Hilda and Zelda (9 page)

Wands were drawn, spells were spoken. "Now
that's food."

As they were eating, there was a knock on the
door.

"Suck an elf," Hilda muttered, "no one knows
we're here, right?"

"Apparently that's wrong," William said. He
got up and went over to the door to peek through the spy-glass.
"Ordinaries," he whispered to Hilda.

Quickly they changed their attire to
something more of this world and then William opened the door.
"Hello?"

Wearing thick coats, as the cold and the snow
were still not entirely gone, were a woman in her forties and a
teenage child. "Hello. Sorry for interrupting, but we heard sounds
from here. We didn't know someone had moved in and we thought it
would be nice to come and welcome you. We're the Winklers, from
next door."

The woman and the child, a boy, came in and
closed the door behind them.

William was a bit lost, Hilda was completely
lost.

"Oh, uhm, hello. We are William and Hilda
Connoley." William improvised, hoping that Hilda would catch on.
This was all new for her. "We've just arrived here."

Mrs. Winkler looked around in the rather
empty room. "Yes. I see." Then she marched towards Hilda, grabbed
the hand of the witch. "Hello, Mrs. Connoley, Margaret Winkler, and
this is sweet little Jeff. So pleased to meet you."

William almost died as he saw the scene and
tried to inform Hilda through their link she should not do anything
magical to the woman.

"Hello, Mrs. Winkler," Hilda calmly said.

"Are you going to move in properly soon?",
Mrs. Winkler asked.

"We are not sure if we are staying here for
long," said William. "We are here on a sort of test run of the
apartment, so to speak."

"Yes. A test run," Hilda confirmed,
retreating to the table and the food.

"Oh, I am so sorry for barging in and
interrupting your dinner," said the woman. She did not make any
move to leave though. "Do sit and eat, I am not bothered by
that."

William had the strong impression that the
woman wasn't bothered with anything, the way she tried to take
control of the situation.

"When did you move in?", Mrs. Winkler asked.
"I have not seen you arrive, and usually I see everything. Do you
know what the reason was for all that snow and cold all of a
sudden? Isn't that strange? And the rate at which it is thawing
now, it is incredible. Oh, you have a very nice view here, only too
bad about that big tree. Maybe you can get in touch with town hall
and ask them to take it down."

The woman rattled on and on, while William
sat down and ate his last food.

Suddenly Hilda shot up from her chair and
held out a hand. "Kid! Don't!"

Sweet little Jeff was holding one of their
brooms in his hands.

William turned, praying that Hilda would not
use magic. "Put that broom down, son. It's not yours."

"Oh, isn't he sweet?", Mrs. Winkler cheered,
"he wants to help you clean the house. Good boy, Jeff, but maybe
not now?" She looked at Hilda, whose face predicted an unhappy
ending for Jeff if the kid would not put down the broom
quickly.

"Put the broom back. Now." Hilda spoke
slowly.

The boy put the broom back. Then he looked at
Hilda. "Ugly witch."

"I am not ugly," Hilda said, her eyes
sparkling red, an undertone of threat in her voice.

"MUM!", sweet little Jeff shouted and ran to
his mother. "Her eyes are red! She's a vampire!"

"Jeff, she can't be. Vampires live in the
night, remember?"

"Perhaps it is best that you leave now," said
William, who had gotten up again.

"Maybe, yes," Mrs. Winkler agreed as she
dragged Jeff to the door.

"Mum, that broom flies! Mum!"

Jeff got a slap over the head.

"Stop being a nuissance, Jeff. You and your
big mouth. I'm so sorry, folks, usually he doesn't do things like
that." Mrs. Winkler rapidly ushered her son out the door and so the
visitors left.

William leaned against the door after locking
it. "Sheesh. Just what we need. A snooping neighbour. And that
kid."

Hilda nodded and leaned against William.
"Does this mean we have to find another place to stay? It's a good
place here."

"We can stay here for a while longer and see
what happens. If they get too nosey, we'll have to move. That's a
worry for later. Let's first see how we can handle-"

There was knocking on the door. William
looked through the spy-glass and saw nobody. "Now what..." He
opened the door and found sweet little Jeff Winkler looking up at
him.

"Your wife is a witch," he declared.

"I know. And I am a wizard."

Hilda stood next to William, wondering why he
was talking so openly to the child. "William?"

"It's okay, Hilda," he assured her.

Sweet little Jeff stared at them. "Do you
turn people into frogs?"

"Sometimes. When they need it."

"Can you turn me into a frog?"

Hilda looked at the kid. "Yes. That's easy.
You're small." She held out her hand and made the wand appear.

Sweet little Jeff stared at the hand and the
wand. "Cool!"

"Do you want to be a frog?", Hilda asked the
boy.

"Only if you turn me back into me again," he
said. Jeff had seen things on television about wishes and how these
got people into problems.

"Better come in then," said William, "it
would look bad if someone sees us do that. We're here to catch the
witch that makes the town crazy."

Jeff nodded and came in. "There is another
witch? The police say there are terrorists and gas and stuff."

"That's all bogus," said William, "they don't
know what they are up against so they invent something that people
know, so there is no panic."

"Stand there," said Hilda as she pointed to a
place in the room. "You're going to be a frog for a while."

"Cool." Jeff stood where Hilda directed
him.

Then she pointed at him. "Ranunculus."

Jeff's clothes fell to the ground, and a smal
toad crawled from under it. It made a sad little sound and it
looked entirely lost and confused, as far as a toad can express
such emotions.

Hilda and William watched it crawl around for
a while, then she turned him back into a boy. A boy who was
scrambling his clothes together and getting into them in a
hurry.

"Did you like being a frog?"

"No way, that's way cramped in there! And
everything is too big too then!" Jeff shook his head to emphasise
his feelings. "I don't want to be a frog anymore."

"Right. Now, Jeff, remember that feeling. Not
a word to anyone about us, okay? We have a difficult thing to do
here, and we don't need the police or the press here to see us.
Just remember what it is to be a frog. I am sure you are clever
enough to figure out what I mean." William popped up a glass of
orange juice and handed that to the boy.

"Oh, don't worry, sir, I'm not going to tell.
They'd think I'm crazy. And thanks for this." Jeff drained the
glass in one go.

Hilda as well as William noticed the 'sir'.
Clearly the experience had impressed the boy deeply.

"Would you like some more?" Hilda knew that
most ordinaries' bodies reacted awkwardly to being transformed.
Jeff nodded, so she filled up his glass again with a snip of her
fingers.

"Whoa, that's so cool," the boy said, looking
at the glass.

From outside, they heard his mother yell out
the boy's name.

"Oh. That's my call," Jeff said as he handed
the glass to William. "I'd better go. Can I come visit you
again?"

"You can try. We may not be here," said
William as he walked the boy to the door.

"That's a chance I can take," said Jeff.
"Thank you. Sir. Mrs. Witch." He hopped out and quickly went to his
mother.

The magical couple stared each other in the
eye.

"Suck an elf."

After their initial amazement had worn off,
they sat on the chairs again. William conjured up two cups of
coffee and then they tried to decide on their next step. After all,
having a neighbouring kid who wanted to be friendly was nice, but
that did not deliver Zelda.

They understood that so far they still had an
advantage, as Zelda did not know they were alive. It would work for
a surprise attack, but the attack would have to be good.

"We'll have to be there when she leaves the
building," Hilda thought out loud. "Be there in a way that she
won't suspect, so we can hit her hard."

"That sounds like a good plan. Now, how can
we hit her hard? I have no experience with catching witches, except
you."

"You did not catch me, I caught you." The
wicked witch looked at him, challenging him with her eyes.

William did not bite. "Whatever you want,
sweetwitch. And on the subject of Zelda?"

"Hmm. There are a few ways. Take away her
wand. Make sure she can't move and speak. Make her doubt her
environment."

"Oh, goody." William frowned. "Sounds very
simple, doesn't it? Isn't there just a way to get her drunk or so?
Magic doesn't work when we're drunk..."

"True. I forgot that one. Oh, maybe we can
flood the building with alcohol and disable her that way," Hilda
said.

"Hmmm. That is so silly it might actually
work," William pondered.

"Hey, you. Watch it, okay?"

William watched her for a moment. Then he
smiled. "You're sweet."

"Puh."

"I do guess we'd need to seal off the exits
to the building to make sure she's hit with the alcohol," William
thought out loud, "and it would be important to get the alcohol in
that building in all places at the same time, so she can't
run."

Hilda tugged William's sleeve. "You're taking
that idea seriously?"

"Of course. It's an idea, and for now the
only one. Usually the more improbable it appears to be, the better
it works."

"Yes. Sure. I know that. I'm good, and a
witch, after all." Smugly Hilda sat back. "And what more would my
plan need?"

"A lot of alcohol, for starters. I doubt that
you and I combined can magick up so much alcohol that we can fill
the town hall building."

Hilda nodded. "That's true. Big building. Too
big. Maybe we could shrink it." She frowned at her idea. "Although
it's awfully big. Never tried that before."

"And there's someone inside it who can't be
shrunk," William added.

Hilda nodded. "That's a problem also. So, do
you have a wine place near here?"

William frowned. "Don't you have a simple
question?"

"Sure I do, but I already know you love
me."

William's face lit up. "I think I know
something better than a winery."

"Oh?"

"A library."

"Sometimes, sweet wizard, you say the
strangest things."

-=-=-

The wizard walked along the lines of books,
the witch in his wake. "Ah. Here we are. Organic chemistry."

"We need alcohol, William, lots of it. Not
that book."

Far away an alarm went off. The floor
shuddered for a moment, and the lights overhead flickered.

"And may I remind you that we need that stuff
fast."

William nodded as he quickly paged through
the book. "Damn, too much booze in here," he muttered as the
chemical information ran past him. "Ah. Here it is." He sat down
with the book, reading the page.

Hilda looked at the page. "What's all that?
Those are very strange magical symbols."

"This is how alcohol is made," William said,
without looking up at her.

"Oh, sure." Hilda frowned. "I don't recall
seeing you drink, William, and yet you sound as if you've had
enough."

William looked one more time at the page.
Then he closed the book and put it away again. "I know enough. Now
all we need is a tremendous amount of water. But before we do
that..." He took Hilda's hand and tried to show her, through the
link, what he intended to do, transforming water into alcohol by
applying the chemical formula and some magic.

Hilda looked surprised. "Suck an elf,
William, that is powerful magic if it really works!" She did not
understand the theory behind it, but she knew she could do this.
"There still is a lot of snow around outside, William. That is easy
to transport and turn back to water..."

William now grinned. "That is an excellent
idea."

They left the library and started to collect
as much snow as they could, storing it behind the large building
where Hilda had been waiting earlier, so Zelda would not see it.
They needed some magic to keep the snow where it was and to prevent
it from thawing also.

Hilda took a chance one time and quickly flew
by town hall, to make sure Zelda was still there.

"She in there. If we're going to do it, we
have to do it now," said Hilda. "It is quite strenuous to keep all
that stuff cold."

William agreed. They enveloped the mountain
of snow with magic and raised it off the ground. "Let's do it."

The action that followed went amazingly fast.
The snowball flew up and once in the air it split in two parts.
Magic held the two pieces up and as one piece shot towards the
front of the building where Zelda was, the other part flew to the
back of it. Hilda guided one bulk of snow, William the other, and
just before impact on the floor where William had located Zelda's
throne, they changed the water to alcohol and like that the two
giant loads of liquid smashed into the building, taking all windows
out. The two amounts of pure liquor, which were probably the wet
dream of many an alcoholic, met in the middle of the rooms they
were thrown into.

William and Hilda then sealed off the
building, keeping the alcohol inside. Some of the stuff leaking to
the lower floors was something they had counted on.

After about three minutes the magical couple
released their magic and let the alcohol flush away. If Zelda
managed to survive three minutes of that, then there was no point
in holding it there longer.