Highlander's Ransom (14 page)

Mesmerized by the intensity in his eyes as they bore
into her, she leaned forward and raised up onto her toes, letting her lips
brush the track that the tear had left on his cheek. He shuddered at the
delicate contact. As she drew away, she saw that his eyes were now filled with
a rawness and hunger that made her gasp. Before she could exhale, though, his
lips came crashing down on hers.

Their first kiss had been light, soft. Their second
had been exploratory. This one was pure desire. His tongue plunged into her
mouth, demanding, hot, and urgent. She met him with an intensity she didn’t
know she possessed. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, pulling him even closer
as her tongue moved with his. His invasion of her mouth sent waves of heat
radiating through her, and the warmth seemed to pool especially between her
legs. One of his hands pressed against her lower back, plastering her body against
his, while the other went from her waist to the underside of her breast. He
lingered there for a moment, seeming to make sure even through the fog of
passion that she would allow the touch. When she made a noise of longing in the
back of her throat, his large hand slowly moved upward to settle over her
breast. The touch made her tingle even through her clothes, and she
instinctively arched her back so that the contact was fuller. At that, he
groaned, and she could feel the hard length of his manhood pressing against her
belly.

He began moving his thumb over the peak of her breast,
which shot fiery sensation through her, and she gasped against his mouth. He
switched his hands so that he could cup her other breast and give it the same
caress. She could feel dampness between her legs, and an ache was building
there but she didn’t know how to relieve it. She pressed her hips into his,
longing for something she didn’t fully understand. Her body was responding all
on its own, suffused with heat, climbing toward something, hungry for more.

Suddenly he tore his mouth away from hers and held her
at arm’s length. She was so shocked at the loss of their contact that she stood
there, mouth open and eyes wide, for a long second.

“We shouldn’t do this. Not here. Not now.” His voice
came out gravelly with passion. He wiped a hand over his face then through his
hair, trying to clear his thoughts. Damn, but he had nearly thrown her on the
ground and tossed her skirts up right on the spot. His desire for her startled him.
Aye, it had been a while since he had been with a lass, but he couldn’t
remember a time when anyone had ever moved him so much, had ever made him so
hot and hungry before. He wanted her—badly, he admitted to himself.

What was it about her that was driving him half mad?
At the moment, it was her swollen lower lip, still damp from his kiss, which
she was now working gently with her teeth. Aye, she was one of the most
beautiful women he had ever seen—
the
most beautiful, he corrected
himself, but not just because of the perfect feel of the weight of her breasts
in his hands, her trim waist, the womanly yet delicate curve of her hips and
bottom, those blue-grey eyes a man could drown in, or the tumble of
rose-scented tresses that always seemed to be coming loose from her braid.

He realized with a jolt that despite his desire to
taste, to touch, to explore every inch of this goddess in front of him, it went
deeper than lust. He wanted to know more about her, wanted to learn about the
thoughts that raced behind those eyes. How could she be so naïve to the world,
and yet so brave to stand up to him, to fight back against Warren, to comfort
the child who had lost his father?

She was innocent when it came to men, though, he
reminded himself. He couldn’t lose control of himself like that again.
Otherwise, the consequences would be irreversible. He had to stop this. He had
to remember his mission. She wasn’t his to take, or to keep.

Shame, embarrassment, and a sense of rejection washed
over Alwin as he silently raked her with his eyes, and unreadable mask on his
face. He was right to have stopped. What were they doing? How could she have
acted like such a wanton, and after everything that had happened this evening?
And moreover, she had told herself over and over that she hated him for using
her like a pawn. Why couldn’t she quite believe it, though? Why did her body
seem to know what it wanted, to know the truth about him—that he was worthy of
her desire? She didn’t know what to make of what had just passed between them;
it was like nothing she had ever experienced before. She had lost herself in
his embrace, in his heated touch. She had felt his raw passion, and she had
matched it with her own. She wasn’t thinking about what it would lead to; all
she knew in the moment was that she had needed to feel his aliveness, to remind
herself of the warmth in her own blood, which had never stirred except in
anger. Suddenly, she felt like she had uncovered an entirely new and foreign
part of herself. Just as her fiery spirit had kept her from bending to others’
will, it seemed to also suffuse her with a passion that she had never
experienced before—never before Robert.

But now he stood at a distance, and she felt ashamed
at her own desire. She tried to salvage what little shred of dignity she had
left, not wanting him to see the longing he had created in her, especially if
he did not feel it equally. She smoothed her hair, strands of which had come
loose from her braid, and straightened her dress where it had become
disheveled.

“We should join the others,” she said on a shaky
breath.

“Aye,” he responded, his voice resuming some of its
normal flatness. She lowered her eyes, shamed again by his levelness. She felt
like her whole world had been tumbled upside down at their embrace, while he
remained cool, unaffected. She knew he had wanted her as they kissed, but
perhaps for him it was merely a…bodily longing? She didn’t know enough about
men and women to understand, but was hurt by his ability to control himself
when she felt completely jumbled.

They both turned and walked over to Dash, then without
speaking, they mounted and rode the short distance to where the other men had
set up a camp for the night. The crisp night air cooled her cheeks somewhat,
but Alwin was unable to find rest once she was stretched out on the ground with
Robert’s plaid wrapped around her. She tossed and turned the whole night,
tumbling over and over in her mind what had passed between them.

Chapter 20

The next morning, the party prepared to set out early.
All the men were eager to return to Roslin and their families, bathe, and have
a hot meal. Burke informed Alwin that they were only a few hours’ ride from
Roslin. As she spoke to him shortly before they left Mara’s farm, she noticed
that Robert headed back to the farmhouse on horseback. He returned alone soon
after, telling Burke that George and Collum, the other man, would be staying
with Mara and little Danny for a few more days to help her around the house.
Neither man was returning to a wife or child, and both were more than willing
to help out the widow of their fallen friend. Just moments after Robert
returned, they were riding at an urgent pace once again, but this time they
rode eagerly toward home.

Their
home,
Alwin thought as she grew more and more anxious riding in front of Robert. What
would their arrival at Roslin mean for her? What would her role be there? Would
she be greeted as the new mistress of the castle? Unlikely, she thought
fretfully, nor was that a role that she wanted to inhabit. As the lady of the
Hewett manor, she had been trained to run a keep, but she was unsure of how
they did things here in the Highlands. Moreover, she was still in disbelief
that she and Robert had actually been married. Since she planned to seek and
annulment immediately, she hardly even thought of the union as real.

Nevertheless, she was in fact the mistress of Roslin
now. Would the Sinclair clan hate her for that? She had not asked for such a
role. She would let Robert take the lead on how to tell his people of their
marriage, and watch him closely for how he treated her in front of others.
Perhaps he thought of the union as just as much of a farce as she did. Perhaps
he wouldn’t expect her to run the keep as mistress, but serve her function as a
pawn in ransom negotiations until the money came in from Warren and her father.

One thing she knew for sure, though: he may not see
her as the true mistress of the Sinclair holding and clan, but she would not be
treated poorly. She refused to be controlled or disrespected, by him or any of
the other clanspeople. Even if they hated her, even if he saw her only as a
pawn, she would demand basic human decency. She had not chosen this, and she
would keep fighting for her freedom. She wasn’t exactly sure what that would
entail in this new and unknown environment, but she trusted that her spirit
would never break, that she would always instinctually defend her freedom. And
that meant not being controlled by her feelings for Robert, or crushed by his
distance this morning—and getting an annulment as soon as possible.

While she chewed on these thoughts, she lost track of
time. As the sun reached its midday height through patchy clouds, they began
climbing a slope. Soon they reached the top of the rise, and a whiff of salty
sea air had her jerking her eyes up. She gasped at the sight before her.

The rise they had climbed sloped down to a flat, open
expanse, which was slightly browned now in the winter, but that she guessed was
normally coated in a carpet of bright green grass. The expanse narrowed to a
point over several miles, and at the tip of that point stood an imposing
castle. From their vantage point, she could see at least four towers within an
enormous stone curtain wall. The castle was perched on what seemed to be the
edge of the world; it could be approached by land on its front side, but was
surrounded on its other three sides by cliffs and ocean. A breeze was whipping
up the whitecaps on the sea and occasionally Alwin saw a blast of mist shoot up
behind the castle where the waves crashed against the cliffs atop which it sat.

Burke reined his horse alongside Robert and Alwin.
“Didn’t I tell you, my lady? Roslin’s beauty makes the journey home well worth
it.”

She could only nod, her eyes still locked on the sight
before her.

Although Robert couldn’t see the look of awe and
wonder on her face, she felt his chest swell behind her, and heard a deep
rumble of pride in his throat. He nudged Dash forward to cross the last expanse
standing between them and home.

The watchmen along the curtain wall must have spotted
their colors, but waited until their faces became visible to raise the
portcullis. Alwin could hear a cheer go up from within the walls, and the open
square in the middle of the castle started to fill with people. As their party
made their way under the portcullis, another cheer went up, and the men began
jumping off of their horses and embracing what Alwin guessed were wives, family
members, and friends. Her chest pinched in fear. Despite the fact that she
still wore the clan colors around her shoulders, she was an outsider. No one
knew her here, and she was not likely to get any kind of warm welcome.

Robert slid off of his horse, then reached up and drew
her down as well. A few eyes were beginning to find her, and despite her
efforts to keep her back straight and chin high, she flinched under their
scrutiny. Robert surprised her, though. Taking her hand, he laced it through
his arm so that her palm rested on his muscular forearm. He cleared his throat
and suddenly the square was quiet.

“It is good to be home!” he said, and the crowd
gathered around cheered loudly again. But they returned to an expectant hush,
waiting for his next words.

His face was set in an easy confidence and command.
Only Alwin was close enough to see the slight tension in his jaw. “This is my
wife, Lady Alwin,” he said in a deep, clear voice. Alwin realized that he had
spoken in English, and probably not just for her benefit. With a sense of
horror, she guessed that he was also indicating her country of origin to those
gathered in the square. A gasp went up all around them, and a murmur of what
Alwin interpreted as displeasure began to rise. Instinctively, she moved closer
to Robert’s side, trying to shield herself from the crowd’s seeming discontent
behind his powerful body.

After what felt like an eternal silence, the crowd
cheered again, even louder than before. Amazingly, they seemed genuinely happy.
Alwin let out a breath that she didn’t realize she was holding.

Suddenly, she was surrounded by people offering their
congratulations. Men came up and clapped Robert on the back, and several women
approached her and curtsied. Beneath lowered lashes, Alwin caught a glimpse of
an older woman elbowing her way through the crowd. She was thin and wiry, and
wore a plaid in the Sinclair colors over the shoulder of her dress, as the
other women did. Her greying hair was pulled back into a simple bun. Once she
broke through to stand in front of Alwin and Robert, she gave them both a hard,
critical look. She inspected Alwin in particular from head to toe, no doubt
taking in her dirty and disheveled appearance, and Robert’s plaid around her
shoulders. Seeming to decide something, the older woman nodded and curtsied,
then pinned Robert with a scathing look.

“And how do you like this? Leaving your house and
kitchen staff with only a few hours to prepare a wedding feast fit for their
Laird and new Lady?” she said critically, glaring at Robert.