He gave a low, knowing laugh. “Not every woman enjoys the titillation of engaging in public sex, Winter.”
She realized abruptly that she was no longer trying to push away from him. Instead, her body had molded to his. His hand was gently smoothing her ass, describing slow circles over her backside. His whisper fanned her ear. “You get a thrill out of the possibility of getting caught, don’t you?”
The implication was damning in light of her obvious reactions. Shame and confusion and fear washed over her. In a suffocated voice, she said, “I want to go home, please.”
Michael released her and stepped back. Abruptly deprived of the heat of his body, she felt the sudden chill of the night air and crossed her arms under her breasts. Michael opened the car door for her, and she got in. She put on the seat belt and then turned her head away to stare at nothing for the return trip back to the city. She said nothing when he drove back downtown to the
Long
Center
for the Performing Arts and parked. She merely gathered her clutch bag and wrap before sliding out of the Porsche. She waited silently while he hailed a cab and paid the driver.
Before he opened the cab door for her, he tucked a folded crinkled paper under the strap of her tight décolletage. Slipping his hand farther inside the dress, his warm palm cupped her naked breast. His thumbnail grazed the tip. Her nipple pebbled. Fresh humiliation washed over her. He withdrew his hand.
“A Benjamin for every day. Until the first of the month,” he murmured. He kissed her lightly and handed her into the cab.
Chapter Seven
Cathy woke up heavy eyed. She had slept badly. All night she had been on edge, her nerve endings thrumming. She had not been able to get out of her mind the hot sex she and Michael had engaged in. It didn’t matter how she tried to talk herself out of it, she couldn’t deny that the sex had been hot.
She showered, dressed for work and grabbed a quick breakfast before she dashed out to her car. Every waking minute, last night’s foray replayed in her mind, over and over. She could almost feel Michael illicitly stroking her ass through her gown and making her stroke him while they were surrounded by the heat and press of other people after the ballet. It still shocked her that it had aroused her to such a degree to be touched and to touch that way. Then she was reliving the incredible sensation of air fanning her bare butt, his hot thick cock moving fast and deep inside her, the cool metal beneath her thighs…headlights coming.
Her belly clenched. She squeezed her eyes shut. Her hands tightened on the steering wheel. The beep of a horn snapped her eyes open. The light had turned green. Cathy stomped the gas pedal and sped on. She was trembling. For heaven’s sake, she had almost had an orgasm at the red light! The depth of her arousal frightened her.
She was haunted by her experiences with Michael.
During that memorable night at Michael’s house, he had brought her to mindless pleasure, where she had completely forgotten herself, how she had come to be there and why. In those hours in the musky dark, she had lost control of herself and her body. She had not known herself. Now there was this other thing. This—this public sex thing.
What the hell is wrong with me?
She wasn’t sure that she recognized anything about herself anymore.
Cathy didn’t remember the drive to work. She parked and yanked the keys out of the ignition. She gathered up her purse and got out of the car, slamming the door. She did not want to think about it anymore. She
wouldn’t
think about it any more. She would just do her job today. She walked rapidly into the building.
“Good morning, Cathy.”
She started perceptively and whirled around. Her shoulder bag smacked her hip. The man had taken a half-step back, mild surprise on his face. When she wobbled, his hand shot out, briefly providing support under her elbow while she regained her balance. Swift color rose in her face at her gaucherie. “Paul! I’m sorry. I must have walked right past you. I didn’t see you.”
He tilted his head. The overhead fluorescent light glinted off the lenses of his glasses as he looked more closely at her. Concern creased his gold-brown brows and was reflected in his sharpened voice. “Are you all right, Cathy? You seem a little unlike yourself, distracted. Is Chloe…I hope everything is all right?”
“Of course! I’m fine. Chloe is doing really well so far with the new treatment.” Cathy smiled, willing her heart rate to slow. She fidgeted with her purse strap, wanting nothing more than to slink off to her office. She hoped that nothing of her heated thoughts had been reflected in her expression when her boss had intercepted her.
“It’s just that you jumped a mile high, and I could see that you were distracted.”
“You just startled me is all. I was about to get a cup of coffee before I got to work.” Cathy gestured vaguely in the direction of the staff break room.
“If you’re sure…Cathy, I’ve told you this before, but you can take some personal time if you need it. You don’t really need to come in this early every day, either.”
“I know. I appreciate it, Paul.” Cathy nodded and smiled but felt the inevitable hitch in her breathing that the solicitous consideration always brought. She couldn’t fault Paul, though. She knew that he had her best interests at heart. He was one of very few who actually visited Chloe at the hospital. Paul Howard was a nice man, and they had dated a few times before her daughter had become ill. She was aware that he was genuinely fond of her and of Chloe. If things had been different… Cathy stopped that train of thought. It didn’t do any good to think about might-have-been. Her smile warmed for him because of feelings of regret and gratitude and respect. “I’ll let you know.”
He talked for a few minutes about some of the projects that she was working on before he let her go. Cathy almost raced to the break room to snatch her usual morning coffee and then sequestered herself in her office. She had almost a thousand things to do, and the phone started ringing soon after
. She was glad, hoping that she could at last think about something else besides hot, hot sex.
Cathy discovered it was one thing to make a resolution. It was another thing altogether to stick to it. Despite the distraction of her work, she caught herself thinking about that outdoor encounter at odd moments all day. Each time she did so, her breath quickened and her skin warmed. She despised herself for what was, to her mind, a perverted reaction. But she could not help herself. It had been singularly erotic to have sex in the open that way. Michael had taken her by surprise. He had taken her aggressively. She had felt humiliated and wildly turned on all at the same time, in a thoroughly mixed up way that she couldn’t understand.
The uncertainty was too much. At last, she decided that it was dangerous to go any further with the arrangement with Michael. She feared that, if she did so, she would discover far more about herself than she wanted to know.
“Hey, girlfriend, where are you?”
Cathy quickly looked up from her laptop. She realized she had been staring vacantly at the screen. She hoped it hadn’t been obvious. She pulled her scattered thoughts together and grinned with affection at the petite woman standing just inside her door. “Hey, Vicky! I didn’t expect to see you this afternoon. Did you get all of the bugs out of the new integration software?”
Vicky Sotero walked into the office with her usual brisk stride. She stopped at the desk, cocking a small fist on one nicely rounded hip. “Not yet, but I will. I’m taking a break. I think you need a break, too. I called your name twice before you even heard me.”
Cathy laughed and shrugged. “Sorry. My mind has been going ninety miles a minute.”
And it hasn’t been all about work.
She shook free of the clinging thoughts. She waved at the laptop. “Paul caught me when I got here this morning and asked for an updated spreadsheet on the projects that I have. I think he’s afraid that I’ll just disappear one day and no one will know what is going on.”
Vicky tossed her head, the blunt ends of her thick black hair sliding across her jaw. “Paul can be an old woman.” She narrowed her eyes at Cathy, her gaze becoming assessing. “You’re getting too skinny, Cathy. Come on, the donuts are on me.”
“Just what I need, a sugar high,” Cathy grumbled, but she allowed herself to be urged out of her office. When they walked into the break room, she was dismayed to see that there were already several of her fellow employees there. She kept the smile on her face, ignoring the constriction in her chest. Everyone greeted her pleasantly, of course, but she wasn’t surprised that before very many minutes she and Vicky had the break room to themselves. “It would be great if everyone would stop treating me like a pariah,” she muttered.
“Sit.” Vicky plopped a large glazed donut on a napkin in front of Cathy. “Don’t let it bother you, girl. Just because some of them feel awkward around you doesn’t mean that—”
“Awkward! Is that what you call it?” Cathy heard the bitter edge in her laugh. “Come on, Vicky! You saw how the room just emptied. It happens every time. I’ve got a daughter with cancer. All I hear is how sorry everyone is and ‘how are you holding up, Cathy?’ No one really wants to hear the gut-wrenching truth, that I’m scared out of my mind. So I grit my teeth and smile and smile and reassure everyone that everything is fine.” Cathy tore viciously into the donut with her teeth. She glowered at her companion. “Just once, I’d like someone to ask me what I think about the ballgame or the new show on television or whether I’ve heard the latest office gossip! Is that too much to ask?”
“Okay, so what do you think about Peggy’s affair with the nerd guy in my department?” asked Vicky mildly.
Cathy stopped chewing. She swallowed. “Seriously?”
“I hear that they’re having hot monkey sex.”
“Oh.” Cathy concentrated on her donut. Maybe catching up on office gossip wasn’t such a good idea, after all. It made her think about her own sex life, which had not only heated up but had flamed completely out of control. Her mind went on auto replay. Her body warmed, heat curling low in her belly.
“Not exactly what you expected to hear, huh?” Vicky’s dark eyes gleamed with amusement.
“Uh, no,” Cathy admitted. She dusted off her fingers with a clean napkin. She was glad to see that her hands weren’t trembling. “I think I’m going to go bury myself back in my office, now.”
“Oh, come on, Cathy. I haven’t shared the juicy bits yet!” Vicky looked around, then leaned in and lowered her voice. “Peggy says the nerd guy is a real bull.”
Headlights coming…her inner muscles spasmed.
Fumbling her excuses,
Cathy fled.
When she got home from work, she booted up her computer. She was going to send an e-mail to Michael dissolving their agreement. She would have to make other plans and take on some part-time position somewhere for additional income. She knew that whatever job she found could not possibly match what Michael had told her that he would settle on her, but it couldn’t be helped. She also hated what another job would mean. Work schedules were often inflexible. It would likely cost her time that she would normally spend with her daughter. Well, she would simply have to do with less sleep, she thought with a sigh.
Her gaze fell on her inbox, and she stiffened. There was an e-mail waiting for her. Michael had beaten her in the communication race. With a sense of dread, Cathy opened it. After she had read it, she settled back in her chair with a numb feeling. Her pulse beat heavy in her throat. It was the first of the month. He had emailed to inform her that he had deposited three thousand dollars into her bank account.
Cathy swiftly checked the account online. The money was there.
She shook her head. Somehow she had not quite believed he would adhere to the terms of their agreement, that he would simply continue doling out the hundred dollar bills each time they met.
It had not been difficult to decide not to accept the odd hundred anymore. It was quite another thing to look at that bank balance and visualize just what it could do in her finances—waiting there, in the account for her to use this month and the next and the next.
It bought her precious time to spend with her daughter.
Cathy covered her face with trembling hands. “Oh, God. I’m lost.”
It took her two more days of wavering and agonizing before she was able to shore up her resolve again. It was more difficult than she had imagined to compose the e-mail to Michael, but she finally did it.
* * * *
Michael dropped onto the hotel bed with a deep sigh, reaching up to loosen the knot in his silk tie. It had been a long, grueling week filled with negotiations, but at the end of it, the company had gotten the contract. It was a valuable one from a major international corporation. He would have to set up the preliminary groundwork for the encryption program for the new client, but then he would be free to fly back home.
He had been too busy for days to check his emails. Now was as good a time as any while he waited for room service. Settling back against the padded headboard, he opened his laptop. He scrolled through the numerous business communiqués, his fingers clicking keys as he answered the most urgent. Then he opened his personal e-mail account. Almost instantly he zeroed in on a waiting message with a familiar address.
Michael narrowed his eyes, annoyed. Why would Winter attempt to contact him? He had told her that he would be out of town. He had placed the three thousand that they had agreed on into her account days ago. There was no conceivable reason for her to e-mail him while he was gone. He had stated his firm expectations of their liaison. Surely Winter was not going to be one of those clinging types. He sincerely hoped not because that would definitely be a problem.