Him Her Them Boxed Set (17 page)

"I'm going to tell her tonight Corbin. This time I will do it, I swear."

My foot is tapping the wood porch in front of Jos and Luna's place while my hand keeps combing my hair back. Damn it why can't I get up the nerve to tell Josephine about Robin? Because she will hate me that's why. Jesus, I hate me. No wonder that prick Ryan was being such a dick. I think he's just a natural asshole but with the information he has, he is ready to take me down. That shit bag is chomping at the bit to sink his teeth into Josephine. I know once she learns what happened she'll dump me. Perhaps that's what I deserve, to have the most beautiful woman show me heaven and then drop my ass. God, I hate myself right now.

"Well, wait until after dinner, okay Pierce? I want to have a good time tonight."

Corbin pats me on the back and rings the doorbell. We can hear laughter coming from inside. The door swings wide and Luna is standing there in a long green silk dress looking almost as striking as the gorgeous raven haired beauty standing just behind her.

My nerves disappear for a moment as I try to catch my breath. Josephine has her head tilted down ever so slightly, but her gaze is set upon me. She is so beautiful standing there in her white dress. It makes her skin glow or eyes sparkle or something that stops the world for that moment.

Luna practically knocks me over to get to Corbin, jumping into his arms and snapping me back into reality. I feel a hand on my arm, firm but gentle if that can happen. Looking over, I see Josephine smiling.

"Are you okay Pierce? You should watch where you're going Luna, you nearly knocked over my man!"

Did she just call me her man? Perhaps this double date wasn't such a good idea. I am sure Corbin won't mind if I cancel and Josephine and I stay the night in bed.

"Are you feeling alright Pierce? You have a strange look on your face."

"Ahhh...Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry, my mind was somewhere else for a moment."

"I think I can guess Pierce -- did it have anything to do with my bedroom?"

She is smirking as she somehow reads my mind right now. How does she do that?

I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her in to feel her warm body next to mine. The soft beat of her heart reverberates through me as I inhale her sweet floral scent. I don't think I will ever be able to smell honeysuckles ever again without Josephine popping into my head. Even if she leaves me. Shit! I just remembered why she would leave me. I nuzzle my head into her neck to make the nerves go away.

"God, you guys get a room! Wait, don't get a room. We need to go have dinner. Jos, tame your man, okay?"

Luna is holding Corbin's hand and waiting on us, tapping her foot oh so impatiently.

"Luna's right Pierce. As much as I like the naughty thoughts I know you have going on in your head, we should head off to dinner."

Reluctantly I pull away and nod my head. We pile into Corbin's car and head off to Aldo's in Little Italy. Once we are inside and seated, I try to focus solely on the date, but Josephine keeps stealing glances as if she is on to me. After the waiter has taken our order Josephine rubs my hand, sending chills up my arm.

"If you aren't feeling well Pierce, we can go."

"Oh, no I just have something on my mind."

"Is it work? I am a little stressed too. I still haven't heard anything about the professorship. Dr. Watter keeps avoiding me, so that doesn't help my nerves. Of course Ryan keeps acting like he has some big secret. I wonder if he knows I'm not getting the job. He has been getting on my nerves more and more this past week."

"Yes, he is a dick isn't he?"

"Pierce, please there is no need for name calling. I know he wasn't pleasant last week when you two met, but he did apologize."

"Who's a dick?" Luna turns her attention to us after Corbin has stopped whispering in her ear.

"Ryan, my office mate. He met Pierce last week and was very rude to him."

"Yeah, that guy has the hots big time for you Jos. No wonder he hates Pierce."

Josephine seems genuinely surprised by Luna's comments.

"Oh please Jos, don't tell me you never noticed how he looks at you? When you invited me to that cocktail hour last year he couldn't keep his eyes off you."

"Well, he never made his intentions known. It doesn't matter now, I have Pierce."

I am starting to wonder if Josephine is attracted to Ryan.

"So, Josephine, if he did make his intentions known and I wasn't in your life, would you be with him?"

She taps her chin and looks up toward the ceiling pondering my question for a few moments, which makes my heart start to sink.

"No, I guess not. I work with him. I don't mix professional with personal. It rarely turns out well for anyone."

Somehow that answer doesn't make me feel any better.

"Let me rephrase that Josephine. Are you attracted to Ryan?"

"Ummm...he's attractive yes, but I don't look at him in that way if that is what you are asking."

My knee is knocking the table from the bouncing my leg is doing. Still not feeling good about her answer. I think Luna and Corbin can tell this is not the conversation to be having on a double date as they try to change the subject.

"Hey Jos, I have to go to the ladies room. You come with me, okay?"

Jos is rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. Why do woman have to go to the bathroom in groups anyway? I never understood that. Do excuse me Pierce."

Corbin and I stand as the women head toward the back of the restaurant. I let a huge breath out as we sit back down.

"I can't believe she is attracted to that asshat! What the fuck!"

"Pierce calm down. She didn't say she was attracted to him, she said he is attractive. I think a lot of women are attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. There is a difference."

At that moment the waiter shows up with our food. I can't even look at my Spaghettoni all'Amatriciana. Everything smells delicious, but my appetite is gone. It started taking a nose dive when we picked up the women, but it has finally hit the rocks when Josephine mentioned the beauty of Ryan. I may be exaggerating but damn it, I hate that guy.

The women return after a few minutes and Josephine leans over to whisper in my ear.

"I'm sorry Pierce. I think I might have misspoke when I mentioned Ryan. He would come in last in a sexy as fuck contest, where you would win every time."

She nibbles my ear and sits back in her seat. The power she has over me, all my anger and confusion dissolve at her words.

The evening continues with lots of talk about Corbin's idea for a self-design application. I nod a lot but don't hear much of what is said. My mind keeps flip flopping. One minute I hate myself for my past, the next I hate Ryan and the next I feel nothing but pure love when I gaze over at Josephine.

By the time we are back at the girls' place for drinks I realize I've said about five words in the past hour. Josephine takes my hand and starts to tug me toward the stairs.

"Come with me Pierce. We need to talk."

As we ascend the staircase I hear Luna shout at us, "Don't make too much noise you guys. I don't want to be kept up all night."

I can hear Corbin's deep mumble and then Luna laughing as Josephine shuts the door behind us.

I proceed to sit on the edge of her soft white bed. Josephine stays rooted by the door examining me as if she is deciding which torture to implement first.

"What's wrong? You haven't been yourself all night. I should really say all week. Ever since you met Ryan at Papermoon you have made excuses not to see me, why?"

Cornered! She's got me. I have to tell her. Nervously I curl and flex my hand into fists, trying to give my fingers a small workout.

"Does it have to do with that woman Robin that Ryan mentioned?"

"Yes and no. I've also been busy at work. The school opens next week for the charity and I have been working late for that. But, I have been worried about Robin too."

"I know you have slept around Pierce, so if Robin was one of those women I don't understand why you would be so nervous for me to find out?"

She is standing in front of me now and for once I want to be anywhere but here. Even as her fingers curl through my hair, making my cock twitch to life, I want to run far away.

"It's a little more complicated than that Josephine. You know the neighborhood I grew up in?"

"Yeah. I haven't been there, but I know of it."

"Don't ever go there, promise me. It's not a place you would ever want to visit."

"Alright, I'll take your word for it. But that isn't the reason for your odd behavior Pierce."

Why did I think I could hide this from her? She can always see right through me.

"No, but Robin is someone from that place. She and I dated a long time ago when I was still living there, just before I left for MIT."

"I thought you said you only had one girlfriend and that was in college?"

"Yeah, well dating in my old neighborhood isn't what you think it means. It's just fucking, that's all it is. Once I got money in my pocket from some apps I developed and sold while at MIT I never went back. I changed a few things about myself so no one from the old place would find me. At least no one I wanted to. But, I stupidly told Robin about my new life because I had cared for her at one time and when I did know her, she was a sweet girl."

Josephine sat down beside me and started to rub my back.

"Unfortunately she had changed by the time I graduated MIT. She became one of them."

"Them?"

"Yeah, a lot of people from the old place got into drugs, drug dealing and prostitution. There isn't much else to do there, unless you want to work your butt off 80 hours a week and barely scrape by like my mom did."

"I'm sorry Pierce."

"I really believed, perhaps naively, that Robin would be different. I thought maybe I could help her, but she just took my help and ran. Now she comes back every few years threatening to reveal my new life to the people I don't want to know. She came to me once when she got knocked up and, well, it didn't end how I wanted it too. I helped her as much as I could, but ..."

I don't want to finish that sentence. I don't think I can. My hands are starting to tremble and Josephine softly takes hold, soothing them in her grip. We sit there in silence for a minute, perhaps two but all I can think about is what happened that day seven years ago.

"So, she was blackmailing you?"

"Yeah. At one point I gave her a lot of money to set her up, hopefully on the straight and narrow. That was some years ago, so when your co-worker Ryan brought her up, I feared what she would say."

"Is that why you were worried Pierce, that she would tell him some ridiculous thing and I would just believe him, or her."

I look away from my fingers and up at Josephine, not knowing what I may find in her eyes. She is concentrating on me, but there is warmth there that gives me relief.

"Pretty much. When I raced off last week from the diner I wanted to contact her and find out what she said. Of course she wanted money for the information. She told him...how she lost the baby."

Her grip tightens on me as I see the look of sorrow pass behind her eyes.

"It was seven years ago. I hadn't seen her since I had graduated MIT, but she came begging for money because she was pregnant."

My heart is racing so fast I wonder if it will explode in my chest. I don't want to tell her and the only other person who knows is Corbin, but I love Josephine. She needs to know me, all of me, even the bad side. I take a deep breath and continue.

"I begged her to come live with me; I would take care of the child because I knew what it was like to grow up without a father around. At least a decent father, anyway. I told her I would adopt the kid. It was too early in her pregnancy to know the sex.

"She moved in and it was good for a few weeks. She was fun to have around. I thought of her more like a sister at that point, than anything else. But then one day, she didn't come home. For days she was missing. I freaked. I even went back to my old neighborhood looking for her. Finally, she came home, high. I was livid. I don't think I have screamed that much in my life. We were half way between the kitchen and living room and I had my back to her. She grabbed my arm to turn me around and I must have moved too fast because..."

My throat caught. I turn my head to stare at the black and white print on Josephine's wall, but can't see it. She moves one of her hands to my hair and starts to curl her fingers through. It helps me from drifting too far away from her, from reality.

"It's alright Pierce, you don't have to tell me. That is your life with Robin, I get it."

I whip my head around and stare in disbelief at her. She is calm and gentle, but I do notice the moisture in her eyes.

"How can you say that Josephine? There is a part of me that isn't good. I have done a terrible thing, and I don't have to be a doctor of psychology to know my exploits with women had a reason behind them. I killed that baby. Robin fell back into the glass coffee table because of me. It shattered and a large piece punctured her. The doctors said they were surprised she didn't die as well."