Highland Master (29 page)

He waited, knowing how quick she was, and she did not disappoint him.

“You mean if I do agree to… if we… that is if you were to…”

“Just answer my question,” he said quietly when she faltered. “Did what you said to Rothesay reflect feelings that you do have for me, or did you lie to him?”

Visibly swallowing, she said, “I think I may regret saying this, but I… I believe that there may be some truth to what I said. Still—”

His heart leaped, startling him with the surge of emotion and more physical responses that coursed through him. “Art sure, lass?” he asked, hearing his voice crack on the words. “Recall before you answer me that you did apologize to me and tell me that you had said it only to make Rothesay leave you alone.”

“Must you contradict even my half-formed thoughts, sir, and use my own words against me when you do?”

He took a step toward her, realized that he had done so
impulsively, and recollected himself to say, “I am not contradicting you. I just need to know what you feel now, to have some idea of how you will react to what must occur next. Sithee, there is one thing that I must be sure is clear to you before we leave this chamber.”

Catriona stared at Fin as a flurry of thoughts danced through her mind, including the last thing that her father had said to her, that Fin would make clear what Shaw’s position was, and that of the Mackintosh.

Abruptly, the truth dawned.

“God-a-mercy, they mean to
make
you marry me!”

“The Mackintosh and your father have discussed it,” he said. “That is to say, they have discussed us and they have discussed Rothesay. Your grandfather has decreed, and Shaw agrees with him, that nowt shall happen to cause ructions between the house of Mackintosh and that of Stewart. So they do suggest—”

“They insist, more like! But I never meant—”

“Whatever you meant, you have wreaked havoc, lass. Try to imagine, if you will, what Rothesay’s reaction will be if he learns that you lied to him to evade his attentions. He is young and gey proud, and such a tale would spread fast.”

Wincing at the image he’d created in her mind, she said, “I do know that others were nearby. Ivor said that most of them would delight in telling the tale.”

He nodded.

With a sigh, knowing that she could not defy them all and knowing, too, that she did not want to defy them if it meant never seeing Fin again, she said, “Very well.
They may give it out that we will marry. Then we’ll see. But there is one thing that you should understand clearly about me before we do this, sir.”

As she spoke, he had moved closer, much too close. He looked into her eyes. “What is it that I must understand?” he asked.

Striving to keep her emotions out of her voice, she said, “I do
not
like it when men assume that I cannot look after myself. Because I can, sir, and I do.”

“Ah, lassie, come here,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I have seen that you can. You are intrepid. By my troth, though, that worries me more than any weakness you may have, because no woman is
always
capable of looking after herself—or any man, either, come to that.”

“It is something, I expect, that you will admit
that
,” she murmured, leaning into him and welcoming his embrace. As she did, she realized something else. “You have not said what
you
think of all this. You must be vexed with me and hate as much as I do that they are forcing you to do this. Also, if what I’ve done puts you in bad odor with Rothesay, whom you do serve…”

She sounded sincerely worried, so when she paused, Fin hugged her and said, “Davy will recover from his displeasure the first time he needs me, lass. And I am not vexed with you or even opposed to your father’s plan for us, although it may complicate my life for a time. Especially with my family.”

She nodded. “I expect it will. I doubt they will like our marrying.”

“Whether they do or not, they seem to be honoring the truce,” he said. “In any event, after we marry, they will want to meet you.” He did not add that his brother Ewan would say that they ought to have met her long before then. What Ewan would say about Fin’s marrying a Mackintosh, Fin did not want to imagine.

Catriona said quietly, “My feelings about leaving Loch an Eilein have not changed, sir. I have seen, with Morag, how hard it is to live amongst strangers even when their clans have never been enemies. We have nearly always been at odds with the Camerons. Also, if you have not seen your kinsmen for some time…”

“Not since the battle at Perth,” he said.

“God-a-mercy, they must think that you died there!”

“I don’t know what they think,” Fin admitted. “I doubt that anyone but Ivor knew who I was when I left the field. So folks in Lochaber likely do believe that all thirty of the Camerons at Perth died there. But I like to think that my family will be glad to learn that I did not and will likewise welcome the woman who so recently kept another rogue from killing me. But if they are not glad about the first—”

“Why would they not be?”

He had not meant to raise that subject. But he said honestly, “The men of my family number amongst those who would think that leaving as I did was cowardly.”

When she did not comment, he experienced a moment of uncertainty. “Look at me, Catriona.” When she did, he said, “Art sure that you do not agree that it was? I would not blame you if you did. I know that we talked about—”

“Ivor believed that you should leave. That is enough for
me, Fin Cameron, just as it was for you. Sakes, no sensible person could believe that a man who outlasted his opponents and twenty-nine of his companions on such a day is a coward.”

Her tone made it impossible to disbelieve her. He began to relax.

“There is another thing, though,” she said. “Since you were able to intervene with Rothesay, I do think you might have stood up to my father as well. Marrying you is a far better fate than marrying Rory Comyn, but if you let them force you—”

“I think you know that at this point I have as little to say about it as you do,” he said. “If you want me to tell them that
you
still oppose the match, I will. But you ken fine that they care more about protecting you than acceding to your wishes.”

“Will you really tell them that I don’t want them to
make
me marry you?”

“I will.”

“They may listen to you,” she said. “Go and do it then. I warrant Father must be waiting for you across the hall with Ivor and James.”

Accordingly, Fin walked to the landing with her and watched until she had vanished around the first curve of the stairs. Then, rapping on the door across the way and hearing only silence, he opened it to an empty room.

“Beg pardon, sir.”

Turning, he saw Tadhg on the stairs below him. “Aye, what is it?”

“The laird be in the inner chamber wi’ the Mackintosh and them. He would see ye there now that her ladyship has gone up for the night. And, sir?”

“What else?”

“I say it be a fine notion that ye be going tae marry our lady Catriona.”

“Sakes, does the whole castle know what goes on here tonight?”

“Nay, sir, but I were at hand when the laird told the Mackintosh it be all set.”

“I’ll go down at once, Tadhg. Prithee, go to my room and tell my squire that I shall be along shortly. He is to wait for me. But do not share this news with him.”

Waiting only for the boy’s assent, Fin went down to the hall.

When Aodán admitted him to the inner chamber, he saw not only Shaw and the Mackintosh but their ladies, Rothesay, and Alex Stewart as well. Donald had apparently retired for the night, and neither James nor Ivor was there, nor Morag.

Fin wished Ivor were there. Without him, he felt alone against many again.

Rothesay grinned at him, clearly still enjoying himself, and Alex also looked amused. Shaw looked as stern as usual, the Mackintosh quietly pleased.

Catching the lady Ealga’s eye, Fin received a warm smile.

Lady Annis eyed him more measuringly.

“Is all well above?” Shaw asked him.

With Rothesay and Alex there, Fin said only, “Aye, sir,” and hoped Shaw would know that he preferred to say no more than that in their presence.

Rothesay said, “How could it be otherwise? ’Tis grand to be so delightfully amused as we have been this evening. We must proceed at once with the wedding.”

Catriona reached her landing to find Boreas lying at her door, his small gray shadow curled tightly atop him. The dog blinked at her, moving only its tail. The kitten raised its head and greeted her with a plaintive “mew.”

Opening the door to let them in, she felt her mood lighten and realized that her last exchange with Fin had still weighed on her mind. She felt as if she had cast him into the briars again. But he did enjoy debating anything with her, so it had seemed reasonable that he might persuade Shaw and her grandfather that the wedding need not take place. Not yet. Perhaps later… someday.

She sighed. The fact was that she did want to marry him, very much.

Just thinking of his touch was enough to make her feel it again through every fiber of her body. When he held her, she felt as if she belonged in his arms.

She could recall no one since childhood who had comforted her so tenderly. Perversely, that thought made her wonder if her insistence that she could take care of herself had made him think her childish. He had called her “lassie” then, had he not?

Pondering that thought while Boreas and his kitten resettled themselves beside the bed, she realized that Ailvie ought to be there. But the washstand ewer was empty, so perhaps it was not as late as she had thought.

Moving to look out the window, she tried to decide if she would like being married. The thought of leaving home still chilled her to the bone. And Fin had not ever responded when she’d told him that she had not changed her mind about that.

Perhaps he understood her feelings and would live at Rothiemurchus. If so, when he had to follow Rothesay into battle or elsewhere, she could stay with her family instead of with enemy strangers whom he must barely know himself by now.

She was still pondering so when the latch clicked and the door opened.

Assuming that it must be Ailvie, she said without turning, “I wondered if I should have to send for you. Is it not growing late?”

The door shut, and the last voice she expected to hear then said, “Ailvie is not here because I sent my woman to tell her not to come until I send for her.”