Hide: Part One (The Black Letters Series Book 1) (3 page)

“Honey, you were pressed as close to my dick as possible with clothing on. Now tell me, did you ever feel him rise to the occasion?”

I furrowed my brows as his cocky grin set in place

“Oh come on!” I whined.

Nathan laughed out loud as he unlocked the door. His arm locking around my waist as I stood there perplexed. “No, you come on. It’s time to go to bed.”

With a strong grasp on my hip, Nathan led me inside. I shoved him away, nearly falling into the wall when he let go. Using the wall for support, I tugged my heels off in the most unladylike way possible. Nathan removed his shoes as though it were any other day.

“You really didn’t feel anything?” I asked in disbelief.

“Nope, not sexually. I know I got to you, though. I have that effect on men
and
women.”

I huffed in annoyance as I sluggishly stood. “You wish!”

Nathan laughed again, then swiftly picked me up, carrying me to my bedroom.

I laid my head on his strong chest. “We could be together. It’d be the perfect marriage. We both care more about our work than anything else, so we’d just hang out on the off chance we weren’t working. I don’t think it’d be as complicated as a real marriage.”

Nathan set me down by the foot of my bed. “Me fucking a man on the side might make things complicated.”

He gently urged me to sit. “That wouldn’t be a good headline for the business. Nathan Conklin, guru of the business industry, caught cheating on his beloved wife with another man.”

“Another man in an elevator would be a better headline. But only if it included a photo,” I added.

We both laughed under our breaths. “You know that even in your wildest dreams a gay man wouldn’t be able to tame you.”

I looked into his eyes, and he was right. My drunkenness faded slightly as our friendship solidified to an even higher place than it already was.

“Maybe not, but he could make me feel safe,” I whispered, looking down into my lap. His thumbs caressed my cheeks as he studied me.

“If you can’t kiss me or fuck me, can you at least hold your drunk best friend until she falls asleep?”

Maybe the real reason I wanted intimacy with Nathan was because I thought it would take away a fraction of fear. My heart beat faster, wondering what measures Rod would take this time, and wondering how far he’d go to try and control me again.

Nathan’s hands brushed my hair behind my ears. “Yeah, but don’t get used it.” His words were stern, but I knew he would always have my back just as I’d always have his.

Chapter Four

“Jamie, we’ll get there on time. Stop worrying,” Landon assured me as he sped through town in the beat up Toyota Corolla we shared. He had to drop me off at my internship before he had to be at his own job at the Country Club.

“I can’t be late, Landon.”

“You worry too much.  Not like Dad’s going to fire you from your work study,” he scoffed while taking a left at the stop sign. Our father was the sheriff at the Canal Point Police Station where I’d been doing my work co-op. Dad didn’t like me working during the evening times when the cadets would bring in the low lifes, but money was tight for our large family. The little bit of money he could give me by working at the station made him feel better knowing we could buy the things that he and my mother couldn’t help purchase. Plus, the down time worked well for me to study.

“That’s not the point. I don’t like to be late. Deputy Garreti likes to take his dinner break right at 5 pm every night.”

“I’m sure he could wait a few minutes,” Landon teased.

“I don’t want to disappoint anyone,” I sighed, hugging my bag tighter. 

Landon slapped his hand on my shoulder. “You need to loosen up, little sis.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not that much younger than you.”

“Every minute counts in my book.”

“Whatever, thanks for getting me here.” I darted out the door.

The station was tiny, and only housed a handful of employees. I flew to my normal spot in the corner just in the knick of time. Deputy Garreti greeted me with a smile as I took my seat.  “No need to rush, Jamie.”

I smiled gratefully at him.

“You still enjoying the experience?”  Deputy Garreti asked as he shifted in his seat. 

“It’s been wonderful. I’m really learning a lot,” I lied. The truth was, I’d done this work study so I could sleep in an extra hour every morning by missing a class. I didn’t realize the added benefits of seeing the eye-catching cadets who’d come in to relieve the deputy. They made the job more interesting.

“Well, the cadet should be in soon,” Deputy Garreti sighed while rubbing his belly. A soft growl came from his stomach. I turned my head so my hair would hide my face as I attempted to hold in my giggle.

“Sorry I’m late.” 

My eyes darted toward the cadet, but quickly found their way back to the paperwork in front of me. I had to keep my cool. He’d never be interested in me if I acted like a typical whiny, dipshit seventeen-year-old girl.

“No harm done. Keep Jamie company for me,” Deputy Garreti said as he slowly rose from his seat.

“Always do.” I looked up from my paperwork and smiled at Rod.  He winked at me as Garreti watched our innocent actions.  Only if he knew how innocent Rod made me not want to be.

The door to the back room closed as Rod sat down. We both watched as Garreti left, anxiously waiting to hear the sound of the lock click, leaving the two of us alone in this portion of the building.

Rod slowly turned in his chair, his hands resting on either side of the armrests. The blond locks of hair fanned across his forehead in a disarrayed swoop, and the blue sparkle in his eyes were all too inviting. 

“We going to talk about what happened last week?” he asked with a devilish grin.

My cheeks heated as I hid behind the caramel color of my hair. I remembered every second of our closeness the previous week. “What’s there to say?” Taking a deep breath, I purposely bit my lip, raising my eyes to meet Rods. “I don’t regret it.”  My hand found the top button of my shirt, slyly releasing it.

Rod tilted his head to the side. “Wouldn’t your father be disappointed?”

As I turned in my chair, I purposely slid my thighs so the black skirt I wore hiked up closer to my hips so a good mid-thigh was showing. “I hardly think an innocent kiss would upset him,” I breathed, “but it’d be better if he didn’t know.”

“I like secrets,” he murmured, as he dipped his head lower, leaning forward in his chair.

“Who doesn’t?” I said seductively back, or at least I thought I was being seductive. 

“Go lock the door,” he commanded, his arms never budging from his armrests. 

On shaking legs I stood, trying to keep my stance semi wide so my skirt wouldn’t fall back into place as I walked by him.  I grinned in triumph, noticing his eyes finding my bare thighs.  I’d picked up some heels with my last paycheck and practiced walking in them the entire weekend so I wouldn’t trip and fall. 

Once I reached the door, I switched the lock, pulling on the handle to make sure it wouldn’t open.  I stood there for a second, my hand finding my blouse again, undoing another button. Along with the heels, I’d had just enough for a push-up bra and matching sets of panties. Hiding the new bag from my mother was surprisingly easy when I had the beat up Toyota to keep it in.

“Come here,” Rod demanded after I locked the door, crooking his finger toward me.  I thought my insides were going to burst.  This was actually happening.  An older, hot as hell man wanted me. I was about to become a woman.

I confidently walked toward him, even though my heart was practically beating out of my chest. “What exactly do you want from me, Jamie?”

I went to speak, but words didn’t come out.  What if he didn’t want what I wanted?  I didn’t know that much about sex, except for the little bit I saw on television and the internet.

“What do you want?” I asked timidly, failing miserably at sounding sexy.

He let out a slight laugh while shaking his head. His hands found my thighs, making my insides clench from his touch. “You’re not wearing any stockings. That would complete the ensemble.”

“Okay.” My voice was soft. “Would you like me to get some?”

Rod’s strong fingers slid their way up my thighs and under my skirt, hiking it up so the back of my cheeky underwear was exposed. “Stockings. Thursday.” His thumbs hooked in my lacy panties, and the forcefulness he used as he tore them down my legs was disarming.

“Don’t you want to see how they look?” I asked as he urged for me to lift my legs.

He smirked at me as he spun them with his finger. “I’ll look at them later. Take off your shirt.”

I stared at him blankly, then quickly removed each button. His eyes followed my fingers as he twirled my underwear. My shirt dropped to the floor, leaving me in a hiked up skirt, push-up black lacy bra, and heels. According to books and the internet, it was every man’s fantasy.

A low growl came from Rod. “If you don’t want me to fuck you, I suggest you leave this office.” His tone had no humor. “If you’re here to tease me, I won’t put up with it. I’m a man, Jamie. I don’t play games with teenage girls. Get on your knees.”

The audible gasp I released didn’t go unnoticed by him. “Last chance, Jamie. Get on your knees, or walk out that door.”

My eyes fluttered as I set my hands on his thighs, making myself comfortable on my knees before him. 

Rod nodded in approval. “It’s time for you to give me some more innocent kisses.”

I lurched forward in my bed.

The nightmares never took long to find me.

My head pounded as I pressed my shaking hands to my forehead, noting the clammy feeling of my skin. The moment those letters were in my hands, my sleep dwindled.  The alcohol from last night didn’t help. And unfortunately, I remembered everything.

Kissing Nathan was a new low for even me. I knew he was gay and didn’t want anything to do with women, but I’d still pursued him. I was an adult now and had no time to waste on making irresponsible decisions that could ruin the relationships I actually cared about. Nathan was gone from my bed, leaving no sign of his take on my aggressiveness.

This is always what happened when those letters came around.  After my first drunken one night stand in college, I’d realized casual sex helped numb me from Rod’s torture. As long as I was in charge, the evening would be blissful. Me on top and in total control, the sexy prospect underneath me and unable to harm me because I had him pinned down.

My first night with a new man had been a powerful experience, giving me all the confidence I’d needed to become a stronger woman who knew what she wanted.  Besides, it felt like I was giving Rod a big fuck you by screwing another man who wasn’t him.

But then those letters started to find me, and I realized that as long as I didn’t stay monogamous with one man, the letters would come farther apart. I didn’t want Rod to reach his breaking point with someone I cared about. I shuddered, remembering how far he’d gone the first time.

Sex still numbed me, but once it was over, thoughts of Rod’s hands caging me weren’t far behind, throwing me into a constant loop of anxiety.   The best I could do to ease the fear of Rod from my bones was to head to work.

Hopefully this hangover would fade, then I’d ask Nathan to forgive me for being a drunken idiot.

My head was still thumping by lunch. I hadn’t eaten anything besides two cups of coffee, but those didn’t really count because they came right back up before the caffeine could take effect. My brother Landon had always scolded me when I wouldn’t take Tylenol and drink a glass of water before I’d pass out after drinking. I always regretted not listening to him. 

You’d think my sexual frustration would have disappeared with a hangover, but not for this girl.

Of course, I could get the job done myself, but having a man’s hand grasping your skin, the way he’d move firmly and aggressively while revving you up to that moment of release … I was hot just thinking about it. Bulky, muscular arms, calloused hands, and strong thighs could easily cure me of my agitation. Mitch’s face popped into my head, and I suddenly felt nauseated again. What was I thinking? He was too much of an idiot, too conceited and egotistical. He’d probably only last a few minutes anyway. 

Growling in frustration, I let my head fall lazily on my desk, running my hands through my hair.
Why was I thinking about him like that?  And why did my vagina just flex?

“Sleeping on the job?  I thought only
I
was allowed to do that?”

I jolted upward, knocking the back of my head on the cabinet. “God damn it, Mitch! What the hell are you doing here?”

When I looked up, it was as though he had appeared from my own sick, filthy dream. He was broad and sexy, his sandy hair short and messy, his cheekbones devastatingly chiseled as his mouth gave me his typical wicked grin.

He chuckled under his breath, clearly amused by my lack of attentiveness. Leaning against the end of my desk with his arms crossed in front of his chest, he studied me. His smirk was so hot, yet so fucking annoying.

“Don’t you have buildings to build?”

“Yes, I do. Don’t you have clients to gain?”

I didn’t like his laughing tone. “I’m above quota.”

Mitch licked his lips. “As of yesterday, I thought you were lacking?”

I raised a brow at him. “According to whom?” Oh my God, did Nathan talk to him?

He looked down and softly laughed, then stood tall. “I believe you were the one who admitted you’d been lacking.”

I crossed my arms and legs tightly, waiting for him to continue. He was the last person I wanted to play the guessing game with, especially while nursing a killer hangover. Then I remembered my conversation with Nathan from yesterday that Mitch had overheard. Of course he was sending this conversation into something inappropriate.

Mitch’s gaze moved to my chest. For a moment I thought maybe I had vomit on my shirt, but when I looked down, I rolled my eyes. The way my arms were crossed helped to boost my cleavage in my red shift dress. Just as I was about to ream him a new one for being such a pig, his stare took my breath away. The look in his eyes was primal and hungry, and I had to squirm in my seat to avoid the tingling in between my legs.

“Could you not?”

Mitch looked back, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. “Maybe if they weren’t so out in the open.” I huffed and shifted my arms, raising my chin to him. “Oh, you don’t have to cover up, I thoroughly enjoy the view.” He had the nerve to wink at me and I became more flustered.
He’s such a dick.

My office phone rang, saving me. “Conklin Architecture, Construction, and Design. This is Jamie, how can I help you?”

“Having a rough morning?” Nathan slyly asked.

My hand found my head as I winced. “That about sums it up. Are you mad at me?”

“For what? Begging me to kiss you on the front porch? Please. I’ve seen your tits and had you grinding against me. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”

His dismissal made me flush slightly, but my lip quirked into a smile. He wasn’t upset or uncomfortable; another reason why I loved him.

“He’s seen your tits?” Mitch’s jaw was hanging down nearly to his chest. Gosh, why did Nathan have to talk so damn loud! My head craned toward Mitch, giving him my best death glare possible.

He held both hands in the air, but the smirk on his face proved he wasn’t really surrendering.

“You didn’t tell me Mitch was there.” Nathan laughed.