Highlander Unmasked (26 page)

“I have my suspicions about your true purpose in being at court,” Jamie said. “Suspicions that I’m sure my cousin Argyll would find interesting. Of course, they are only suspicions, and as such I will be happy to keep to myself.”

Alex smiled, though there was no amusement in the expression, only a warning. “You are more like your cousin than I realized. However, your suspicions and your attempts at blackmail are misplaced.”

“Then you have no intention of making Meg an offer of marriage?”

There it was. The question that rose like a rock wall in the path of his destiny. It was the question that had come to haunt him.

Many times this past week he’d been tempted to ask her to wait for him, but he knew he could not. Hell, he could very well be dead in a few weeks. At best, he would be considered a traitor. That was how most Lowlanders would see him for aiding his kin, the MacLeods of Lewis, in their fight to repel colonization by the Fife Adventurers. Alex wasn’t even sure that Meg wouldn’t agree. She had argued for a compromise with King James with respect to his Highland policies; she seemed unlikely to support armed warfare against the king’s men. A man who could soon be put to the horn was hardly the emblematic negotiator that Meg had in mind for a husband to better her clan’s position with the king.

Moreover, Alex would not risk placing her in more danger. The threat from Thomas Mackinnon had only just ended. If it were discovered that he was helping the MacLeods on Lewis, a connection with him would be dangerous. Very dangerous. His enemies could decide to use Meg to get to him.

When he did leave Edinburgh, Alex would make sure that Meg’s loyalty to King James was not in question because of a connection with him. It would be left to her father to determine how vocal his clan’s involvement with the effort to repel the Fife Adventurers would be. The Mackinnon chief would decide what to tell his daughter. Alex would not do so for him.

But Alex acknowledged that his reasons went even deeper. He could not be the leader she needed for her clan, not until he put his past behind him. The demons of second-guessing haunted him unrelentingly. If he could only go back and change the moment when he’d refused to surrender to Dougal, his cousins might still be alive. But he’d defied Dougal, even when the battle was lost. He’d been filled with all the arrogance of youth, the sense of invincibility. And his recklessness had cost his cousins their lives.

Now he had the opportunity to make retribution. What kind of man would he be to turn his back on his kin, on those he’d let down before?

Alex looked Jamie straight in the face. “I have no intention of making Mistress Mackinnon an offer of marriage.” He kept the bitter disappointment from his voice but was unable to prevent the uncomfortable tightening in his chest.

“Good.” Realizing that he’d perhaps come dangerously close to pressing his luck, Jamie retreated from Alex and made his way back to Meg’s side. Alex watched him with barely repressed fury.

Just then, as if Meg knew the direction of his thoughts, their eyes met. He felt a strange tightening that started in his core and spread through his entire body.

He knew she’d been watching him all week, confused by his sudden withdrawal. He didn’t want to hurt her. But he could not give her what she most needed. It was better that she realize it now.

Turning away, he broke the connection. Every day—nay, every minute in her presence was a chink in his armor of resolve. Soon there would be nothing left.

He only had to hold out a few more days. But it was damn difficult, when every fiber of his being craved the one thing he couldn’t have.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Dougal slip out of the room. It was just the opportunity Alex had been waiting for. Any excuse to get the hell out of here before he did something he regretted, like storm over there, pull her into his arms, and kiss her until everyone in the room knew that she was his.

He tracked Dougal through the cool palace corridors in a direction that Alex quickly recognized. His instincts heightened as he realized this might be it, the proof he’d been waiting for. Curbing his excitement, he concentrated on not getting caught. Dougal checked behind him a number of times, almost as if he expected someone to be following him, but Alex anticipated his moves and quickly ducked out of sight. As he became even more certain of Dougal’s destination, he was able to drop farther and farther back, minimizing his chances of discovery.

When Dougal entered the same room where Alex had previously spied Seton and Balmerino, Alex knew his instincts had proved correct. The MacDonalds were double-crossing Rory and the other Highland chiefs. Cautiously, Alex approached the room, sliding into the same uncomfortable niche he’d hidden in before.

“Glad you could join us, MacDonald.”

Alex just caught the end of Lord Chancellor Seton’s greeting, but he’d heard enough to discern the sarcasm in his voice.

“Gentlemen,” Dougal said. “I apologize for the delay, Lord Chancellor, but it could not be helped. I wanted to make sure my departure from the hall was not remarked upon.”

“Do you have reason to be concerned?” Seton asked suspiciously. His voice sharpened. “Have you been compromised?”

“No, my lord,” Dougal replied hastily. “I just thought it prudent to keep an eye on the Highlanders that are here at court, especially Alex MacLeod. I don’t trust the man.”

“I’m not interested in your petty clan feuds, MacDonald,” Seton said. “I leave the barbarians to you. Do whatever you think is necessary. If the man is a threat, remove him. As I’ve just been telling the others, the king will not tolerate another failure. All contingencies must be accounted for. This time, the Fife Adventurers will colonize the Isle of Lewis.”

Alex realized Dougal had just been given license to kill him. He wondered how long he would take to use it.

“I’ve already begun going over the preliminaries,” Seton continued. “I’ve received final confirmation that the colonists will be ready to depart as scheduled. What have you learned of the resistance, MacDonald?”

“We have nothing new to report,” Alex heard Dougal respond. “The chiefs have met to discuss the possibility of another attempt to colonize the Isle of Lewis, but there is no indication that they believe anything is imminent. Resistance, if any, is still much in the planning stages.”

Alex knew he shouldn’t be surprised, but even faced with such indisputable evidence—hearing it straight from Dougal’s mouth—he still couldn’t believe the MacDonalds’ propensity for treachery. They had sworn allegiance to the other chiefs to help fight the king’s efforts to plunder the Isles, yet here they were—through Dougal—betraying them all.

No doubt MacDonald expected to insinuate himself into the good graces of King James by feeding Seton information about the Highlanders’ planned attacks. Rory would be furious to learn of their latest treachery.

But Lord Chancellor Seton’s next words pushed aside all thoughts of the MacDonalds. “I want to be informed as soon as you learn of the Highlanders’ plans. Any resistance to the Fife Adventurers’ colonization will be crushed. King James has been clear in his directives. Our men have been instructed to use whatever force they deem necessary to root out the barbarians on Lewis”—he paused—“including slaughter or mutilation to discourage further resistance. The same will go for their supporters.”

Alex couldn’t believe his ears.
Slaughter
and
mutilation
? Seton’s words sent a chill of foreboding straight to his bones. At that moment, Alex realized the full extent of King James’s humiliation from the failed first attempt to colonize Lewis by the original Fife Adventurers. No doubt the mockery of his new English subjects had influenced this savagery. The English claimed that a king who could not contain a handful of barbarians was not fit to rule England. King James was taking no chances with this second attempt.

By empowering the Lowland Fife Adventurers with the power to exterminate the inhabitants of Lewis, the king had just sanctioned the mass murder of his own people.

Even the black-hearted Dougal sounded somewhat taken aback. “But, my lord, when the Highlanders realize what is happening, they will have no choice but to resist.”

That’s what they are hoping, you traitorous fool.
This was no friendly colonization, it was a bloody conquest and the desecration of a people. Their people.

Seton’s snort of laughter curdled Alex’s blood. “Yes, they will, won’t they?” Alex could almost envision Seton’s smirk. “It will all be quite tragic.”

Alex pressed his back up against the stone wall, trying to cool his rage. He took a deep breath. Resolve at last cleared the confusing cobwebs from his mind.

He had to see his mission through. He had temporarily lost his focus, lost sight of all that he’d worked for. Nearly undone by one wee wood nymph. But now that he was faced with such stunning evidence of viciousness promulgated by his own king, his duty was clear. Desire must come second.

There was really only one thing left to do. Fight.

He would leave for the Isle of Lewis as soon as Rory arrived.

And not look back at what might have been.

Meg watched Alex leave the hall, feeling the familiar curdle of disappointment. He’d barely spoken to her. Each night she hoped it would be different, that tonight would be the night that he changed his mind. But tonight was no different from the rest.

The past week had been the hardest of her life. Forced to maintain an air of conviviality when inside her heart was breaking. Every moment of that day in the forest was branded on her consciousness. He’d awakened her passion and her heart. She wanted him to kiss her again, to touch her, to make her his in truth. And she knew he remembered it, too.

He held himself apart, but his eyes watched her every move with a possessive heat that sent a shiver of awareness down her spine. She sensed the anger and frustration building in him, but he made no move toward her. It didn’t make sense. He wanted her, but something was keeping him from acting on those feelings. If only he would trust her enough to tell her why.

At the same time, she was almost scared to find out what it was. If what Thomas Mackinnon said was true, Alex had been fighting with the MacGregors. Alex was an outlaw—although she supposed it depended on one’s perspective. It troubled her, but Meg knew that if he’d become an outlaw, he’d done so for a higher purpose. But she still didn’t know what it meant as to his suitability as a husband and as a leader of her clan.

Had she given her heart to the wrong man?

Even worse, had she given her heart to a man who did not love her in return? Unrequited love, the fodder of poets and playwrights from time immemorial. And it had happened to her, to a woman who’d sworn never to fall prey to the dictates of her heart. Meg, the cold, hard pragmatist, had fallen in love.

She’d never dreamed that her heart could be at risk, but it might not matter. She could not lose sight of her purpose in being here. She needed to find a husband, and time was running out. What was she going to do? She would never consider Dougal MacDonald’s proposal—not after what she’d learned of him. Could she accept Jamie knowing that she didn’t love him? That she loved another?

If only she could discover what it was that was preventing Alex from stepping forward. Then he would be free to marry her.

“Is everything all right, Meg?” Elizabeth asked. “You seem distracted.”

Meg managed a feeble smile. “I’m fine, just a bit tired,” she said.
My heart is breaking.
“I think I’ll fetch us a couple of glasses of claret.”

“I can go with you,” Jamie offered.

But Meg had already moved away. “I’ll be right back.” She wanted a moment alone to clear her head. She knew her mother, Elizabeth, and Jamie were all concerned about her after what had happened.

It was still hard to believe that someone, a trusted captain of her father’s guard no less, had been trying to kill her. Her mother had fainted upon finding out what her daughter had narrowly avoided and later sent a letter to Meg’s father with the news of Thomas Mackinnon’s treachery.

Meg shuddered to think what would have happened without Alex there. Twice now, he’d ridden to her rescue. The attacks on her life had made Meg realize that no matter how hard she tried, there were some things she simply could not do. Defending herself against half a score of warriors bent on killing her was one. But she also realized how ill equipped she’d been to recognize the danger. With his experience, Alex had identified the possible threat well before Meg even realized there was one. An invaluable skill for a Highland chief—or rather a trusted adviser to a Highland chief.

For a woman who’d been dependent upon herself for so long, it was startling to realize how much she liked the idea of Alex protecting her.

Alex seemed to have an acute awareness of everything around him. The prototypical warrior. Self-contained. Self-possessed. He didn’t need anyone.

She felt a lump in her chest.
He didn’t need me.

As much as she’d grown dependent on him, it had become patently obvious that the reverse was not true.

She made her way toward the refreshment table but was forced to stop a few times along the way to exchange greetings. She’d finally reached her destination only to duck behind a column at the last minute to avoid Bianca Gordon. She was the last person Meg wanted to see right now.

Bianca had made it well-known this last week that if Alex was looking for a wife, he need look no further than the Marquess of Huntly’s very willing daughter. Meg frowned, recalling that Alex had been playing cards with Huntly tonight. It seemed an odd pairing. And not the first time Meg had noticed Alex with some unusual companions. It was probably nothing. Alex would certainly never be interested in Bianca Gordon. Although excessively unpleasant, Bianca was undeniably beautiful. But Meg recognized the impatience hiding beneath Alex’s smile whenever he was waylaid by Bianca. Bianca must have sensed it, too, because she took whatever opportunity she could to question Meg about her relationship with Alex.

Questions that Meg couldn’t answer, even if she wanted to.