His Perfect Woman (Harlequin Superromance) (13 page)

“W
HAT DO YOU
mean by ‘normal'?” he asked again when she didn't answer.

Melissa turned to look at him, her expression battle-weary and proud, vulnerable but determined. “Nothing. It's just that the normal part of me who planned ahead died like your friend. With every needle and cut of the scalpel, with every single hair that fell out of my head, I stopped believing in tomorrow. Bryan, don't you see? All I could handle was the day,
that
day, and sometimes I couldn't handle those! I had to live moment by moment because it was all I could manage, and if I refuse to put someone else through that, that's my right. You and my father need to respect that.”

Bryan braced his hands on the edge of the sofa table, gripping it tight to keep from grabbing her and shaking her. She was running away from her inability to see herself as healthy by shifting the subject to him.

Melissa picked up her purse and he bit back an order to stay. They had a lot more to say to each other. He wanted her to fight. To live. But moments later he heard the soft
snick
of the door being closed, and her rapid descent on the stairs. Her car started and pulled away and still he stood there, his hands locked onto the table.

Finally he got his anger under control and lifted his head
to survey the remains of what had been another wonderful evening with Melissa until it had degenerated into a fight.

He prowled the room, went downstairs to lock up and set the security alarm, then headed upstairs again where he sat down and stared at the papers Melissa had left behind in her rush to get away from him.

In that instant he wanted her back, wanted to redo the night and erase the argument. Sit down beside her and make her laugh so he could see the way her eyes crinkled at the corners, the cute way her nose wrinkled up when she made a face. Watch the soft fullness of her lips when they curled into a smile or, better yet, feel them beneath his.

Dear God above, he wanted her to fight for her life. He wanted her to live and love, and he wanted her— He
wanted
her.

He wanted her not to be so right.

 

A
SHLEY OPENED
the door, her smile revealing her confusion. “Bryan? It's late. Is something wrong?”

“Is Joe up?”

“No, he's asleep, but I can go get—”

“No, that's okay.” Ashley looked as muddled as Bryan felt, and he shook his head at himself. “Actually you might be the person I need to talk to.”

“Okay.” She bounced the fussy baby in her arms. “Come on in.”

Bryan entered the remodeled kitchen and paced across the floor. “I'm sorry for coming so late. I was out driving around and I thought I'd take a walk around the pond, but then I saw the light come on—”

“It's fine. As you can see Issy is hungry. Would you like something to drink? Some coffee? Water?”

“No, thanks.”

“Bryan?
Bryan?
What did Melissa do?”

He looked up and found Ashley watching him, curiosity clear on her pretty features. “Why do you think this is about Melissa?”

Ashley shot him an amused look before she grabbed the bottle she'd already prepared. She settled herself in a chair and gently inserted the nipple into Issy's searching mouth. “Because I've seen you watching her. You don't look at her like a boss, Bryan. You never have. Not from the moment I met you and saw the two of you together.”

He shook his head. “You're wrong. When I moved here she had already been diagnosed with cancer and was undergoing treatment.”

“I know.”

“How do you— What do you
think
you know?”

She smiled at him, one of those tolerant, humoring smiles he used to see his grandmother give his granddad. “Do you remember when you invited me to the book-club discussion at the library?”

He nodded.

“Well, I was getting Max out of the car seat and had just turned around when Melissa walked by. You two were aware of each other even then. She blushed after receiving a single look from you, and you…you told me she was sick and you could barely get the words out. You couldn't stand the thought of her being ill and left the room after I asked about her.”

“That was rude.”

Ashley's rich laughter warmed the room. “I'm not telling you this to give you a hard time about your manners. You had a connection to Melissa back then, and I imagine it's become stronger since you started working with her.”

“It's there,” he admitted reluctantly. “A long time ago I spent a few summers here as a kid and Melissa and I played together a lot.” He smiled, remembering. “The Popsicle Gang,” he said with a laugh. “That was our club. Stupid name, huh?”

“I think it's sweet.”

“But that's not— Ashley, I know more than I care to know about the ravages of cancer. I have a connection to her because I know what's been done to her. I know what might— I
understand
what she's been through, that's all.”

“Not quite. Empathy is one thing, but it doesn't explain why you're out wandering around at midnight.”

No, it didn't
. “We were working on the fund-raiser tonight and needed to set the dates for the events she's come up with. When she wouldn't give me an answer, I confronted her.” He'd resumed pacing while he spoke, but stopped to ask, “Did you know she doesn't plan ahead?”

Ashley looked thoughtful. “I've noticed a time or two that she's been leery of accepting invitations until right before the date. Why?”

“It's more than that. It's…it's
why
she does it. Melissa doesn't accept invitations because she doesn't think she'll be here or else she'll be undergoing treatment or something. She's cancer-free now and yet she lives day to day because she's
that
scared of believing in the future.”

“And that angers you?”

“Of course it does!” His loud declaration startled the baby and Isabella released the bottle with a whimpering cry. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare her.”

“She's fine.” Ashley soothed the baby and she was eating again within seconds. “Bryan, it sounds to me like Melissa is afraid and she has good reason to be. You can't argue that.”

He raked his fingers through his hair. “I'm not. I understand that, but she can't— What was it you said Mac's motto was?” he asked, referring to her first husband, who'd died and left Ashley a single mother. “Something about attitude being everything? Well, that's true of cancer. Attitude
is
everything with the disease, with winning the battle. If you think you're going to die, your body feels it and it responds accordingly. Patients have to fight with everything they've got and even then it doesn't always work, but if they don't believe it from the beginning… Melissa has separated herself from life and built a wall to protect herself.”

“Do you blame her?”

“No, but, Ashley, you need to talk to her. If the cancer does return, she can't go through it alone. She needs to find someone who'll help her, and with her dad marrying Ellen, Melissa's going to need someone to be with her.”

“I agree,” Ashley murmured, her expression shrewd. “So why not you?”

 

W
HY NOT HIM
?

Bryan pretended not to hear her. “All I'm saying is that it's a waste of her life,” he said. “Anyone who can get Mr. Mason to laugh out loud has got a great sense of humor. And you wouldn't believe the fund-raising ideas she came up with. Have you heard about the argument she had here with her dad in the dining room?”

“Yeah. Dara told me.”

“Well, I never thought I'd agree with the chief, but he's right. Melissa survived her cancer diagnosis physically, but emotionally she's not living. She refuses to try!” He shook his head. “What is she afraid of? It's more than just the cancer and her prognosis. Ashley, something else is going on here and I can't figure out what it is.”

“Figure out what?” a low voice growled.

Bryan turned and found Joe leaning against the door frame. He looked tired, but wide-awake and angry, like a bear wakened early from hibernation.

“Why are you yelling at my wife?”

“Sorry we woke you,” Ashley murmured, her smile tender. “Bryan's upset and frustrated, but not with me. He came to talk about Melissa.”

Joe blinked. “Frustrated, huh?” He shoved himself away from the wall and stepped deeper into the kitchen, barely disguising a yawn, his bare feet making no noise as he padded across the floor. Standing by Ashley's chair, he palmed the tiny head of his daughter and leaned over to give Ashley a quick kiss on the lips. “You were
supposed
to wake me up and let me take care of her.”

“You've fed her every night since we got home, and then gotten up and worked all day. I figured I could take this one. Besides,” she added, “if I hadn't, I would've missed Bryan's revelations about Melissa.”

“What kind of revelations?”

“He wants her.”

“Now wait a min—”

“He's finally admitting it?” Joe smirked at him. “After that speech you gave me about never marrying?”

“Joe,” Ashley murmured, her tone chiding. “Bryan wasn't serious about that.”

Once again Bryan pretended he didn't hear her and tried not to wonder how many other private conversations Joe had shared.

“So why are you here,” Joe asked bluntly, “and not with Melissa, talking about whatever is wrong?”

“I'm here because I'm so damned confused I don't know
what to do.” He pointed a finger at Joe. “And if you laugh, so help me I'll kick your sorry butt to the pond and back.”

“
Boys,
keep your voices down so you don't wake the whole house. And, Bryan? The swear jar is on the counter behind you. As to what you do about Melissa—you kiss her senseless and show her what she's missing. Make her want more from life than what she has now.”

“I can't.”

“Can't?” Ashley's surprise showed. “Why not?”

“She doesn't want me to.” They didn't have to know he was just as afraid of Melissa's cancer as she was.

“You're
Bang 'em Booker
. Surely you know how to make a woman forget her common sense?”

Joe snickered, his hands caressing Ashley's neck in slow, soothing motions. “Didn't work with you.”

“That was because I was already in love with you,” she told her husband. “But we all know how women are around Bryan, and Melissa's no different. He's had to do something right at some point.”

“Thanks for sparing my ego.” Bryan shook his head at them. “But I'm not kissing her again.”

“Again?” Joe asked.

“Why not?” Ashley demanded. “If you feel this strongly about her—so much that you come knocking on our door at midnight—why wouldn't you kiss her? Make her forget about
everything,
Bryan. Her fears, her upset and especially about the scars that make her so self-conscious. She likes you but she'll never admit it. She's afraid to.”

His body ached at the thought, the visions in his head so erotic he stalked over to the door and stared outside until he got himself under control, all the reasons they shouldn't be together lining themselves up in his head. “What does her
being scarred have to do with anything?” They didn't answer, and Bryan glanced over his shoulder to find Ashley openly gaping at him.

“You can't be serious.” She glanced up at Joe, then back at him. “You're serious?”

Joe chuckled but raised his hand to his mouth, coughing weakly.

“Please tell me men really aren't so oblivious,” Ashley continued. “You're a
doctor,
for pity's sake. Didn't you take a class on relating to your patients? Women's perceptions and emotions? Using your sixth sense to see beyond their words or something?”

“I have a feeling I'm not going to like this,” he muttered to no one in particular.

“I'd say you're right,” Joe readily agreed.

Ashley pulled the bottle out of Issy's mouth and set it aside before sitting the baby up on her lap to burp. “Melissa is scared because of the cancer and her past, yes, but it's also because she's
scarred
while you, on the other hand, are perfectly gorgeous.”

Joe scowled down at his wife. “Hey.”

“Not as gorgeous as you,” she corrected without removing her eyes from Bryan. “But in Melissa's eyes your looks are a definite
disadvantage,
not an asset.”

“Because she doesn't feel she's…” He slowed to a halt, finally beginning to understand and getting angry because Melissa didn't see herself the way he saw her. He squeezed the muscles of his neck and grimaced. She was beautiful, but how could he show her that, counter that without—

“Attractive,” Ashley confirmed. “Bryan, she'll probably never tell you this and I'm not sure I should, but…Melissa didn't have reconstructive surgery.”

He stared at Ashley in surprise. She hadn't? “Why not?”

Now she looked away, her focus on burping her baby girl. “She felt she was too small chested for implants to look natural and…you need to ask her, but before you go spouting this back to Melissa, I'm
not
telling you any of this,” she instructed firmly. “I just want to help you both, but she's probably too embarrassed to tell you and you're too—”

“Arrogant?” Joe supplied with a grin.

“I'm not sure what he is, but he needs to know everything Melissa is dealing with so he can understand.”

“I do understand.” Although at the moment Ashley's wanting him not to tell Melissa now she'd shared Melissa's secret was the only thing that made sense.