Hilda - Snow White revisited (15 page)

"You again!" She stared at the three that had
left her house in a great hurry not too long ago.

"Yes. Us again, you ugly witch!", Regina
yelled.

"I am NOT ugly," Hilda remarked truthfully. "And
you are trespassing. And do you know what happens to trespassers
here?"

Ribaldo was not very interested in her words. He
was trying to get the snake off himself, but the harder he tried,
the longer, thicker and more tenacious the serpent became. Rodolfo
was almost relieved that he was only wrapped up in the chains of
the house.

Ronaldo decided that it was his turn to be
heroic. He grabbed the broom that was holding him back and tried to
force it to the ground. The broom did not budge immediately. Only
when Hilda had hissed a short spell, the broom came to life. The
length of the broomstick slammed into Ronaldo's stomach, making the
man attempt to wrap himself around the broom. Then the broom went
up into the air ten feet.

"I suggest you do not move," Hilda advised the
hero. "It's a nasty drop from up there." She turned to Regina. "And
as for you..." A spell later, the broom that held Regina back shot
up and plummeted back down. The end of the stick slipped down
Regina's back, inside her dress and then drilled itself into the
ground as the broom elongated itself to a length of twelve yards.
Regina stood pinned to the ground, the bristles of the broom
scraping her neck.

"What is it with you people? All that just
because I did not want to get one of your brooms??" Hilda paced up
and down, shaking her head, barely taking notice of the four people
in their precarious positions. "I must have pissed off someone very
powerful, if this is my reward."

The wicked witch stopped pacing and smiled. "You
know, I have things to do that can't wait long, so I have to find
something to do with you, and I think I just got the perfect
idea..."

"Get this snake off me!", Ribaldo screamed all
of a sudden. He had become more and more frantic and wild in trying
to get the infernal animal from his arms, and as a result it had
wrapped its long and rapidly fattening body around him. There was
no way he could do anything else than fall over, which he did.
Perfectly.

"Pathetic," Hilda commented. She took her wand
and pointed at the chains.

Rodolfo grew pale.

"Don't worry. I just want a cage. A big one,"
Hilda failed to make the man feel better. Several seconds later, as
English did not work as fast as Latin, a large cage appeared on the
grass in front of the house. At the same time part of the chains
disappeared, releasing Rodolfo and making him fall on the ground.
The man could not move well, after having spent the night tied to
the house. His moaning had improved though.

"Ordinaries. Nothing but trouble," Hilda sighed
as she employed the wand to move the four invaders into the cage.
Ribaldo's snake disappeared, and the broom that had held Regina in
place peacefully settled in a spot near the house.

The cage was a remarkable contraption. It was
quite large for four people, with a solid floor and bars that were
at least two feet apart. Ribaldo and Regina looked at eachother as
they had taken in the measurements of their prison and grinned.
Getting out of this was child's play.

Hilda stepped back. "Oh, yes. You are of course
free to escape if you want. I am not going to stop you from that."
The wand didn't even move to make the cage move. Upwards. Until it
was fifty feet over the grass.

The wicked witch turned and walked to her house,
removed the chains, collected her brooms and went inside. She
ignored the screams.

In the workshop of Johan the mirror-maker, the
glass coffin had reached its completion. Happy and Bashful were
very pleased with it, and so was Johan. For the mirror-maker there
was an extra reason to be happy, which had the form of a leather
pouch with raw gold in it. Happy had handed that to the man as
payment, on the condition that Johan would also arrange transport
of the glass coffin to their house.

Katrina was already out in the village to find a
person with a good cart to bring the coffin away, as Johan was
wiping the glass sides for a last time. "I hope you are pleased
with the work," the man said to the dwarfs. It was an interesting
thing to make but I still like mirrors better."

Happy and Bashful did not mind that. This part
of the plan was done, and the result was amazing, and when Katrina
came back with a willing person to take them and the coffin back to
their homeland and their house, they were even more enthusiastic.
Life with the humans had not been bad, but it was a lot different
than life with the boys.

After the coffin had been wrapped in straw and
carefully loaded onto the cart, the dwarfs were hoisted on board
also. Katrina had packed them a good lunch and some bottles, for
during the trip.

"Is this water?", Happy asked, glaring at the
bottle.

"Not exactly," said Katrina as her husband Johan
climbed down from the cart after a final inspection.

"Oh, you make me even more happy!", said Happy,
blowing a kiss to the woman. "Hear that, Bash? We're going to get
so smashed, you and me, the trip will be over before we know
it."

"Uhuh," Bashful said, ogling the bottles.

"Carry on, driver," Happy said, waving at Johan
and Katrina. The cart started to move as the mule pulled. They went
through the streets of the village, and by the time they had left
this paramount of civilisation, the first bottle was already
open.

Hilda had put on her comfy stuff and sat in
front of her mirror, the goldfish-cup in hand. She saw the two
dwarfs ride out of the village. With a well-packed bulk. "Good
boys. I hope they behaved themselves." You never knew with dwarfs,
they could corrupt anyone if they set their mind to it.

In the castle things were calm but the
atmosphere appeared to be weird, Hilda noticed. The king and queen,
never very close, now seemed to be the best of mateys. The queen
paraded around in her best clothes, the king was never far away to
keep an eye on her...

The mean queen swallowed the next sigh. Why
won't he just go and do what he does otherwise, she wondered. Walt
had been after her all day already and she did not like that one
bit.

Walt on the other hand had a lot of fun, seeing
how his dear wife was trying to lose him, squirming and sighing
without much luck. He had heard from several more independent sides
how queeny had been spending her time and this was just too easy to
get on her nerves.

He did feel bad about the slight inconvenience
he had caused his servant, but hey, Walt was king, and if the king
couldn't get things sheetwise with the queen, then why should his
servant? Even Walt had to draw the line somewhere.

Around noon the queen was entirely fed up with
Walt's little espionage affair and retreated to her room. She
ordered a nice lunch to be delivered there and lay on her bed until
it arrived, staring at the ceiling as a thousand thoughts ran
through her head.

Lunch came and went. Boredom also came, but
refused to go. The mean queen asked the despairing mirror once
again who was the fairest in the land, but even that didn't make
her feel good anymore.

Annoyed, she got up and walked out of her room,
not caring if Walt was there or not. He wasn't. The queen rubbed
her eyes and looked the long corridor up and down again, but the
king was not there. She couldn't believe it. And she didn't.
Indecisively she stood in front of the door to her chambers, not
knowing if she should retreat inside again or to go out and about
and find herself some fun as usual. She ended on the middle road.
She went out for a walk but refrained from finding fun.

"Oy," Hilda said to her teacup. "I hope Walt is
not putting this on too thick, otherwise the plan might still blow
up. Would be a shame.

The cart arrived at the house of the dwarfs.
Happy and Bashful lay happily snoring in the back. The driver of
the cart made several attempts to wake the two up, but failed time
after time. He shrugged, lifted the two little men from the cart
and put them on the grass near the house. They'd be fine there.

As the man was doing this, the two dwarfs who
had stayed home from working in the mine looked out of the window.
Grumpy mutteted something, Doc elbowed him to be silent. It had the
adverse effect.

"Come, we have to help the man," Doc said and
opened the door. "Howdy, dudey, what are you doing with our
friends?"

"Oh, hello mr Dwarf. I am taking them home, and
bringing the glass coffin. Rather kinky if you ask me, but since
you don't ask me..." The man took off a plank from the cart to make
the lifting of the coffin easier.

"Oh, good, yes," said Doc. "We'll help you. Just
let me get some steps, so we can reach up to that high wagon of
yours."

"Good? Speak for yourself," Grumpy grumped,
shaking his head as he stared at the two almost lifeless shapes
that were his friends. "They got it good. You know nothing."

Doc did not care. He went off and returned with
a small ladder, just high enough to reach the loading floor of the
wagon. "You get up there, Grumpy, and help the good man. I am too
old for circus acts like that."

Grumpy cast a look that would have killed, but
Doc was used to something. It also helped that Grumpy was a dwarf,
not a witch or a warlock, and that was a good thing for all
lifeforms in the area. Unhappy the grouchy dwarf climbed onto the
ladder. "I'll probably break my neck and legs. And if I do, I'm
going to break yours as well, Doc."

With considerable effort, they took the glass
coffin from the cart and put that on the grass also. Somehow it all
went well, nothing was broken or scratched.

The man from the village wished them well, got
onto his wagon and drove it off again.

Doc stared. At the two sleeping ones, and at the
coffin. "We'd better get started then," he said to Grumpy.

"Start all you want," the addressed dwarf
grumbled, "I have done enough for today, risking my neck and
all."

"Hey," said Doc, slapping Grumpy over the head,
"we have to prepare this coffin for Snow-White so she lies
comftorably, remember? Now, if you don't want to help me with that,
you are one mean piece of-"

"Okay, okay, no need to say that word out loud,"
Grumpy grumped. "You made your point. Do you want to bring the
stuff out here, or do we take the coffin inside?"

They took the coffin inside.

By the time their mates came home, Happy and
Bashful had regained most of their consciousness again and had been
helping to make a nice resting place for Snow-White inside the
glass coffin. Bashful, as he had the neatest handwriting, had taken
it upon him to write her name in large golden letters on the cover,
near the part that would be over her legs and feet.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?",
Dopey asked as he put yet another silk pillow in the coffin, next
to the twelve he had already stuck in there.

"Depends on what you are referring to, Dope,"
Grumpy said. "If you keep that pillow-fetish up there won't even be
room for a shoe in that coffin, you twit."

"Oh. Think so?" Dopey took off one of his shoes.
"That still fits..."

"I sometimes want to hurt you so much..." Grumpy
hung his head and trotted off in despair, looking for liquid
sanity.

"He's really having a mood again today," Dopey
said to Sleepy, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to where
Grumpy had sauntered off.

"Hmm...", Sleepy responded, agreeing with his
eyes closed and his mind wandering.

"Thought you'd agree," Dopey nodded as he went
looking for a pillow. A small one.

Doc, Bashful, Happy and Sneezy sat at the table,
watching things unfold.

"Uhm, sorry folks, gotta run," Sneezy said as he
made for the door.

"Uh-oh," said Bashful as he dove under the
table. When the thunder was over, he and the others reappeared from
under the table as Sneezy came in again.

"No harm done," the sneezer announced. "Well,
nothing worth mentioning. We just won't have vegetables for a
while."

"Not again," Grumpy moaned. He walked over to
Sneezy and hit him up the head. "How often do I have to tell you
not to sneeze at the vegetable garden. Or the potatoe garden. Or
the flower garden."

"Uhm, well, that would only leave the house,"
Sneezy said, angered as he had been whacked for something he could
not help. "If you don't care about that, it's fine with me.
Sleeping outside is fine in the Summer."

"Maybe I just should get done with you then,"
Grumpy threatened Sneezy, his hand slowly going up to grab his mate
by the throat. Suffocation was a clean and merciful death, someone
had once told him.

"Uhm, don't you think that's a bit harsh with
Snow-White still in the house, Grumpmeister?", asked Doc, who
grabbed Grumpy's arms to prevent a killing.

"You damn always know something to say that
makes friggin' sense. I hate you for that."

Doc couldn't care less. At least everone in the
house was safe now. For now.

They inspected the glass coffin one more time.
They took out the pillows, much to Dopey's disappointment. And then
they had to take the difficult and drastic step: putting Snow-White
in there. Six of the seven had a bit of an argument who would hold
Snow-White where, making Sleepy complain about their noise. The
problem was solved in the end though, and the six positioned
themselves around Snow-White's bed, where she still lay sleeping,
the piece of apple in her throat.

"She looks pretty darn dead to me," Grumpy
muttered.

"Be quiet andlift, you're just pissed off that
you have a foot," said Happy who already had his hands under
Snow-White's behind. If his smile would get any wider, the top of
his head would fall off.