HIDDEN SECRETS (2 page)

“Where are you going?” she snapped.

“Do you really care?”

“Oh grow up Ben.”

“Me grow up, don’t make me laugh,” he walked away. “I’ll be at the office if you need me.”

I’ll see you later,” he called over his shoulder.

“No you won’t see me later. I don’t want you to come back here tonight,” she followed him into the hall.

“This is incredible.”

“I know you’re hiding something from me Ben.”

“And what do you mean by that?” he turned round, his face stern and questioning.

“Just go away.”

Ben picked up his keys and left leaving Kate feeling disappointed at how badly she had handled the situation, but she still sensed he was holding something back from her. It was as if he had deliberately started an argument to avoid telling her the truth. There could only be two feasible explanations as to why some-one had sent the prints. One, it was a mistake- which was highly improbable- or two, Ben had been involved with someone else in the past and for some unknown reason, she now wanted Kate to know about it. It didn’t take her long to decide which option was the most viable.  Picking up one of the photographs she stared intently at the couple captured in the frame.

        The woman was about thirty or slightly younger she guessed, and her companion- it was Ben without a doubt- was probably a couple of years older. Ben was thirty nine next birthday; so this shot could have been taken at least ten years previously. They had only been married for six years, so the relationship must have occurred before this time. So why had he not told her about his past?

        This particular woman was not exactly pretty-her nose seemed too big for her face- but she had beautiful dark eyes that instantly commanded attention. Her dark shoulder length hair was worn loose and tucked behind her ears revealing a pair of huge white plastic ear-rings. They looked cheap and tatty, but suited the wearer in an odd way. The rest of her appearance was quite plain; including her clothing, which seemed slightly dated. The floral skirt worn with a clinging white top accentuating her ample breasts would have been fashionable ten years previously. If Ben had been in a relationship with this woman, his tastes must have changed dramatically. By comparison, Kate was the total opposite in appearance and taste. Her own very short hair, small nose - Ben said it looked like a button- and a slim figure were in total contrast to this ‘other’ woman.  Kate studied the man in the photo again- it had to be Ben- his clothes were as dated as his companions'. His sleeves had been rolled up to expose a tanned forearm, and a gold coloured watch on his left wrist. He wore a chain of the same gold colour around his neck. Perhaps the photos were older than she had first imagined. If Ben had been with this woman before they married it wouldn’t seem so bad, but she then realised how little she knew of his past.

They had met at a party of a mutual friend, whose name she couldn’t remember now. Even though he was not overly handsome she was instantly attracted to him. His dark hair was brushed back and held neatly in place with gel which had a distinctive smell. He certainly didn’t stand out in a crowd as being a flamboyant dresser, but he was smart with an air of pride in his appearance, and a smile that lit up his face and melted her heart. It wasn’t love at first sight, but it was pretty close. Judging by his spotlessly clean fingernails and smooth hands, she guessed he was probably a clerical worker. She had been amused to discover that his occupation involved securing cleaning contracts from all over the country. It was obvious from his appearance that cleanliness was of paramount importance in his life. Even more surprising was the fact that Ben was once employed as a factory worker and at the same time, studied on a part time basis to obtain a degree.

        He was a very gentle person and still was to a certain extent, but he was inclined to be somewhat pernickety. His propensity towards neatness and order verged on obsession. He couldn’t leave a towel draped untidily over the bath, or walk past a painting on the wall that was slightly off centre. Kate suspected his behaviour was concurrent with obsessive compulsive disorder, but she never discussed it with him. Now it seemed irrelevant; his eccentric personality was what made him who he was, and she was going to miss him terribly.

        Still reminiscing on when they first met, she re-called how impressed Ben had been by her medical knowledge. As a child, she dreamed of one day becoming a doctor until she discovered the years of study involved and the qualifications required for entry at university. She settled for a college course studying anatomy and medicine, and eventually attained a position as a medical secretary to a highly regarded orthopaedic surgeon at a hospital. The hospital- Saint Catherine’s- however was situated forty miles away from Dawlish, where she still lived with her parents. She had never heard of the town named Coleton, but she was looking forward to moving away and finding a home of her own. As an only child, it had been very hard for her mother to adjust but Kate visited most week-ends, but this changed after she met Ben. Her visits home dwindled as she spent more time with him and very quickly, fell deeply in love for the first time in her life

        Bringing her thoughts back to the photograph before her and the fact that her husband had told her very little of his life before they met, she stared intently at the image. All she knew for certain was that his parents had divorced when he was two years old, and he was raised by his mother, who never remarried. He never saw his father again and had no memory of him. As an only child, Ben didn’t make friends easily and was a loner throughout his schooldays. After he left school he drifted from one menial job to another before he enrolled at college to study for a business degree.

        It was at this time that his mother was killed in a car crash, which caused him to suffer a nervous breakdown. The next few years of his life were very vague- the wilderness years as Ben referred to them- but after he recovered he launched himself into building up a reputable cleaning business. After five years, his employees numbered over one hundred people but he always insisted on meeting new clients personally. Before their marriage he had travelled all over the world in order to secure new deals, but now he rarely went outside the U.K.

       It was on one of these trips that he had met, and had an affair with a young woman whose name she didn’t know or care. He said it just happened and she meant nothing to him, but Kate was deeply hurt by his actions and made him leave. She needed time to think about her life, but she couldn’t do that while he was around. The thought of divorcing him was daunting, but she doubted her ability to forgive him. Finding no answer she decided to give him another chance for which he was very grateful. Their relationship at the time had not been ideal, arguments were on a daily basis and she had been relieved when he announced details of a forthcoming trip to London. He was away for four days and she had missed him terribly. When he returned, she unpacked his suitcase and discovered a hotel receipt tucked in a side compartment. He tried in vain to talk his way out of why he had booked a double room, and ordered champagne and an evening meal for two. After a tearful row, packed with insults on both sides, he left.

     This period in her life had been the most traumatic she had ever experienced. It was also at this time that her father was diagnosed with terminal cancer; and it enhanced her feelings of resentment towards Ben. The knowledge of her father’s impending death clouded her judgement. She needed emotional support from her husband, but her pride and his infidelity stood in the way.

She had spent an agonising few days trying to reach a decision before he persuaded her to give him another chance, which she reluctantly did, even though she lacked the ability to completely trust him.

      When her father died a few weeks later, Ben’s misdemeanours seemed trivial and she put them out of her mind. He had been very attentive, and revealed a compassionate side to his nature she had never seen before. Her weak emotional state had made her vulnerable, but she still felt that their relationship was tainted. That was in the past, but as she looked at the photographs, the bad memories re-surfaced and she feared their relationship was in jeopardy once again. She had suffered so much emotional pain in the past; she was unsure whether she could forgive him ever again. The experience had changed her; she was emotionally stronger and totally unforgiving. Without thinking, she picked up her mobile and called Ben.

“It’s me,” she said, when he eventually answered.

“Have you calmed down and come to your senses yet?” he asked abruptly.

“Where are you?” she ignored his question.

“I’m still at the office trying to sort this shit out,” he sounded agitated.

“I know the feeling.”

“What is it you want Kate?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“Talk away, but make it quick.”

“I can’t talk to you over the phone. Anyway, there’s something I need to show you.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to come back?”

“I was angry with you Ben, can we just forget about it for now?”

“That’s fine by me. I’ll see if I can get away around three; bye love,” he ended the call.

Kate placed her phone on the table and picked up the photographs again. She was particularly drawn to one which depicted the happy couple sitting at a café table under a huge sun umbrella. The woman was holding a glass of wine in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. Her companion- it had to be Ben- was gazing lovingly at her, as she posed for the camera. It was only now, as she studied the couple in more detail, that she saw it. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? On the third finger of her left hand she noticed a wedding ring. This couple were husband and wife or if they weren’t married to each other, she was someone else’s wife. Turning her attention away from the couple, she studied the surroundings. There was a sign above the table with the name of the café painted in bright red lettering, but she could not make out what it said. Searching for her glasses, she looked at the sign again. The words were slightly blurred, but she could make out the name Max, and a telephone number beneath it. The number was too small for her to read, but the location was clearly visible; it definitely said Southpool.

“Southpool, it sounds familiar,” she spoke aloud.

Kate had heard of the place but was uncertain of its exact location, and reached for Ben’s dog-eared road atlas which he refused to throw away. Flicking through the index, she ran her finger down the long list until she found it.

“Southpool got it.” The sound of a key turning in the front door caused her to look up, as Ben appeared in the door way.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I thought you might like to go out for lunch?” he suggested with a faint smile.

“If this is your idea of an apology, forget it,” she replied firmly.

“Don’t start arguing again. All I want to do is take you out for something to eat,” he refused to be drawn into another argument.

“I’m not very hungry, it’s only 12.30.” she glanced at her watch.

“We could leave it an hour then. What are you looking for?”

“Southpool, I’m not certain where it is.”

“It’s in Devon, on the south coast I think. You should know it’s not that far from where your mother lives,” he replied vaguely.

“How do you know where it is?” she glanced up at him.

“The same way I know where London and Cardiff are. I’ve travelled all over the country. You know that, so why do you want to know where it is?”

“Take a close look at the sign on this photograph,” she held it up without looking at him.

“You’re not still looking at these are you?” he gave it a cursory glance and added, “I suppose you still think this is me in the picture do you?”

“Unless you have a twin brother?” she smirked.

“How strange would that be?”

“Now you’re being ridiculous Ben,” she stood up, left the room and returned a few minutes later.

“Take a look at that,” she pressed the photograph into his hand.

“I’m sick of looking at these bloody photographs, just throw them in the bin love.”

“Just look at it Ben please; then look at this,” she waved his gold watch in the air.

“Why have you got my watch?” he asked cautiously.

“Because this person-who you claim isn’t you-is wearing your watch. Don’t you think that’s weird?” he gave the photo a fleeting glance.

“You can’t seriously believe that watch there is mine?” he stabbed the photo.

Storming into the kitchen, Ben scooped all the prints together and threw them into the bin. While he was out of the room, Kate slid the photo of the café into the road atlas, turned the page over at the corner, and placed it back onto the shelf. When he returned she was sitting on the sofa with her legs resting on a cushion,

“I thought you weren’t coming home until later?” she said.

“I decided to take the afternoon off, I’ve had a meeting cancelled,” he paused.

“Are we going out for lunch then?”

“I suppose so, but I won’t be able to eat a big meal.”

“You can have whatever you want love,” he smiled and added.

“Right, I’m going to take a shower.”

“O.K.” Kate nodded.