His Bonnie Bride (32 page)

It was with great effort that she put aside what she felt was harmful self-pity. There was too much to do and she needed strength to face it all. If nothing else, her father would at least gain a good reason for why she had refused two attractive betrothal offers, begged him not to make the arrangements, and continued to dampen the interest of any and all young men who looked her way. She was lucky she had a father who allowed her such scandalous freedom in the matter of choosing a husband.

She grimaced as she thought of those young men. There had been a few who had thought her free for the grabbing, but mostly it seemed her stay with the MacLagans and her undoubted loss of chastity was accepted as a battle casualty. She suspected her family's wealth and power had a great deal to do with that unusual tolerance. So, too, the fact that her father let most any man court her if she had no objections, asking only that the man she chose be a good man. Many a landless knight saw what a rare opportunity that was. The tolerance was nice all the same, no matter what lay behind it.

She had, however, not even tried to soften toward one of the suitors. Although any could accept that she had lost her chastity, she was certain none of them would accept a MacLagan bastard. Neither could she take a husband when her heart and passion were still held captive at Caraidland.

Straightening her shoulders, she told herself firmly to cease dawdling and tell her father. She did not get very far before she decided to speak to Elaine first. It would not hurt to have an ally.

A faint smile touched her mouth when she found Elaine with her young half-brothers. The woman spent as much time with them as possible. Lady Mary's two sons were already accepting her as their mother, soaking up the love they had never gotten from their own mother.

Within a week after their return from Caraidland, her father had wed Elaine, ignoring the sweet woman's plea to wait for a decent mourning period to pass. Despite her time as Eldon's mistress, Elaine was a very modest, proper lady. What she had done had been out of love, aided by the certainty that Eldon's marriage was no real marriage at all, that she was not stealing a man from a woman who loved or even wanted him. Her acceptance at Hagaleah had been immediate, and she did not bemoan the hastiness of her marriage any longer.

After a brief tussle with her brothers Storm gently sent them from the room. She stared at a curious Elaine for a moment as she searched for the right words. Announcing that she was carrying a MacLagan bastard was no easy thing to do. Storm doubted that there was any way to break such news gently.

"I am with child."

Elaine stared at her husband's eldest child. As the meaning of Storm's words slowly penetrated. Elaine's soft gray eyes began to widen. She paled slightly, for she could already hear the crash of swords as Eldon and MacLagan hurled themselves at each other.

"Are you certain, child?"

"Very certain, Elaine." She took the woman's hand and placed it upon her belly, smiling faintly when her increasingly active child moved beneath Elaine's touch and the woman gasped.

"Oh dear God, this cannot be."

"So I have said, over and over and over again, but my belly continues to round. I must tell Papa."

"Aye, but how? He has not e'en spoken of what must have happened to you. Methinks he tries to ignore it. This will ensure that he cannot. That no one can."

"He will be in a rage. There is no doubting that. I was hoping you would aid me in the cooling of it."

"Can it be cooled? This is no small thing, child. He will wish for blood to avenge the shame."

"Please, do not say shame." Storm's hands covered her belly as if to protect her child from hearing the words. "My child ..."

Putting her hands over Storm's, Elaine said quietly, "I speak not of the child. The child is innocent, though many think not. I speak of the abuse of you, an innocent hostage."

"I was not abused, Elaine."

For a moment Elaine stared at Storm, then she asked softly, "Did you go to the man willingly?"

"Nay, not truly. I asked that he leave me be. Only asked, though, Elaine, for I knew that I had no will to push him away. I asked that he show the strength I did not have, is all."

"You love him?"

"Aye, though he feels not the same, is naught but a wencher. I looked to him when Father came to get me, but he said not a word, just let me go. Will ye speak to Papa with me?"

" 'Tis not really my place," Elaine murmured, aching to help the girl, but not wishing to step beyond what was her right as Roden's third wife.

"That is foolishness. Ye are family. I do not ask that ye speak for me or take sides, only that ye come with me to ensure that our tempers do not make this more of a woe than it is."

With an inner grimace, Elaine thought of the confrontation to come. It would be loud and the language blunt, perhaps vitriolic. She had always known that Roden was a man of strong emotion, but in her short time at Hagaleah she had come to realize just how strong. His children were as he was. Even the worst of outbursts was tempered by love, however, and slowly she was adjusting to the abundance of life at Hagaleah, to all that unfettered emotion. She did not know if she was ready for as great a confrontation as this one promised to be, but she nodded, willing to face it for Storm's sake.

Storm smiled in relief and gently teased, "One would think ye are afraid, Elaine."

"I am some. Not of ye or Roden, but I am unused to your ways as yet."

"You mean our bellowing and ranting."

Elaine laughed softly. "Mayhaps I do. I am not yet accustomed to such honesty of emotion."

"It can be difficult. Shall we go and put this confrontation behind us?"

They reluctantly went to speak to Lord Eldon. Neither doubted how he would react to such news. The only question they had was whether or not they could stop him from racing to Caraidland, a sword in his hands and blood in his eyes, eager to spit any MacLagan that came to hand.

A thousand words tumbled through Storm's mind as she faced her father, but they refused to form into coherent and clever sentences. Her father had never spoken to her of her stay at Caraidland, except to have her assure him that she felt no need for vengeance, had not been treated cruelly in any way. He did seem to wish to ignore the fact that she had been Tavis MacLagan's lover, even though he must have been told. Now she would have to tear away those blinders, tell him that there was proof of her dishonoring that a blind man could not ignore. It hurt her to think of how it was going to hurt him.

For a brief moment she thought of Tavis, then inwardly cursed. He had made it very clear that he was done with her. It was past time that she was done with him. The man had brought her only trouble and woe and now that woe was going to reach out and pull in the rest of her family. A bastard was a hard thing to hide.

But it did not have to be a bastard, she suddenly thought. She was fairly certain that she could count on Colin MacLagan to support her if she demanded the MacLagan name for her child. Things might not be as dismal as she had thought. It would be hard to be Tavis's wife in name only, but for the welfare of her child she would do so. Even though he would be a Scottish man's child living amongst the English, it would be better than being a Scottish man's bastard in the same place. The fact that his grandfather would be Lord Roden Eldon would help a great deal. "Did you come here to speak to me or just to stare at me?" Lord Eldon drawled, smiling a little at his wife and only daughter, who had entered the small room he often used to confer with his steward, a servant he lacked at the moment. "There is a reason for this visit, I presume?"

"Aye, Papa," Storm said quietly. "I fear there is a reason, and ye will not be liking it much."

Eldon tensed. Looking closely at the women made him tense even more. There was only one thing left that could happen to Storm. He had not forgotten how her time at Caraidland had been spent, and now he felt sure that she was about to tell him that they had not been able to leave that woe behind when they had ridden away.

Storm could see the realization harden her father's face. "Papa, I am with child."

"I will kill the bastard. Slowly."

Elaine and Storm put themselves between him and the door when he made to leave. Storm thought he looked very much like a raging bull as he stood before them. She felt sure he would never hurt her or Elaine, but it was unnerving to stand firm before so much fury. The extent of his anger made her fear that nothing she or Elaine could say or do would quell it.

"And what will that accomplish, Papa?" she asked softly.

"It will avenge this loss of honor."

"How? I doubt not that it might make ye feel better, but I will gain naught from it."

"This insult to us cannot go unpunished," he growled as he began to angrily pace the room.

"Spilling blood will not gain me back my lost maidenhead nor take this babe from my belly. All it will do is kill men, mayhaps ye or Drew or someone else I love."

" 'Tis the way of things to avenge insult with bloodshed," he bellowed.

"I do not give one pile of cow droppings for the way of the world," she yelled back.

"Curse you, girl, the man abused you ..."

"Seduced me."

"What matter? He ..."

"And he did not have to seduce me too hard," she finished softly. "Hardly at all."

Whirling about, he stared at her. "What say you? You willingly bedded him?"

"He bedded me. My unwillingness was that I asked him not to. That is all. I but tried to stop what could not be stopped. If he had but waited and wooed me, he still would have had me. He only rushed matters."

"Was he the only one?" he asked tautly.

"Aye, Papa. The child I carry is Tavis MacLagan's. It can be no other man's. He was the only one to touch me in all the time I was at Caraidland." She fleetingly thought of Sholto's attempt to seduce her and decided she was not really lying.

"By God, I should have cut the man down whilst I was there."

"Why?" She blushed slightly, but knew it was a time for complete honesty. "For taking what was his more or less for the asking? I could not refuse him. Papa. I knew that ere he touched me. 'Twas why I asked him not to, not because I did not want him but because I did. Can ye really justify cutting a man down because of that? He awaited the ransom first."

"I know," Eldon spat out, his fury at his late wife briefly renewed. "Are you speaking the full truth, Storm, or do you tell me what you hope will stop a battle?"

"I tell you the full truth, Papa. Then, too, I do not wish a battle, for I have friends at Caraidland, good friends who helped me, and though I might ne'er see them again, I can fear for them."

"And I owe them your life." His voice revealed how much he wished he did not owe that debt, for it did work to tie his hands, made it easier for her to talk him out of a rightful vengeance.

"Well, they owe me Colin's life and his sword arm. I think such debts are well paid on either side. In truth, 'tis they who owe us, for Hugh came very close to slaughtering the lot of them."

"Then I can cut the bastard down and not feel guilty," he said, and watched her very closely, easily reading her paleness and stricken look. "You love him."

"Aye," she answered quietly. "I fear I do 'Twas foolish of me, for the feeling was ne'er returned. He has but one use for women. He chose badly the first time he gave his heart, and I think he decided to lock it away. He was kind to me, Papa. I simply wanted more than he had to give. Ye cannot cut a man down for that either."

"So he lives and you are left with a bastard soon to be born."

"We can care for the child, Roden," Elaine said, relieved that there had not been as great an uproar as she had feared. "Mayhaps if we plan carefully, it could be hidden in some way, disguised."

"Nay. That rarely works. If the secret does not slip out, then the secrecy turns about to hurt the child."

"Papa, I have one idea," Storm ventured warily.

"Why do I feel I will not like this?"

"I could wed Tavis MacLagan."

Eldon gave vent to a string of colorful curses as he renewed his pacing of the room. Elaine blushed furiously while Storm smiled faintly with amusement. Her father had a way with words.

She frowned then, her amusement fading as she continued to watch her father pace the room, venting his frustrated rage. It did not look at all promising. Her father looked less amiable with each step he took. He did not look at all accommodating. She feared she would be proven right, that her father's tolerance would stop at the thought of his only daughter being wed to a MacLagan. Storm doubted that it would help at all that she intended a marriage in name only. That she and his first grandchild would carry that name would probably seem to him like one long slap in the face, inflicting its sting every time he looked upon her or her child.

"Papa, if ye would just heed me for a moment ..." she began with false courage.

"Heed you?" He glared at her, not truly angry with her, but needing some tangible target for his frustrated rage. "With each word you say I but ache all the more to run the bastard through with my sword, but you cry nay ere I speak on it."

"Because it will help naught. There would be no gain, only loss. Dear friends and kin would die, but I would still be here, still unwed and with child. Now, an I wed Tavis ..."

"No daughter of mine will e'er wed a MacLagan."

"But, Papa, it would give my child a name, take away the taint of bastardy."

"Better to be a bastard than a MacLagan."

"But, Papa, 'tis the child who will suffer more for being a bastard than I will for bearing him. Aye, he may suffer for carrying the name MacLagan, but at least he would have a name, would be fighting for the name he did carry and not for not carrying one at all. All I ask is to give him a name."

"Fine. Give him one, but not the cursed name of MacLagan."

Before she could argue further he firmly, if gently, pushed her and Elaine out of the way of the door and then started to leave. Storm found it hard to believe that he would deny her the chance to try for legitimacy for her child. Shaking free of that shock, she hurried after him, a worried Elaine at her heels. She had to keep trying to change his mind.