Hold on to Me (28 page)

The blaze inside her built to a roaring inferno. She lifted her hips, encouraging him to drive deeper, harder, to make longer strokes. He picked up her cues, knew her body so well, knew exactly what she needed and how to get her there.

He fisted the comforter in one hand, braced his other against the mattress near her head. Her fingers dug into his hips as he filled her again and again, as she moaned, as he kissed her with his rough, greedy mouth until she couldn’t take any more.

White light blinded her. The orgasm tore through her pelvis and exploded in every cell. She wrenched her mouth from his and cried out, unable to think, unable to move, unable to do anything but feel.

Him. Just him. Not pain, not loss, not heartache. Just a shimmering bliss she’d always felt only with him.

His body stiffened, grew tight and hot and hard. Then every muscle strained, and he groaned long and deep in his throat, consumed by his own release. And his climax sent a second current of pleasure arcing through Simone’s entire body. This one wasn’t quite as intense as the first, but just as mind-numbing and so utterly sweet, her entire body shook with satisfaction.

He collapsed against her, a sweaty, slick mess of man she couldn’t get enough of. She closed her arms around him and pulled him close. Her hands slid into his hair, and she twirled the silky locks around her fingers, not wanting to think, not wanting to plan, just wanting to go on feeling…nothing but this.

His hot breath fell across her overheated skin, making her flesh prickle. Several heartbeats passed in silence before he said, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

The first semi-smile she’d felt in days tugged at her mouth. Hurt? He had to be kidding. “No. Definitely not.”

He pushed up on one hand and looked down at her. But instead of the sated, relaxed, playful guy he always was after sex, his eyes were hard, his jaw was tight, and the way he was studying her made her feel like he was double-checking that fact as if he didn’t believe her.

A slow chill replaced the warmth she’d just been feeling. He pushed off her without a word, the bed dipping with his movements, then disappeared into the bathroom.

Simone’s heart beat hard as she stared up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what had just happened. She’d gone from content to unsure in a matter of seconds. Outside, a light snow began to fall, but it didn’t lend a dreamy quality to the room. If anything, it made her feel even colder, and she shivered.

She replayed the last few moments in her mind. Sure Mitch had been angry, but they’d had emotionally-charged make-up sex several times after an argument, and he’d never once cut her after with that cold, assessing, almost detached look she’d seen in his eyes just now.

Then her mind flashed back to his words. “
What we had wasn’t love; it was just good sex and nothing more
.” Words he’d said
before
she’d thrown herself at him and all but begged him to make love to her.

Except…that wasn’t making love. Not with the way he’d rolled off her as fast as he could. That was sex, just like he’d said.

She sat up quickly, reached for her underwear from the floor, and tugged it on. She didn’t bother with her bra—her hands were shaking too much to get it clasped—just yanked on her sweater and looked for her pants.

The door to the bathroom opened as she was pulling her shirt down. “What are you doing?” Mitch asked.

There was a hint of surprise in his voice, but she wasn’t letting it stop her. Her fingers closed around the denim, and she lifted her jeans from the floor where he’d tossed them only minutes ago. “Getting dressed.”

She shook the jeans out in front of her, ready to step into them, but his hand captured one leg and pulled them from her hand. “You’re running again?”

“I’m not running.”

“Sure looks like it to me.”

She reached for her pants, but he held them out of her reach. Exasperated, she turned to face him. “What’s the big deal? You’re not exactly acting like you want me to stay.”

“You decided that in what, two minutes? While I was in the bathroom?”

“I don’t have to have a master’s degree in geology like you to predict when a landslide’s about to happen.” She reached for her pants again, but he twisted them behind his back. “Mitch, you’re being childish.”

“Sorta like you streaking out the door as soon as my back is turned.”

Her jaw clenched. She drew a deep breath to keep from lashing out, but it did little to settle her nerves. Dammit, she didn’t know what the hell to do. Or say. Everything she said or did lately just made things worse. “Mitch—”

“What if I said I wanted you to stay?”

The air grew thick around her. Slowly, because she didn’t want to read too much into his words, she looked up. Irritation still lingered in his gaze, but there was something else in his green eyes. A softness. A worry. A confusion she felt in the bottom of her soul and which she was still trying to work out in her own head. “Is that what you’re saying?”

He pressed his lips together and slowly lowered her pants to his side. He was wearing nothing but loose gray sweats, his muscular chest reflecting the little light coming from the windows, and though it was foolish, her heart skipped a beat as she waited for his answer.

“I want you to stay. If you want to stay, that is.”

Warmth bloomed all through her chest. He still didn’t seem completely sure, but he was right. She had been running. And she needed to stop doing that. If by staying she could try to bridge this gap between them and somehow even convince him to disappear for a while, then swallowing her pride—and her fear—was worth it. “Then…I want to stay.”

A whisper of relief crossed his features, and seeing it made her pulse beat even faster. He dropped her jeans on a nearby chair, moved for the bed, and pulled the covers back.

More self-conscious than she’d ever felt before, she tugged the sweater down and carefully slid between the sheets. She moved over to her side of the bed, but he climbed in next to her, pulled the covers up, then lifted an arm over her head and tugged her close to the warmth of his body.

Her hand pressed against his chest. The soft fabric of his sweats brushed her bare legs as his thigh pushed between both of hers. She closed her eyes on reflex as his heat seeped through her sweater and into her skin. He smelled of him, of her, of sex, and her body responded with a host of tingles that started in her limbs and raced to her core.

“Mitch, we still need to talk about—”

“I’m tired, Simone.” His voice was weary but soft. And in the darkness, he held her close, not letting her move away. “Let’s just sleep now. We can talk about everything tomorrow.”

Tomorrow
.

It sounded like a good idea, but something inside Simone wasn’t so sure.

“Tomorrow,” she whispered.

“Tomorrow,” he repeated, his voice already drifting off.

She just didn’t know what the hell either of them was going to say tomorrow that they hadn’t already said tonight.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

M
itch glanced at the clock.

Four a.m.

He’d drifted off to sleep sometime after they’d made love, but it hadn’t been restful, and for the last two hours, he’d been lying here, staring up at the ceiling, trying to stop his mind from spinning.

Nothing worked.

Simone lay sleeping softly against him, and he looked down. Her eyes were closed, but even in sleep she didn’t look particularly relaxed. And he knew it wasn’t just what Ryan had told her either. It was everything that was happening between them and the fact neither seemed to know what to do about it.

He stared back up at the ceiling. And her words—the ones he couldn’t get out of his head—ricocheted back through his mind.

“
Every time I’ve ever needed someone, they haven’t been there for me, even you
.”

She was right. Not in the way she’d meant at that moment, but she was more right than she could ever know. He’d been telling himself all this time that she was the one who’d messed things up between them, but the truth was that he was just as much to blame. Instead of listening to her when she’d tried to explain, he’d pushed her away all because he’d been hurt. It was no wonder she hadn’t wanted to confide in him. And now, when she was willing to try again, there was nothing he could offer her except more heartache and betrayal when she finally realized his ties to her husband and the people who were chasing her.

“
I love you
.”

His heart pinched. How long had he waited to hear those words from her? And now she’d said them, when there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to fix this between them. Not when she found out the truth. And that meant he was stuck paying for a stupid mistake he’d made as a kid before he’d realized what he was getting himself into.

Unable to lie still anymore, he gently pulled his arm out from under her, and slid from the bed. She didn’t wake, just grunted and rolled to her other side, and breathing a sigh of relief, he crossed to the closet and grabbed a sweatshirt and socks.

The house was quiet and dark as he made his way downstairs. Embers from the fire someone had built last night were still glowing, casting an eerie red light over the great room when he reached the base of the stairs. He crossed to the kitchen and picked up his cell from the counter where he’d left it, then glanced at the screen.

Thirty percent battery. Enough for one call. His stomach twisted as he pocketed the phone and headed back for the front door. Shoving his feet into a pair of boots, he grabbed his knit cap and a coat. After shutting off the alarm, he stepped out into the cool morning air and drew in a deep, crisp breath.

The elevation here was a hell of a lot higher than the bay area, and the mountain air cleared his senses. It had stopped snowing sometime in the wee hours of morning, and his boots crunched over the fresh layer of snow as he cut across the yard toward the garage.

A light shone in the upstairs window. He had no idea if or when Ford slept, but he was thankful it looked like the guy was awake.

He punched in the security code. The lock clicked, and he opened the door. The stairs to his left led up to the second floor and creaked under his boots as he moved. Just as he was about to lift his hand to knock, the door pulled open.

Ford, dressed in jeans, a flannel shirt, and boots, stepped back to let him in. “Good morning. Or almost.”

“Hey.” The main room of the security center was lined with monitors and keyboards, a high-tech surveillance system that looked like something out of a spy movie.

Ford closed the door and moved toward a counter on the far side of the room. “You want coffee?”

“No. Thanks.” Mitch was already wired enough. He scanned the screens. Every inch of the property was visible from different angles, even rooms inside the main house—the kitchen, the great room, the safe room. “You monitor all this from up here? Every room?”

“Not every room.” Ford passed a spoon through his coffee and took a sip of the steaming brew. “Kendrick didn’t want cameras inside the bedrooms.”

“Smart guy,” Mitch muttered. “I’d have to hurt him if he did.”

Ford chuckled and moved to a leather swivel chair near a bank of monitors. “Every guest would hurt him if he did. There are cameras outside each bedroom suite, though, monitoring the decks and access to the house.” He hit a button, and the empty, snowy deck outside Mitch’s room popped up on screen.

Mitch scratched the back of his head. “Thorough. I guess that’s a good thing.” He looked toward the screen showing the upstairs hallway. “That’s how you knew I was up.”

“No. You punched in the wrong code when you left. That’s how I knew you were up.”

Mitch cringed. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t. I don’t sleep much. And don’t worry. I check for that whenever an alarm goes off in here. No need to send everyone running for the safe room when it’s nothing.” Ford lowered his mug to the counter next to him. “So what can I do for you at four fifteen a.m.?”

Mitch crossed his arms over his chest. “I was wondering if you heard anything about that accident up on Highway 267.”

Kendrick reached for a paper next to his keyboard. “Yeah. It was your car. Plates matched.”

Shit
.

“They didn’t find anyone inside, though.”

“No one?”

Ford shook his head and handed Mitch the paper. “They’re going to need more time to examine the wreckage, but my guy doesn’t think this was some random accident. They found a timing device on the asphalt near the site.”

Double shit
. Mitch scanned the paper. It didn’t provide any more information, just confirmed everything Ford had already told him.

“Yeah, I thought that was weird too,” Ford said suspiciously.

Mitch swallowed the growing lump in his throat, not wanting to give anything away. “What about the guy who stumbled onto the property the other day?”

“What about him?”

“Did he look like a normal crazed Kendrick fan?”

“None of Kendrick’s fans look normal to me, crazed or not.” Ford rocked back in his chair. “You seem a little nervous. Is there something going on you want to tell me about?”

No. There wasn’t. Not now. Not when in a few hours he’d be out of here anyway. Mitch handed the paper back. “Sorry. Two weird incidents close together just aren’t things I normally deal with.”

Ford huffed and set the paper back on the counter. “Lucky you. I get to deal with them all the damn time.”

Mitch turned for the door, his fingers itching now to make that call. “I’m gonna take a walk. When I come back—”

“Don’t worry,” Ford said, pushing out of his chair, “I’ll make sure I watch for you and shut off any alarms you trip.”

“Thanks.”

Outside, Mitch took a deep breath that did shit to calm his nerves. He’d gone over it in his head numerous times while he’d been lying next to Simone, and he’d hoped Ford would have different news, but now that he knew where he stood, there was only one thing left for him to do.

The water at the edge of the lake was frozen. It was still dark, but the clouds had parted enough to let a spray of moonlight lead the way. He headed across the rocky beach and didn’t stop until he came to a dark section of land at least two miles away, housing nothing but trees, brush and a FOR SALE sign.