Highlander's Bride (Heart of the Highlander Series Book 1) (26 page)

**

As Katherine cried out, Alexander finally allowed
himself to let go. His wall of indifference and need for control crumbled and
smashed to earth. His mind and body blazed with the sensations she alone
brought him.

Suddenly, he was there. His overpowering release
sent his emotions soaring into a whirling vortex swallowing him completely; his
mind, his body, his soul. Gasping for air, he spilled his seed and collapsed
beside her.

Time and place returned slowly. They floated back
from the furthest reaches of heaven and lay together, silent, but for their
shared breaths. Eventually, their heartbeats slowed and allowed them to regain
their senses.

Alexander whispered to her as they lay together in
each other's arms. "Katherine, my Kat, my love. Never have I felt that way
before. You have carried me to heaven with you, wrapped in your angel's
wings."

Breathing a blissful sigh of contentment, he pulled
her into the shelter of his arms and buried his face in her golden hair. Weary,
they snuggled together and fell asleep in each other's arms.

**

"My lord?"

The distant voice calling through the chamber door
awoke Katherine. She blinked and stretched, bumping into Alexander. He lay
awake beside her, fingering a lock of her hair.

She felt heat warm her face as he smiled and spoke
in a low husky tone. "Good morrow, my love. 'Twould seem my chambermaid
seeks entrance. Shall I let her in?"

 "No! I mean, can you not ask what she wants?
I must return to my chamber and dress before I face the serv… that is, before I
begin my day."

He grinned and kissed her forehead. "Ah Kat,
you have naught to fash over. What happened between us last night was as it
should be and none here will think otherwise." Winking, he added,
"Perhaps we should let them become accustomed to it by spending the rest
of the day in bed."

Katherine's eyes grew large and he kissed her with
a smile.

The servant's voice called out again.

Alexander sighed as he looked toward the door.
"Och, someone has no romance in their soul." He rose, pulled on a
pair of breeks and walked to the door. Opening it just a few inches, he asked,
"What reason have you to wake me? 'Tis early yet."

"I beg yer pardon, m'lord, but ye have a
visitor. Laird Drummond awaits ye in the great hall."

Damn. "Tell him I will join him
shortly."

"Aye, my lord."

Shutting the door, he turned back to his bed.
Katherine had already risen and pulled her bed gown over her shoulders.
Sighing, he walked over and tied the laces at her neck. "I'm sorry, lass.
'Twould seem we'll have to wait to enjoy such privacy again." He pulled on
his shirt, hose and boots and added, "I'll go greet Davey. Please join us
after you've dressed." He brushed a lock of hair back from her forehead.
"Take pity on my heart and do not tarry long."

Cupping her face in his hands, he whispered,
"Remember this," and kissed her thoroughly. Then, with a wink and a
smile, he left.

She grasped the bedpost to steady herself. With
trembling fingers, she touched her lips. A smile tipped up the corners of her
love-swollen mouth. Sighing happily, she hurried to her chamber.

By the time she joined Alexander and Laird
Drummond they had finished breaking their fast and were in the middle of an
animated conversation.

"I tell you," Drummond said, "Ne'er
have I seen so fleet an animal before. I am on my way now to purchase a
breeding mare. Come next year I hope to have another such fine mount in my
stables."

He looked up as she entered. "Ah Lady
Katherine, 'tis good to see you again. You look lovely this morn. I have been
telling your husband of a new stallion I acquired. He tells me you are quite an
accomplished horsewoman. Perhaps you would like to ride with us to put it
through its paces?"

A warm glow settled in her stomach at the mention
of Alexander's praise. She glanced at him lovingly before adjusting her gaze to
their visitor. "Thank you. I would like that. Did you wish to leave
now?"

Alexander pulled out her chair for her and shook
his head. "No, love, we will wait until you have had time to eat."

She smiled up at him and her face grew hot
remembering their passionate lovemaking. Suddenly food was far from her mind.

 "Truly, I'm not hungry and 'tis too lovely a
day to waste indoors. If you wish, I will have cook put together a basket of
food. We can take it with us and eat our midday meal outdoors."

The two men nodded their approval and sat back
sipping their watered wine as Katherine headed for the kitchen.

**

The afternoon sun shown down as the three riders
approached a small glen. Stopping at the base of a grassy knoll, Laird Drummond
dismounted and set the large basket of food on the ground.

Alexander helped Katherine from her mare.

Her laughter trilled across the area as he swung
her up into his arms and whirled her about.

          Carrying her over beside his friend,
Alexander sat on the ground with her still cradled in his arms.

Drummond chuckled. "Och, I ne'er thought to
see you two so smitten with each other. But 'tis glad I am to see it and to
know you have forgiven my foolish friend for his misgivings, my lady."

Katherine smiled at him. "Ah, my lord, we
both made mistakes, but making amends have made our love stronger."

Leaning against Alexander's massive chest, she
sent him a radiant smile, reached for one of his hands and lifted it to her
cheek.

Laird Drummond shook his head as if surprised.
"Still, I dinna think I would have believed it if I hadna seen it with my
own eyes. Since he sent for me to rescue him from the wedding with that hoax, I
wouldna have thought—"

"Davey, no!" Alexander's urgent voice
cut across his friend's words.

Katherine felt tension ripple through Alexander's
embrace. Stunned, she sat up and fought for breath. Surely she hadn't heard
right. Sweet Mary, no. Please, no!

Drummond's words pierced her heart like an arrow.
She shot a frantic look at the man who held her heart and soul as easily as he
did her body. "What? Alexander, tell me you didn't do that!"

The guilt in his gaze confirmed her fear without a
word being spoken.

Drummond's voice floated in from a hazy distance.
"God's blood, Alex. I'm sorry! I thought you had told her."

She shoved Alexander's hands away and struggled to
her feet, gasping to draw enough air into her tortured body to speak. Pain
seared her soul and shattered her heart. "How could you do such a thing?
And then you tell me you love me! How many other lies have you sworn to
me?"

For a moment, no one moved. Even the air seemed to
still. She watched his features harden at her words, but he said nothing. Hot
salty tears coursed down her cheeks and ran into her mouth, mingling with the
bitter taste of blood where she'd bit her lip.

With trembling fingers, she dashed the tears away.
Her rings glistened from the moisture; evidence of her heartbreak. Never again
would she let her foolish heart believe his lies! Yanking the false symbols of
love from her finger, she threw them at him and ran to her horse.

He caught up to her before she could mount. His
hands reached out as if in supplication. "Katherine, if you'll let me
explain—"

She struck his outstretched arm and backed up
toward her horse. "No! Leave me be. Have you not hurt me enough?"

As he tried to wrap his hands about her waist, she
struggled, causing the horse to rear up dangerously close.

His voice called out above the whinny of her
startled mare. "For God's sake, come away from your horse before you're
harmed."

"Harmed? Nothing in this world could ever
hurt me as much as you have."

He froze. A look of emptiness settled in his eyes
and his lips came together in a hard thin line. When he spoke, his voice was
gruff. "If you are intent on riding, at least let me help you to mount
safely."

She shuddered, swallowed against the burning lump
in her throat and shook her head. She couldn't bear his touch now. Ice formed
in her veins in an attempt to block the pain in her heart as she stared at him
through her tears. "No. Allow me some dignity. If you ever cared anything
for me, let me leave now without your touch." She bit her lip harder, and
forced back a sob as he bowed his head and backed away. Silently, she swung up
into the saddle. For a moment, she looked at him through her tears, watching
the sunlight gleam on the small silver lies he held in his hand. Then she
turned her horse toward home. No, not home, Ironwood. 'Twas nothing left to
make it a home.

Chapter Nineteen

Alexander would have given everything he owned to
erase the look he saw on her face. But 'twas too late. He let her go.

He couldn't hold her captive while he tried to
explain. Cursing himself for the pain he'd brought her, he mounted Tursachan
and turned to follow his wife.

Drummond rode up beside him. "Alex, I'm
sorry. On my honor, I ne'er meant to cause this. I hope in time you will
forgive me and our friendship can continue."

Alexander gazed at Katherine's retreating figure.
He nodded silently, but refused to look at his friend, even as he rode away. An
overwhelming urge to rage at Davey flared through him. He drew a ragged breath
then shook his head. No, to do so, would only add to his shame. He should have
found the courage to confess to Katherine long ago.

Guilt lay heavy upon him, like a millstone about
his heart. The blame was his. His selfish actions had destroyed the only love
he would ever know. He stared down at her wedding and betrothal rings and a
feeling of desolation left him shaking. God, he must do something. He couldn't
give up. He'd go after her. Give her time and then explain.

Aye, whatever it took, he would win back her trust
and her love. For without her, he had nothing.

**

He paced across his room once more and glanced out
the window. It had been hours since they'd returned in silence. Katherine had
gone to her chamber without even a backward glance. How could he win back her
trust if she wouldn't even look at him? His patience battled for control with
little success. The longer he put it off, the worse it would be, but if he
rushed her now, she might never listen.

And she must listen. He must have a chance to
explain, to apologize.

Finally, he could stand the delay no longer. He
strode to her chamber, knocked on the door and waited. When she didn't respond,
he called softly to her through the closed entrance. "Katherine, I swear,
I never meant to hurt you. There were reasons… Please, I beg you to forgive me.
I vow I will spend the rest of my days making things right between us, if you will
give me the chance."

He grasped the door handle and waited, hoping. The
sounds of her heart wrenching sobs were his answer. He dropped his arms to his
sides then turned and walked slowly back to his chamber.

**

The early morning light drifted across the land as
Alexander rode alone among the hills surrounding the valley of Ironwood. His
sleepless night and pent up frustration left him weary. When Tursachan pulled
at the reins as if to lead the way, he let the stallion have his head.

Within a few minutes, they arrived at a small burn
at the foot of a grassy hillside, much like the one where he had found
Katherine napping before they were wed.

As his horse ambled up to the water's edge and
began to drink, he dismounted and walked over to sit beneath the shade of a
nearby tree. A small patch of pink wild flowers bloomed near him. He idly
picked a few then sat staring at them in silence.

A mild breeze fluttered the edge of his tartan. He
remembered the day he'd walked in the garden with Katherine and his plaid had
caught on a bush. He'd resented his father ordering him to seek her company,
and even though their conversation had been pleasant, he'd not truly given
Katherine a chance to get close to him, to his heart.

 So much had happened since his betrothal. He'd
made so many stupid mistakes. Frowning, he rubbed the side of his head. Och,
but it ached. If only Katherine were there to soothe his pain.

Mentally, he cursed himself. You bloody fool. If
you hadn't treated her so poorly, she would be with you.

Alexander looked down at the blossoms in his hand
then glanced toward the burn where others grew in abundance. With a glimmer of
hope, he walked to the water's edge. He gathered more flowers just as any young
lad would do to give to his sweetheart. Katherine loved flowers. She'd told him
so herself. He would take these to her and speak with her. Somehow he'd
convince her of his feelings.

Hurrying back to Castle Ironwood, he once again
waited with longing for her to answer his knock. Hope swelled in his heart as
the door swung open. He gripped the fragile stems in eagerness.

No golden glow of hair or crystal blue eyes met
his gaze, 'twas only her maid. Disappointment hit him like an opponent's blow.

"Oh, uh… good day, lass. Please give these
flowers to Lady Katherine. Tell her I wish to have her join me to break my
fast. I will await her in the great hall."

Over the rim of his water goblet, a few minutes
later, he saw the maid approach the dais. Hope sputtered and died like a candle
flame drowning in a pool of wax.

"M'lord, yer lady says she… she doesna wish
to eat and desires to remain in her chamber."

Nodding silently, he stared down at his plate as the
girl hurried away. A rumble from his stomach reminded him 'twas past time to
eat. He bit into a bannock, but it was dry and tasteless. Even the wine held no
interest for him. Tossing the half-eaten piece of bread to one of the hounds
near the dais, he stomped out of the great hall toward the tiltyard.

**

The noise of shouting and battle training
reverberated in Katherine's head until the pounding made it nigh impossible to
think. It had been five days now since she'd learned the truth. It felt like an
eternity in her lonely room without Alexander's warmth, his smile, his… No, she
wouldn't think of him. He had deceived her in every way.

These last evenings alone had shown her she could
exist nicely without him. Well… at least she had survived the time. Truth be
told, she doubted she would ever again know a moment's joy, still wanting him
as she did. But how long could her foolish heart keep hoping it wasn't so? He
had admitted it. And yet, she longed for the brief happiness they'd shared.

"M'lady?"

She looked at the young maid who stood just inside
the room. "Aye, what is it?"

The girl looked quickly over her shoulder and back
again. "Ye bid me tell ye when the laird left so ye could go to the solar.
I saw him ride out but moments ago. Do ye wish to have me bring yer meal
there?"

"No. But tell me immediately when you see my
husband return so I may go back to my chamber. I don't wish to be
disturbed."

 The sunlight streaming through the solar window
did nothing to lift her spirits. Without Alexander, life was empty. Nothing
interested her; not food, not the beauty of the solar, nothing.

She was bereft. Naught but a floating spirit, dead
to the world and those around her. Only at night, when she tried to sleep alone
in her cold narrow bed, did she feel the painful proof of her existence. No
dead spirit would ache from loneliness like this.

Wiping another tear from her face, she slumped in
her chair beside the fireplace and gazed into the flames. Perhaps if she stared
long enough, she could forget everything. Forget how his green eyes sparkled as
he laughed at the antics of her kitten. Forget the way her heart soared at the
sound of his deep voice calling out her name. Forget how she felt when he
touched her. Lord help her, she loved him still but she couldn't trust him.

"Quick, m'lady, the laird approaches."

"Aye, thank you."

The glimpse of his face at the far end of the corridor
started her yearning again. 'Twas all she could do to force her steps toward
her lonely room. The pull on her heart was stronger than lodestone to iron.
Aye, and how many times had his word proved false? Her heart had been shattered
twice. She would never let it happen again.

His deep voice called out behind her.
"Katherine! Wait, lass!"

No, she mustn't listen.

"Katherine!"

Be quick. Don't look back.

"Stop!"

If he got close enough to touch her, she would
never be able to resist him. Make haste! Reaching her room, her trembling hands
fumbled with the latch. Dashing inside, she closed the heavy door and leaned
against it for support, her breath coming in short gasps.

That was too close. Sweet Heaven, she couldn't go
on this way. She must leave. Better to depart than to remain here, watching him
from a distance and longing for him. Perhaps one day, somewhere else, her
heartache would ease. Aye, she must leave.

Shadows crept across her room as the day faded to
gloaming. The tray of untouched food still sat where the maid had left it.
Katherine smelled the rich scent of fresh bread and the smoky aroma of grilled
meat. They mingled with the fading fragrance of wildflowers; supposed evidence
of Alexander's affection. She shouldn't have kept them, but she couldn't force
herself to throw them out.

A motion caught her eye. She watched as her kitten
licked the last drop of milk from its dish. It scampered over to its basket
beside the warm fire and curled up contentedly with a loud purr.

"Ah, little one, if only food and warmth could
content me so. You don't know how lucky you are not to love someone who will
deceive you at every turn."

**

The morning sun filtered through the window and
warmed Katherine's face as she gazed at the scene below.

He was in the tiltyard practicing, just as he had
every morn for the last sennight. And just as the day before, she swore to
herself she wouldn't watch him, wouldn't long for him. She might as well vow
never to breathe again. Her love for him was as much a part of her as breath
itself. 

She could see the bulge and ripple of his arm
muscles as he swung at the quintain. She had found heaven in those arms once.
And his face. How she wanted to caress his cheek and coax a smile to his lips.
Even from so far away, she could see the frown that settled like a bitter mask
over his handsome features. Did he think of her? Was he angry that she had
refused to dine with him again? She sighed and watched him move swift and sure
against the wooden foe.

He didn't care as he claimed. Did he? No. 'Twas
obvious only his pride suffered. If he truly loved her, he would have stormed
her chamber days ago. He wouldn't have accepted her isolation from him no
matter what she said.

She darted a look at the heavy iron studded door
to her chamber. The stout bar to secure it from entry leaned against the wall.
Just as it had since the day she had learned the truth. She'd told Alexander
she wanted to be left alone, but even now, she couldn't bear the thought of
locking him out.

He swore he loved her. Well, he'd shown her how
much. No mere door should have kept them apart. Not if he truly loved her.
Swallowing against the tight lump in her throat, she turned back to the window.

Almost as if he could feel her watching him,
Alexander lowered his broadsword and slowly lifted his gaze.

Sweet Mary, those beautiful eyes. Would she never
be able to look at him without her heart skipping a beat?

His expression seemed to cry out in a silent plea
for forgiveness.

Her heart pounded in her throat and she drew a
quick breath. She couldn't bear for him to look at her so. Stepping back into
the shadow of the room, she dared another look. He was still there, watching.

Time stopped. The silence dragged on as she
waited, hoping and praying. Tears blurred her vision and ran down her cheeks.
As she wiped at them, she listened. Would he call out to her? Should she—  

The clang of his sword gave her answer. Trembling,
she looked at his broad back and watched him fight the quintain as if the devil
rode him.  

No. He wouldn't seek her. He was done with her.
There was no use waiting any longer.

**

Alexander stirred up the embers in the fireplace in
his chamber and added several logs. When the flames rose and crackled, he
returned to his desk. Ah, that's better. Now he could concentrate. Aye, 'twas
only the chill that had made him pace about so.

The castle accounts still lay spread out before
him, untouched. Damn, 'twas the last thing he wanted to be doing. When he'd
seen Katherine watching him train this morn, he'd hoped she would smile or call
out to him. But she'd turned away when their eyes met, as if she could no
longer abide his gaze.

Perhaps he should give up. Maybe she didn't feel
the love for him that he had thought. Deeply. Achingly. As he did for her. What
a damn fool he'd been to lose her. And still he played the fool. But only for
believing he could make her understand how he felt. She wanted naught from him.
That much was clear.

For days now, she had refused his requests for her
company. And the nights were torture. Each night he tossed and turned in his
bed, yearning for her warm body writhing beneath him. He feared he would go mad
knowing she was so close yet not be able to touch her.

But there was something worse than mere
unfulfilled lust. He found himself wishing fervently just for the chance to
talk with her. See her smile. Hear her laugh. Always, she sent some excuse to
decline his companionship.

He closed his eyes, trying to block out the
painful ache in his head. His heart waged its daily battle between anger and
guilt for her turning away from him. The long days and nights apart had shown
him how very much he did care. But how could he convince her when she wouldn't
even speak with him? 'Twas all he could do not to break down her door. How
could he mend their love if he couldn't get near her?

The pounding in his brain made him wince. He
clenched his throbbing head in his hands, but the pounding only got louder.

Suddenly his door swung open and Malcolm strode
in, frowning. "Och, mon, have ye gone deaf? I have been knockin' o'er
long."

Alexander quickly dropped his hands to the ledger
and looked up. "Ah, Malcolm, did you knock? I was engrossed in the
accounts. What do you want?"

The older man looked from him to the open book and
slowly back to him again.