His Eyes (12 page)

I rolled my eyes and pulled onto the highway. “Um, no, I can’t say that I have.”

“Oh.” She lazily stuck her hand out the window to feel the breeze. “Well, a lot of it’s in Europe. It’ll get to the States, eventually.” She laughed. “To think, just last summer I was complaining to Tristan how I wasn’t known
anywhere
!”

My throat felt dry. “You were dating him last summer?”

“Yeah. I think we were talking at one of his equestrian shows. Trist’s quite an accomplished show-jumper,” she gushed. “And who could I resist him in a suit?”

I veered and a car in the next lane honked at me.

No more small talk. I was done. I leaned on the gas.

The Creature continued talking, no longer needing any encouragement. “And that was
some
summer! His mother was always going on about what beautiful kids we’ll have someday. She’s so sweet! And it’s true; I told him that he could come and do modeling with me. But, he had to finish
school
.”

Feeling like I couldn’t take another word, I cried manically, “Here’s the exit!” and turned the wheel so sharply that my Camry gave a protesting groan. The fact that I’d exited the highway did nothing to impact the velocity at which we were hurtling toward the Edmunds’ house. In fact, the longer we were in the car, the faster I pushed my little car to fly. And fly it did. In record time and with a very hard slam on the brakes, I parked in the driveway.

I left my car running and, without a backward look at The Creature, I headed directly into the house and up the stairs. I walked robotically all the way to Tristan’s doorway, while she followed. Then I stopped, realizing that I didn’t know what to say. I was a jumble of emotions—too many emotions. I stood still and was vaguely amazed that I was still managing to breathe.

But Tristan knew I was there.

He was lying calmly on his bed with his hands clasped on his chest as if he had been expecting me. He had on headphones connected to a walkman; I didn’t have to wonder what CD he was listening to. He hit the stop button on the player and his bright smile shone in my direction. I felt my heart liquefy. “Hey! Mom said you were coming. I hadn’t thought you—”

“Of
course
I had to see you! Your mom wasn’t supposed to tell,” cried the model while her tan legs strode past me and into the room.

I saw Tristan’s perfect smile freeze unnaturally on his face. She had stolen the smile—
my
smile!

He choked, “Lexus?”

“Who else would it be?” she laughed and pressed her lips against his.

The room spun. I felt sick. I held onto the doorframe and sputtered, “I-I’m going to get a drink of water.”

“Would you get me something, too?” The Creature purred.

I shook my head and fled from the room. There was no reason to be so upset. No reason. He was just a boy and this was just my job. There were no feelings involved. None. Before, when I thought there were, I was wrong. I was stupid. I was
so
wrong.

My head fixed straight ahead, I walked into the kitchen without seeing much of anything. I would have kept moving in my zombie-like state, if I hadn’t run into something. Instinctively, I stopped and looked down. Blinking, my eyes came to focus on a small figure that was lying on the ground, frowning up at me. It took me another second to realize that I’d knocked her down. I gasped, “I’m so sorry, Marly! Are you okay?”

She nodded as I helped her to her feet.

“Amy! Why are you here?”

I turned to see Chris walking toward me from the counter, on which he was building a Lego spaceship. I stuttered a reply. “I-I’m dropping someone off.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Mom said you had the day off.”

“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “Where is your mom?”

“Oh, she’ll be back soon. She’s ‘getting her hair done.’” Chris glanced at Marly and whispered to me from behind his hand, “That means she’s at her therapist.”

“I see.”

Grinning, he asked, “
Sooo
, who’d ya bring?”

“Well....” I looked toward the floor, suddenly finding it hard to form words. “Uh, your brother’s girlfriend.”

The boy’s mouth dropped toward the floor. He shut his eyes and moaned, “Nooo!”

I threw my hands up in the air. This was one
tiny
detail everyone knew, but me? I muttered, “Great, just great.”

I took a glass from the cupboard and began to fill it with water from the faucet. Feeling a tug on my jeans, I looked down to see Marly. Her eyes were wide with honesty while her small voice proclaimed, “We like you more, Amy.”

I smiled weakly, patting her head. I choked, “Thanks.”

Breathing deeply, I walked back upstairs and willed myself to be calm. This was only an inconvenience, a little Perfect Female inconvenience. I stepped into the doorway, looked up, and literally felt my heart fall clear out of my body. The Creature was lying next to him on the bed. She was tracing lazy circles on his arm with her fingertip, while whispering into his ear. Tristan looked frozen, but this did nothing to dismiss the fact that he wasn’t
doing
anything about it!

I couldn’t move. I was struck by the scene like someone witnessing a horrible car accident—I couldn’t look away. I heard her voice asking, “Why are you wearing these inside?” while her hand slid toward his glasses. He pushed her away and spoke to me like he’d known I was standing there. “Does she know?”

The Creature appeared shocked and a little indignant to see me. She looked back-and-forth between us, as if calculating the parameters of our relationship.

I stalled, “Tristan....”

“Does she?” he demanded.

“No.” My feet felt cold and I looked down to find that the glass of water had slipped from my numb hands.

“Know what?” she asked.

In my state of shock, the words came easily. “That he’s blind.”

“
What
?” The Creature screeched unnaturally and pulled away from him, while waving a hand in front of his face. She gasped with realization. “What the
hell
, Tristan?! Why didn’t you tell me? When did this happen?”

He spoke monotonously, “Two, three months ago at a competition. You wouldn’t know because you dumped me when you left.”

I blinked in surprise.

“That was just
temporary
!” The Creature reared onto her feet. “I don’t know how I feel about this, Tristan.”

“I didn’t know you were coming back,” he said emotionlessly. “After all, you didn’t come for his funeral.”

“It was a nine-month contract.” She began to cry unjustified tears. “I was
busy
!”

“Exactly.”

The Creature begged, “Don’t be like that, Tristan! Remember the fun we had—”

“That doesn’t make up for it.”

Her face tightened, until she exploded in a cry of, “Ohmygosh, you’re
blind
,” and swept past me.

I tried to not look at him. I tried to not feel that he was in pain. But I couldn’t stop myself. I sat on the bed next to him, staring at his face and trying to figure out what was going on inside of his head. I said softly, “I’m sorry,” and reached a hand out to place on top of his. I couldn’t suppress a gasp when he pulled his hand away from me.

His face was stony and his voice cold as he said, “I need to be alone.”

The flame of anger inside of my chest erupted into a bonfire. I was too mad to even speak. He
needed
to be alone?
He
needed to be alone? What about what
I
needed?! What about the fact that
I
had been betrayed? Didn’t he even
think
about that? Was I just a mistake? Didn’t he even
consider
me? If only I could have put any one question into words—but I couldn’t.

In a frenzy, I flew from the house, threw my car into Drive, and squealed my tires as I sped away from the Edmunds’ house. I didn’t make it far down the street, when I realized that I was in no state to be driving. I pulled to the side of the road and did the first thing that came to mind: I called Ahna.

“Ahna.” My voice sounded hallow and empty, even to my own ears. “I’m not dying, so don’t ask.”

Without hesitation, she said, “What did that jerk do?”

“He has a girlfriend...or an ex-girlfriend. I don’t know, but she’s here.”

“He
what
?” she screamed so loudly that I pulled the phone away from my ear. “After he went to dinner with your parents? And came to our graduation? And kissed you?”

“And they
knew
!” I added to the rant. “The whole family knew! Why didn’t they tell me? He’s so—did they
really
think—
ugh
! And the little brother, always making jokes about us! I could just—I could
just
!” I gave a huge sigh. “I don’t know, Ahna. I’ve felt like crying all day, but I can’t. Everything still feels like a bad dream; I can’t believe it. I was so stupid.”

“No, you weren’t!” she said quickly. “I mean, he kissed you too, didn’t he?”

I shook my head. “Yeah, I think...yeah. But what does
that
mean? That he’s really good at playing girls?” I slammed my hand into my steering wheel. “I mean, I
knew
he had had lots of girlfriends. He didn’t hide it.”

“I don’t know, Aim,” she said thoughtfully. “When I saw you guys together... I really don’t think he was pretending.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ahna said firmly. I could feel her getting to advice-mode. “Now, we have to figure out what you’re going to do. I don’t think you should quit.”

“You don’t?”

“No,” she said. “I think you’re making better money than we’re going to see in the next ten years! Yes, he’s a jerk. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I think it’s a good idea if you want to go to Evanston. Your savings account agrees with me.”

I laughed for the first time all day. “Oh, really?”

“Uh huh.” I could tell she was smiling. “Aim, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Thanks, Ahna.”

“So, what’s the girlfriend like? Can you take her?”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, she’s ‘perfect.’ Tall, blonde, tan... She’s done modeling overseas... Apparently his mom loves her....”

“But, does he?”

I paused, remembering his expression when The Creature came into his room. “I don’t know.”

“Well, no matter what, you still should tell him he’s a jerk,” Ahna said.

“Yeah, I’m sure that’s great for job security,” I replied sarcastically.

She sighed. “Fine, don’t listen to me, but the next time I see him....”

I laughed. “You’ll kill him. I get it. I’ll talk to you later, Ahna.”

I hung up and pulled back onto the street. I reached the end of Edmund Road before I realized that The Creature’s luggage was still in my backseat. I immediately stopped my car and, smiling wickedly, pulled out the monstrous bag. With a ceremonial kick, I knocked the designer bag into the gravel on the roadside. It landed with a thud, raising a cloud of dust.

I continued to grin the entire way home.

Chapter 11

Despite the sense my conversation with Ahna had made, the option of never going back to the Edmunds’ house was very appealing the next day. The option continued to be attractive the entire drive there. The reason that I went back was simple: I had to see Tristan. I
had
to. I’d never have been able to live with myself if I hadn’t known what happened. Had he kicked The Creature out? Had she left on her own? I silently prayed for either to have come true.

I stepped out of my car and self-consciously pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. My stomach was doing summersaults and my heart was racing; the rapid beats filled my ears. I took a deep breath and began to ascend the stairs, but froze on the second step. For an instant, I thought I was going to lose my breakfast, and then the feeling was gone. I thrust my shoulders back and continued my way up.

I could hear her voice.

“Oh, Mick,” The Creature whined, “I don’t know....”

I walked inside and spotted her in the den. Her back was to me and she had her cell phone pressed against her ear. As she turned to walk toward the couch, I flattened myself against the wall. I quickly looked around and was relieved to see that none of the Edmunds were around to witness me being a hack spy.

I strained my ears when she continued, “You
really
think so?” She paused as the person on the phone—“Mick”—responded. “But he said, ‘Try being friends.’
Friends
!”

My heart gave a jolt; he wasn’t dating her! The moment was short-lived, when I heard her say, “We
would
make a great headline. I mean, God knows he could’ve modeled! And, with him being blind—” She paused. “You’re right, a
People
cover.” She paused. “Well, his mom still adores me... Yeah. But, that girl was telling you ab—
ahh
!”

I jumped a foot in the air and echoed her scream. I was so intent on listening to her, that I hadn’t noticed her voice getting closer. We gaped at each other for a moment and then she snapped her phone shut. Her cat eyes glinted at me in the light and her lips formed a thin line. “My luggage was in the dirt.”

I raised my eyebrows innocently. “Oh, it must have fallen out.” Like your brains.

“
Sure
.” Her eyes glared into mine. “Listen, I don’t know what you think you heard—”

“I know what I heard,” I interjected. “You want to use him.”

“Listen,” she took a meaningful step forward and I realized, with dismay, that I was still pressed up against the wall, “I was here before you were. I don’t know what kind of relationship you think you have with Tristan, but he’s
mine
.”

“Excuse me?” I gasped.

The Creature leaned over me, saying firmly, “This ‘friends’ thing is just for show. I
know
Tristan; we have history. He could be famous—if he’s with me. ‘Lexus Elizabeth Carlton’s Blind Husband.’ That’s the way things are meant to be. Even his mother thinks so.”

“Great, another Kristy,” I muttered, not breaking eye contact.

“What?” she screeched. “I am
not
from Clarence! I was
tutored
! I’m not even in
league
with those girls from Clarence!” She watched my surprised expression. “That’s right. I know about every one of Tristan’s previous girlfriends and let me just tell you, those Clarencite sluts are pathetic. They’re so pathetic, they’ve never even dreamed about spending time
alone
at the Edmunds’ cabin with Tristan.