Hold on to Me (14 page)

The look Kate sent him said she didn’t think he looked fine. She obviously thought he looked fucked. Which was exactly how he felt. “Why don’t you go take a shower and get cleaned up while Ryan fills me in on everything? By then, maybe Shannon will be asleep, and we can all decide what to do next.”

What to do next. Yeah. Like that was a simple decision.

Mitch nodded, barely registering his feet moving as he crossed the office toward Ryan’s fancy corporate bathroom. He didn’t have a clue what to do next. But one thing was certain: he needed to clear his head and think.

Because if he didn’t stop being ruled by his emotions, he wasn’t sure where he’d end up. Or who would be leading him.

“H
ey, Counselor. How are you holding up?”

Simone looked up when Kate sank into the chair to her right. Mitch called her that too sometimes—counselor—and she’d always liked it, but right now all it did was make her feel like a fraud.

She lifted Shannon’s head from her lap to the couch and shifted closer to the short arm of the sectional so she and Kate could talk quietly. “I’m fine.”

“It’s okay not to be fine, you know, considering all this.”

“No. I’m fine. Really.”

Kate’s small smile said she didn’t believe her. “I wish you’d told me some of what was going on. I don’t know what I could have done to help, but I do know what it’s like not to have anyone to talk to. I would have been there for you.”

Simone didn’t want to think about how isolating her life had been because of all this. After she’d left New England, she’d accepted the fact she’d never have any close girlfriends again. Over the years, she’d made acquaintances, but she’d never let herself get attached to anyone. Not until recently.

She blinked back the tears threatening and leaned on the armrest of the sofa. “I’m sorry. I should have told you. It’s just…not something you can blurt out, you know?”

“I know.” Kate’s hand covered hers on the armrest. “And I’m not upset that you didn’t tell me. I understand.”

Simone frowned. “I wish others were as understanding.”

“Mitch is just…shell-shocked right now.”

Yeah, Simone knew all about ‘shell-shocked.’ But it was more than that. She’d seen the look in his eyes when his house—and life—had been destroyed, all because of her.

“He has every right to be upset with me.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s okay for him to be a jerk,” Kate countered.

Simone huffed a sound that was part laugh, part exasperation. “Maybe. But it doesn’t change the truth.”

“Just give him some time. He’ll get over it.”

Simone wasn’t so sure. And right now, she didn’t even know if she wanted him to get over it. She’d seen a side of him tonight she hadn’t known existed. And when she thought back to that earring stabbing into her back…

Her stomach rolled, and a sick feeling slid up her throat.

She closed her eyes tight, then opened them again, fighting back the nausea. “I can’t think about Mitch right now. I have too many other things to worry about. Shannon and I have to leave.”

“Simone—”

“No, don’t.” Simone held up a hand to stop her friend from protesting. This was going to hurt no matter how she did it, but it was better just to get it over with. “I’ve thought a lot about it while you and Ryan have been over there whispering. I voluntarily left the witness protection program. My case, according to WITSEC, was closed. But even if they would take me back, I’m not sure I’d want to go. Whether Will leaked my information or not doesn’t really matter. It’s out there. And with everything that happened, I obviously can’t stay here. I’d go now, except”—her gaze strayed to her daughter’s angelic face—“Shannon’s been through so much tonight, I wanted to give her one good night’s sleep before we leave.”

Kate was quiet for a moment, then finally said, “Where will you go?”

Options raced through Simone’s frazzled mind. Options she’d considered over the last few days, then abandoned. “I’m not sure. Somewhere far from here. That’s all I know.”

“Don’t jump without thinking, Simone.”

Simone looked to her friend. “I’m not. But if it was Reed’s and Julia’s safety on the line—”

Kate sighed. “I’d do the exact same thing.”

Simone knew her friend would.

Kate squeezed her hand and pushed to her feet, then reached for a blanket Simone hadn’t noticed on the coffee table. “I brought this for you and Shannon. If you’re really leaving in the morning, you need your rest too.”

Simone took the blanket and looked up at her friend. “You’re not going to try to stop me?”

“No.” She glanced across the room to where Ryan was busily searching his computer monitor. “But that man of mine is trying to come up with some other options for you. If he finds something, will you at least listen?”

Simone frowned. “I don’t know what he could possibly find that would change my mind.”

“Let’s just see what he discovers. He has been known to surprise us, now and again.”

Ryan Harrison, CEO of the universe, come up with something game changing? It could happen, but Simone doubted it. This situation wasn’t something his money or fame or billion-dollar pharmaceutical company could fix.

She forced a sad smile she didn’t feel and looked back at her friend. “Sure. But I’m not getting my hopes up. They’ve been crushed to rubble before.”

“Have a little faith, Simone. Sometimes, it’s all you really need.”

Simone flicked off the TV, spread the blanket over her daughter, and lay down on the other arm of the sofa, so their heads were touching on the pillow they shared. She used to have faith, but even that had failed her. She’d lost her identity, lost her husband, and now she was losing not just the family she’d come to love here in San Francisco, but she’d lost Mitch. The only other person besides Shannon she would risk all of this for.

In her case, even faith seemed miles out of her grasp.

CHAPTER TEN

A
wave of steam preceded Mitch when he stepped out of the bathroom after his shower. The room was dark, the TV was off, and the only people he could see were Simone and Shannon, asleep on the leather sectional.

Emotions rolled through his chest. His body urged him to go over, gather them both in his arms, and hold them close where nothing could hurt them. But his pride and that searing betrayal still simmering in his gut wouldn’t let him.

The light in the adjacent conference room was on, so he moved that way. Through the glass doors, he saw Ryan sitting behind his laptop, the screen reflecting in his reading glasses as he pointed to something for Kate, who was standing next to him, her arms crossed over her chest, her head dipped low.

He didn’t like that worried look. His sister had already been through too much. And he disliked the serious expression on Ryan’s surly face even more.

Pushing the door open, he forced his shoulders to relax and tried to keep things light. God knew they’d all had too much heavy to last them the rest of their lives. “Something tells me you’re not watching porn in here.”

Kate’s head shot up, and she quickly masked the fear in her eyes. She dropped her hands. “How are you feeling? Are you okay? Do you need me to rewrap that bandage?”

The last thing he needed was her fawning all over him. “No, I’m fine. Though I could use some of that coffee you brewed earlier. I don’t think I’m sleeping much tonight.”

She smiled, but it wasn’t one of her normal happy smiles, and that dimple they both shared didn’t even wink his way. “I’ll get it.” She turned to her husband. “Babe?”

“Yeah, I’ll have another cup.”

She grabbed his mug from the table and crossed the room. When she reached Mitch at the door, she rose on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave him a tight hug. “You scared me. Don’t do that again.”

He hugged her back. “I’ll try not to.”

She dropped to her feet, smiled again, then disappeared out the door. When they were alone, Mitch looked at his best friend and frowned. “Your acting skills suck. I can totally tell whatever you found is gonna fuck up my life even more.”

Ryan leaned back in his chair and chuckled. “I never claimed to be Oscar worthy.”

“Woulda thought you’d picked something up, all those years dating models and actresses.” He crossed the room and looked at the screen over Ryan’s shoulder.

Ryan swiveled his leather chair at the head of the conference table and glanced up at Mitch. Behind him, out the wall of glass, city lights twinkled against a black sky. “They weren’t exactly giving me acting lessons.”

No, they hadn’t been. In the years after they’d all thought Kate had died, Ryan had gone through a two-year depression where he hadn’t done much of anything besides work. Then, after much prodding—mostly from Mitch—he’d started dating again. But he hadn’t gone for normal women. No, the women he’d picked had all been flashy, self-centered, and not a single one had lasted more than a few weeks. He’d done his best to date every single woman who was the opposite of his dead wife, and not a single one had done anything to make him forget.

A lot like Mitch had done by bringing that girl, Lara—no Clara—home from the bar.

The memory of Simone finding that girl’s earring in his bed flashed in his mind. He knew she thought he’d slept with her, and the decent part of him whispered he needed to come clean. But another part—the part that was still really pissed at her—wouldn’t let him.

He focused on the screen. “What did you find?”

“Pull up a chair.” Ryan angled the laptop so Mitch could see it. “Simone told me her husband’s name before reidentification was Graham. I did a search, and this is what came up.”

He paged back up to the top of the article. It was dated over ten years ago and had been written by a reporter covering the case against Reynolds, Palmer, and McMillian, a high-powered law firm in Hartford, Connecticut. Mitch scanned the article, which outlined the state’s case, including charges of racketeering. The article mentioned Simone’s late husband by name as the accountant for the firm, and that he’d agreed to turn state’s evidence against his employers in exchange for immunity from prosecution.

It was the same information Simone had told them earlier. With two exceptions. This made it sound like Simone’s husband had received immunity from prosecution in exchange for his testimony, and the article hinted at a link between the firm and a secret organization with ties to the “power elite.”

A buzzing sounded in Mitch’s brain. The article was familiar. Too familiar. He read it from the beginning again, scrolled down, then froze when he saw the sketch the reporter had done of a symbol linked to this “power elite.”

Everything inside him went cold. Ice cold. He stared at the image of the three daggers, one pointed down, the other two perpendicular to the first, both pointing outward to form a cross, and above, a circle at the top, filled with two numbers and one letter.

“Oh fuck,” he whispered. “Fuck me.” This was not happening. No way was this happening.

“What?” Ryan asked.

The air closed in around Mitch. He pushed back from the table and dropped his head between his knees, focusing on drawing a breath. Simone’s panic attack suddenly seemed like nothing compared to this.

“Mitch?” Ryan asked again. “What the hell’s going on?”

Without lifting his head, Mitch turned the laptop so Ryan could see the screen.

“Yeah? So?” Ryan said. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

Slowly, because his hands were shaking, Mitch unlatched the watch he always wore on his left wrist and lifted his arm so Ryan could see the mark—no, not a mark, a brand—he kept hidden.

The room went stone-cold silent for several seconds, then Ryan whispered, “What the fuck is that?”

Mitch strapped the watch back to his wrist and pushed back from the table. He couldn’t sit. He had to walk. He had to think. “You know exactly what it is.”

Ryan sat stunned in his chair while Mitch paced the length of the conference room. “You joined a secret society? When did this happen? And why the hell didn’t I know about it?”

“Because it was secret, dumbass. That’s the whole point of a
secret
society.”

“But…how? When—?”

“In college. And you didn’t know because you were too busy hitting on my sister at the time to give a rip about what I was up to.”

Ryan was silent for a minute and then said, “You got tapped by a secret society our senior year?”

“That’s usually when it happens.”

“Why you? I mean…I was the one involved in a dozen different organizations on campus. I was the one with the higher GPA. I was the captain of the baseball team, and the one—”

“Holy hell, Harrison. Get over yourself, would you?” Mitch stopped and stared at his friend in utter disbelief. “This isn’t a competition over who was the better man in college.”

“They obviously thought you were if they tapped you and not me,” Ryan muttered. “Man, they really screwed the pooch there.”

“Son of a bitch.” Mitch raked both hands through his hair. “Focus, moron. This is fucking important.”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry.” Ryan held up a hand. “I’m just…surprised, that’s all. I mean…wow. They tapped you. I seriously did not see that coming.”