HIS Desire: An H.I.S. Novel (H.I.S. series Book 1) (17 page)

Before they turned in for the night, Jesse engulfed her in his arms and gave her a light kiss on the lips like he had at his house. Why hadn’t he given her a heated kiss? A kiss to curl her toes? Probably because she’d been crying. Joy hadn’t deserved to die.

He leaned his forehead against hers. “I can’t wait until I get you naked, Kate, so I can worship your body, but tonight’s not that night.”

He wiped tears from her face. “Would you like me to hold you until you fall asleep?”

Did she? Yes. The comfort and safety she felt with him would be welcome. She didn’t want to be alone with her grief. “I’d really like that.”

He led her to her room and prepared the bed while she changed into a large t-shirt and shorts. She nervously climbed into bed and watched him strip to his boxer shorts. His body was magnificent. She couldn’t help but stare.

“Not tonight, sweetheart. You’ve had a hell of a day. Let me just hold you.” He climbed in beside her and drew her into his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder and relaxed. Thoughts of Joy dying because of her vanished as she fell asleep with his hand running through her hair.

* * * * *

“Good morning, sunshine.”

After entering the kitchen, Kate accepted the cup of coffee Jesse offered her. Dottie rushed to her from Jesse’s side. Her dog usually waited by, if not on, the bed until she woke each morning. She’d taken to following Jesse, responding to his commands. Traitor.

He’d showered, shaved and had started cooking breakfast. This was not the same man she’d seen in previous mornings.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes over the rim of her cup. “Who are you, and what have you done with the grumpy man I’m used to in the mornings?”

She’d waken alone and wondered how long he’d unselfishly stayed with her.

He chuckled and turned to the stove. “I do hate mornings, but this morning I woke up refreshed and decided to get a head start.”

She took another sip of coffee. “Get a head start on what?”

He cracked eggs in a bowl and picked up a whisk. “Just the day, sweetheart. Have a seat. The newspaper’s on the table. Breakfast will be ready shortly.”

With her cup refilled, she took a seat at the table. It felt good to have someone take care of her for a change. Especially Jesse.

The poisoning made the front page. The fact that she’d been the target had leaked out. Her chances of going undercover locally just ended since they’d printed her photo with the article.

“I unplugged the phone, so you won’t have to deal with reporters today. And no one is getting past my men.”

She took a deep breath and nodded. “Thanks.”

When Jesse sat, she asked what had been bothering her, “Don’t you find it odd that he sent poisoned chocolates to try to kill me?”

Jesse nodded. “AJ and I talked about that. He couldn’t be sure you’d eat them. Plus, poison is usually a woman’s drug of choice. Not what we’d expect from a high profile killer.”

She stopped with the fork at her mouth. A woman. Oh God. She took her bite and chewed it slowly. Was it possible that Elizabeth went through with her threat? No. She may have talked tough, but Kate didn’t see her as the killer type. Yet, people surprised the hell out of her all the time.

The Facilitator hadn’t attached a note this time. But if he had, he’d know that she wouldn’t have eaten them. What if they weren’t from him? How would Jesse react to her suspicion of Elizabeth? She had to tell him. What if Elizabeth was Joy’s killer?

“Jesse, you should know that Elizabeth threatened me. She said she’d do anything to have you.”

He laughed. “I can’t believe she threatened you. She’s harmless. She wouldn’t even know how to get ahold of poison. No, our boy is taking risks, and with the exception of you, he doesn’t care who he kills. The shooting was another example of that. Anyone could have been on that sidewalk.”

He knew Elizabeth better than she did. Still, she’d talk with AJ and have her checked out. “What about the delivery guy? What did he say about who paid him to deliver the chocolate?”

He stood, taking his plate to the sink and refilling his coffee. “He works for The Gift Tree. And, no, they didn’t send him here. When AJ and Trent got to his apartment, it looked like he’d done a rushed job of packing. He’s on the run, but the FBI is watching his apartment. He’ll turn up, and, hopefully, he can identify the man who poisoned Joy.

“AJ still hasn’t found the driver for the shooting. They’re watching Ed’s place for when he returns. I’ve got Joe working on his trail to find out where he is now instead of waiting until he comes back. He has a good lead.” His whole face spread into a smile. “We’re not much of a watch and wait group like the FBI.”

She appreciated the team of hot-bodied men dug in deep when it came to solving a case, like a kidnapping a few months ago. If anyone or anything could be found, they’d find it or them. “What are we doing today?”

“Whatever you want to do, as long as it’s indoors. If you can’t think of anything, I have a suggestion or two.” He raised and lowered his eyebrows a few times in a suggestive manner.

The amusement in his eyes brought out a surprised laugh from her. “I need to do some cleaning.”

He set his cup down. “I’ll help.”

Cleaning allowed her to clear her mind and think about the important things in her life. She needed to put serious thought into her future. Even if her hand healed properly and she could remain a field agent, should she? Or, should she leave the FBI and work with Ariana at Ross Communication?

Being a field agent had been more satisfying than she had imagined it would be. She liked her partner, and the camaraderie of her fellow agents. Bringing criminals to justice was extremely fulfilling.

Was her place truly at her sister’s side though? She knew a little about the operation because she’d worked there in the summers throughout college. With Ariana teaching her, she could swiftly learn everything she needed to know.

The choice between what she wanted to do and what she probably should do tormented her. Was there a right answer?

She finished cleaning, making her decision. It felt right.

* * * * *

Kate’s menu consisted of themed meals, a different one for each day of the week. Today was Jesse’s favorite - good ole American food day. He put marinated steaks on the grill on the rooftop deck, smiling at her attempt to join him. He’d agreed it was doubtful that the killer waited across the street on the off chance she decided to grill, but he would not take a chance on her life.

He’d been happy to see a bit of his feisty girl when he’d said
no
. Then she’d withdrawn again, grieving for Joy.

He took a long drink of his beer. Yesterday, Kate hadn’t pushed him away when he’d kissed her, held her hand and offered to hold her for the night. Having her body next to him all night and not making love to her had been pure torture.

After his wife died, he’d promised himself he’d never get close to a woman again. He’d experienced pain no one should have to bare. Especially, not twice in a lifetime. Kate had changed all of that. Without even trying, she’d cracked the barrier he’d built, the barrier around his heart. He had to tread lightly from here, or he’d find himself in the unthinkable position of being in love. But would it be so bad if it was Kate he fell for?

He didn’t love her, but he cared more for her than anyone since his wife. The way he’d felt thinking she could have eaten one of the poisoned chocolates frightened him. It had torn at his gut and his heart. He had to do a better job of protecting her. He couldn’t lose her.

* * * * *

Jesse poured Kate another glass of wine and asked about her adoption.

Something inside her urged her to open up to him, share it all. But, she didn’t want the inevitable pity after she finished her story. Not from him.

“My birth parents were Nancy and Tom Miles.” She took a deep breath, holding back the tears. Even though she couldn’t remember her parents or the shooting, it still hurt knowing she’d lost them before she’d had a chance to know them. It hurt knowing what happened to them, knowing what happened to her.

“Because I had no living relatives who could care for me, foster parents were arranged for me to live with when I was released from the hospital. My parents’ accountant called the Ross family knowing they wouldn’t squander my inheritance. At first they were afraid that my parents’ killer would try to find me and kill me too, but apparently, he’d done his job. I wasn’t part of the plan.”

“You were lucky you had a good advocate with the right contacts. I’ve heard stories of children being lost in the system. Being moved from home to home, some of them in abusive situations.”

She shuddered when she thought about those poor children. She’d wanted to be a foster parent, then maybe adopt, but her job prevented her from committing. She couldn’t think of giving a child a home, and then ripping it away from them if she died in the line of duty. And that was always a possibility.

“Yes, I was very lucky. The Rosses treated me the same as they did Ariana. When I was six, they adopted me. They, of course, saved my inheritance for me. They paid for my college themselves. When I graduated college, they bought me a car and turned over my inheritance. Most of it is still there.” She didn’t mind living off of her FBI salary. She had plenty of designer and luxury items purchased for her by the Rosses. She didn’t care the new things she purchased weren’t top designer labels. Being self-sufficient mattered. She knew both sets of parents would be proud of her.

“I heard you became a millionaire at the death of Jay and Kelly Ross. That you and Ariana were left everything. They didn’t leave anything to any other relatives.”

“Yes, the inheritance was split between us. I know Mom and Dad loved me like I was their own, but I feel guilty about them leaving me half of everything. I expected most of everything would be left to Ariana. I haven’t touched the money. If I need anything, I’ll dig into my birth parents’ inheritance. My share of the Ross inheritance will go to Ariana when I die. She’s the one who works hard at growing the business. She’s their true daughter. She deserves it.”

Ariana hadn’t agreed with Kate on how her will had been written, but Kate knew she was relieved no stranger would come in and tear apart her family’s company. It meant everything to Ariana.

“You shouldn’t feel guilty about their leaving you an equal share as Ariana. In their mind, you were their real daughter too.”

Kate sighed. “I know what you’re saying is true, but it still doesn’t dissolve the guilt I feel.”

Kate wondered what made her share the depth of her feelings about being left the inheritance with Jesse. She hadn’t shared this emotional conflict with anyone, not even her close friends. Sharing with him felt right. Things with him were getting more complicated.

* * * * *

After dinner, they watched a romantic comedy. Jesse wondered what Kate thought during the pseudo sex scenes. His mind filled with thoughts of her tasty lips. Thinking of his mouth on her lips and trailing them down her silky neck had blood rushing to his groin. He didn’t want to shift to get comfortable and scare her. Tonight had to be the night.

After the movie and the news, they stood to go to bed. She didn’t stop him when his arms slid around her and drew her close. His lips melted over hers, savoring her taste, the heat of her mouth, and the stroke of her velvety tongue. She clung to him as he deepened the kiss, devouring her mouth with pent up need flowing through him.

Her arms encircled his neck and she pulled herself closer. Anticipation rode him, strengthening his determination to have her tonight.

His lips trailed down her neck. “I want to take you to bed, Kate.” He grabbed her buttocks and pulled her closer so she could feel his desire for her.

His mouth returned to hers as he reached for her breast. She moaned and instinctively arched her body into him. He broke the hungry kiss, tried to catch his breath and slow his racing pulse before he took her hand to lead her up the stairs. She was finally going to be his.

Kate didn’t move. She slowly shook her head and breathlessly, she whispered, “No. I can’t do this, Jesse. I can’t just do sex.”

“What if it’s not just sex, Kate? What if it’s more?”

Her eyes looked hopeful. “Is it?”

He ran his finger through his hair. “Hell, I don’t know.”

“Then I can’t do this.”

He looked in her eyes and saw desire blazing. Desire he’d ignited. There was no denying she wanted him. “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want me.”

She looked at him and hesitated. “It doesn’t matter.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Hell yeah it matters. Tell me you don’t want me, Kate.”

Her body trembled either from lust or nervousness or both. “I don’t want you, Jesse.” She quickly looked away.

“Liar.”

He dropped her hand and told her good night. He walked up the stairs and prepared himself for another cold shower. He never imagined he’d still be sleeping in the guest room. He’d never had to work at getting a woman into his bed. But, Kate wasn’t just any woman he wanted in his bed. She was special. She was his woman. She just didn’t realize it yet.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

AJ and Dottie awaited Kate when she walked down the stairs the next morning. She’d been nervous about seeing Jesse, but his not being there wasn’t what she’d expected. And, it hurt that he’d avoid her.

“Good morning, AJ. What are you doing here?”

He stood and walked to the kitchen with her. “Reagan was sick this morning so Jesse went to see her, and he wanted you to have company until Matt arrived. Since I live close to here, I get the pleasure.” He flashed his killer smile as if that would make everything better.

She tried to remain calm in front of AJ. “Is she bad?”

He shook his head. “Nah, just a little tummy ache, but she wanted to see him.”

She poured coffee, avoiding looking at AJ, so he wouldn’t see the pain in her eyes. It hurt that Jesse hadn’t woken her to go with him.
Where I go, you go.

She couldn’t help but like his daughter. She wanted to be there, helping care for Reagan. She sighed. It wasn’t her place. Never would be her place. She was his current assignment, and someone he wanted to take to bed. That was it.