moved toward the phone room. I hoped it was Chuck calling, but Mom could also be waiting on the other end of the line. With each step, I asked God for courage then took a deep breath as I reached for the dangling receiver.

“Hello?”

“Morgan,” my sister greeted. “It’s Marsha.”