Authors: Shelly Thacker
Tags: #Medieval Romance, #Fantasy, #USA Today Bestselling Author
Artois Region, France
A
vril parted her lips for her husband’s kiss, welcoming him to their bed.
Gerard
, mon coeur,
thank God you have returned at last
...
His weight pressed her down into the sheets, his hard body covering and claiming hers, and she twined her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, filled with surprise and joy. He nuzzled her cheek, her hair, whispered words she had not heard in such a long time. Words of love.
You are here
. She sighed, all the months of longing and loneliness pouring out.
I thought you were gone forever,
mon amour,
but you are here. Never leave me again. Please never leave me again. I missed you so.
He tenderly kissed her tears away. She held him tighter, his skin warm and smooth beneath her fingers, her lips. Their mouths met in deep, lingering kisses. His strong hands touched her intimately, each caress slower than the last as he gently aroused her.
Moaning softly, she lifted her hips, wanting to take him inside her.
Please
, mon coeur,
it has been so long. I need... I need
...
He nudged her thighs apart, positioning himself there at the silky core of her body. Then he raised his head, and in the firelight she could see the passion in—
This was not her husband!
Lady Avril de Varennes jerked awake with a startled cry, eyes wide, heart pounding. She lurched upright, uncertain where she was for a dizzying moment.
A dream. It had only been a dream.
The same one that had tormented her for months now... growing more vivid, more sensual each time.
She pushed aside the blankets and stumbled out of bed, her silk kirtle tangling around her legs. Rushes crunched beneath her bare feet. A few embers still glowed on the hearth, helping her eyes adjust to the darkness. With every rapid breath, she inhaled the scent of the lavender oil she had burned earlier to calm her. Of course, she was in Gaston and Celine’s chateau, in one of the guest bedchambers. She had arrived here yestereve. She was quite safe.
And alone. As she had been for three years, four months, a handful of days.
Yet her body tingled in the most sensitive places, and perspiration made her kirtle cling to her back, her thighs, her breasts. Lifting an unsteady hand to her lips, she swore she could feel the lingering heat of a kiss there. And on her cheeks, a trace of dampness, like...
Like tears that had been kissed away.
She covered her face with both hands, her wedding ring cold against her flushed skin. The sensations had all felt so real, so intense, so...
Mortifying.
How could she dream of making love to any man but her husband?
“Nay,” she whispered fiercely, raking her long brown hair out of her eyes, lifting her chin. “It was only a dream.” She was getting upset over naught. Crossing the chamber, she opened the door that connected to the next room.
Inside, bathed in moonlight that poured through a tall, arched window fitted with glass, Giselle lay asleep—her thumb in her mouth, her plump arm curled around the carved toy horse her uncle Gaston had given her.
Avril sank down beside the small bed, resting her cheek on the covers, reaching out to touch her three-year-old daughter’s raven curls. Many times these past weeks she had spent sleepless nights this way, disturbed not only by that troubling dream—but by the decision she had made.
“We will be all right,
ma petite
,” she murmured. “You will love your new home in Brittany, I promise. And your uncle Gaston is wrong. We do not need a man to take care of us.”
She closed her eyes, hoping that was true, praying she was not making a mistake. Not acting like a “stubborn little firebrand,” as Gerard used to chide her with a teasing, handsome smile.
Her throat dry and tight, Avril stood, moving to the window, gazing down at the forest that surrounded the chateau. She looked for the chapel Gaston had built there. Normally she could see a great deal from here, but tonight, despite the full moon, she could make out only the uppermost branches of the trees.
A mist enveloped all else, a silvery fog that wound through the woods to surround the castle.
Strange, she thought, frowning in puzzlement, to see fog on such high ground. Especially at this time of year. The last days of summer had only just given way to the first bite of autumn.
Yet the veil of white was so thick she could see only the spire of the small chapel, there where she and Gaston had agreed it should be... built of the finest marble and the most exquisite stained glass, by artisans brought from the East, as befitted a knight who had fought in the Crusades. Gerard always loved Moorish architecture, as he loved those woods where he had spent many happy days as a boy.
They had buried him there.
Three years, four months, and a handful of days ago.
“Forgive me,
mon coeur
.” She rested her forehead against the window, blinking hard. “Forgive me.”
Even as the words slipped out, she was not certain whether she was asking forgiveness for the bold step she was about to take.
Or for her dream about the passionate stranger.
~ ~ ~
“Avril, I do not care how skilled you are with a crossbow—and pray do
not
remind me that you took up arms last month and stood shoulder to shoulder with your retainers to defend your keep against the Flemish. You are a noblewoman, you are but three and twenty, and when you travel such a distance—”
“I do not need half a dozen guards.” Avril stopped trying to elude her brother-in-law, turning to stare up at Duc Gaston de Varennes in the blinding morning sunlight. Servants dodged around them, carrying bundles of food and flasks of water needed for her journey north. As she crossed her arms over her chest, the wind tugged at her honey-colored traveling cloak and velvet skirts. “I am going to a friend’s wedding, not into battle. I still do not understand why you insist on being so cautious.”
“I insist on ensuring your safety.” Gaston glowered down at her, looking very much like the name he had earned in battle: the Black Lion. The fact that he carried his two-year-old son, Soren, on his broad shoulders did little to soften the impression. “The northern roads are a haven for outlaws of every ilk. Six men riding under my banner will make any knave who would harm you think twice. You are still under my care, and I mean to protect you, just as I will protect your daughter while you are gone—nay, I will brook no further argument.”
“I was not going to argue,” Avril said softly, glancing away. With his black hair and brown eyes, Gaston so resembled his elder brother that at times, it hurt to look at him. “I was going to thank you for caring so much.”
All around them, the castle’s outer bailey hummed with activity as servants continued loading the cart that would carry her north, adding gifts for the bride and for friends Avril had not seen in years. Her dearest companion from childhood, Lady Josette de la Valentin, stood chatting with Gaston’s wife, Celine, while groomsmen strapped horses into the traces. Josette had arrived from Brittany yesterday to accompany Avril on the journey.
And after the wedding of their mutual friend, Avril would accompany Josette on her journey home. To Brittany.
“I still wish you would reconsider your decision,” Gaston said more gently. “As far as I am concerned, Gerard’s castle and holdings are yours for as long as you live. You know that you and Giselle are welcome to stay there. My brother
built
that chateau for you.”
“Aye, he did. And there are reminders of him in every room. I cannot keep living in the past, Gaston. I cannot stay there anymore.” She met his gaze again. “I thought you would be happy,
beau-frère
. I have finally admitted that you are right. My recent experience with the Flemish proved that what you have been saying is true—the chateau is too close to the border, too tempting a prize without a man to protect it. And your keep here is too distant to send help quickly enough.”
“I never meant that you should leave and return to your dower lands in Brittany.” Gaston set his restless son down. The little boy scampered over to a nearby grove of apricot trees, where Giselle was playing with a litter of black-and-white kittens. “Celine and I are happy to take care of you and Giselle.”
“And I am grateful to you for being so good to us.” She sighed, tucking a wind-blown strand of hair back behind her ear. “But Gerard’s chateau and lands belong to you by right of inheritance, Gaston, and it is time I gave them back—”
“You could stay here.”
“Nay, I could not.” She nodded toward the spire just visible beyond the castle walls, struggling to keep her voice steady. “The memories here are just as strong.”
She started to turn away, but he caught her arm. “Why is it so impossible for you to let anyone take care of you?”
Avril was spared having to reply as Josette and Celine joined them.
“It looks as if all is ready for us to depart.” Josette’s blue eyes sparkled with excitement as she wrestled the wind for control of her hooded traveling cloak, which was made of lovely—but somewhat impractical—violet brocade and white silk. “Though I fear this weather may prove more troublesome than any forest bandits we might encounter.” Giving up her battle, she let the wind blow her unruly curls into a tangled sable-brown mass.
Avril smiled. She and Josette shared a spirit of adventure that had made them best friends since birth, even though petite Josette tended to be sweet and amiable while she herself was more outspoken and headstrong.
“Have you explained to Giselle how long you’ll be away?” Celine’s cheeks almost matched her red tresses in the chilly morning breeze. Gaston slipped an arm around his wife’s shoulders and brushed a kiss through her burnished hair.
“I have tried.” Avril glanced to where the children were playing. “But I am not sure she understands what ten days means. So I have made ten raisin sweetcakes for her, and said to eat one each day, and when the last one is gone,
Maman
will be home.”
“What a lovely idea.”
“Thank you, Celine. I hope it will help. She always loves our visits here, and I think she believes this is simply another holiday. I considered taking her with me, but...”
“You made the right decision, Avril. She’ll be safe here, and she and Soren always have such fun. We’ll take good care of her.”
“I know.” Avril smiled at her
belle-soeur
. “She loves you both very much. But even with those she loves, she can be rather willful at times.”
“I cannot imagine where she inherited that trait,” Gaston commented dryly. After giving his wife a last hug, he released her. “If you ladies will excuse me, I would have a word with the guards before this merry caravan departs.”
As he walked over to his men, Celine linked one arm through Avril’s and the other through Josette’s. “And I would like to sit down, if it’s all right with the two of you. I didn’t want to worry Gaston—because he’ll spend the rest of the day hovering over me like a very large butterfly—but I’m feeling a little light-headed this morning.”
“Oh, Celine, I am sorry. I should have thought of that when we decided to leave at first light.” Avril steered her
belle-soeur
toward the grove of apricot trees, still feeling a pang of envy over the joyous news Celine had shared last night: She was expecting her second child. “How are you faring?”
They settled on the grass a few paces from the children. “Much better, really, than when I was carrying Soren. I feel wonderful most of the time.” Celine’s expression was blissfully happy as she watched her son chasing his cousin through the trees. “A little woozy in the mornings, but that just gives me an excuse to stay in bed. I lie there looking at the new cradle Gaston is making, and I feel so blessed...”
She stopped short and met Avril’s gaze. “Oh, Avril, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Nay, it is all right.” Avril blinked away the burning in her eyes, surprised by the intensity of the envy she felt. “It is only that, sometimes, I wish...” She looked up at Giselle, at the small miracle she and Gerard had created, so full of love and laughter and mischief.
“You wish that Giselle were not growing up an only child, as you did,” Josette finished quietly.
Avril nodded, dropping her gaze. The wind blowing through the leaves overhead made the only sound for a moment.
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Celine whispered. “You’re still young.” She leaned closer and took Avril’s hand. “You once told me that if I found love, I should catch it close and hold it tight.” She looked across the bailey at her husband, her expression tender. “And it was very good advice.”
“I remember.” Avril paused, squeezing Celine’s hand. “But I-I do not think anyone could replace Gerard in my heart. For a long time, I thought I would be happy if I simply stayed in that chateau, if I kept everything as it was. That I... could keep him with me somehow. I have always believed that there is
one
special man for every woman... and God granted me mine. For a brief, perfect time, I knew a love some never know. I would not be so selfish and greedy as to expect Him to send me another love like that in my lifetime.”