Hold U Down (5 page)

Appalled, Unique sat quietly. She couldn't think of anything else to say. The only thing she could come up with to do was suck her teeth, roll her eyes, and say, “Whatever.”

“Both of y'all need to calm down.” Cezar laughed. “Whatever animosity you two got against each other needs to be put aside. I need your full cooperation.” He looked at them both.

“I still don't think this is going to work,” Unique mumbled, picking at her fingernail.

“Did I mention that both of y'all will be paid twenty Gs?”

“You should've said that at first.” Unique hopped up, grabbing her Bottega Veneta purse, preparing to leave. Placing her shades back on, she gave Bigg one last look and left.

Even though he tried not to notice it, Bigg couldn't keep his eyes off of Unique's big ass.

“I guess everything is set then.” Cezar got up too.

 

 

Pulling up to the parking lot of the clinic in which her mother lived, Unique looked in the rearview mirror and sighed. It was Family and Friends Friday. Every other week she and Patience would try to attend. Unique dreaded her visits with her mother. Every time she saw her, something bad would happen.

It never failed. After ten minutes of being in the same room with Unique, Syleena would have a fit. She never had one when it was just Patience. Syleena could sit for hours in complete silence and never utter a word, but when Unique entered the room, all hell would break loose. Unique didn't know what it was that triggered those negative emotions in her mother. Maybe it was her father.

When Unique was younger, Syleena often told Unique that she was the spitting image of him. Whenever Syleena looked at Unique, she remembered the rape. As a child, Unique didn't know how to handle hearing things like that. It made her feel dirty and unwanted.

“Come on. Let's go get this over with,” she said as she unlocked her door.

“Don't be like that, Nique. Maybe this time things will be better,” Patience reassured.

“Yeah, we'll see,” Unique mumbled underneath her breath.

As she walked down the cold, beige-colored corridor to her mother's room, Unique could feel the air in her lungs begin to fade. Seeing her mother had this effect on her, and she didn't like it one bit. Her main purpose in life was to always keep it together and to never let her real feelings show, but when Unique was around her mother, it was like she was instantly zapped back to being a little girl, unable to defend herself from her mother's hurtful words and violent tirades.

“There go my girls,” Nurse Sandy spoke.

“Hey, Sandy.” Unique smiled halfheartedly. “How you been?”

“Good. How you doing, Miss Honor Roll Student?” Nurse Sandy said, referring to Patience.

“I'm doing good.”

“Well, look, your mother's been waiting on you. She's been talking about seeing you all day. Why don't you go see her while I talk to your sister for a bit?”

“Okay,” Patience replied as she turned and walked into her mother's room.

“Did she say anything about wanting to see me?” Unique asked, already knowing the answer.

“No . . . not this time, Unique. She'll come around, though.”

“Uh-huh, but what is it you need to talk to me about? Tone paid the bill, right?”

“Yes. Tone paid the bill, but we'll talk about him later. Come sit down with me.” Nurse Sandy ushered Unique over to a nearby couch.

“It must be something bad. What happened?”

“We did an exam on your mother the other day, and—”

“And what?” Unique asked, becoming impatient.

“The doctors think your mother might have brain cancer.”

“What?”

“We didn't want to alarm you until we had all the facts, but for the past two weeks your mother has been having hallucinations. At first we thought it was just her acting out because of her schizophrenia, but then the seizures began. She's had two in the past week. The doctors did a CT scan on her and found a tumor on her occipital lobe.”

“I can't believe this.” Unique sat with a stunned look on her face.

“Now we're going to do all we can to help her, but with your mother's mental health, it's going to be hard.”

“How am I going to tell Patience this?”

“I don't know, but you're going to have to be strong for her, Unique. She's really gonna need you now,” Nurse Sandy said, wrapping her arm around Unique's shoulder.

“This is just too much for me to handle right now.” Unique let out a loud sigh.

“Just pray, Unique. Everything's gonna be all right.”

“Thanks, Sandy.”

“You're welcome, sweetie. Now go on in there and see about your momma.”

It took everything in Unique not to buckle over and fall as she stood up. She was so hurt by the news of her mother's illness that she didn't know which way was left or right. Standing on the outside of her mother's door, Unique glanced in and watched as Patience and Syleena laughed and talked like two old friends. Unique and Syleena never had conversations like that.

She hated to feel jealousy toward her sister, but Unique often found herself envying Patience. She wondered what it felt like to have their mother look upon her adoringly or to laugh at the things she said. Syleena was always so happy to see Patience. When she saw Unique, the only thing she saw were the eyes of her rapist. Now Syleena was sick, and Unique knew that she may never get to have the healthy relationship with her mother that she prayed for as a child.

“Hey, Momma,” Unique spoke as she entered the room.

Each time she visited her mother, Unique was amazed by how beautiful she was and how much Patience took after her. Anyone that looked at her mother could tell that she was a knockout in her day. She had the prettiest caramel, kissed-by-the-sun skin; long thick hair; and the most alluring brown eyes that anyone had ever seen, but as the years went by and her illness became worse, Syleena's looks seemed to diminish.

“Patty Cake, will you get me a glass of water?” Syleena said, ignoring Unique's presence.

“Sure thing, Momma.”

“So, Momma, how you been?” Unique asked once again, trying to spark up a conversation.

“Here you go, Ma.” Patience handed Syleena her cup.

“Thanks, Patty Cake. You so good to Momma.”

“Momma, I know you hear me!” Unique snapped.

“Is that man with you?” Syleena asked calmly.

“What man, Momma?”

“That damn daddy of yours.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I don't even know who my father is?”

“Come on, Ma, you were doing good. Try to be nice today,” Patience pleaded.

“Yeah, Momma, I missed you. I even brought you a present.” Unique opened up her purse and pulled out a small jewelry box. Opening it up, she revealed a white gold necklace with a small heart pendant attached. “See, here, it's a locket. It has a picture of me and Patience in it.”

“Get that damn thing away from me!” Syleena screamed, slapping the jewelry box away. “Patty Cake, help me! She's trying to hurt me again!”

“No, she's not, Momma. Unique's trying to be nice. Please calm down.”

“Don't you see she's the devil? She's just like her father, a Satanist!”

“Momma, no, I'm not. I wish you would quit saying that!” Unique yelled, aggravated and hurt by her mother's words. “I love you. Why can't you see that?”

“You're a liaaaaar! You don't love me. You're out to finish what your father started. I'm not stupid. Patty Cake, help me! She's out to get me! Please?” Syleena begged while holding on to Patience's arm.

“You know what? Fuck this! I ain't got time for this shit. I'm sick of you always treating me like this. I am not my father,” Unique snapped. She grabbed the jewelry box off the floor and left the room.

“Unique, don't leave,” Patience pleaded, following after her.

“Nah, fuck that. I hate her.”

“You don't mean that, Nique. Calm down.”

“Yes, I do. I'm tired of this shit. I got other things to deal with besides having to deal with her crazy ass. Now go and finish your visit. I'll be in the car.” With that said, Unique headed back to the car and cried for what seemed like hours.

It was two o'clock Thursday morning. Unique sat patiently in her living room, awaiting Bigg's arrival. He was late. Tapping her foot, she sat mad as hell. They were supposed to be on the road by now. Unique tried calling his cell phone, but each time his voice mail would pick up. This was the very reason she didn't work outside her circle. At least with the girls she had complete and utter control.

The past week for Unique could be described as hell, to say the least. After the disastrous meeting at the clinic with her mother, more bad news came in. The doctors called and confirmed that Syleena indeed had brain cancer. The only thing Unique could do was break down and cry upon hearing the news.

She regretted everything she'd said that day. She was just so frustrated by the news of her mother possibly having cancer and by her mother's behavior that it all just became too much for her; but Unique, being the chick she was, managed to somehow bring it all back together. She and Bigg had a job to do, and she couldn't let her mother's illness get in the way and fuck up her head.

Speaking of Bigg, after doing some background digging, Unique learned that before he got locked up, he was doing it real big. He grew up on the south side of St. Louis with Cezar. They both attended the same high school— Roosevelt. Bigg was a good guy. He played basketball his entire time in school, but his dreams of making it to the NBA were dashed when he busted his knee during a game. Bigg was crushed. Playing ball was supposed to be his ticket out of the hood.

Since his dreams of playing ball were no longer in reach, he turned to the streets. Cezar was already in the game, so it was only natural that Bigg linked up with him. Cezar introduced Bigg to the drug game. They both sold girl and boy, but as time passed, Bigg gained more territory than Cezar. Cezar wasn't the jealous type, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never bring in a fourth of Bigg's cheese.

Bigg had everything that Cezar wanted: real estate all over St. Louis, two barber shops, liquor stores, a beauty salon, five luxury cars, celebrity friends, and around that time, he had even ventured into the music industry. Business was booming for Bigg. He was living the high life of a young, rich, black bachelor—that was, until he was pulled over with ten kilos of cocaine in the trunk of his car. Bigg was seventeen years old and sentenced to ten years in prison, but he only ended up serving seven. With Bigg gone, Cezar took over and began running the streets of St. Louis.

 

 

Now fresh out of prison, Bigg was ready to reclaim his spot. He got out of bed, sat on the edge, and looked out into the night sky. The room was pitch black except for the slight glimmer of light shining from the moon up above. It had been seven years since he'd seen the stars. Running his hands down his face, Bigg thanked God once more for bringing him home. This time he was going to do things right. No more jail for him. He would die before he went back.

Since he had been out, Bigg had been making moves left and right. His one and only desire was to regain his crown on the streets. Bigg couldn't stand playing second fiddle to Cezar or any other man. He was grateful that Cezar put him on, but Bigg was used to being his own boss.

As he slipped on his pants and zipped them up, he checked his watch and noticed that he was over an hour late picking up Unique. Bigg knew that he was going to catch hell once he caught up with Unique.

“Baby, where you going?” a young redbone by the name of Brittany purred, half asleep. Poor thing, Bigg had worn the child out. She could barely move after he was done putting it on her.

“A nigga gotta make moves, ma. I'ma holla at you when I get back,” he said, pulling his T-shirt on over his head.

“You can't stay a little while longer?” she whined, exposing her honey-colored double D breasts.

“I wish I could, but I'm late. I gotta be somewhere.”

“Okay.” Brittany continued to pout.

“I promise when I get back it's me and you.” Bigg kissed her forehead.

“Call me!” she shouted after him.

 

 

An hour later, just as Unique was about to pick up the phone and call Bigg again, she heard a faint knock on the door. Pissed, she snatched the door open. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Just the sight of him made her sick.

“Yo, my bad. I got caught up,” he tried to explain.

“Yeah, whatever. Let's just go and get this shit over with,” Unique said as she pushed past him.
His nasty ass was probably out fuckin' some ho
, she thought.

“You're forgetting your bags.”

“You can't get 'em for me?”

“Say please.”

“Nigga, you got me fucked up. I'll get my own damn bags,” she huffed, walking back into her loft. Unique grabbed her heavy luggage, which was filled to the brim with designer clothes, shoes, and accessories, and lugged it onto the elevator with her.

“You a'ight?”

“I'm fine.” Unique rolled her eyes as she tried to steady her breathing.
I need to get to the gym
, she thought.

“You sure? Those bags look a little heavy.” He grinned.

“I said I'm fine.”

Unique couldn't wait to be away from him. Bigg was a self-absorbed, arrogant asshole. Standing side by side, she tried not to notice how good he looked. It was a little chilly out, so he sported a gray Enyce jacket, white T-shirt, jeans, and on his feet were a pair of white-and-gray BAPE tennis shoes.

This is gonna be one long weekend
, she thought.

Once they reached the main floor, Unique hoped and prayed that Jeffrey was working the night shift. Stepping off the elevator, she spotted him by the door.

“Jeffrey, can you load these bags in the trunk for me?”

“Sure, ma'am.”

Once everything was settled, Unique got into the rented white Denali truck. She had no intentions of talking to Bigg, so she placed her seat belt on, slid off her pink Juicy flip-flops, folded her arms, closed her eyes, and drifted off to sleep.

Hating her attitude but loving the way she looked, Bigg smiled, put the key in the ignition, and began their road trip to Louisiana.

Four and half hours into their trip, Bigg turned the volume up on the radio, pulled out a blunt, and sparked it up.

Eightball and MJG's “Don't Flex” was on. He had no choice but to turn it up; it was his jam. Unique was still asleep. Looking over at her, Bigg couldn't help but laugh. Her head was turned to the left, facing him. The girl was snoring, and on top of that, her mouth was hanging wide open. Bigg even spotted a little trickle of drool sliding down the corner of her lower lip.

“Don't flex, baby . . . I wanna see you touch your toes in that dress, baby . . . Bounce it up and down like we having sex, baby . . . ,”
he sang in between taking pulls off the blunt.

Stretching her arms and legs out, Unique yawned. The smell of Purple Haze in the air and Eightball and MJG on the radio had her fully awake. Feeling that her face was wet, she quickly wiped the side of her mouth.
God, I hope he didn't see that
, she thought.

“Where are we?”

“We're in Memphis,” he said, passing her the blunt.

“Thanks,” she replied, inhaling the smoke into her lungs.

“Yo, you was over there knocked the fuck out, snoring and shit.”

“I was not. I do not snore.”

“Somebody lied to you, 'cause you was over there snoring like a muthafucka.”

“Fuck you.” She grinned as her stomach began to growl. “Are you hungry? 'Cause I am.”

“Yeah, we can stop.”

Denny's was only two miles up the road, so they decided to stop there. She put her flip-flops back on, grabbed her purse, and hopped out of the truck. Bigg was already at the door, holding it open for her.

“Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” he replied, admiring her ass.

“Hi. Can we have a table for two?” Bigg asked the waitress once inside.

“Sure. Smoking or non-smoking?”

“Non-smoking, please.”

“Follow me.”

As they walked over to their table, Bigg continued to eye Unique's thick thighs and plump ass as she walked. The jeans she had on were so tight that he swore he caught a glimpse of her pussy print.

After guiding them over to a booth by the window, the waitress, Tracy, gave them both a menu and a glass of water. After ordering, they sat in silence for a minute.

“So, Bigg, what's your real name?” Unique asked, breaking the ice.

“How you know my real name ain't Bigg?”

“I know your momma did not name you Bigg.” She laughed.

“It's Kaylin, sweetheart.”

Hearing Bigg call her sweetheart caused Unique to blush. She couldn't believe that she had graduated to sweetheart level so fast.

“Kay . . . lin. I like that.”

“So, what's up wit' you and Cezar?” he asked out of nowhere.

“Nothing. Why you ask that?”

“I mean, you got keys to the nigga crib and shit. I figured y'all was more than just friends.”

“Well, you figured wrong. Cezar and I are
just friends
,” Unique stressed, hoping she was making herself clear.

“Okay, so what's up with the attitude then, Miss Unique?”

“What you mean by that?”

“You're so cold and defensive all the time. What nigga hurt you?”

“Ain't no man hurt me. Life hurt me.”

“What happened in your life that was so fucked up?”

“Basically, I've been an adult since as far back as I can remember. My mother's been in and out of my life since I was little.”

“What, she a blockhead?”

“Nah, my momma ain't on crack. She's schizophrenic. She's in a mental institution out in Jefferson City. I've been raising my li'l sister for the past five years by myself. It's hard, but I love my li'l sister. She's really the only family I have besides my cousins, Kiara, Kay Kay, and Zoë. We try to go visit her at least twice a month.”

Out of nowhere, Unique's eyes began to well up with tears as she spoke. She hadn't talked about her mother in years, and all the frustration seemed to start spilling out of her all at once. Looking out the restaurant window, she folded her arms across her chest and willed herself not to cry.

“It's hard, you know . . . because . . . me and moms don't really get along,” she continued.

“And why is that?”

“Because every time she looks at me she sees the man who raped her.” Unique turned and looked Bigg square in the eyes. He didn't know what to say. All he could do was sit and looked stunned.

“Yeah, that's right, I'm a product of rape. I don't know who my ol' dude is and don't wanna know. My mother hates me, and I'll use anybody or anything to get what I want, so now you see there ain't shit a man can do to me that life hasn't already done.” Unique's lower lip began to tremble.

“It's cool, ma. You can cry. Let that shit out.” Bigg reached his hand underneath the table and placed it on her thigh.

“I'm cool.” Unique wiped her eyes and slid her leg away. She couldn't believe that she had allowed herself to have a weak moment in front of Bigg. Unique thrived off of keeping everything together and bottled in.

“Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm here.”

“I won't,” she sniffed.

“Here you go,” the waitress said, placing their meals in front of them and interrupting their conversation.

“Thank you. Can I have some ketchup with this?” Bigg asked, ready to tear into his food.

“Sure.” The waitress handed him a bottle. “Anything else?”

“No, that's all.”

“Ma'am, do you need anything?”

“No, I'm fine,” Unique answered without looking up. She didn't want the waitress to know she had been crying.

Taking a bite of his omelet, Bigg wondered if he should continue to pick Unique's brain. He didn't want to dredge up any more horrible memories from her past, so he decided to switch the subject to relationships.

“So, tell me, Unique. You got a man?”

“Yeah, why?” She looked him square in the eyes.

“'Cause I wanted to know.”

“We've been together for five years.” Taking a bite of her T-bone steak, Unique checked for his reaction.

“Five years?” Bigg was surprised. “Damn, that's a long time. You must love that nigga.”

“Actually, I don't.” Unique laughed a little bit.

“What? How you gon' be wit' a man for five years and not love him?” Bigg grabbed the salt and shook some onto his omelet.

“Easy.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And you shouldn't put salt on your food. You're going to have high blood pressure by the time you're thirty.”

“It's cool.” He waved her off. “But what you mean, easy? You gotta have some kind of feelings for the dude.”

“I mean, he's cool. He gives me whatever I want, and that's all I need from him.”

“So, you are one of those chicks who only want a nigga for his ends.”

“Look.” Unique placed her fork down. “I don't believe in fairy tales and happily-ever-afters. Love will never be in the equation for me.”

“And why is that?” Bigg listened closely, dying to hear her answer.

“Think about it. What is love? Love is nothing but an imaginary feeling that people trick themselves into believing.”

“You really believe that?”