Hide 'N Seek (32 page)

Yes, she did love him, but she wasn’t going down that road again. No discussion required. He could go find someone who could give him a house full of babies. Did he tell her he wanted a house full of children? No, but neither had Jared. Yet that had stopped them from getting married.

Beck pulled into her driveway. She jumped out and said, “You can take it. Let me know where to pick it up later.”

“I’m coming in with you.” He turned off the engine and got out after her.

“I didn’t invite you in.” She slammed the of the SUV door. Beck was right behind her by the time she reached the verandah.

“Dammit! You just killed someone.”

“Yes and I don’t want to talk about it.” She wanted him to go, but it didn’t look like he was planning on doing that.

“I don’t want to either. I want to be here with you, Marklynn.”

“For how long?” She flung the door open and it smashed against the front hall closet. She wrapped her arms around her body to keep from coming apart.

“What do you mean
for how long
?”

Looking at him she realized he didn’t know what she meant. He really did just want to be with her and she didn’t want to accept it. He would change his mind later and she couldn’t live with the hurt.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that nothing. I want to know why you said it. Talk to me.”

Silence filled the room except for the
tick tick tick
of the wall clock above the mantel. Funny, she’d never heard it before or had even paid any attention to it.

“Why is it so hard to get through to you?” he asked. Frustration was evident in his voice as he raked his hand through his hair. It seemed as if he wanted to shake her. “Talk to me.”

Her nerves were raw. She was hurting and not just from the shooting. They should have this conversation when they both had clear heads. But it was never going to happen. How did she protect herself from getting hurt again? She would do the pushing.

“I don’t know if I can do this again.”

“Do what, Marklynn?”

“Do you want children?”

He blinked slowly then stared at her as if he finally understood. “Is that what this is all about?”

She looked down at the floor afraid to hear his answer.

“I’m not going to lie to you and say no. Becoming a parent was something I had considered when the time was right.”

Her heart shattered in a million pieces because even though he had considered it he would eventually want children, and she couldn’t give him what he wanted. The time would never be right for them.

“Well I can’t. It’s that simple. The bullet I took in my pelvis destroyed one ovary and traumatized the other.” She swallowed back the tears. “There is something inside me that hurts when I think about it. It’s not fair to you or me to proceed with this. You’ll only end up changing your mind.”

“Since we started
this
I haven’t changed my mind about my feelings for you. I gave you the time you needed because I love you. You on the other hand, have been clutching onto the past. You’re terrified of letting it go and reaching out to me.” Beck paused when she turned her back to him. “Okay,” he said taking a deep breath. “This is not the time to discuss this. Let’s talk about this tomorrow.”

“No, Jared we can’t.”

“It’s Dalton Beck!” With a hand on her shoulder, he spun her around to face him. “Dalton Beck,” he said again, nostrils flared.

“What?” Markie stared at him oblivious to what she had said.

“You called me Jared.”

It was the hurt that reflected in his eyes that tore at Markie’s heart. She hadn’t meant to call him Jared.

The roller coaster week…the shooting…Sydney. Everything collided together at that moment in her mind. And with that, the realization of what she’d set out to do…what she’d accomplished.

She felt a sense of loss, but the damage was done. There was nothing left to say. Tears shimmered in her eyes.

“I’m…”

“It’s okay.” Beck dropped his hand from her shoulder. “I finally get it.”

He backed away from her, turned on his heels and headed towards the door. Markie jumped when he slammed the door. She stood staring at the closed door as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“L
ook at you,” Markie said when she entered the hospital room the following afternoon.

It had taken the rest of yesterday afternoon, and a sleepless night to pull herself together after Beck had left. This morning she plastered a smile on her face as she entered the hospital. It was all about Sydney today.

Sydney was up and dressed in a red halter-top summer dress sitting on the bed applying a red lipstick shade to her lips. The doctor said she could go home today.

The marks were still visible from the rope burn around her wrist, but her honey brown coloring was back. Her eyes were brighter with full eye make up.

“I was tired of the hospital get up. Since this is my last day in this wonderful establishment, I might as well leave in style.”

“Where can I take you to lunch dressed like that?”

“Do you like it?” Sydney stood up and did the walk of a model strutting her stuff on a catwalk from the bed to the window. “Nan bought the dress for me.”

“Very nice. You look great.”

“More than I can say for you. You look like you haven’t been to bed yet.” Sydney sat down on the bed and patted a spot beside her. Tell me, were you and the dishy Dalton Beck getting it on last night?”

“How did you find out about him?”

“Pleeease. Nan keeps sprouting her proverbs and,” she pointed to the bouquet of calla lilies on the window ledge. “Who sends calla lilies?”

“Dalton Beck,” Markie replied missing him. Wanting to undo what she’d done last night but feared it was too late.

Beck was different from everyone else. Never leaving anything to chance. Knowing Beck he probably asked Nan what kind of flowers Sydney liked before he even set foot in the flower shop.

“He and I are not seeing each other anymore.”

She thought about the conversation they had last night and had convinced herself that she had made the right decision for both of them. The only problem was she wasn’t certain of that anymore, but he got the message loud and clear. Her SUV was in the driveway this morning and the key in the mailbox. He had returned it without a word.

“What happened with Beck?”

Markie didn’t want to talk about Beck and changed the conversation to a safer topic.

“Where is Carlos?”

“The threat is gone so Nan tells me and I sent him home,” Sydney said staring off into space for a moment. “He asked me out and…”

“…you turned him down. Carlos is very persistent. Trust me, he will ask you again.”

“Maybe I’ll be ready by then.” Sydney took Markie’s hand. “Tell me what happened with Beck?”

“Wasn’t meant to be.”

She looked at Sydney and it was as if she was seeing her sister for the first time. Sydney had changed. There was something more settled about her. She had told Nan that she wanted to be around more and she meant it.

Right there and then in the hospital where doctors were being paged, laughter and cries drifting into the room through the open door, Markie told Sydney everything. She began with why she left her job as a police officer, which led to her broken engagement with Jared and a life without children, and it ended with her fight with Beck.

“I’m so sorry.”

Sydney’s sorry covered a whole spectrum of things. Markie could tell and at that moment they finally connected after years of being emotionally estranged. Nothing mattered any more because they had found each other again.

“I know. What about you? Nan said Macy came to see you. There is a job offer on the table for a six-month assignment in Israel. You’re going to be a photojournalist or rather an assistant to one anyway.”

“I’m not interested.”

“Why?” Markie already knew the answer before she asked the question. Sydney was afraid. She had survived her ordeal, but she’d lost the one thing that made her Sydney…her free spirit.

“I’m not up to it.”

“It’s a great opportunity.” Markie paused for a moment. She didn’t want to push Sydney into something she wasn’t ready for. “Does your decision have anything to do with Derrick?”

Sydney looked down at the floor, her eyes watered. “I wanted to tell you about him, but when he died it didn’t matter any more.”

“Tell me about him anyway. Don’t even
think
about leaving out the part where you jumped out of his birthday cake wearing a string bikini.”

Sydney screamed with laughter. “How did you know about that?”

“I’m a P.I., remember?”

“It was his thirtieth,” she said still laughing.” I had been seeing him for about six months when I’d planned that. After two of his men were killed in combat, he didn’t smile any more.”

“How did you meet him?”

“He stole my parking spot at the mall and I blocked him in.” A smile settled on Syd’s face as if she was remembering that day. “He had
me
towed. I couldn’t believe it. Then he had the gall to ask me out and I said yes.”

“I would’ve liked him.”

Sydney closed her eyes for a moment. “Derrick was everything I wanted in my life…order…stability. He saw me at my best and worst and loved me anyway.”

“I’m sorry he died. I wish I’d known him.”

Sydney wiped her eyes with a tissue she retrieved from her makeup kit. “Can we stop all this sorry business and get out of here. My priority right now is finding a new place to live. I’m not going back to that apartment, not after all that drama.”

“You don’t have to rush into finding a place. You can stay with me as long as you like.”

“That sounds great now, but it won’t be long before we drive each other crazy.”

“Fair enough. Just promise me one thing. Think about the assignment in Israel.”

“I will.”

“My two girls are back together again,” Nan said when she breezed into the room wearing a green and yellow floral dress down to her ankles. The straw hat she’d placed strategically on her head had a big sunflower on the brim, and on her arm, a yellow sunflower straw bag to match the hat. White laced gloves covered her hands.

“Why are you dressed up like a flower garden?” Sydney asked.

Markie smiled, lightly elbowing Sydney in the ribs.

“What? You were thinking the same thing.”

“You’re back to your old self, Syd,” Nan laughed and when she did her whole body shook. “If you must know, I’m having afternoon tea with a dear friend.”

“Afternoon tea?” Markie and Sydney asked in unison.

“Yes. You know, it requires a kettle, boiled water and a tea bag.”

“Tea eh?” Markie asked. Was it possible that Nan was going out on a date? “What’s his name?”

“Why should I give you two something to talk about?” Nan stood hands on her hips and cocked her head to one side looking at them both.

A ray of emotions spread across her face. It was the sadness in Nan’s eyes that tugged at Markie’s heart.

“My two girls have survived the last week of hell and now they’re afraid to live.”

Both Markie and Sydney looked at each other then at Nan. They said nothing. Nan took their silence to mean that she was indeed correct. That sadness that Markie had seen in Nan’s eyes was replaced by sheer determination. She would have her say.

“Sydney, your Derrick is gone, but you can’t stop living because he is. That’s not right. I should’ve said something to you before. I guess it wasn’t the right time,” Nan said, pulling off her gloves. “Life is too short. Grab it.” Nan opened and closed her fingers together in a tight fist. “Live it with as much zest as you used to. Follow your dreams. Hiding is not what you do.”

Markie remained silent because she knew she was next in line. And she didn’t have to wait long.

“Marklynn…” Nan came and stood in front of Markie, touching her face. “You are the most giving and selfless person I know. You are as smart as a whip and for the life of me I don’t know why you can’t see that Dalton Beck is a good man. If you stop running long enough and let him catch up to you, you will be pleasantly surprised. I guarantee it.”

“Hope I’m not interrupting.”

They all turned towards the door and Sydney’s mouth dropped open. An elderly man with snow-white hair, white goatee, dressed in a white suit and shirt with a black bowtie stood at the door, leaning heavily on his cane.

“Not at all. See you girls later. Oh, and don’t forget dinner next Sunday. Remember to invite Macy, and whom ever else you wish.”

With a quick peck on their cheeks Nan was gone.

“She didn’t even introduce us,” Markie said, pretending to be offended.

“He looks like the man in the chicken commercial Colonel something,” Sydney whispered and they both began to laugh.

“I heard that,” Nan’s voice drifted from the hall.

•  •  •

It had taken Markie a week to figure out that Nan was right. Arriving at that conclusion was no easy task. She’d analyzed all the conversations she and Beck had since they met. Reliving all the times they had spent together trying to figure out if there was anything about Beck that made her believe he was anything like Jared.

She arrived at two conclusions. One, Jared was not the man for her. He had made the decision to end their engagement based on what he wanted. In the end it wasn’t her. Two, if he hadn’t let her go then she wouldn’t have met Beck.

Dalton Beck.

She had messed up the best thing in her life and for what? Because she was afraid.

Fear wasn’t something she had ever given into in her life. Yet, she’d walked away from Beck without at least giving him a chance. That was about to change.

Markie had decided to swing by Beck’s condo after dropping Sydney off at the airport half an hour ago. After a week of going back and forth, Sydney was on her way to Israel to meet Macy.

It was her turn now. The only thing was she couldn’t bring herself to park and leave the confines of her vehicle.

“You’re a coward,” she told herself on the fifth drive by and decided to park before she ran out of gas.