His Holiday Family (11 page)

A
ll evening Gideon had wanted to kiss Kathleen, so when his lips touched hers, it felt right. Better than right. He wound his arm around her and drew her to him. His mouth settled on hers as he deepened the kiss, pouring into it all the feelings he'd experienced whenever he was near her. Earlier, he'd watched her mouth move as she talked, smiled or frowned. He'd wondered what it would feel like when his moved over hers. Now he knew.

But in the back of his mind he heard Kathleen's words again. She didn't want to become involved with any man. She'd been burned by her deceased husband. She had been warning him. And he needed to listen.

When she slid her arms around his neck, he pulled back, his ragged breath sounding in the sudden quiet of night. “I'd better be going.”

Pushing to his feet, he hovered over her. She peered up at him, but he didn't want to see her expression. He wanted to think she enjoyed the kiss, at least some. But he also needed to remember she didn't want to get involved with a man. He had lost too many special people in his life. There was no way he would go through that
kind of pain again. So he had to back off before he fell in love and ended up hurt.

“Good night. I'll see you tomorrow.” He descended the remaining two steps, wanting to stay and pursue the feelings rampaging through him, but needing to go because of those feelings. He pivoted and started down the sidewalk.

“Gideon.”

He stopped and turned but he didn't say anything. No words would describe the conflict raging in him.

“I— Thank you for your help today.”

“Anytime.” This time he rotated around and hurried away.

 

Kathleen watched Gideon almost flee from her. What just happened?

She ran her fingers across her lips.
I was kissed by a dynamite, caring man. I was…

She didn't know what to think. Instead, she sat there letting her feelings dominate her—no, overwhelm her. From her hammering heartbeat to the tingling awareness of everything about Gideon.

What made him stop and pull away?

Did I do something wrong?

Derek's rejections the last year and a half of their marriage mocked her. Would she ever be free of those memories?

She stood, pulling in deep breaths over and over to calm her. She hadn't come to Hope to find a man. She didn't believe, like her mother, that a man was the solution to her problems. A man had put her into debt, attacked her self-confidence. No, she would be fine by herself. She would put her family back together.

But still she had wanted that kiss to continue. She'd
wanted to bask in the feeling of femininity it had brought out in her for a while longer.

 

The next evening after spending the day at Miss Alice's and then at the cottage picking through the rubble, Kathleen helped her mother put together soup and sandwiches. The back door opened and in came Jared.

“Did you two invite Gideon to dinner?” her mother asked as she put the soup onto the stove to heat.

“Yep. He's going home to wash up and feed Butch. Kip went with him.”

“He did?” Kathleen needed to say something to Kip about bugging Gideon too much.

“He wanted to help with Butch.” Jared's gaze lit upon Miss Alice sitting at the kitchen table.

“Whatcha doing, Miss Alice?” Jared plopped himself down across from the older woman, put his elbow on the tabletop and settled his chin in his palm.

“I had to do something. Your mom and grandma didn't want me to help with dinner so I'm playing solitaire.”

“Can I watch?”

“Sure, if that floats your boat.”

“Floats my boat? I don't have one.”

Miss Alice laughed. “If that makes you happy.”

“Nana plays solitaire sometimes, but it doesn't look like that.”

“There are hundreds of different kinds of solitaire.”

“Why don't they have different names?”

“Solitaire really means any card game you can play by yourself.”

“Oh.”

“Why didn't you go with your brother?”

“I don't know.” Jared shrugged. “I guess 'cause I'm tired after working all day.”

“You did good.”

Jared beamed. “I did?”

“Both you and Kip really helped Gideon. I heard him say so. I just wish I could have done more.”

“But you're an old lady.”

“Jared!” Kathleen closed her eyes and waited for Miss Alice's reaction.

“And proud of it. I've seen and done many things.” A chuckle accompanied her declaration.

“Like what?” Jared moved around to the seat next to Miss Alice to watch her play the card game.

“I've ridden a camel in the desert and an elephant in India. I've dived with sharks, and I've climbed some of the tallest mountains in the world.”

His eyes grew round. “Weren't you scared the sharks would eat you?”

“Tell you a secret.” Miss Alice leaned close and whispered something in Jared's ear.

Kathleen didn't think her son's eyes could get any bigger. “The first time! How many times did you swim with them?”

“Half a dozen times. I'll show you some of my pictures when I can get back into my house.”

“I'd like that.”

“Now let me show you how to play this version of solitaire.” Miss Alice shuffled the deck and laid the cards down in a pyramid, telling Jared what she was doing as she did it.

When Kathleen heard a knock on the front door, she merely continued making the sandwiches. Her mother looked over at her and said, “That must be Gideon. Would you answer the door?”

Kathleen thought about refusing her mother's request, but that would start a whole series of questions she didn't want to answer. Besides, she and Gideon could be casual friends.

She finished cutting the last turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich in half, then hurried into the foyer. Gideon stood on the porch. A picture of him kissing her the night before flashed into her thoughts—along with an image of him ending it suddenly and leaving right after that. All day she had avoided being near him and now she was face-to-face with him, only two feet from him. Way too close for her peace of mind.

He had kissed her and found her lacking. The insecurity she experienced reminded her of Derek that last year of their marriage. He had hardly ever touched her.

“Where's Kip?” Her voice cool, she stepped to the side to let him into the house.

“Butch needed walking, and he wanted to do it. I said okay. I hope that's all right with you.”

“That's fine.”

She swept around to go back into the kitchen, but Gideon grasped her hand and stopped her. “Is something wrong?”

Yes. His warm touch only reinforced his rejection. “No, everything is fine.”

“I'll go get Kip. I shouldn't have let him do it.” He released her hand and started to open the door.

“Leave Kip. I said it was fine. I know how much my children love animals.”

“Then this must be about last night. You've hardly said two words to me today. I know I shouldn't have kissed you. I was presuming something between us that's not there.”

Being punched in the stomach would be better than
what she was feeling right now. She backed away. She gritted her teeth and tried to think of something elegant to say. Nothing came to mind except all the hurt his words produced.

“I'm not explaining myself well. I mean—”

“Please, you've made yourself quite clear. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to help Mom get dinner on the table.”

This time he didn't stop her from leaving. Thankful he hadn't, she fought the tears jamming her throat. All she wanted to do was get through this evening without saying or doing something she would regret.

In the kitchen, her mother studied her for a few seconds then went back to setting out the paper goods they were using so they didn't have as much to wash. “Dinner is ready.” She looked behind Kathleen. “Where's Kip?”

In the doorway Gideon replied, “I'll go see what's keeping him.” Then he disappeared down the hallway before anyone could say anything.

The sound of the front door opening and closing filled the quiet.

Miss Alice swung her attention from Kathleen to her mom, then rose and asked Jared, “Will you help this old lady to the restroom to wash her hands?”

Jared jumped up and held Miss Alice's arm.

“We'll be gone for a few minutes,” she announced as she and Jared left the kitchen.

Her mom leaned back against the counter. “Okay. What's going on? I noticed all day you didn't say anything to Gideon. Are you two having a fight?”

“That would imply there was something between us.”

One of her mother's eyebrows rose. “And there isn't?”

“No, we're barely friends.”

“Oh, I see. So you two did have a fight.”

“No, we didn't and I don't care to talk about this anymore. I'm starved. I worked up quite an appetite today.”

“Ignoring your feelings will not make them go away. Since you and Gideon were getting along so well yesterday, I guess something happened after I went to bed last night. Today you wouldn't even think y'all knew each other. What happened?”

The tears fought to be released. Kathleen swallowed again and again. “On second thought, I'm not very hungry. I have to be at work at seven tomorrow. I'm turning in early tonight.” Biting her lower lip to keep from crying, she headed for the hallway.

“But, honey, it's only six.”

She ignored her mother's words and rushed up the stairs before Gideon returned with Kip. She didn't want to run into him. She didn't understand what she was going through, but she was determined to get a handle on it before she saw him again.

In the safety of her bedroom, she closed the world out and sank onto her bed. What happened last night was a good thing. It reconfirmed that she didn't need to get involved with anyone. Maybe after her children were grown up, when what occurred between her and a man would only affect her. Her sons didn't need to be subjected to a volatile situation as they were the past few years no matter how much she tried to protect them. Jared and Kip needed stability. That needed to be her focus.

A rap at her door startled her. “Who is it?”

“Gideon. May I talk to you?”

No, she wanted to shout, but instead she closed her eyes, fortified herself with a lungful of air and rose.
Her pace slowed as she neared the door, and when she opened it, she still wasn't prepared to see him. Nor the angry expression on his face.

“Can I come in?” Steel accompanied each word.

She backed away and let him into her bedroom.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he cut her off. “I asked you if there was anything wrong and you kept telling me everything was fine. Friends don't do that to each other.”

“Friends. Is that what we are?”

“Yes.” He paused and averted his gaze for a moment. “At least that was what I thought.”

“And so friends kiss each other like we did last night?”

“I knew it. I knew I shouldn't have kissed you. I've ruined everything, and I didn't want to do that.”

“Wow. That certainly makes me feel better. You regret kissing me.”

“I never said that. I shouldn't have kissed you because it led to complications, and I don't want to lose your friendship.”

“That's nice to know.”

“Sarcasm doesn't become you.”

She closed the space between them, her own anger surging to the surface. “Tell me why you kissed me last night. What were you trying to prove?”

“All day I'd been thinking about kissing you, and I thought if I did, that would be it.”

She sucked in a ragged breath. “I guess I should appreciate your honesty.” But her self-confidence had taken a beating the past couple of years. She hadn't realized how much until he'd pulled away and left so quickly the night before.

“You want honesty?” He got in her face.

She stood her ground. “Yes.”

“After you said that you weren't interested in getting involved with anyone, I had decided that was fine. I could respect your wishes. Then before I realized it I was kissing you, telling myself that at least I could satisfy my curiosity then let it go.”

“I'm so glad I could accommodate you. Now you won't lose any sleep over that.”

A humorless laugh escaped his lips. “I wish that were the case.”

“What do you mean? You pulled away and left in such a hurry I wasn't even sure what had happened. I figured you regretted—” She stopped, realizing what she was revealing.

“If you were going to say I regretted kissing you, you're right.”

Her anger dissolved into hurt with his declaration.

“And you are wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that kiss was amazing, but after what you said I shouldn't have done it. I should have respected your wishes and not complicated our relationship. I'm sorry I didn't communicate that well to you last night or earlier this evening.”

“The kiss was amazing?”

He looked at her for a long moment then grinned. “Most definitely. Everything I anticipated and more.”

The words washed away the hurt and lifted her spirits. “I thought—”

He held up his hand. “No more speculation. If something is wrong, we need to talk it out. That is what friends do. You and your family have made my medical leave bearable, and I appreciate that more than you can know.”

“I guess this isn't the time to point out I was the reason for the medical leave.”

A stern look descended. “This is the last time I am going to speak of this.” He rapped his knuckles against his hard cast. “I forgive you. Totally. One hundred percent.”

Kathleen chuckled. “Okay. I believe you. I promise.”

“It's about time. Because I didn't know what else I could do or say to convince you. I guess I could have had my friend write it in the sky for the whole town to see.”