Him Her Them Boxed Set (24 page)

The door swings open and I see a beautiful, glowing woman with a large flowery blouse that accentuates her very round belly, black leggings, amazing tan shoes and a cute black bob hairdo. Her smile is huge as she waddles toward me, throwing her arms open as I awkwardly hug her, having to bend at the waist in order not to crush her spherical torso.

"Oh Luna! I can't believe you are here. I missed you so much..." Her words start to become garbled as the tears streaming down her face turn into a heavy sob. I lift my head up in concern.

"Jos, oh hon, it's okay. I'm here to stay now. Don't worry, no more going back to Minnesota."

My father passed several months ago and as hard as it is to not be around my mom and sister anymore, I couldn't wait to leave that place. There is nothing wrong with Minnesota, in fact I met some great people there, but most of my memories of that state are not happy ones. I want to return to a place with happy memories and friends.

I take a good look at Jos's face, raising her chin with my fingers as her sob turns into sniffles and hiccups. She looks like a raccoon. When did she start wearing mascara? The only time she ever does that is when we go out dancing or a date. Other than that she hates to wear makeup.

I take out a tissue I have in my pocket and dab at her cheeks. She gives me a shy smile and gestures for me to come inside.

"Why are you wearing makeup? Do you have plans? I hope I am not intruding."

Jos waddles over to the couch and slowly lowers herself into a half seated half laying back position. It takes her a few moments to adjust herself comfortably.

"No plans, just you." Her voice trembles a bit before she continues. "I have just felt like wearing makeup the past month. And I am really into shoes right now. Pierce jokes I spend my paycheck on shoes and not getting ready for the baby."

She lifts her leg as far as she can to show me a very cute tan suede bootie. Wow, Jos into fashion, never thought that would happen.

"Sorry for the tears, but this pregnancy has made me so emotional. Last week Pierce took me out to dinner and two women a table away were laughing at a joke or something they said. Not being obnoxious, just laughing amongst themselves and all I wanted to do was go up to them and punch them. Something is seriously wrong with me?"

I laugh and pat her thigh as I can't really reach any other part of her body due to her belly being in the way.

"It's just the pregnancy hormones. When the baby is born in a few months I am sure you will return to your old robotic self."

She starts to cry again.

"Did I say something wrong Jos? I'm sorry, you aren't and have never been a robot. I was only teasing."

Jos is shaking her head, smearing more makeup with the back of her hand.

"No, you didn't say anything wrong. In fact it feels good to hear you joke with me. Pierce is a nervous wreck around me. He thinks everything might harm the baby. So, he won't joke with me or for that matter...anything else if you know what I mean."

She makes a cartoonish wink and I lift my hand to my mouth to stifle a laugh, but wrinkle my brow to give the appearance of concern.

"I, uh..I really don't know what to say to that. I'm sorry?"

She sighs and waves her hand dismissively.

"I know I shouldn't burden you with my silly problems." Jos then turns to me and struggles to sit up, but eventually gives up and reaches an arm out to me, grabbing my hand.

"I am truly sorry about your father Luna. How's your mom and sis?"

Now it's my turn to sigh.

"Lydia is alright. She's taking the year off from Boston University to grieve, but she is holding up. As for mom, well...I don't think she has really accepted it yet. She won't leave Minnesota. But if that is where she needs to be right now, then let her stay there and heal. I am ready to return to the land of the living."

I give her a quick, slight smile and take a deep breath. We sit for a minute in silence until I hear her moan. Looking over I see her wincing and holding her side.

"Are you alright Jos?"

"Yeah, it's just the baby kicking me. He always wants to kick into my ribs. He is a tough little bugger. I have decided he will be a boxer one day, much to my chagrin."

Jos, with much hardship, slowly rises from the couch. I try to offer a hand but she waves me off.

"Come on Luna, let me show you to your room. I'm sure you probably want to rest. But I don't see your bag anywhere?"

Jos looks around the room as I stand up.

"Yeah, the airline lost my luggage. Last I heard it was in Florida. I gave them this address and they told me they would drop it off when they got it back. But, they told me it might not be until tomorrow, so I will have to make a run to CVS to get some toiletries."

I shrug my shoulders and follow her as she awkwardly navigates the room toward the hall. We enter a room that is lush to say the least. I have been to Pierce's apartment before, back when Jos moved in, but I have never seen the guest room.

Everything is white and powder blue and I notice little yellow ducks everywhere, on shelves, a yellow duck pillow in the middle of the double bed. It is an interesting contrast, the room looks like something from an upscale hotel, but with cute little baby touches everywhere, a white crib next to a rocking chair in the corner by a large window overlooking the city.

"So, is this going to be the baby's room?"

I ask as I stroll over to the dark wood changing table that somehow matches the double guest bed, sliding my hand along the smooth wood surface. I notice all the linens match, white with blue stripes, the only contrast being the yellow ducks and yellow hand-knit baby blanket draped over the side of the crib.

"Yes. I want to keep the bed in here for guests and in case I need to stay in here for the baby. The first couple of months, the baby is sleeping in our room. I have a mini-crib that attaches to our bed. I just can't see myself schlepping to this room several times during the night, every night for months and months to feed and change him. I would turn into a zombie. So, with the co-sleeper I just roll over to pick him up."

I look at her and blink, twice. I never really thought about the round the clock work that goes into raising a baby. Everyone always talks about new parents not getting enough sleep, but I just didn't put two and two together. I love my sleep, I don't know if I could give that up. Jos notices the look of horror on my face. She chuckles and shakes her head.

"Don't worry, feel free to stay as long as you need Luna, but I don't expect you to stay up and feed him."

"Oh hon, no I'm sorry. It's just you are so prepared. I had no idea about any of this stuff and you are talking about it like its old hat. I'm being silly, of course you are prepared because you're Jos the robot!"

I walk toward her and give her a hug as best I can.

"It's okay Luna. Unless you are having or have had a baby, most people don't know all that's involved. In truth, until I actually experience it, I won't truly understand either. I am looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I dream about what he looks like, how it feels to hold him, maybe seeing his first smile. But, then I think about surviving on a few hours of sleep a night for months and some mothers have told me they forget to shower or eat. I worry what if I fall asleep on him as I am feeding him and he falls from my arms? What if I put him in the car seat to take him to the store, but am so tired I forget he's there and leave him in the car? Oh Luna, what if I kill him?"

I haven't seen Jos this panic stricken since she was attacked by her co-worker, Ryan. Placing my hand on her back I gently rub and bring her over to the bed to lie down, which she sort of just flops on to. I guess gracefulness is physically impossible when a woman is pregnant, but that maneuver was like an ostrich being tased.

"I am sure all mothers have the same fears too, Jos. Considering the vast majority of new moms don't end up doing any of those things, I think it's a safe bet that you will be an amazing mom who will not kill her baby. You should know better than anyone, the body is capable of handling a vast amount of stress."

She nods her head and yawns, which then makes me yawn.

"You rest Jos. I'll just go take a shower?"

"Of course Luna. Use our shower since that's where the shampoo and conditioner are. We only have fancy guest soap in the guest bath. There are clean towels on the shelf folded in our bathroom, above the toilet. Sorry, I don't mean to burden you and I don't know why I am so tired?"

"You're pregnant. Your body is hormone crazy and working triple time even while you sleep to keep you and the baby safe and healthy. Don't worry about me, I'll take a nice warm shower and then head out to pick up some things from the store..."

I trail off, as I can already hear her snoring. Like loud, pot-belly man snore. I can't help but chuckle under my breath and feel sorry for Pierce who is, I'm sure, already feeling sleep deprived with Rosie the Riveter here. I walk over and grab the yellow baby blanket and drape it over her arms and stomach.

I head out of the room and weave my way further down the hall, into their bedroom which also looks like it is from a magazine, and then settle into their very large bathroom. Everything is grey and white, again with yellow accents. The tile is grey slate with white walls and a grey bamboo accent wall behind the double vanities. The shower is massive, one of those walk in kinds that have shower faucets everywhere. I smile and decide I will take an extra-long shower. This is such a welcome relief from cheap hotel and hospital showers that I have had for a year. My mom finally rented a small rancher style home, but it hasn't been updated since the 1980's and the shower was an atrocity.

I turn on several faucets and wait until the room starts to steam up, grabbing my towel to place on the door hook I enter. When I put my head under the cascading water it is as if I entered heaven. Who needs sex and chocolate and wine and...okay, I need those things. Well, I don't need them, but I like them a whole lot. But if I like them, I am head over heels, hit me with a frying pan -- in love -- with this shower. Perhaps I could just tell Jos later that I forgot to go to the store to get my bathroom supplies, just so I can use this decadent water spraying apparatus again, because just saying the word shower doesn't do this thing justice. It needs a fancy title like Lord Supreme the Mighty Water Sprayer of Joy.

I look around for the shampoo and soap and see a tiled bench that holds all the bathing products. I grab the shampoo and get to work, giving myself a nice head massage. After I rinse I repeat with the conditioner, loving the floral smell. Finally I grab the body wash and look for a hand towel or sponge, but nothing. Shoot! I should have grabbed a hand towel and brought it in with me. Just as I am about to open the door to the Mighty Water Sprayer I hear the bathroom door open. Good, Jos can get it for me. I start to open my mouth to tell her when I am immediately cut off.

"Hey I got off early thinking a lot about what you said today. You were right; I am being silly. Afraid my mighty cock might bruise the baby's head or something."

Pierce's voice carries over the shower and I see the outline of a tall manly figure slowly undressing so I shake my head, but realize he can't see me.

"No, Pierce..."

He cuts me off before I can finish.

"I know dear. You've been horny lately. I get it, hormones and don't get me wrong seeing you like this, carrying our child really turns me on, but I have to admit I'm a bit nervous. Why don't we make up for some lost time and let me get you all dirty so I clean you again."

I hear the shower door open and instinctively my arms and hands try their best to cover my most intimate parts. Pierce's face and body clear the steam and his smile quickly morphs into terror. Without thinking I look down and notice he is quite ready to get dirty.

"Oh god! Oh god! Luna! I thought you were...Oh god."

"Obviously Pierce, now if you don't mind please get out!"

He nods rapidly, still not moving before his eyes shoot to the ceiling.

"Yes, yes, of course. I, uh, oh god I am sorry. Where's, um, where's Josephine?"

"She fell asleep in the guest room. Now please leave."

Finally he backs out shutting the shower and racing out of the bathroom. After my heart slows down I realize I still don't have my hand towel.

I'm watching her, she's smiling. Over-smiling. It is grating. At one time that smile caught my eye, I thought it was amusing, but now it's -- well -- it's like the optic equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Those large red lips spreading across her face causing thoughts of the Joker to spread across my mind. She is still sweet to me, so why does she bother me so much? I have dated Shari for a few months now and when I first met her at  one of Jos's Johns Hopkins parties Pierce dragged me to. Shari took my breath away. She joked she came for the free food, being a nurse she doesn't really socialize with the academic personal, but nurses have a way of finding out where there is free food she told me. I thought, funny and beautiful, too good to be true. But now, I don't know. Obviously I have a problem because I have started to make up excuses not to see her. God, I'm an awful boyfriend.

"Sugar, why so glum?"

Shari is curling her fingers through my hair as we sit on the couch in Pierce's Mom's house. His mom is hosting Thanksgiving and we are the first to arrive. I really wish Pierce and Jos would show up, I want a distraction from Shari. I will even put up with Jos's massive pregnancy mood swings. I think I need to break up with Shari, it's not right how I feel.

"Nothing Shari, just a bit tired I guess." I lie.

Pierce's mom, Jennifer, comes out and places a tray of cheese and crackers out for us. I shrug off Shari and lean over and grab some food from the white porcelain platter on the coffee table.

"So, Corbin, I'm glad you and Shari could make it today. I thought with Luna, you wouldn't show up."

Jennifer sits across from the couch, which I can only assume is 'her' chair as that seems to be the only one I ever see her sit in.

What is she talking about with Luna? Why would I be upset about that, we broke up a year and half ago and it's been that long since she's been here.

"I'm afraid I don't follow Miss Carver. Why would Luna bother me?"

Jennifer squints her eyes and then widens them in surprise. Both Shari and I are looking at her curiously.

"Oh hon, I thought you knew. Luna, she's back. She is going to be here for Thanksgiving dinner. Coming with Pierce and Jos. I thought you knew."

What? Wait, wait-- what? But she's in Minnesota, not here. This must be a mistake. Pierce would have told me. Wouldn't he?

"I don't understand, last I heard --and I talked to Pierce a week ago-- she was still in Minnesota."

My hands are becoming slick with stress and the more Shari rubs my neck, the more irritating it becomes. I shrug my shoulders trying to get her to stop, which she finally does. I lean closer to the edge of the couch as if that will make me understand the situation better.

"Why didn't Pierce tell me? I...I don't understand."

Jennifer looks nervous but becomes distracted when a knock comes on the door and then it swings open. I hear Jos and look over to see her belly before I see her peep out from the door.

"It's fine Pierce. Your mom is expecting us. I have to go pee so I am sorry if I just can't wait for someone to open the door!"

Jos duck walks into the house stopping to give Jennifer, who has gotten up and is making her way to the entrance, a kiss on the cheek and then walks past to the bathroom on the other side of the stairs. Pierce follows, then stops his mom at the doorway to give her a hug.

"Hey mom, sorry about bursting in, you know Jos."

He lifts from the hug smiling at his mom who is beaming back at him.

"No worries son. A pregnant woman's bladder waits for no man, or woman as the case may be. Where's Luna?"

Jennifer looks past Pierce.

"She's grabbing the food from the car. She should be here shortly."

Pierce walks in and I immediately glare at him. He gives a weak smile in response and then looks at the floor, then down the hall, finally he says, "Oh hey Corbin, Shari! I gotta go check on Jos."

He darts away. That bastard!

"Oh Luna! Here let me help you. It's so wonderful to see you hon!"

Jennifer reaches past the door and then turns back inside with a tray in her hand. That's when I see her. It's been so long and all I can think is how beautiful she still is. It's only been a year and a half, but I wanted her to change. I want to feel as if time has passed her-- us-- by. Getting over her was the hardest thing I have ever done. I'll admit I was quite the asshole for a while. Even Pierce got irritated at me, many times.

I just started to become more of my old self, which I think has a lot to do with Shari. She is so gentle and understanding. When I talked to her about Luna I think she could sympathize. She told me about a lost love from years ago who moved to London. Perhaps we help each other. I can only hope.

But, now I look at Luna and it's like Shari has melted away. That's awful, so awful. I want to look at Luna and feel nothing, maybe even sympathy for the loss of her father, nothing more. But, I can't. Oh god I'm in trouble.

I feel Shari's hand squeeze mine and it snaps me back into reality. I gaze at her and she is smiling, but not with her eyes. Shari is nervous; she knows what I'm feeling. I've let down my guard and now it's hurting her. I try to quickly give her a supportive smile, but I don't think she buys it as her eyes move to the floor and she sighs.

I've got to make this right. Shari has been great to me and I'm going to make sure I don't hurt her. She has had enough heartache from men. I'll just keep my distance from Luna and stay at Shari's side.

"Corbin." The sweet harmonic sounds of Luna's voice cause my head to turn and see her standing right in front of me. Her simple brown wrap dress hugs her body in all the right ways causing the world around her to disappear. My heart is racing and hearing her say my name is causing my chest to crack.

"Luna. I..uh..didn't realize you would be here. I had no idea you came back."

I clear my throat hoping it helps my voice sound more neutral. She is smiling at me, but I can tell she is nervous as she crosses her arm over herself, grabbing at her opposite elbow. Her gaze switches between me and Shari and then back to me.

"Yeah, I've been here a few days. Decided a few weeks ago to move back when I found a job here. I start on Monday. Working for a photographer, decided to follow my dream. Anyway, I thought Pierce would have told you I moved back. Well, I just wanted to come say hi before I head into the kitchen to help Pierce's mom."

She is now looking directly at Shari.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't introduced you to...um...my girlfriend, Shari. Shari this is Luna, a ... friend."

I wince internally as I am saying the words. All I can see is the painful expression on both Luna and Shari as they shake hands.

"Nice to finally meet you Luna. Corbin has told me so much about you."

Luna smiles and looks at me, then back at Shari.

"It's nice to meet you too Shari. I haven't seen Corbin in a long time, but Jos has said many lovely things about you. I can't wait to get to know you better."

As I turn my view from Shari back to Luna I notice her gaze returns to mine. Her eyes the color of an ancient pool of water in the highlands of Scotland, are locked on me. I feel heat start to rise and settle deep inside where I know it shouldn't. Her eyes always held this power over me. The night I met her I remember I couldn't look away. She was so far from me, on another floor of the club, but when she glanced up at me that night I felt the room fade and only those brilliant blues remain.

It's happening again, all is dissolving and just Luna is here with me. Her breath picks up as her chest rise and falls more rapidly. I start to lift my hand to run my fingers through her hair. It's longer than before and I want to enjoy the feel of its softness. But, before I can we are interrupted with a voice.

"Luna, hon! Can you help me with the potatoes?" Jennifer yells from the kitchen. Luna startles and her eyes flicker between me and Shari, before clearing her throat. She turns her head to the kitchen and answers before turning back,

"Of course Miss Carver, I'm on my way. It is nice to meet you Shari. I...um...well...I've got to help Jennifer."

With a nod she turns to walk back toward the kitchen and finally out of sight. I release a breath I haven't known I was holding. Shari let go of my hand that I forgot she had. I look over at her as she walks around the couch to the bay window overlooking the street.

Fuck!

Part of me wants to reassure Shari, go over to her, wrap my arms around her and tell her I'm with her. Am I though? Just ten minutes ago I was debating with myself to break up with her. Now that the woman I have been in love with for over two years comes walking back into my life and I want to make it work with someone else?

Perhaps I should listen to the other part of me that wants to run after Luna, into the kitchen and help her with those potatoes. So, what do I do?

I turn and walk toward the woman I should be with, my palms still slick as I rub the back of my neck in irritation. Walking to her I stop, about to turn around, but shake my head. No, I'm better than that. She turns and is startled that I am facing her.

"Corbin, I thought you went into the kitchen. Why didn't you go after her?"

Shari knows. She just does. Shari would probably go after her great love if the roles were reversed. I think that's why she is confused I am standing in front of her. But, despite our torn hearts, she cares for me and I know it would hurt her if I went after Luna. I'm not going to do that to her.

"Because she isn't my girlfriend, you are. I invited you to the dinner and I hope you still want to be here with me?"

I place my hands on her shoulders while I stare into her large brown eyes like the color of a fallen leaf in autumn. She is sighing again, her gaze searching me and then over to the kitchen as if deciding something herself. Shari nods and opens her arms as we embrace. Despite her little personality tics that as of late are getting to me, I do care for her. She is a smart, sweet and kind woman. There is much comfort in her touch and at times I wish it to be more.