Hideous Love: The Story of the Girl Who Wrote Frankenstein (20 page)

should have the right

to send his daughter

to a convent and bid Claire

to write an apology come April.

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SAN GIULIANO

Spring 1821

We rent a new Prini house

at San Guiliano,

with the Williamses

nearby.

Shelley writes a poem

to honor the dying John Keats

called “Adonais.”

I still labor to finish
Valperga
.

As two writers

we ripen in Italy

as does the local flora.

As a couple, though,

we coast apart

as birds fallen

out of their migratory pattern.

I watch the love

between Jane and Edward

and wish to recapture

that exuberance with my Shelley.

I feel that my concern

for our child distances

me from Shelley,

even my writing

now seems to separate us.

I cannot broach

the space between

Shelley and me.

I must find a way

to get my Shelley back.

He wanders

so far from port.

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SAILING

Summer 1821

Shelley dreams of the open seas.

He never fears

his ship will meet

rough waters

or too strong a wind.

And if he survives

the mad winds and waves,

he sees his near

misfortune

as a good omen.

I, too, dream of drifting

away with my love,

but we do not board

the same vessel lately.

I do not wish

to raise a full sail

in high wind

and risk disaster.

I want to cruise

about on days

of calm, float

paper boats together

as we did

when we first

fell in love.

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BYRON AND SHELLEY

August 1821

Shelley goes to visit Byron alone

as Byron bid him come in a letter.

I surmise

that along the way

he stops to see Claire,

who lives now in Livorno

supposedly healing from scrofulo,

a form of tuberculosis.

She has been prescribed

to bathe in the sea.

This upsets me

like a boat tossed

about by a wicked storm.

I have no recourse

and there is little I can do

but wait it out.

Claire does not know

that Shelley travels to visit Byron,

but believes that Shelley

only stops to check in on Allegra

and her well-being.

Shelley finds the four-and-a-half-year-old

spritely, treated kindly

by all of the nuns.

Byron says he has no intention

to leave Allegra indefinitely

in the convent,

which also reassures us,

and should especially

comfort Claire.

Byron remains in Ravenna

for the time being

though he has said

he wants to follow

his mistress Teresa

and her brother and father

out of town.

When Shelley arrives

in Ravenna, Byron tells

him of the terrible gossip

that the Hoppners have spread

like manure about us.

Elise, our former nursemaid,

alleges that Claire is Shelley’s mistress

and that the baby born in Naples

and left with foster parents

is the daughter of Shelley and Claire.

Further, the Hoppners claim

that Shelley tried to get

an abortion for Claire

and when that failed

Shelley tried to have the baby adopted.

Shelley begs me to write to Byron

to clear up these matters.

How could anyone suppose that Shelley

would abandon his own child?

I cry tears to fill an urn.

My face stains with sadness.

Then I take out my quill

and refute point by point

everything that Elise

and the Hoppners said.

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DOUBT

August 1821

When the winds

of a great storm

bend down trees

and uproot my garden,

I wonder if I shall

cower or stand

amidst the ferocity.

When my child,

hot with fever

and cold with tears,

calls out for aid

I wonder if I shall

hinder or help

him to recover.

When my husband

requests that I refute

rumors that

he has been unfaithful,

I wonder if

my pen lies

or tells truth.

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A LETTER FROM MY SHELLEY

Late Summer 1821

My Shelley writes

with a bit of good news,

much needed relief

amidst this landscape of disarray.

He convinces

Byron to come to Pisa

with Teresa. I delight

because Claire shall

certainly want to keep

distance between herself

and the man she so loathes

for sending her daughter

to the convent.

Lastly, Shelley suggests

that Byron and Leigh Hunt

begin a new journal called

the
Liberal
. The Hunts

will now join us in Pisa as well,

and stay with Lord Byron.

My heart expands

like a purse full of pounds.

I will see my dear friends again.

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JUGGLING MISTRESSES

Autumn 1821

Byron does not come

directly to Pisa, but remains

in Ravenna for two months.

His mistress, Teresa,

arrives straightaway

and I am the one

who is to visit her

and make her feel

welcome as the wind

on a stifling summer day

here in Pisa.

Claire is also in Pisa.

Happily we are

getting along like

rhythm and drum

as Shelley and I

entreated Byron to allow Claire

to see her daughter.

Even though we failed

to be granted permission for Claire,

Claire in a mature manner

shows gratitude.

She has been a dear

helping me with little Percy.

The only trouble is

that I must also

attend like a handmaid

to Teresa, Byron’s latest mistress.

Claire kindly assists me in choosing

furniture for our new home

on the Lung’Arno,

and for Byron’s palazzo

across the river.

She never complains

that she does work

for one she so dislikes,

but cloaks her despair

as though it were

a hideous scar.

Teresa worries that Byron

may never arrive,

as I often did with Shelley.

But come November

Byron shows up in grand fashion

complete with a traveling carriage,

mountains of baggage,

dozens of horses,

and a menagerie of exotic animals.

Claire leaves Pisa

on the day that Byron arrives.

She sees his traveling train

on the road and swears

on her daughter’s life,

it will be the last time

they cross paths.

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GATHERING A GROUP OF LIKE-MINDED MALE INDIVIDUALS

Winter 1821–1822

Shelley believes

we can put down

permanent roots in Italy now;

for like ripples in a pond,

a group of expatriates

gathers to form his

community of friends.

With the Williamses,

the Hunts, and Byron

we will be assured good company.

Byron centers the group.

He lives at the Palazzo Lanfranchi,

a cavernous Renaissance building

overlooking the Arno

that frightens his servants

with its creaks and moans

and is said to be haunted by ghosts.

When Edward Williams

meets Byron, the celebrity,

he awes over his grandeur

as one is astounded

by a great blue whale.

Shelley’s cousin, Thomas Medwin,

also arrives to join our group.

Medwin decides he will record

all of Lord Byron’s words

and thoughts. We tease him

for his incessant scribbling

and Byron says more

and more fanciful things

to aid Thomas’s pen.